When I first saw that, my immediate reaction was 'surely, they do that after every game'...Originally Posted by Ian
When I first saw that, my immediate reaction was 'surely, they do that after every game'...
'Brutally honest' in their world probably means Thorpe looking at his feet and saying listen boys, we need to execute our plans.
That sounds about right, Jim.
I increasingly, genuinely think that the tone is probably much more "We need to try and reduce these unfortunate things that keep happening to us" rather than "Listen up, fuckos why do you keep failing in the exact same ways?"
I can't remember who I was talking to recently but I was talking about this with regard to both the England test side and the current United team, that there just seems to be an enormous lack of personal accountability. That comes from leadership, which we lack. And if all these conversations really are just happening now rather than after every one of the recent abject performances then fucking hell.
I see a bit in there about Buttler speaking up but he is one of the most culpable. That innings he played on the last day should be something he should be attempting more regularly. If you don’t think you can always score just block. Put overs in their bowlers legs it will make a world of difference to how the tests play out.
Blocking in Australia is very tough going. It's also what you have to do. It's what Cheteshwar Pujara did brilliantly, against a tidal wave of scorn, in their series win there last year.
You do it for two overs and the Australians are already twitchy. The commentators will be saying you need to be more POSITIVE and LOOK TO SCORE. Australians absolutely despise passivity and anything they see as defensive or underhand. It runs against the very core of who they are. This is exactly why you have to do it. Stop their macho momentum and you can get a foothold in the game. Go toe-to-toe on their terms and you will be thrashed out of sight with relentless ease. New Zealand will always be thrashed by Australia (certainly away) because they're too similar to them.
The last England team to win in Australia did so because Cook and Trott were prepared to bat for days and didn't care about LOOKING TO SCORE. That Australian side wasn't great but it wasn't bad either. We made them look worse because Cook and Trott ground them into the dust from the second innings of the first game. Kevin Pietersen doesn't realise this even though he was next in to bat after them.
Hameed has the mindset but currently not the full range of technique. I liked how he batted in the first Test, even though it was only a couple of 20-odds. Even then you could sense Australians straining to despise him because of how English he was being in mindset. This is what you want them to do. I hope with stick with Hameed. He played a shit shot in the last game.
Douglas Jardine is my hero and our greatest ever captain.
I remember the Liew bit about Rohit / India ahead of their last tour saying they basically spent weeks/months ensuring their players were in the test batting / English conditions mindset. We're still a bit fixated on taking what works for our short-form terms and trying to crowbar it into the test plan.
The data stuff is definitely more useful in short form cricket which is quite regimented but we seem desperate to bring the fabled models into test cricket and I don’t think it works it’s a completely unique game.
Even in T20 it grinds my gears a bit. Our balcony holding up those absurd massive number cards to denote the correct 'matchups' while New Zealand slotted us for 40 an over at the tail end of that semi-final.
Yeah I guess more the “left hand batter hitting to short side vs leggie” left arm over vs some guy who can’t hit through the off side type thing as joining a few dots or having a 25 run over is the game in that form. Doesn’t translate to Tests.
Been put in to bat at a damp, overcast MCG. Go to bed if you haven’t already and sleep off all the food. This will be brutal.
Game over. Series over.
Don't think there's a setnence more terrifying than 'Australia won the toss and elected to bowl'.
Me and Jimmy would be a better opening batsman than these jokers
David Gower being a second ahead of the pictures is very fucking annoying
Yeah as I was getting home last night remembered about this, checked that it was already 4-1 and noped my way to bed.
Again totally forgot about this until the morning update. lol.
Not brave enough with the ball again.
Covid case in the England family group. Call it off and declare the series null and void.
Yeah null and void is the only way forward. If we can’t field our full team who is to say that we wouldn’t win the next 14 days of cricket. Or we could just do an India.
Steve Smith looked like he was sniffing more powder than usual today. Wasn’t half jittery
Jimmy Anderson has never been better than this, which is ridiculous.
So, is it still the bowlers that are the problem Joe?
Is this potentially the least competitive Ashes series in living memory?
Probably, although I think quite few series were done early doors through the 90s and the last few down there have been pretty one-sided. Until 2005 the best we could hope for was a first test ambush before the slow grind to defeat, and that only happened once IIRC [Edgbaston]. The 2006 5-0 was the only one which was weirdly competitive given the outcome.
13/14 was ghastly but probably still not as inept as this.
Hasn't it been one of Root's best years as a batsman too and (partly because of Root the captain) it's all getting pissed away with this rabble?
I think I started watching about 2001(ish) and this feels different to all the others. We've been plenty crap before, but you always felt that we at least had a few players who on their day were capable of scrapping with the better teams. This batting lineup is so far off the required quality that it just feels totally pointless. You go into the day expecting most of them to score 7, and that's exactly what they go ahead and do every time.
It feels to me like they don't want to be there on any level.
Why is Joe Root even the captain? He looks like he’d get ID’d for buying a lighter for his candles
Wasn't it because he's about the only one that isn't Anderson, that's guaranteed to be in the team?
Pretty much all the captains since we got half decent again in the early 2000s have just been pick the best player, other than Strauss I suppose. I guess that means Stokes is guaranteed it if Joe packs it in.
Near enough.
We need a new captain, pick the best batsman, regardless of whether he's shown any gumption or not.
Stokes would be such a bad choice on several levels.
How much money would it take to get Nasser Hussain out of the TV studio to run everything? 8 bajillion pounds? Good value imo.
Stokes is exactly what they'd do, they'd go "Ooooh he does all those heroics, captaincy material!" but it would just end up with Stokes being annoyed as fuck wondering why he's literally the only one who ever does anything like that.
If Buttler is fucking undroppable (UNLIKE HIS CATCHES AMIRITE) just give him a go as the captain.
Burns captains his county doesn't he? I think I'd just make him do it on the basis we've tried every other opener in county cricket and they are all worse than him.
This is on the basis that I'd be replacing Buttler with Foakes for reasons of sexiness.
I might consider giving it to Denly.
Last edited by Cord; 27-12-2021 at 11:02 AM.
He’d go in like a torpedo it would be glorious.
The bowlers must be seething, at no point have they let them massively get away from a total the England batsmen shouldn’t be able to get near and yet we are so, so far away it’s unbelievable. Suppose the only thing is that at least one of the 4 down was Leach and the two in are Root and Stokes which gives the hope of some kind of miracle.
Realistically two totals of 250 in this game and they would be well in it. That really shouldn’t be that hard.
Does he also still partner Stoneman? If poor old Hameed gets the chop I'd give that a go as a pairing ahead of sodding Crawley.
Is Burns any good as a captain at county level?
He captained us (Surrey) to the title in 2018, though he was assisted by having a few weapons such as a full season of Morne Morkel. I think Burns the batsman at county level works well because the ball is 80mph and he has the time to get his various moving parts in sync, against 90mph bowling it isn't so pretty.
From what I know of Burns the bloke, I would have doubts - bit precious. Buttler my first choice for captain, let him bat 6 or 7 with no gloves.
Opener is a bit of an issue, there are loads of number 4/5s coming up but very few openers. Would stick with Hameed personally and pair him with whoever's in form. Alex Lees seems to have had a second lease of life at Durham.
If Root or Stokes are bowled out before 50/60 they’ll struggle to even get Australia back into bat.
Over within 40 mins
Root looks in lovely touch again. Excited to see when he gets out trying to run one down to third man.
It's alright, the goose was basically cooked on about day two of the second test. Everything since has just been an exhibition in how hard this rabble can show themselves up.
Christ, won’t be far off this. They’re actually not even going to put them back into bat
Fuck me
Quite possibly about to lose by an innings with the opposition having scored 267. Lol.
Imagine letting @Queenslander go 5-5 against you in his debut
5-6
Last edited by Waffdon; 28-12-2021 at 12:44 AM.
The real tragedy of this is Jimmy is probably too jaded to give us Jimrage part 3.
The worst thing about this utter disgrace is that they can blame it all on Covid/bubbles, when I'm sure we'd have been just as pathetic in any case.
I looked up on statsguru to see if we'd ever had a defeat in which the opposition scored fewer runs than this, only to find that yes, we had a far, far worse one THIS YEAR.
https://www.espncricinfo.com/series/...full-scorecard
We are absolutely fucking terrible at cricket.
Christ.
I'd forgotten that.
My medium pace pies would have bagged me a double hat-rick.
“There’s Still Time” Whispers 32-Year-Old Park Cricketer Watching Scott Boland Nab A 6fa On Debut
https://www.betootaadvocate.com/spor...e5Vn7zjzNN7QqA
Last edited by Queenslander; 28-12-2021 at 02:42 AM.
Apparently England haven't won a test here in 4008 days.
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