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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #3701
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    All the sorts of question you should ask your employer.

    Also, does it open opportunity at the other company. What guarantees do you have at your own place?

    I’d be a bit hesitant outing yourself into no mans land in the current climate. You either want to be on the good books and critical to your current organisation or the other one. If you’re expendable at both it’s fucked.

  2. #3702
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    You basically continue to be employed by your current employers, and they are lending you out to the other mob (and probably pocketing the sweet sweet agency monies themselves) so you still have a job at the end but you probably don't see the payrise unless you go permanent at the new place. No?

  3. #3703
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    You basically continue to be employed by your current employers, and they are lending you out to the other mob (and probably pocketing the sweet sweet agency monies themselves) so you still have a job at the end but you probably don't see the payrise unless you go permanent at the new place. No?
    Oh right. No payrise during the secondment = no thank you.

    Also I currently work for the local council and it would just be switching to the NHS/CCG, rather than actual companies, and they are supposedly a partnership but they’re not really.
    I'm a twit

  4. #3704
    Fuck like you cook.
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    I initially got told that we would survive the lockdown and that I would still have a job to go to but we got told otherwise over the weekend. Owners current stance is they plan on opening just one of the three restaurants as a trial run to see how things go. This year has been such a write off. I'm not sure if I am upset or just bitter but either way I feel so insecure as far as employment goes that I think I just need to bite the bullet on the head, sod off home and jump right back into care. At least it's guaranteed work and allows me to start earning properly again then maybe see what happens moving forward before I decide on my next step because quite simply my mind cannot hack this bollocks any more. FML.

    FM and Spotify has been a saviour this weekend.

  5. #3705
    Senior Member Andy's Avatar
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    In your position I'd move back into care work and reassess once the hospitality industry is back on its feet.

    Obviously not ideal but you just dont know how long you're going to be out of work and without the furlough scheme to help it's an impossible position.

  6. #3706
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I'd sell my arsehole on the streets before becoming a care worker. Especially in current climes.

  7. #3707
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Well you've got the technique down.

  8. #3708
    Fuck like you cook.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Andy View Post
    In your position I'd move back into care work and reassess once the hospitality industry is back on its feet.

    Obviously not ideal but you just dont know how long you're going to be out of work and without the furlough scheme to help it's an impossible position.
    It's probably the easiest line of work given my experience and I do think I would enjoy it still. I really enjoy cooking still but not in this moment and I'm convince that even when such places to reopen it's not going to last. I just don't see how it can be done whilst distancing. Kitchen alone you're bumping and grinding so God knows what the front would be like.

    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    I'd sell my arsehole on the streets before becoming a care worker. Especially in current climes.
    Not a great deal else I think I could jump straight into tbh and the only thing that concerns me most about going back into care is that going home means I'll be staying with my mother for a short time and that in itself brings issues but my sister had to move in during all this rubbish and she goes in and out of care homes all day every day so I'm sure we can make it work somehow. I can't survive on Universal Credit and already I reckon I have forfeited about Ł3,000 in earnings since end of March so as shit as it is, I think things will be a lot shitter if I don't start earning again soon. I don't have many bills but enough to cause me a few issues if left unpaid much longer.

    I guarantee when I go home that absolute cunt Rishi Sunak will dish out the news I've been waiting for nearly two months.

  9. #3709
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    My nights at Tesco were still the most enjoyable job I've held to date, can't you jump on that? The fucking honesty and autonomy of it all made me feel so alive

  10. #3710
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    +1 for Tesco Night shift. Easiest job I ever had. Especially if you get a night shift at the Petrol Station. You post the odd Mars Bar through the hatch but other than that you can do what you want for Ł8 an hour plus that sweet, sweet anti-social hours weighting.

  11. #3711
    I used to be funny.
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    The only thing that stopped me enjoying the night shifts I've done is the sleep schedule.

  12. #3712
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I’d love to do nights again but I don’t think I’d be able for it any more. Monday to Friday is such a shit way to work.

  13. #3713
    Senior Member Spoonsky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    +1 for Tesco Night shift. Easiest job I ever had. Especially if you get a night shift at the Petrol Station. You post the odd Mars Bar through the hatch but other than that you can do what you want for Ł8 an hour plus that sweet, sweet anti-social hours weighting.
    Do they not let people into the shop?

  14. #3714
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Not after a certain time.

  15. #3715
    Senior Member Spoonsky's Avatar
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    It was like that in Mexico too, I didn't imagine Britain would need it though.

  16. #3716
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spoonsky View Post
    It was like that in Mexico too, I didn't imagine Britain would need it though.
    It's only the Petrol Stations that do it. The 24 hour shops let people in whatever the time. For some reason, people just enjoy holding up Petrol Stations.

  17. #3717
    I used to be funny.
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    It gives them a place to park nearby for a swift getaway. And it's staffed by one person. And there's always cash on the premises.

  18. #3718
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spoonsky View Post
    It was like that in Mexico too, I didn't imagine Britain would need it though.
    Most of Europe has them.

  19. #3719
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spoonsky View Post
    Do they not let people into the shop?
    A friend of mine has been living the tesco night shift dream for years now and said you can basically get your headphones in and just crack on.

    I spent a decade of my life working shifts desperate to go 9-5 Monday to Friday and am happy enough. Even though I work more days a year this way I can plan my free time around others easier, plus the nature of my work means I never have an issue taking time off when I want it. On shifts it was a constant battle to get holidays approved, I remember once I applied for every saturday I had to work in March off and was approved for none.

  20. #3720
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    We've had a fun few days at the office.

    First of all, the 81 year old owner (quadruple bypass last July) decided on Monday he would bring an end to his shielding and start coming into the office every day again. Now, whilst he does own the building, this strikes me as fucking idiotic on a number of levels (50% of his workforce is furloughed with others working from home), and wasn't helped when he wandered around the very few places where there's anyone in and telling us we were all very lucky because there are people in the country who have no jobs and are struggling to eat. This may be true, but it is hardly motivating, and just sounds to me like laying the groundwork for freezing/cutting pay.

    Next, the logistics lady basically has a breakdown as business has picked up and with her team furloughed, the workload is far too much for one person. She begs the MD to make the Chairman get one of her people back from furlough, working from home, so that things are more manageable. MD goes to Chairman, and the request is granted but not to work from home - the Chairman, you see, does not believe in working from home (government regulations be damned). So he tells logistics lady that she can only have someone back from furlough if they come into the office on full hours. This is a farcical condition, not least because the person in question is a single mother with childcare issues. So the request is ultimately turned down (or 'parked' as the MD helpfully put it), and logistics lady quite literally goes and cries in the ladies' for about half an hour while the Chairman goes back upstairs to stroke his white cat for the rest of the day.

    I've learned a lot during this episode about the arrogance of rich men, particularly self-made rich men.

  21. #3721
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Awful pity she wasn’t set up to walk with no notice.

  22. #3722
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    That's where the logistics lady needs to find a diplomatic way of saying 'not doing this will cost you a load of business you silly old cunt'.

  23. #3723
    I used to be funny.
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    What does he think he loses from having a staff member work from home?

  24. #3724
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lofty View Post
    That's where the logistics lady needs to find a diplomatic way of saying 'not doing this will cost you a load of business you silly old cunt'.
    She used that one up last week when he tried to bring all the workers from home back into the office en masse, finally relenting when it was pointed out that if one of them brought the virus then a whole department could go down and the company would basically cease to trade.

    It's a very simple problem really, old man used to one thing won't adapt or change his ways.

  25. #3725
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Sounds like he needs to be persuaded to retire.

  26. #3726
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Sounds like he needs to be persuaded to retire.
    That seems innocent enough until you say it in your accent.

  27. #3727
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I fucking love getting this sort of email (from a legitimate local company, as far as I can see) on a Friday:

    Hi Jimmy,

    In these difficult times I thought you might be interested in taking a look at our ‘Marketing Continuity’ guide.

    It explains how, even if you are operating with a smaller or remote team, we can continue to create a steady stream of qualified new business opportunities. Opportunities that we can also help nurture remotely via email or telephony.

    The guide will outline the strategies we are currently using to maintain sales pipelines for clients as diverse as Boots, Dun & Bradstreet, VMware, Broadcom and IBM.

    Please let me know if you would like a guide sent over to you.

    Many thanks for your time,
    I love the idea that someone must have been sitting at IBM, received such an email and thought 'Fuck! I knew we were missing something all this time!'

  28. #3728
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Are you looking forward to your new business opportunities? Getting Carburettors onto the shelves at Boots would be some achievement.

  29. #3729
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Dunno but I assume 'sales pipelines' is something to do with the exhaust manifold.

  30. #3730
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Blazing row this morning between logistics lady and the MD, it was quite awkward to be sat there witnessing it.

    The MD's position seemed to be that because someone is currently working from home, it means they should also expect to work the hours they would otherwise be commuting. An interesting take which I haven't heard before, I'll give him that.

    However the end result is they are actually going to bring 1 person back from furlough on Monday, albeit not in a way that will have any impact on me.

  31. #3731
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    Blazing row this morning between logistics lady and the MD, it was quite awkward to be sat there witnessing it.

    The MD's position seemed to be that because someone is currently working from home, it means they should also expect to work the hours they would otherwise be commuting. An interesting take which I haven't heard before, I'll give him that.

    However the end result is they are actually going to bring 1 person back from furlough on Monday, albeit not in a way that will have any impact on me.
    That's incredible.

  32. #3732
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I don't think he actually meant it, or knew what he was saying, but as an emotional response it's telling.

  33. #3733
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    It's genius

    A friend of mine had a similar argument with his line manager about a decade ago. He was living about an hour away from work and used to get in at 8:30am to avoid school traffic (9am start). He eventually got fed up and moved a 5 minute walk away.

    After a few days of turning up at 8:50am every morning, his manager took him aside and told him it wasn't on, and he needs to arrive at 8:30am as he had been for the last 6 months. The manager also said he was still "taking the piss" because he's saving 2 hours of his commute every day, and by rights he should actually be arriving even earlier due to the time saved.

    Luckily an email to the MD had the manager apologising before the end of the day.

  34. #3734
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    The MD's position seemed to be that because someone is currently working from home, it means they should also expect to work the hours they would otherwise be commuting.
    Does.... does he think people are being paid to commute?

  35. #3735
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Reminds me of the Windows XP days: "You should be logged on and ready to work at 0900" even though it took about 20 minutes to logon and run all the scripts.

  36. #3736
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Logistics lady was having a (justified) moan about never taking a lunch break during this period, often working well beyond hours, and her working-from-home colleague doing the same, as part of her continued campaign to get someone else back from furlough. (Yesterday we did over 100 sales jobs which is impossible for two people to ship, so about 25 went unshipped, in a time-critical industry).

    For some reason that triggered MD into a fury: 'Well she's not commuting is she?! How about that?! An hour each way?! She can't say she's doing more hours!!!!'

    All the funnier due to the ream of empty desks/chairs in the office as the fury echoed around.
    Last edited by Jimmy Floyd; 27-05-2020 at 10:06 AM.

  37. #3737
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Can you not bundle him in a box of tractor engines or whatever to the furthest possible destination?

    I mean it's not like there'll be anybody there to witness it anyway.

  38. #3738
    I used to be funny.
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    Well ... you can't knock that kind of passion for the job at 80, I guess.

  39. #3739
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    My place tried something like that. It started when one of the courts moved a hearing from Chelmsford to 9am at Cambridge. Upon asking how he'd get the extra travel time back, they said 'well, you start at 9 and it's at 9', implying that replacing his 12 minute normal commute with a 2-3 hour battle with rush hour should be take on the chin.

  40. #3740
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    The plot has thickened this morning. Basically, all my team members were furlough from 1 April and their responsibilities divvied among the few people who are left - as the remaining junior I got all the mopping up stuff like answering every phone call, a few extra national markets, and doing all the admin that can only be done from the office. Other bits went to the manager working from home.

    Today the MD phoned up one of my furloughed colleagues and asked him to come back in for a week from Monday, in order to relieve the pressure on me. You can claim furlough for minimum of 3 weeks in a month, so if he only did one week and then went back it would be fine. This furloughed colleague (according to MD's acccount) responded by having a massive whinge, asking why he had to come in and couldn't work from home, saying he was a 'stickler for rules' (not sure what that means) and eventually accepting in a huff, saying he had no choice.

    I've no idea who's right and wrong, really, but am just chilling like a boss on the moral high ground. The whatsapp group is fucking quiet

  41. #3741
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    We're on a Zoom call (why, when we pay for Teams, I couldn't say) for a Q&A with our CEO and senior managers, etc. and at the start they didn't realise that IMing the guy sharing his desktop would cause Teams messages to pop up for everybody in the meeting.

    "Have you clocked the question from [person]???"

    I'm guessing it was a shiter.

  42. #3742
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Our briefing today basically said we're at home for the forseeable. ~10% will return to the office in the UK but no one will have to if they're not comfortable.

    Batted away my "well provide the equipment to wfh then and don't expect us to self supply" question though which is crap.

  43. #3743
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    I had a VC with a company yesterday who said their boardroom has been open for social distancing meetings for weeks as their clients don't want to do business or sign contracts over the phone or video call.

    So deals will be done in person. Interesting we might see the operations and engineering divisions of businesses pushed to the home. Lol at that when they are fucking bad enough working together in person...

  44. #3744
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Yeah we're not gonna be back in the office any time soon and even when it opens it sounds like they won't force anybody back. I think there'll be a big change for us and we'll be able to do as we please, within reason.

  45. #3745
    Pretty Much Amazing Mike's Avatar
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    Back in full time for 5 of the next 7 weeks then done for the summer.
    They’ve split people into groups, I’m with the key worker kids.
    They’re allowing each of the 3 year groups in for 2 weeks each. Starting with Y6

  46. #3746
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    At this point the plan is to have all the students come back to campus in August, but we'll see. I hope they do come back, because we need their money, but the FEAR FOR THEIR LIFE brigade is out there spamming emails of how we should just do it online. I understand their concerns, but I don't want to take a paycut to feel safe, so I say let them all in.

  47. #3747
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I was meant to be back in Monday, but it has been put back an extra week because 'the committee' doesn't want over a certain amount of people in the office. It seems unlikely that relevant guidance is going to change in that extra week to allow it, so they're either wasting a week or it's going to get rolled over and over (and we will all rotate in and out). I suspect they will have worked it out on people vs overall floor space, but I work in a separate office that most of the others can't access, so I can see it getting rolled over because they're going to be idiots about the entire thing.

  48. #3748
    I used to be funny.
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    Unless there's a secret corridor to your office that only you access, you'll be staying home. Our office has now opted to use side entrances but you still need to walk round to the main entrance turnstiles to gain access to the place. They're not really solving a problem.

  49. #3749
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Lol at anyone in the public sector at this point. I've been using the same doors, the same bogs, the same kitchen, the same corridors, the same equipment throughout the peak of the pandemic and I'll be using the same until depressed wages starve me to death. This is business.

  50. #3750
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    I was on the phone to my parents yesterday and my mum was telling me there’s a white van following the lorry around so the driver and worker are separate.

    Enjoy that climate activists.

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