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Thread: Mahow's all new, all new, all new food thread

  1. #4651
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Bacon in a hot frying pan takes a few minutes per side anyway. How fucking lazy do you need to be to microwave it?

  2. #4652
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    It's not a question of laziness. You'd need to have an actual disability.

  3. #4653
    I used to be funny.
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    Yep. It's why people with ADHD set their kitchens on fire. "I can do toast. OH, LOOK AT THIS!" <flames>

  4. #4654
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    I agree with bacon on the microwave being for deviants, but rice? That's some fucked up shit too, you weirdos.

  5. #4655
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I gave up trying too cook rice years ago. For the amount of people that say it’s easy, none of them have ever been able to offer anything more than “ah you just leave it for a while and you know when it’s done”.

    Microwave pouches all the way.

  6. #4656
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Rice is a weird thing. Everyone in Mexico could cook some cracking rice, no problem. Yet getting good rice over here seems almost impossible, to the point that I wonder why people even bother cooking/serving it.

  7. #4657
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Rice is piss easy.

    Rinse if its starchy type (like basmati) then boil for however minutes on the packet in loads of water. Trying to cook it with X amount of water always fucks it up.

  8. #4658
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Just buy a fucking rice cooker, it does it for you

  9. #4659
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    I had a shit rice cooker once and it kept burning the bottom.

  10. #4660
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    You don't fry the rice before cooking it?

  11. #4661
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I bought one and it only made wallpaper paste. Maybe you need a really expensive one but if I’m having rice it’s with a sauce so the microwave pouches are just fine at 52c for two portions.

  12. #4662
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    You don't fry the rice before cooking it?
    I sometimes do, it depends on what I'm making.

  13. #4663
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Yeah I wouldn’t fancy that flavour off rice for certain cuisines.

  14. #4664
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    I only ever use long grain / basmati but I've never gone wrong using twice as much water as rice and leaving it on a low heat (lid on) until all the water has gone.

    On the microwave thing, did no-one else used to read the Innovations catalogue that came with the weekend paper? That had (among many other very random things) a whole range of microwave cooking implements for various different things.

  15. #4665
    I used to be funny.
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    Yeah, that's how mine's done as well. I've always found rice to be simple.

  16. #4666
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    It was different back in the days where an Uncle Bens was 2 quid a pouch or when the only other option was Tilda for 1.50, but the own-brand ones are dirt cheap now. I gave up trying to find out how it was done then.

  17. #4667
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    I gave up trying too cook rice years ago. For the amount of people that say it’s easy, none of them have ever been able to offer anything more than “ah you just leave it for a while and you know when it’s done”.

    Microwave pouches all the way.
    For white rice;

    Rinse under cold water until the water runs clear. Put in pan. Add 1.5 times the weight in water. Add some whole spices if you want (cardamom pods, star anise). Bring to the boil. Lid on and boil on low-medium for ten minutes. Turn off the hob, don't take the lid off and leave to steam for 10 minutes.

    Perfect rice every time.

    I never cook brown rice.

  18. #4668
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Last time I did something like that I had to strain the water off it so it was like gloop.

  19. #4669
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    People who say they have no need for a microwave? Do you never heat up leftovers?

  20. #4670
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    Last time I did something like that I had to strain the water off it so it was like gloop.
    Try it. I used to hate cooking rice but since I've done it that way I've never had an issue.

  21. #4671
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    People who say they have no need for a microwave? Do you never heat up leftovers?
    Giving them to the butler cold keeps him in his place.

  22. #4672
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    People who say they have no need for a microwave? Do you never heat up leftovers?
    No.

  23. #4673
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    My Sistema microwave rice cooker is up there with the best things I've ever bought. Not only does it do perfect rice, but I always knew those Africans I lived with were taking the piss leaving rice boiling all day and night, so it has made me a better racist as well.
    Lads. Get on board.

  24. #4674
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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  25. #4675
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    I probably mentioned it at the time, but I have one of these and it's excellent.

  26. #4676
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Yes. lol at niko's faggy remain-voting equivalent.

  27. #4677
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Making some little cakes to take to work tomorrow, just boiled the glaze over on the hob. Fucking hell, what a mess. WHAT A MESS.

  28. #4678
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I hope they get confiscated and binned.

  29. #4679
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    People who say they have no need for a microwave? Do you never heat up leftovers?
    Leftovers always taste far better if they're put in the oven or on the skillet. But yes, the microwave method is a bit faster

  30. #4680
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    I hope they get confiscated and binned.
    I don't work in Maoist China.

  31. #4681
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    False.

  32. #4682
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mugbull View Post
    Leftovers always taste far better if they're put in the oven or on the skillet. But yes, the microwave method is a bit faster
    It depends what it is. Nobody should be microwaving pizza, but a Chicken Chow Mein or something is fine in the microwave. No need to fuck about.

  33. #4683
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    People who say they have no need for a microwave? Do you never heat up leftovers?
    In a pot and on the stove, or in the oven.

  34. #4684
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Why not build a fire in the garden you fucking savage.

  35. #4685
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    I don't have a garden.

  36. #4686
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    Frying pizza face down to re-heat it.

  37. #4687
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    I fry pizza crust side down on the lowest heat but with a lid on top.

    It's the best way to get it as it was.

  38. #4688
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Had Lasagne for dinner (leftovers tomorrow will go in the oven. Having a decent topping demands this).

    However, we had it at about 3 so I'm hungry again. There's some halloumi in the fridge and wedges in the freezer.

    Going to drown the shit in chilli sauce.

  39. #4689
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    https://www.greatitalianchefs.com/re...lognese-recipe

    Lasagna is so good. I've made this recipe a couple of times (including making the pasta), and whilst it's definitely quite a lot of effort it's so worth it.

  40. #4690
    heavy like led Dark Soldier's Avatar
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    Been a while lads


  41. #4691
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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  42. #4692
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    I went here last week for a kebab:

    http://willesden.lezzizcharcoalgrill.co.uk/

    Was delicious. A few of us shared their jumbo platter with lamb and chicken donner, lamb chops, lamb ribs, chicken wings, chicken shish, lamb shish and kofte.

    Just a huge plate of meat on top of rice and bulgur wheat.

  43. #4693
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I made that Rogan Josh again and it was class but now I wish I'd that kebab.

  44. #4694
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    That looks quality. I might pop round and get a mixed kebab at half time in the NFL games. The place near me gives you three full animals for a tenner.

  45. #4695
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    #pilaufromapouch


  46. #4696
    heavy like led Dark Soldier's Avatar
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    I'd slap me cock in that no worries Giggles

  47. #4697
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Made this today and it's lassies gonads. A class one for anyone not interested in the faff of making the curry base, etc.




  48. #4698
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Looks like what you might find in a public toilet.

    Will have to try it some day.

  49. #4699
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I’d chance making it first. You never know if you’d get the right consistency in a toilet.

  50. #4700
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    I'm sure I've asked you cunts before, but does anyone have any suggestions of good, healthy BATCH COOKING meals? I like cooking, but I'm also happy enough to eat the same thing for dinner 3 or 4 days in a row (it's also more economical as a single loser).

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