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Thread: The little things in life that fuck you off

  1. #6801
    Fuck like you cook.
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    I remember reading something a while ago that suggested there's CCTV for every 10-15 people in the UK (can't remember exactly) and over a period of 5 years or something back in 94 to 99 is when the home office splashed out on plenty.

    This being before camera phones etc too so it's only natural that we see and hear more than we used to.

  2. #6802
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Nobody would get to see the Evoque only for the mile run to school.

  3. #6803
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    People who think it's appropriate to eat cooked fish in the office.

  4. #6804
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Add eggs to that list.

  5. #6805
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Manc View Post
    People who think it's appropriate to eat cooked fish in the office.
    A had a strange thought along the same lines last week.

    I lived in two different house shares with people who liked to cook smoked fish of some sort which stank out the whole fucking place and it would drive me mad (double points for not washing up the grill/pan afterwards thereby extending the duration of the reek). The reason I thought of it was that I saw smoked kippers in the supermarket and thought 'I haven't had to smell those awful things for a pleasingly large number of years'.

    On topic: Anyone microwaving leftovers in the office, it never fails to make the kitchen smell of plastic and horror.

  6. #6806
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Microwaves

  7. #6807
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel View Post
    Microwaves
    Yeah, break out the gas hob and saucepans in work.

  8. #6808
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    It's a stupid language that barely anyone speaks. Here's a road sign that was about 50m from my house there:



    I'm sure you understand the English but the Welsh says 'I am not in the office at the moment. Send work for translation and I'll get back to you'.
    You used to live in Morriston? What were you doing there?

  9. #6809
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Living there.

  10. #6810
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    lmao yo i swear Spikes is the right amount of cunt.

  11. #6811
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Living there.

  12. #6812
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    The buses on my route are single decker now the schools are back again. Cram the kids in like sardines ffs.

  13. #6813
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    Sitting 3 to a seat gives you character.

  14. #6814
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    The buses on my route are single decker now the schools are back again. Cram the kids in like sardines ffs.
    Not quite the same thing but I remember in my last job the time ScotRail did their biggest ever price hike and it coincide with them halving the number of carriages on the train I usually commuted on.

    Oh how we laughed.

  15. #6815
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry View Post
    Fuck Gardens, fuck strimmers, fuck grass, fuck trees, fuck hedges, fuck bushes.
    A few days ago I lost a piece of the strimmer spool mid strim/strum but had no idea how or where it went. Bought a new spool yesterday and it now wont turn on.

    I assume the third party part is somehow making it chimp out but I have no idea why it would be doing so.

    Edit: I've just remembered that when I used it the strimmer started smoking due to the grass clogging it up after the piece came off. Motor must be fucked which is why it's not working \0/.
    Last edited by Sir Andy Mahowry; 28-08-2019 at 05:33 PM.

  16. #6816
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    Gotta go with the alpha dog (Weed Eater) and get rid of that beta "strimmer" nonsense, clearly.

  17. #6817
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    I'm thinking of getting a 550W 30cm cutting area beast to replace the crap 250W 23cm STRIMMER.

  18. #6818
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    I recently went from a cruddy strimmer with a really short wire, to an awesome cordless one. Could never go back to wired now.
    I'm a twit

  19. #6819
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    I recently went from a cruddy strimmer with a really short wire, to an awesome cordless one. Could never go back to wired now.
    I did think about cordless but the back and front garden is a jungle here, it's too big for a cordless and I'd end up forgetting to charge every now and then.

  20. #6820
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Get a petrol one

  21. #6821
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    Get a petrol one
    Fuck that. My Dad always bought petrol ones and they were a dick.

    I went for a SEVEN HUNDRED W beast with a 33cm cutting width.

    The grass wont know what's hit it on Friday.

  22. #6822
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    We've paid for Brown bin collection and ordered a bin and yet NHDC is saying that we're not on the system...

    Fuck councils.

  23. #6823
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry View Post
    We've paid for Brown bin collection and ordered a bin and yet NHDC is saying that we're not on the system...

    Fuck councils.
    By the sounds of it some version of Shindig is probably tasked with copy/pasting it into an Excel sheet and put it in the wrong cell.

  24. #6824
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I shove everything in black bags.

  25. #6825
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    We don't pay for recycling/bin collection here, and our version of council tax goes down the more the community recycles so you'd be thick not to. Also creates some sort of weird peer pressure if neighbours were to ever spot your bottles/paper going in the waste bin.

  26. #6826
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    I shove everything in black bags.
    The one bin solution. o/

  27. #6827
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Disco View Post
    The one bin solution. o/
    The final solution. \.

  28. #6828
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I made a joke the other day that featured a quick ditty to the tune of 'My Favourite Things'.

    I have not been able to stop thinking in this cadence ever since. It's been nearly a day and I'm going mad. Every sentence I read, every thought I have. My synapses are no longer individually firing, they all fit to this sheet music.


  29. #6829
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Me too now, balls

  30. #6830
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    The first sentence of that almost works with the tune.

  31. #6831
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Just listen to some baby shark.

  32. #6832
    I used to be funny.
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    Or Love Fool by the Cardigans. A song which has been stuck in my head for some reason.

  33. #6833
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Even apples are joining gangs now.

  34. #6834
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    Let's go hunt doo-doo, doo-doo doo-doo

  35. #6835
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Twelve year old's clothing and lol-worthy footwear
    Eight posts a day and most of them are a mare
    Small-time seethes about Tottenham when they win
    And he looks like that Shooter McGavin

  36. #6836
    I used to be funny.
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    Jaspergers.

  37. #6837
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    N ow i can't stop singing the melody please help

  38. #6838
    Fuck like you cook.
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    Sat eating lunch and something flies at me. I went to smack it away as I thought it was a fly, turns out it was a wasp and I caught the fucker between my fingers. First sting in 34 years.

    Cunt.

  39. #6839
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    I’ve had some absolutely shit insomnia since Sunday night. 2 of the 4 nights i havent slept a minute despite being in bed for 8-10 hours each night, and the other 2 nights i only managed to fall asleep at 5 am and stayed asleep til 10 am. It’s really fucking with me. Luckily, i’m back in school so i’m not missing work, but it’s setting me back in my schoolwork

    Last night i only managed to sleep once i had moved my bed into the bathroom and closed the door. I’ve got a really tragic picture of mattress next to toilet that illustrates the depth of my demise

  40. #6840
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    Have you tried the devil's lettuce?

  41. #6841
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    You're doing well to have a bed small enough and/or a bathroom door big enough to perform that stunt.

  42. #6842
    I used to be funny.
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    Stop thinking about it. Probably. I'm hoping the woman at work stays quiet today. I do not need to hear her taking very personal calls at her desk. On her mobile. In full view of team leaders.

  43. #6843
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bruhnaldo View Post
    Have you tried the devil's lettuce?
    Weed actually makes it harder for me to fall asleep, somehow. It’s moot anyway because weed is super illegal in Sweden and i probably won’t be taking my chances with it here

  44. #6844
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    You're doing well to have a bed small enough and/or a bathroom door big enough to perform that stunt.
    Tbf it was my mattress, not my whole bedframe and everything. It is an enormous bathroom though

  45. #6845
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    Rub one out.

  46. #6846
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    I've been rubbing like 3 out

  47. #6847
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    What benefit does being in the bathroom offer exactly?

  48. #6848
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    I think we can safely cancel all other entries for the Annual TTH Autismo award.

  49. #6849
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    It's pitch black and pretty noise-proof, but more than anything it's just a different location to where i normally sleep. I realized i was subconsciously associating my bed with *not* sleeping, so by moving the mattress somewhere else i might be able to break that psychological association. It sucks when I've taken a shit in there though, i'd rather be an insomniac in the main room than a sleep-capable poop smeller

  50. #6850
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    I went to a (away) basketball game on Saturday, spent 4 hours on a minibus, we then got beat, I had free bubble tea at the game, went to my hotel that had a whore house on the top floor, threw up said tea twice and couldn't sleep. Sunday morning was pissing down, did nothing for hours, caught the minibus back home.
    #AwayDays

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