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Thread: The All New, All Shit, Relationship Thread

  1. #5351
    Pretty Much Amazing Mike's Avatar
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    I’ve been back rocking AF1’s and life is just better in decent trainers.

  2. #5352
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    People living their life in black and white bitching at people for living in technicolour.

  3. #5353
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Twats.

  4. #5354
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    The prime example of that ^

  5. #5355
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mugbull View Post
    The prime example of that ^
    And the prime example of twat ^

  6. #5356
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    The only colour in Giggles life is that Greenbay Packers blanket he bought.

  7. #5357
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    It's more of a rug.

  8. #5358
    Fuck like you cook.
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    I registered to PoF earlier this week and it's only now just jogged my memory of that thread we once had. Anyhow, after a few models messaging me and offering it on a plate, I now find myself heavily in debt and my card details are probably being passed around more often than Bam's wife.

    On a serious note though, wtf? It's weird as fuck. The profiles read like shopping lists, some absolute munters messaging which makes me wonder if they are deluded or if that deluded one is in fact me and punching far above an acceptable threshold. So then Friday night I changed a few things, stuck a few more pictures up, did the tests things and a little intro then like magic, it stops and it starts showing potential. Am I being paranoid by believing PoF is controlling all of this just so I buy the membership with them too....it's all one big charade!

    Currently talking to some decent looking lass from London. I'm of opinion that if we haven't met within a week then it's not going to happen, is that too optimistic? At what point do they become the pen pal as in my mind, it's very soon.

  9. #5359
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    I've always operated on the basis that you need to get their number/other form of contacts prett sharpish and organise a meet within a few days or so. They're just bombarded with opportunities so if you're not showing forward interest, you may as well,not bother at all.

  10. #5360
    Fuck like you cook.
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    Let them be bombarded, I say. I have quite an extensive list of things I'm looking for in a woman and being the contradictory dick that I am, if they aren't interested enough to meet at whatever point I'm cool with then they probably aren't that interested anyway in which case, why make the effort.

    First I'm basing it solely on looks and size because I'm shallow like that. Then I'll go through the pictures, usually it's cute pic followed by duck pout and fat pic, fat pic, etc. Read the profile, they see it then I'll wait until they view mine, if they do, that's my queue or if I'm not overly interested I'll see if they do. I'm not even sure if I'm ready for anything anyway, I'm just a tad bored and thought it would be a bit of fun. I can say without a shadow of doubt though that there's a lot of ugly people within a 50 mile radius of here. Christ.

  11. #5361
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    I'm getting married next month

    Honeymoon in Santorini

  12. #5362
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    One table reserved for The Group.

  13. #5363
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    Quote Originally Posted by Foe View Post
    Cycling primarily.

    She wants me to be excited by upping sticks at short notice to jaunt off into the countryside to stay in a camper van and do pretty long, fast road cycles.

    She travels all over the country to compete though. She did an 18 hour round trip a couple of weekends ago to compete. Not sure after a week of work spending 40% of my weekend travelling to be around her competing in a sport I have little interest in is that appealing.

    I did try cycling last weekend and it wasn't great, but not complete torture so I'd at least be open to trying/do it on occasion. However my initial (and ongoing) lack of enthusiasm is being held against me.

    It's taken her 5 months to realise I don't do the same sport as her or have a similar interest in campervan adventures and apparently it's a pretty big issue.

    Giving her some space at the moment, but fully expect a breakup in the coming days. Sad in part because I really like her, but she's being so unbelievably stubborn (whilst being annoyed I'm also being stubborn) that perhaps it's for the best.
    Yep, got the final bullet on Friday. She showed absolutely no effort to find a compromise and has basically palmed me off. Wouldn't be surprised if she has some triathlete ready to step into my shoes.

    Shame really because I, and my family, really liked her. Mental given she introduced me to half her family like 2 weeks ago.

    Onwards and upwards though. She'll realise at some point how much of an arse she's been. I want to be with someone else when that happens.

  14. #5364
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Fuck that bitch

  15. #5365
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    Quote Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel View Post
    Fuck that bitch
    .

  16. #5366
    Fuck like you cook.
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    Swiftly jumped off PoF. It's so tedious and I must be a magnet for munters and mentalists. One girl actually had a whole conversation with me throughout the day then messaged stating that because I had changed my profile to "Just for fun" (I hadn't) that we were definitely not compatible then blocked me before I could respond. What's the point? I'll stick to the good old fashioned way, I think.

  17. #5367
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Foe View Post
    As an aside, my girlfriend keeps getting drunk and asking me if I love her. Pretending not to hear or understand her isn't fooling her any more. Awks.
    I imagine that business had something to do with her calling it a day rather than trying to find a compromise.

  18. #5368
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    ....

    Nah, must be all her fault.

  19. #5369
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    Quote Originally Posted by John View Post
    I imagine that business had something to do with her calling it a day rather than trying to find a compromise.
    I told her flat out if didn't like that. She never loved me either, admitted as much when I actually asked her so was a bit ironic.

    She did the whole cliched it's not you, it's definitely me thing. But actually, I think it is her.

    I'm not perfect. But me not being a cyclist / triathlete nor up for being told how I'd now spend my weekends in a campervan on a whim at some triathlon event or wherever she fancied going doesn't make me imperfect.

    Some day she will realise she was being unrealistic. Or she'll meet some triathlete who does exactly the same thing and live happily ever after. Either way, I lose in the short term and I've just got to accept it and move on.

  20. #5370
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    It sounds like the sort of relationship 15 year olds have. Stop watching fucking love Island.

    I love you
    ...........
    ...........
    ..........
    What?
    Nothing. Wanna come caravaning?
    Nah.
    We need to talk.
    Last edited by Spikey M; 25-07-2019 at 07:03 AM.

  21. #5371
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Separation agreement drafted, waiting on her signing it or getting her own solicitor to dispute. If its the latter I dread to think how much its going to cost. As we both see it the figure is 50/50 exactly.

    Childcare and CSA not included, she's well within her rights to fuck me over there too and there's not a thing I can do about it.

  22. #5372
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    Spent the last week or so messaging a couple of girls. One who seems lovely and I really want to meet but she's away on holiday for a week. The other who I used to work with I want to have some fun with..

    Offshore this week or id already have been putting both of those in motion.

    Add to that "the ex" messaged me and "wants to talk, as she's been doing some thinking". Going to give myself a week or two delay before arranging that and try and see these other girls. She either wants to tell me some hidden truths/demands or give it another go, and I'm not ready to hear about it either way. I want to test the water elsewhere in the interim.

  23. #5373
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    If you even reply to her then you've only yourself to blame for the mess you'll be in 6, 12, 18, etc months time when she gets her notions again. Blank her completely. It'll have the added bonus of driving her insane.

  24. #5374
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    Yeah I responded and basically told her "not now, I'll speak to you in a week or so" and haven't messaged her since.

    Tbf she probably just wants to tell me again how she dislikes how little interest I have in her campervan and cycling.

    But yeah, I do worry that she was so willing and able to fuck it all off now, what happens if she did that 12 or 36 months down the line? She gave up on me so easily. Maybe she's got a new bf and just wants to tell me? Who knows.

  25. #5375
    heavy like led Dark Soldier's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smjffy View Post
    Swiftly jumped off PoF. It's so tedious and I must be a magnet for munters and mentalists. One girl actually had a whole conversation with me throughout the day then messaged stating that because I had changed my profile to "Just for fun" (I hadn't) that we were definitely not compatible then blocked me before I could respond. What's the point? I'll stick to the good old fashioned way, I think.
    Bumble is good. PoF fucked itself into oblivion years ago.

  26. #5376
    Fuck like you cook.
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    I'll bare it in mind for future reference. I've already got the thought of meeting others out of my head in fairness. It's too much effort.

  27. #5377
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    I'm a twit

  28. #5378
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    Ha.

    I could take garden soccer global.

  29. #5379
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    When does the Undateables open for applicants?

  30. #5380
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    When does the Undateables open for applicants?
    I thought you had a missus?
    I'm a twit

  31. #5381
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Well, I've had yours.

  32. #5382
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smjffy View Post
    I'll bare it in mind for future reference. I've already got the thought of meeting others out of my head in fairness. It's too much effort.
    Isn't it. Draining, depressing stuff.

    I haven't even so much as kissed anyone else since the 8th of December 2018. Man or woman. Dead or alive.

  33. #5383
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Should’ve lipsed @Waffdon
    I'm a twit

  34. #5384
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    I haven't had a date either.

  35. #5385
    Fuck like you cook.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    Isn't it. Draining, depressing stuff.

    I haven't even so much as kissed anyone else since the 8th of December 2018. Man or woman. Dead or alive.
    So erm.....a/s/l?

    den we wil c xx

  36. #5386
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Foe playing a blinder. Body fat must be sub 15%.

  37. #5387
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    She signed it.

  38. #5388
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    Quote Originally Posted by Manc View Post
    Foe playing a blinder. Body fat must be sub 15%.
    Figured it out. Yep, I'm pretty lean at the moment, or I was a few days ago before offshore life smashed me.

    Some girls like a bald guy. I'm trying (and failing) to be a muscular bald guy. But I am consistent at wearing hats.


  39. #5389
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    She signed it.
    Now you live.

  40. #5390
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel View Post
    Now you live.
    With a crippling mortgage and maintenance on top.

    Added bonus: all my daughter talks about now is ‘mummy and John’.

    Tempted to teach her how to start fires but I know how awful it is to lie and basically live two different lives and be embarrassed to talk about stuff so I let her waffle away freely, despite it feeling like a knife to the heart every time. Not for my ex wife, but for my daughter. I’m scared she spends way more time and I am phased out.


  41. #5391
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    She's moved on relatively quickly. She always comes across as such a shithouse, albeit via your perspective.

    You should fuck her mom. Or John's.

  42. #5392
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mellberg View Post
    She's moved on relatively quickly. She always comes across as such a shithouse, albeit via your perspective.

    You should fuck her mom. Or John's.
    She’d moved on when we were still together Melly.

  43. #5393
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    She gets 23 grand upfront, then 250 a month.

    I get my daughter circa 2-3 nights a week. She stays at the same school.

  44. #5394
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    It's sickening that she won't have to account for a penny of the 250 quid either. There should be a receipt system.

  45. #5395
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    It’ll be spent on John’s weed.
    I'm a twit

  46. #5396
    I used to be funny.
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    Facilitating Waff's coke habit.

  47. #5397
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    It’ll be spent on John’s weed.
    Probably. He's about 40 lol, two teenage kids as well apparently and lives with his mum in a shit area. No idea what she's thinking. Up to her, as long as he's sound with Amber I don't really care.

  48. #5398
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Kirkton boy?

  49. #5399
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    I said you've not even told me anything about this guy for Amber's sake, she told me a bit then started to say he'd do anything for me and I abruptly interrupted her with SUBJECTIVE let's stick to facts, like Dwight from The Office. Wiped the smug smile off her face.

  50. #5400
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Why did you give your kid a strippers name?

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