The January Football Thread

[Waffdon]

Nothing really but the Yanks come across just as trigger happy as the previous lot. Finishing 10th with Potter would be the best possible thing to happen for Chelsea. Similar to the season before Conte won them the league. Hopefully with a lot more of the deadwood moved on and an actual midfield and not Azpilicueta covering for James

[Lewis]

Grahamp Otter.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If (as I think) they are doing this as if it's a baseball team, they will stick with Potter regardless of results - as they should - and wait until godawful crap has been shipped out. The only problem is their transfer strategy appears to be clueless.

One of the biggest nights in Fulham's history, this. You can tell from the excited smiles on the bench.

[Baz]

Fulham in 6th and absolutely flying. Love it.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Is it fuck, they've won the Intertoto Cup.

[thommo]

One of the biggest nights in Fulham's history, this. You can tell from the excited smiles on the bench.

Keep it coming.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Keep it coming.

I only hate you when you play us, as your fans get absolutely bang up for it in a lower-league type way that ours just can't, which as a bigger club fan is a massive irritant (there are plenty such examples elsewhere in the country).

The rest of the time you're just Harlequins but playing football.

[Waffdon]

How are Liverpool and Brighton only 2 and 3 points ahead of this Chelsea side. I thought Chelsea would only be about 6/7 points ahead of 18th but they’re somehow still 10 points clear. There goes any fun relegation battles.

[Shindig]

The league is largely tripping over itself.

[SvN]

Ah Jimmy, it's sad to see you on the ropes like this.

[Lewis]

Floyd on the ropes. Waffelz swinging from them. 'Tobias' somewhere pretending he isn't bothered.

[Gray Fox]

How are Liverpool and Brighton only 2 and 3 points ahead of this Chelsea side. I thought Chelsea would only be about 6/7 points ahead of 18th but they’re somehow still 10 points clear. There goes any fun relegation battles.

Because we're also comically shite.

Just wait til this weekend when we're down Nunez as well. 4-0 to Brighton at least.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I get more annoyed when we lose than I am pleased when we win. Must be age and the fact that I've worked out all the dynamics that underpin, say, Karen Carney not understanding anything but still having a national platform to gas while I'm watching the game.

[Waffdon]

Because we're also comically shite.

Just wait til this weekend when we're down Nunez as well. 4-0 to Brighton at least.

Easy bounce back game the following weekend

[phonics]

I get more annoyed when we lose than I am pleased when we win. Must be age and the fact that I've worked out all the dynamics that underpin, say, Karen Carney not understanding anything but still having a national platform to gas while I'm watching the game.

Nah, you've been slowly slipping into the Arsenal banter era for years. This is how it goes.

[Waffdon]

Arsenal aren’t current Champions of the World.

[Don]

Apologies to see Jimmy have to put out the fires that the know-nothing media-narrative-consuming mongs are starting all over the place after a poor result but it happens to the best of us champ. You just have to retain the belief and inner-strength to trust in the xG and you too will live to enjoy the tears/silence of the masses when the inevitable success arrives.

If Nunez is indeed out, I could be in line for another busy shift come Saturday 5pm. Starting to really resemble the 20/21 season with the entire season coming down to a KO tie against Real.

[John Arne]

I'm off to Vietnam v Thailand tonight the AFF final

Hopefully lots of red cards and goals.

[randomlegend]

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/football...ransformation/

"Tell them I'll fix this"

[Boydy]

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/football...ransformation/

"Tell them I'll fix this"

Paywall, dickhead.

[randomlegend]

That quote is the only bit you need.

[randomlegend]

Toggle Spoiler

As one goal after another flew in and Manchester United found themselves 4-0 down and humiliated at half-time at Brentford in August, there were more than a few people at the club worried as to whether Casemiro might have second thoughts about joining them.

The clear signals as far back as late June, when conversations with the Brazil midfielder’s representatives first began, were that he was eager to leave Real Madrid for United.

And that interest did not waver even as the weeks passed and the player waited patiently in the background while the club maintained their protracted pursuit of Frenkie de Jong.

But the Brentford defeat, coming only six days after an opening 2-1 loss at home to Brighton, was so bad that there were concerns in some quarters it might be enough to convince Casemiro to back away. They need not have worried.

Casemiro, it turned out, was watching from home in Madrid and began sending messages to his agent saying: “Tell them I’ll fix this”.

If anything, the debacle appeared only to deepen his desire to move to Old Trafford and this notion of Casemiro having become “fixated” on the transfer, as one source put it, was reaffirmed when a United delegation flew to Madrid a few days later to seal the deal.

Over dinner, Real officials revealed they were going to give Casemiro a final chance the next day to reconsider his position and stay. But the midfielder would make it clear his sights were set firmly on Manchester, leaving Madrid with little choice but to sanction a £60 million transfer.

To say Casemiro has made quite the impact since his move greatly downplays the influence he has wielded on and off the pitch. He is the world class holding midfielder United have been craving for over a decade and the fans have taken him to their hearts in much the same way as the player has the club, city and Premier League.

The likes of Casemiro and fellow summer signing Lisandro Martínez have been central to restoring that bond between players and supporters after the disconnect last season. That was probably never better encapsulated than at Stamford Bridge in October when Casemiro’s dramatic 94th minute equaliser sparked wild scenes of celebration. Now 30, the only disappointment for supporters is they have had to wait until this stage of Casemiro’s career to finally see a midfielder of that calibre in a red shirt.

It actually comes as a shock to hear some of Casemiro’s closest confidants claim he has “never been this comfortable or happy in his career”. He first gave thought to leaving Real in the wake of his fourth Champions League success four years ago, when still only 26, but was determined to pursue a new challenge if the opportunity presented itself after winning the trophy for a fifth time with Madrid in May.

United fans had to wait seven weeks for Casemiro to make his first Premier League start as manager Erik ten Hag eased him in gently – and were left screaming out for him as they watched their side get demolished 6-3 at the Etihad Stadium in early October. Suffice to say, Casemiro will be the first name on Ten Hag’s team-sheet when Manchester City visit Old Trafford in the return game on Saturday lunchtime.

With Casemiro anchoring the midfield, United’s full-backs Diogo Dalot and Luke Shaw have been liberated, and goalkeeper David de Gea and the two central defenders finally have the protection they craved. United are conceding 0.6 goals and 8.4 shots on average per game with Casemiro in the team as opposed to 1.5 goals and 11.5 shots per game when he is missing.

But he has also been fundamental to improving United as an attacking unit. Indeed, their fans have taken great delight in mocking the former Liverpool captain Graeme Souness who claimed, in the aftermath of Casemiro’s arrival, that the player has not got “any great range of passing” and he did not “see him making them any better when they have the ball”.

Maybe it is because Casemiro played alongside two of the great modern passers in Luka Modric and Toni Kroos at Real that his own passing was underestimated but it has transformed the way United play.

With Casemiro, United are averaging 64.1 passes into the final third per game compared to 51.3 without him and their open play crosses, possession and pass accuracy statistics all shoot up who dramatically when the Brazilian plays. Listening to the Old Trafford crowd roar its approval whenever Casemiro makes another raking pass has, sources said, left a huge impression on the player.

United’s recruitment team consulted Raphaël Varane about Casemiro as part of a robust due diligence process and the United centre-back’s immediate response about his former Real team-mate was unequivocal. “If you have the opportunity to get him, do everything you can to,” Varane said. The rest of the United squad were quick to realise why Varane was so effusive.

Casemiro is one of the first to arrive and last to leave training – he is often in early to have breakfast with De Gea and Bruno Fernandes – and exudes an aura of ultra professionalism and quiet authority. Team-mates regularly go to him for advice and have been struck by his thirst for the hectic English schedule and atmospheres in Premier League grounds.

He studies his opponents and their strengths and weaknesses in detail before games and is a huge football fan who will generally watch a game a day, which is surprisingly uncommon for modern day players. Some of the older academy players have been overwhelmed by the time he affords them. The Manchester United Foundation say much the same.

He has been having regular English lessons both inside and out the club and considers improving his grasp of the language his greatest urgency. That dedication is starting to pay off. Staff have been impressed by his knowledge of United’s history and, while he is a particular fan of Paul Scholes, he has enjoyed chatting about Eric Cantona and Roy Keane. Of all his current team-mates, Marcus Rashford is said to have stood out for him and he believes the England striker could become one of the world’s best.

Nor is he interested in complaints about the Manchester weather, reminding himself that his life now is far removed from the days when he was grateful just to have a roof over his head growing up in Sao Paulo.

United would have pushed the button sooner on Casemiro had Ten Hag not hung on as long as he did for De Jong. So long, in fact, that it was only in a big recruitment meeting in the days before the Brentford game that the decision was taken to finally abandon the pursuit of the Barcelona midfielder, park interest in the likes of Adrien Rabiot and land Casemiro.

United had been keeping Casemiro warm for over six weeks although it was made clear during that period that, if the purse strings had permitted it, the manager would have brought in both the Brazilian and De Jong. Real’s loss has most certainly been United’s gain.

Here's the full text anyway. Because I'm a top lad.

[Don]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/64250020

Gahahahahahahahaha

[Lofty]

They'll be after FM for showing player weights next.

[Don]

Some good support for the banning of heading at least, even if it's on the grounds that it messes up their salon hair-dos.

Napoli-Juve tonight

[Giggles]

The soft twat.

[Ben]

Benjamin Mendy not guilty.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Benjamin Mendy not guilty.

In all bar two counts.

Jury failed to reach a verdict on one count of rape and one of attempted rape so he's facing a retrial.

[Baz]

View Tweet

[Lewis]

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/football...ransformation/

"Tell them I'll fix this"

I was tearing up at that. Already the Toppest Red signing since 'RvP'.

[Manc]

Napoli-Juve tonight

Bang up for this. 10 point lead up for grabs.

[Don]

I would have been on that bandwagon but attacking flair football with the next Maradona is so 2022, it's all about the rebirth of catenaccio. 7 goals conceded in 17 games and Pogba still to return and take them to glory

[randomlegend]

I would have been on that bandwagon but attacking flair football with the next Maradona is so 2022, it's all about the rebirth of catenaccio. 7 goals conceded in 17 games and Pogba still to return and take them to glory

[Manc]

Napoli smelling blood here. Could be anything.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Napoli

[Don]

Incredible stuff, might have to book a trip to Naples sharpish having watched The Hand of God recently.

What's dildoboy on? When I say I want Juve to win that's out of support. When I say City are gonna creampie Utd and have you licking the residue off my hairy balls, that's football insight/heritage.

[Dquincy]

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Christ.

[-james-]

This should be a 3-0 Villa forfeit on account of Emery's coat.

[Don]

I don't want to suggest any old cunt could have predicted Gnonto was the truth and better than £150m Antony based purely off the size of his cock but...

[Ben]

That Georgian lad is pretty special.

[Alex]

I don't want to suggest any old cunt could have predicted Gnonto was the truth and better than £150m Antony based purely off the size of his cock but...

He looks some player. I've no idea how we managed to snag him, and for basically fuck all too. I think he was about 4 million quid.

[SincereTheRebel]

View Tweet

Christ.

This is wild

[Gray Fox]

View Tweet

Are they going to boo their way into the executive suite?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Haaland is going to look like a mug as we turn these pricks over.

[randomlegend]

Shaw centre back against Haaland is a bit

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Trust the process.

[Don]

That injury is costly given the highly classy Sunday league tactics of lob it in behind for the black lad to chase. Thankfully the squad depth is undoubted with £165m Antony raring to do some spins.

[SvN]

[niko_cee]

There's probably a case for United paying Taz some sort of retainer to keep this shit going.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Had to be that prick too.