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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #3401
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Turned the sound off for notifications on Teams.


  2. #3402
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    We've not got the full details yet but my work are apparently going to rotate who's on furlough, which I actually think is pretty fair so long as there are no other implications of that (I can't see any on the Government website but it may be me being dim.) Basically so that a) nobody's getting out of touch with not being at work for potentially months on end and b) so it doesn't feel like the furloughed staff are basically just being set up for redundancy. No idea if it's likely to affect me but I wouldn't feel so bad about it now. Assuming their reassurances count for anything of course.

  3. #3403
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Pretty sure they're allowed to do it as long as each period is minimum three weeks.

  4. #3404
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Yeah that was my understanding and despite some random articles saying it's a no go I couldn't find anything on the government website to contradict it.

  5. #3405
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    My team whatsapp group, which had been quite active in the initial stages of the furlough era, has now been completely silent for ten days. It's so awkward. I can't really reignite the chat as they're probably all bitter that I was the one kept on.
    Surely they're the lucky ones? Getting months off at 80% pay is a pretty sweet deal.

  6. #3406
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    Could you not take your office PC home? Even our company, with its 1970s working practices, arranged for people to take extra screens home or in one case even their whole setup.

    My team whatsapp group, which had been quite active in the initial stages of the furlough era, has now been completely silent for ten days. It's so awkward. I can't really reignite the chat as they're probably all bitter that I was the one kept on.
    Probably could have but the buildings now shutdown.

    I could plug it into my own monitor but I begrudge it. Will probably end up doing it, depending on how long this lasts.
    I'm a twit

  7. #3407
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    I've heard absolutely nothing from my new employers about the strategy for onboarding me. I start on the 1st.

  8. #3408
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    Surely they're the lucky ones? Getting months off at 80% pay is a pretty sweet deal.
    They obviously don't think so based on what they were saying. In particular one of the guys who's been here longer than me sounded very miffed about the fact that he went and I stayed.

    It's probably one of those situations where each party think they have it worse, but I'm pretty sure I actually do.

  9. #3409
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    One day I'm going balls deep on an office chair, specifically a Herman Miller and probably the Aeron Precision: https://www.wellworking.co.uk/chairs...FSYTwwodAgYA_Q

    The rule holds firm: spend on quality for shoes/sofas/chairs and beds - you're always in one of those things and it will fuck up your shit if you cheap out on something dreadful.

  10. #3410
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Work on your core and save the money. My 8-pack has no problems with these badboys:

    https://www.oakfurnituresuperstore.c...or:448;seats:2

  11. #3411
    Senior Member Andy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    Surely they're the lucky ones? Getting months off at 80% pay is a pretty sweet deal.
    Indeed, I'm living a pretty good life right now.

  12. #3412
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Don View Post
    Work on your core and save the money. My 8-pack has no problems with these badboys:

    https://www.oakfurnituresuperstore.c...or:448;seats:2
    8 pack

  13. #3413
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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    Surely they're the lucky ones? Getting months off at 80% pay is a pretty sweet deal.
    *nice weather summer months off...

  14. #3414
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    As soon as I get a week off, or even 2 days off, I am going to the hottest legally travellable place at that time and lying near a body of water all fucking day.

  15. #3415
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    Surely they're the lucky ones? Getting months off at 80% pay is a pretty sweet deal.
    100%. All I hear about is how I’m lucky I’m working and have something to do. Working on a laptop instead of a dual monitor set up in your bedroom is fucking awful.

    Gimme dat 80% pay. I’d still save more than I miss out on with no travel, paying for lunch and getting pissed every weekend.

  16. #3416
    Senior Member Josh's Avatar
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    Isn't it up to 2500 in the UK though? So if you earn over 37,500 you're actually going to be receiving less than 80% pay. I'm sure there's plenty of families in that situation where they're pretty fucked and they'd much rather be working.

  17. #3417
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Aye but I’m a lazy shit not earning that money. Fuck ‘em

  18. #3418
    Senior Member Andy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Josh View Post
    Isn't it up to 2500 in the UK though? So if you earn over 37,500 you're actually going to be receiving less than 80% pay. I'm sure there's plenty of families in that situation where they're pretty fucked and they'd much rather be working.
    Yeah, £2500 max. I think that's why they've bought in the mortgage and loan breaks etc.

    I'm getting £490 take home per week, if that was the sole income for a family it wouldnt go far if you had loads of outgoing or debt.

  19. #3419
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    The civil service position is that you can have a shit chair until you're crippled by it, and then they'll shell out about four grand for a special needs support chair and one of them jazzy standing desks. Where I work used to have an actual midget (before my time), and his lol little midget chair is still floating around the office. I used it for a day a while back, and because you have to support yourself on it rather than sludge into it, it would probably do people some good to use them.

  20. #3420
    Fuck like you cook.
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    I get 0% until the wankers change the dates on the JRS, just to rub salt in the wounds, I've discovered I won't even get UC until June as the payment I got on March 27th (all £440 of it!) means I've earned too much for UC.

    Or in simple terms, I have £10.85 in the bank and about £60 on me and this has to last until June 9th.

    Get fucked, Rishi.

    I'm hoping it will change as we are putting a lot of pressure on the treasury to sort it but the crafty bastards will no doubt make another change that makes zero change, some suggest as many as 400,000 to 500,000 in hospitality alone in the same position as me but some can't claim UC as partners still work etc. It doesn't help that the season literally starts from March to October so that's a lot of lost earnings.

    Add in that the public were told to stay away, then add in that we were closed down before lock down was even a thing, then add in that I'd worked nearly three weeks for new employer before the Job Retention Scheme was even a thing. Then add a small dose of Rishi saying he can't include everyone because fraud, hence the RTI date....let's forget the emails with employer, the signed contract, the wage slip and the fact it shows on my government tax thing...what more proof could one need?

    I'm at the point where I just think pfft, whatever but a career in crime might be the next step. Mellin v2.

  21. #3421
    Just Luca, but still a DJ Luca's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    I've heard absolutely nothing from my new employers about the strategy for onboarding me. I start on the 1st.
    I hear Amazon is hiring delivery drivers.

  22. #3422
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smjffy View Post
    I get 0% until the wankers change the dates on the JRS, just to rub salt in the wounds, I've discovered I won't even get UC until June as the payment I got on March 27th (all £440 of it!) means I've earned too much for UC.
    They've already changed it, why are you so sure they'll change it again? With the scheme now being live, I'll be surprised if they do backtrack and change the date again.

    If they change the date to be after the scheme was announced, it's going to open up a huge opportunity for fraud. I can't see it happening.

  23. #3423
    Fuck like you cook.
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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    They've already changed it, why are you so sure they'll change it again? With the scheme now being live, I'll be surprised if they do backtrack and change the date again.

    If they change the date to be after the scheme was announced, it's going to open up a huge opportunity for fraud. I can't see it happening.
    Because the change was bullshit and barely actually changed anything, only a small percentage benefited from it. Essentially anyone who started work after February 28th and got paid before 19th will be OK so if you were paid weekly you'd be fine but those paid monthly (pretty much most) are excluded.

    I am semi confident it will change or something else will be offered based purely on where we were when it started to where we are now. The first change wouldn't have happened had we not been campaigning for it, which is why so many of us know that the change was no change at all. Now we've had numerous MP's write to Rishi detailing why it's wrong, media have now been sniffing and the last week in particular we've seen a huge increase there as more and more find out that they aren't actually eligible. Thousands upon thousands of us have enough proof to show it's not fraud, signed contracts, payslips, correspondence etc. Hell, in my case I'm still living in staff accommodation as of right now.

  24. #3424
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    I don't know about it being bullshit, they estimate that it allowed an extra 200,000 people to claim, which feels significant to me. I hope for your sake they change it, but I'm doubtful.

  25. #3425
    Fuck like you cook.
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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    I don't know about it being bullshit, they estimate that it allowed an extra 200,000 people to claim, which feels significant to me. I hope for your sake they change it, but I'm doubtful.
    The 200,000 has already been proven not to be true as far as I recall and merely clarifies the rules as opposed to changing them. Technically I and many others like me are included in that 200,000 number but it simply isn't true as employers can't furlough me, last employer won't because they feel iffy about it (that was Rishi Sunak's suggestion...which sounds pretty fraudulent to me, the fucking irony! lol)

    I am optimistic by nature and for some reason we've attracted a good number of actual employers into the group recently, even my own asked only today to be added so I sense something might be brewing.

    I hope for my sake it is too or I might have to ask for a whip around come May.

  26. #3426
    I used to be funny.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    As soon as I get a week off, or even 2 days off, I am going to the hottest legally travellable place at that time and lying near a body of water all fucking day.
    I'll settle for London at this rate.

    Today was horrible at work. We have nothing and it drags more than usual.
    Last edited by Shindig; 22-04-2020 at 06:35 PM.

  27. #3427
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    As soon as I get a week off, or even 2 days off, I am going to the hottest legally travellable place at that time and lying near a body of water all fucking day.
    But a paddling pool.

  28. #3428
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    I'll settle for London at this rate.

    Today was horrible at work. We have nothing and it drags more than usual.
    You were frothing at the mouth to get back to work and now you’re complaining it’s quiet?

    I’m telling you these furlough folks are winning here (those getting 80% of their normal pay, not those who are on substantially more and getting fucked).

    I was in three different teams calls for 6/8 of my working hours today. Brutal.

    Reckon I’m average a packet of chocolate digestives every 2 days.

  29. #3429
    I used to be funny.
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    I've broken into a packet of Hobnobs. They'll not survive the rest of the week.

  30. #3430
    Fuck like you cook.
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    Standard McVities Hobnobs, home made honey comb then smother in white chocolate.

    Do it, Shinners. It's a completely different spin.

  31. #3431
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smjffy View Post
    Standard McVities Hobnobs, home made honey comb then smother in white chocolate.

    Do it, Shinners. It's a completely different spin.
    Yep, Shinners has always struck me as the sort of man who could make his own honeycomb but just didn't for whatever reason.

  32. #3432
    Fuck like you cook.
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    If only there was a website you could use where you could ask it a question and it provided an answer. "How do you make honeycomb?" That would be awesome.

  33. #3433
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    https://www.honeycomb.net/

    Well they were no help at all.

  34. #3434
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Unless you're a bee nobody is making homemade honeycomb.

  35. #3435
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Isn't it bees that make honeycomb? Or is the sugary shite inside a Crunchie also called that? I hardly eat sweet stuff.

  36. #3436
    I used to be funny.
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    Yep. Not a huge fan.

  37. #3437
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I tried to make honeycomb once. It's harder that you'd think. The cooking time difference between not done and burnt is about 0.0003 seconds.
    Last edited by Spikey M; 23-04-2020 at 07:20 AM.

  38. #3438
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Foe View Post
    You were frothing at the mouth to get back to work and now you’re complaining it’s quiet?

    I’m telling you these furlough folks are winning here (those getting 80% of their normal pay, not those who are on substantially more and getting fucked).

    I was in three different teams calls for 6/8 of my working hours today. Brutal.

    Reckon I’m average a packet of chocolate digestives every 2 days.
    This. The wife is on furlough and getting work topping up the remainder. She has had to become a 60s housewife but it's better than working.

    Yesterday was hellish for work, about 5 hours sat on calls. Fries your brain /5GMAST

  39. #3439
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    MD has been in the office this morning commenting how with 12 warehouse workers instead of 25, the figures suggest we are 'much more productive per person'.

    And so it begins.

  40. #3440
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    MD has been in the office this morning commenting how with 12 warehouse workers instead of 25, the figures suggest we are 'much more productive per person'.

    And so it begins.
    You should mention that also things are running smoothly with only 50% of the management team in too

  41. #3441
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Didn't the same thing happen after the banking crisis when all the big banks realised they made record profits after sacking half of their time-waster workforce? Or was that just on the back of having access to vast amounts of essentially free money to mark up and move on? Either way, they went back to rehiring eventually.

  42. #3442
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Our place has a weird obsession with chasing turnover/relative size in the marketplace as opposed to overall margin, so that will need more people to re-establish - although it does help that several of our biggest competitors are Italian, and also useless, if indeed those two things are to be treated separately.

  43. #3443
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Your deteriorating mental welfare has really lead to some tremendous writing

  44. #3444
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    But a paddling pool.
    If this is to be the future of leisure time then I can think of better uses for a hose pipe.

  45. #3445
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Too right.

  46. #3446
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    If this is to be the future of leisure time then I can think of better uses for a hose pipe.
    I can’t think of anything better. Maybe less neighbours.

  47. #3447
    I used to be funny.
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    I've pulled the trigger on working from home. The bosses seem to be really pushing for it, probably to prevent illness tearing through the office. Something tells me that'll be my life for the rest of the year.

  48. #3448
    Senior Member Andy's Avatar
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    My wife was told today unless something drastic happens they think she will be working from home for the rest of the year.

    Going to be a shock when she has to start getting up at 6 for a commute to London after 9+ months of getting up at 8.45 to start at 9.

  49. #3449
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I'd be surprised if there isn't a permanent widespread move towards significantly more working from home now (there would have been anyway, but much more gradual).

  50. #3450
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    I'd be surprised if there isn't a permanent widespread move towards significantly more working from home now (there would have been anyway, but much more gradual).
    I think in the short-term post corona it’ll have the opposite effect. It’s pretty horrendous and most people will be glad to just go somewhere

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