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Thread: Moderately funny things

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    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Moderately funny things

    British colloquialisms are usually pretty entertaining, but I discovered today that we call a flu shot in the US is a “flu jab” in the UK. “Make sure you get the flu jab!”, posters will say. Hearing that i just imagine a doctor walking up to a patient and poking him aggressively with his index finger. Got me laughing for a little bit.

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    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Whereas in America, a "flu shot" is likely to be administered with a rifle.

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    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I'm surprised it's not called a 'stabby arm drug', such is the US determination to name things in the most unnecessarily descriptive way possible.

    See also 'horse back riding' and 'side walk'.

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    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    And in England, one of the daily meals is named after a beverage.

    Imagine a “Think i’m gonna make a pizza for coffee tonight” coming from someone’s mouth. Its hilarious

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    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    You wouldn't see the doctor anyway, they've all got migraines.

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    Senior Member hfswjyr's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    I'm surprised it's not called a 'stabby arm drug', such is the US determination to name things in the most unnecessarily descriptive way possible.

    See also 'horse back riding' and 'side walk'.
    Never knew McIntyre browsed the forum.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wSw3IWRJa0

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    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hfswjyr View Post
    Never knew McIntyre browsed the forum.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wSw3IWRJa0
    Yeah, I didn't exactly think it was an underground reference that nobody would be able to pick up on.

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    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mugbull View Post
    And in England, one of the daily meals is named after a beverage.

    Imagine a “Think i’m gonna make a pizza for coffee tonight” coming from someone’s mouth. Its hilarious
    Only in northern pits.

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    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Generally US terms were developed later than ours so are more literal and descriptive. 'Autumn' and 'Fall' is a good example. See also things like the u in 'colour'. It doesn't need to be there, so the arch-capitalists bin it, but the word isn't the same without it.

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    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    I would easily king hit any Australian saying fall this month.

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    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Disco View Post
    You wouldn't see the doctor anyway, they've all got migraines.
    Being a reference

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    When one of my friends did a study abroad thing one of the things I found funny was it seems all of our signs are basically synonyms of each other.

    We have things like "Stay Off The Grass" and yours will say "Keep Away From Lawn" (not exactly but you get it).

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    Also wait is "tea" not like a snack between lunch and dinner? Is that just what you call dinner?!

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    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bruhnaldo View Post
    Also wait is "tea" not like a snack between lunch and dinner? Is that just what you call dinner?!
    Evening meal.

    Meat, spuds, veg etc = dinner (the rest of them here call that "a roast").
    Anything else = tea.

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    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Morning meal - breakfast
    Afternoon meal - Lunch
    Evening meal - dinner.

    Tea is a drink. 'A brew' is a process.

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    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Breakfast
    Elevenses
    Lunch
    Tea
    Dinner
    Supper

    In that order, regional differences excepted.

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    God damn your British humor and my continued inability to figure out which posts are serious and which aren't.

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    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    So far all three posts explaining tea have not been 100% true.

    Tea = anything you have has your evening meal.

    Breakfast
    Dinner
    Tea

    Anything in between is just called whatever you eat. It’s not a “snack” unless you’re a toddler. If you eat a packet of crisps at half past three in the afternoon, you have a “pack o crisps.” Not a snack.

    I suppose you can call anything you eat within an hour before going to bed, “supper,” but again it’s for kids really. You’re just devouring your body weight in Skittles with a cup of tea, it doesn’t need to be called supper as if to justify your actions.
    I'm a twit

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    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bruhnaldo View Post
    God damn your British humor and my continued inability to figure out which posts are serious and which aren't.
    Mine was neither British nor humour.

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    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    So far all three posts explaining tea have not been 100% true.

    Tea = anything you have has your evening meal.

    Breakfast
    Dinner
    Tea

    Anything in between is just called whatever you eat. It’s not a “snack” unless you’re a toddler. If you eat a packet of crisps at half past three in the afternoon, you have a “pack o crisps.” Not a snack.

    I suppose you can call anything you eat within an hour before going to bed, “supper,” but again it’s for kids really. You’re just devouring your body weight in Skittles with a cup of tea, it doesn’t need to be called supper as if to justify your actions.
    'This'.

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    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Dinner at lunchtime? Or do you eat at 8am, 5pm, and 7pm @Baz?

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    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Scumbags and northerners have 'dinner' for lunch, 'tea' as the evening meal and both of them are a bit earlier.

    Southerners and well brought up people like me have 'dinner' or more formally 'supper' or even more formally 'dinner' in the evening and it's later.

    Not really sure why that is, maybe working class people had to get up earlier to go down't'pit so everything is brought forward a bit.

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    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    This is far and away the shittest discussion we have on this board.

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    Are you fucking kidding me I'm wildly enthralled [/no sarcasm]

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    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Morning meal - breakfast
    Afternoon meal - Lunch
    Evening meal - dinner.

    Tea is a drink. 'A brew' is a process.
    I actually agree completely with Spikey for once.

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    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Come over for Lunner.

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    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    I grew up calling my evening meal "tea", but my wife dragged me from my working class roots up to middle class and it's now "dinner".

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    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Facts.

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    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    The black country should be separated from the rest of the West Midlands, it has entirely different rules.

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    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    That map does a better job of defining the North than you usually see (Cheshire being the awkward divided region, so lol at George Osborne).

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    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Fucking hell Devon, I blame second home owners.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    The black country should be separated from the rest of the West Midlands, it has entirely different rules.
    They tried this in America for awhile but thankfully it didn't really work out tbh.

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    Senior Member Alan Shearer The 2nd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    Generally US terms were developed later than ours so are more literal and descriptive. 'Autumn' and 'Fall' is a good example. See also things like the u in 'colour'. It doesn't need to be there, so the arch-capitalists bin it, but the word isn't the same without it.
    I have a special dislike for Asda not having the 'h' in yoghurt and that's before getting to the doughnut debacle.

  34. #34
    I used to be funny.
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    Bum bag. Fanny pack might as well be a sanitary towel.

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    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alan Shearer The 2nd View Post
    I have a special dislike for Asda not having the 'h' in yoghurt and that's before getting to the doughnut debacle.
    The word is derived from Turkish: yoğurt
    Sounds like you need to get over yourself

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    Senior Member Alan Shearer The 2nd's Avatar
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    Nah, fuck the yanks.

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    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    And the Turks.

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    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Mert has the worth of boast worlds

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    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Is that him speaking out his nose?

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    I used to be funny.
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    I think chips is probably an okay, descriptive term for crisps.

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    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    'Faucet' is the exception that proves the rule. Like, what the hell does that mean?

    'Hey buddy, what beers have you got on faucet?'

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    Who says it like that though? We say "on tap".

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    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Right, because it's a tap. So why do you call the actual thing a faucet?

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    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    So why can't you call a tap in a house a tap then?

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    Wow I just realized if I get water out of the kitchen faucet I'm drinking "tap water".

    If I get water from outside, like the water hose, for example I'm getting "tap water" from the "spigot".

    But we'd also say shit like "just get (water) from the tap" talking about the same exact shit.

    Apparently the longer I look at the word "tap" the less real it seems.

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    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    There is no tap.

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    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    "Bin" vs "trashcan" is another classic along Jimmy's lines. I could go on for days

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    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    I grew up calling my evening meal "tea", but my wife dragged me from my working class roots up to middle class and it's now "dinner".
    My parents call the evening meal tea sometimes and my dad also says 'dinner' when he's referring to lunch now and again. I would never say such a thing.

    Social mobility in action, baby.

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    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Elevenses
    Taking liberties @Disco

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