It's funny how English people are all well aware there's plenty of English people who make terrible English food, but we sort of assume that all people in other countries can make their local food well.Originally Posted by Pepe
Is this a British thing or does everywhere think the same?
They tend to have better native ingredients than we do, so it's harder to fuck up. This is also why our cuisine is crap, if indeed it is. Nothing of any flavour grows here. I've always thought this explains Empire more than any other factor.
As if these people aren't eating pure cooked in gutter oil shit day-to-day.
Sent an email to a client today basically telling them, as nicely as possible, that we didn't want to work with them anymore.
Hit send and within 2 minutes realised I'd called them completely the wrong name.
At least they wont to work with you any more as well.
There's some twat at my spot who uses a completely different name to his actual name and it always catches me out.
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Ffs
It'll be good to have our first TTH broken home. Well, the first that I know of.
Magic has that sewn up, surely.
Tragic won that race years ago Floyd.
I'm only counting homes that started off OK.
Look forward to these posts being used as evidence in the custody battle.
Mike's screenshot folder must be getting pretty full.
A few years ago in my old job I, by being a moron and replying in the wrong Teams conversation, inadvertently told a bloke in my team that he's a stupid, lazy bastard. Ironic to call him stupid while myself doing an idiotic thing, but there we go. Anyway, that was basically the end of it and because he has no self respect he continued to try being friends with me in work despite knowing I don't like him.
Today I get a message from a friend of mine who still works there:
I didn't realise I was MENTAL.My friend: Just sat in a call where [colleague] brought you up. Did you know you threatened to put him through the window of the old office?
Me:: What?
My friend: Yep. I'm surprised you don't remember as it was a face to face argument you had with him
The sexual tension must have been palpable.
Well, I've just made a mental note not to fuck with Ian.
I mean he lived to tell the tale so clearly I'm all mouth and no trousers.
Always knew that Ian was a bit too HBK.
I dunno what you’re talking about 🧐
No thanks!
I'm a twit
Switched to another new shift earlier in the month. Still part time, but they're using it as a sort of trial. I do a few more hours a week, but in fewer days. Essentially I'm in Mon-Wed on the full late shift and then off the rest of the week.
The difference it's made doing that is astounding. I've only done a few weeks of it, but it feels like an eternity between finishing Wednesday and starting the next week. I'm now nearly into single figures for days to work until Christmas too.
Condensed shifts are the absolute best, I'd do them again in a heartbeat.
Currently having a massive barney with the South African private equity vampires. They're demanding 20% growth this year (a ludicrous ambition), currently it's at 7% which isn't satisfying them. As such the sales director is getting massive bollockings every day and therefore appealing to us lowlings on how we can increase business, not in the future but right now. I said well the first thing you can do is standardise the European freight prices at a much more aggressive level - currently we calculate a profitable rate on each individual shipment, which pisses the customers right off because it's a) not competitive and b) unpredictable. Director asked me to build a new freight model for Europe to drive increased sales, so I did. It amounted to decreasing revenues by 1% on this sector of the business in order to encourage growth. They've come back and told me to build a new model that increases freight revenue rather than decreasing it.
How the fuck are you supposed to grow anything if you don't take any risks? Honestly if someone told me 1,000 accountants had suddenly died of a short illness I'd be sad, because it wouldn't be nearly enough.
Sell more products while also making them more expensive. How is that so hard to understand?
'Premium pricing' innit.
Just blame inflation like everyone else is.
How’s the new starter compared to Barney?
I'm a twit
She's pretty thick and is one of those people who has to informalise everything the whole time, like asking the managing director what he got up to at the weekend while he passes through the office, come on love, no one does that. Not completely useless at the job though, which is a relief.
You'd hate it at my wife's spot, she'd fit right in. Apparently some bint came in the other day and waited 2 hours to show her new baby to the MD because he was busy in meetings. The same calibre of people who buy him birthday presents
The kid might've been theirs.
She was already having one affair during the conception window so not impossible she was having another.
I submitted a Social Care referral yesterday and it turns out I described the tenant as erotic rather than erratic. Yay.
You’re worse than me
I'm a twit
Atleast we can go for a pint together after we've signed the sex offenders register.
I’ve managed back to back skive days out this week. Death by PowerPoint today, mixed in with idle chit chat with people I don’t see much, and then a conference tomorrow with many of the same people plus a few more. Might even go the pub for dinner.
I'm a twit
Our place was one that raked in the cash during the rona times, however even now, projection figures being used are based on then. As such we have staffed up(to great difficulty these days as they really are struggling for recruitment) levels to deal with that kind of work load. Quelle surprise, said workload has not arrived.
So through the last 4 weeks, in the first we were being begged to take unpaid/paid leave to go home early due to lack of work. Then I came in the week after and overtime was on all week(?) and then in the two weeks since it's pretty much been begging people to go home. A couple of those weeks had them asking on Wednesdays who wants the rest of the week off.
No idea what today brings yet, but I'm on a countdown to the 20th. 9 work days to go.
The Arab, disappointed perhaps that the Christmas decorations that have been going up around the office aren't themed entirely around him, has decided to blare out 'Jingle Bells' sung in Arabic from his office into the rest of the sales area, on loop.
It's going to be a long three weeks until Christmas.
Luckily for me, the place will be mostly empty for Christmas. Unluckily for me, that means covering for all those people that are off.
I'm just counting down the days until my fortnight off. Can't come quick enough.
Sounds like you need some Arabic Jingle Bells.
I've got to get through the company Christmas lunch/booze up yet, it's at what I would call a 'nice' pub down the road, all paid for by the company. Main course choices are: slow-cooked beef with truffle mash; turkey and the trimmings; duck leg confit; pan-fried sea bream; and the veggie option, harissa aubergine and baba ganoush. An excellent selection I would say, with something for every taste.
Needless to say apparently there have been complaints because the menu is 'too posh' and the complainants want steak or burger + chips. This country is in the gutter.
Just in case you think you're missing out:
I find this offensive to all races.
Get a belly dancer jiggling to that and you've got yourself a banging night.
My Indian mate played me some Christmas covers by Vindaloo Singh the other day.
What a lad.
The new woman is starting to annoy me now. Showed her earlier how to do an intermediate level task, something that takes about 5 minutes each time but needs a bit of clicking around and knowing what you're doing. She said 'Ahahaha I'm only doing 1 of those a day, bit mind-numbing!' How about you just do your job, moron.
The Arab lightened the mood by getting cologne on his linen suit (yes, he's wearing a linen suit in December), then picking up a bottle that said DEEP CLEAN and spraying it all over the jacket to try and get it off. Obviously it was a cleaning spray for hard surfaces, not clothing. Now he has a huge blotch on his £400 suit. You can tell he's a man who's grown up with a maid in the house.
Bit harsh on his mother(s).
Next time they’re recruiting you should volunteer to be on the interview panel so you can pick a good one. My new starter is basically my BFF after 11 weeks. Chat all day on Teams/calls and then message most evenings. Probably helps that she’s nice to look atbut I had a similar friendship with a (male) colleague previously, albeit less intense, so our relationship isn’t purely driven by lust. Absolutely smashing her job too. Still can’t spell, but I’ve got her a dictionary for Christmas.
I'm a twit
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