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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #6001
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Yeah if you've got a dickhead of an employer that must be the best feeling going.

    I wouldn't have the balls to do it without another job to go to or the money to fall back on though.

  2. #6002
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    This is it. It must be pure euphoria. Big Vinnie Mac Grapefruit walking stuff... until you get to the car and realise what you've actually done.

  3. #6003
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    There are jobs growing on trees according to the news.

  4. #6004
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Is he the sort who will have done that or will he just get more and more bold as people point out this may have been as idiotic as it was cathartic?

  5. #6005
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    It's pretty out of character for him, so the trigger will have been pretty major (or there were one too many straws between the proverbial camels humps).

    I'm waiting for him to get back to me on what happened, but he's probably busy getting his arse handed to him at home / 5 pints deep at 'spoons.

  6. #6006
    I used to be funny.
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    Drowning in a sea of emails at the minute. I’d love to walk off like that.

  7. #6007
    Fuck like you cook.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smjffy View Post
    Well....

    What a difference a few weeks make. I came home on Friday for a week and today I went for a interview for a place opening in my home town mid-November, six figure investment which is nice and a brand new kitchen. They've only gone and offered me the gig. :huh:
    I said no and took up a different position back in the area. I'm now a breakfast chef. 6.30am til 2.30pm, £24,000 a year. I did my first day today but I've only taken it because of the amount of free time I'll have. I even get Saturday and Sunday's off. WTF.

    4 star hotel so it is a little different to what I've been doing but the hours and pay made it pretty hard to turn down tbh. I just need to make sure I get my head down early enough!

  8. #6008
    Just Luca, but still a DJ Luca's Avatar
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    Manning garde manger for the breakfast buffet of a hotel was the best job I've ever had. Spent my days powering through kilos of fruit for fruit salad, laying out cheese and cold cuts, arranging the cold pastries, prepping bacon and french toast (OK, that's not really garde work, but neither of those things were done to order), etc. Nobody bothered me unless it was Chef showing me something neat. Bliss.

  9. #6009
    Fuck like you cook.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Luca View Post
    Manning garde manger for the breakfast buffet of a hotel was the best job I've ever had. Spent my days powering through kilos of fruit for fruit salad, laying out cheese and cold cuts, arranging the cold pastries, prepping bacon and french toast (OK, that's not really garde work, but neither of those things were done to order), etc. Nobody bothered me unless it was Chef showing me something neat. Bliss.
    That's pretty much all there has been to it as well tbh. Almost to a T.

    It's difficult getting up at 5.30am but finishing at 2.30/3pm on a daily basis feels wonderful especially given the summer that I had.It has two AA rosettes so it is a little bit of a step up in standards but I've enjoyed the first few days.

    It almost feel like a part time job. The accommodation is pretty swish too which makes a change as most staff houses are doss holes.

  10. #6010
    I used to be funny.
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    Leaving work whilst the sun's still up.

  11. #6011
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I’ve worked all my stuff bang on this week that I’m rolling in home around 3pm. Friday is the only one could turn into a handling.

  12. #6012
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smjffy View Post
    That's pretty much all there has been to it as well tbh. Almost to a T.

    It's difficult getting up at 5.30am but finishing at 2.30/3pm on a daily basis feels wonderful especially given the summer that I had.It has two AA rosettes so it is a little bit of a step up in standards but I've enjoyed the first few days.

    It almost feel like a part time job. The accommodation is pretty swish too which makes a change as most staff houses are doss holes.
    Do you want to point out to @Jimmy that you're making 80% of what he does without factoring in accommodation?

  13. #6013
    I used to be funny.
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    I was gonna say I make that much sitting down but it seemed like a dick move. Has Jimmy ever been on TV though?

  14. #6014
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    I tell a cat and mouse what to do.

  15. #6015
    I used to be funny.
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    "You lads should really consider opening a current account with us."

  16. #6016
    Fuck like you cook.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Panda Bear View Post
    Do you want to point out to @Jimmy that you're making 80% of what he does without factoring in accommodation?
    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    I was gonna say I make that much sitting down but it seemed like a dick move. Has Jimmy ever been on TV though?
    Am I missing something chaps because this has gone right over my head.

  17. #6017
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Mine too. I couldn't hack your job in a million years, I'd last a day if that.

  18. #6018
    Fuck like you cook.
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    It's as easy/difficult as you make it.

    Three words. Mise en place.

    I found the biggest struggle this summer besides being on my own for much of it was a few other places closing early due to being short staffed so a busy day could turn into a manic day without much warning. Essentially though, it's food. I think my time working in MH prepared me for the pressures of a kitchen and its probably why I'm so calm. I found the paperwork and ordering the right stuff to be the biggest ballaches.

  19. #6019
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    One of you feels like they're living the dream, and the other is subject to continued misery and frustration.

  20. #6020
    Just Luca, but still a DJ Luca's Avatar
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    And then you die. The end.

  21. #6021
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Pictures of the double rosette breakfasts when you have time please, Smiff.

  22. #6022
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    A breakfast is a breakfast.

    Had one at the Hand and Flowers which had some extra thick bacon thing, but, in essence it was a breakfast. In many ways the greasy spoon classic [with chips, of course] was probably superior.

  23. #6023
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    First time doing the MK to work commute which involves the addition of a 40 minute tube journey since moving offices during lockdown. Had to get up at 6.30am to make a 9am call. Fuck every last one of you soft cunts who decided to get jabbed.

  24. #6024
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    There was me thinking my 6am start to get in for 7:30am was soul destroying.

  25. #6025
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Don View Post
    First time doing the MK to work commute which involves the addition of a 40 minute tube journey since moving offices during lockdown. Had to get up at 6.30am to make a 9am call. Fuck every last one of you soft cunts who decided to get jabbed.
    That’s in poor taste.

  26. #6026
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    He wouldn't know.

  27. #6027
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  28. #6028
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Well played niko

    Final two days as a UK employee this week.

  29. #6029
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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  30. #6030
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    44 new emails this morning, most of them from Guatemala. Fucking brutal.

    Add to that I've been summoned for 'a chat' with the vice chairman later on, a man who includes 'MBE' after his name on his outlook profile.

  31. #6031
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    He wouldn't know.

  32. #6032
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    44 new emails this morning, most of them from Guatemala. Fucking brutal.

    Add to that I've been summoned for 'a chat' with the vice chairman later on, a man who includes 'MBE' after his name on his outlook profile.
    “How do you feel about Chile?”

  33. #6033
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Not been the same since Salas and Zamorano.

  34. #6034
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    You lot are fannies, prior to Covid I was on the 0554 to Manchester Monday to Friday. The 6.30am alarm for working from home is luxurious by comparison.

  35. #6035
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    I have to leave the house by 8.45 to get in by 9.

  36. #6036
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    I roll out of bed at quarter to 9.

  37. #6037
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Fire alarm and an hour long evacuation and Nothing on Too Good To Go so another pathetic £9 Greek Wrap which has barely touched the sides.

    Drinks with the mandem scheduled for 3pm though, let's see if Thirsty Thursdays can still deliver post-lockdown.

  38. #6038
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lofty View Post
    Pictures of the double rosette breakfasts when you have time please, Smiff.
    You're not missing much, Lofty. I think the breakfasts I was offering up before here were better. I mean, no hash browns? Unforgivable.

  39. #6039
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    The new Arab has actually been alright so far, but we have run into a big problem. When the British customers phone up, and he answers the phone in his accent, they either seethe and ask for my soothing tones, or just put the phone down.

    There's no real way round it. The British working man doesn't like foreigners and won't change for no one.

  40. #6040
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    We had a guy with a very Indian name a few years ago, and it shocked me how many people assumed he was cheap labour that we outsourced to.

  41. #6041
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    It's the same about how people reply to emails when they think it is a woman vs a man by all accounts.

  42. #6042
    I used to be funny.
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    I've seen plenty of that this week. It gets amplified when our assessors are largely exotic people with exotic names.

  43. #6043
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    We got to meet our new boss today, who said that they will be working a few days from home because they're disabled. Right. Turns out they 'live with dyslexia'. When did that get promoted to disability?

  44. #6044
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Must be tough being him. My sympathies.

  45. #6045
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Get out of the public sector while you still can.

  46. #6046
    I used to be funny.
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    I bet Lewis can't wait to spell check his emails.

  47. #6047
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    It's a woman, and they have come in from the Welsh health service specifically to sort some MAJOR PROJECT the last idiot timed their retirement to avoid doing. That sentence gets worse as it goes along.

  48. #6048
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    It's a woman
    Then it is all going to be ok.

  49. #6049
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    We got to meet our new boss today, who said that they will be working a few days from home because they're disabled. Right. Turns out they 'live with dyslexia'. When did that get promoted to disability?
    this is stellar work on their behalf, and you should be commending their ingenuity. surely you would do the same if you were (dis)able.

  50. #6050
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    Get out of the public sector while you still can.
    Get a load of this mug.

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