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Thread: The All New, All Shit, Relationship Thread

  1. #3851
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I imagine all squids to be a bit damp.

  2. #3852
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Oops! No wet squids or squibs last night, it was quality. I think I'm in love.

  3. #3853
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Damp, rather. My brain has been melted by lust.

  4. #3854
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    She must be seriously fit
    I'm a twit

  5. #3855
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I think I once read a short story about someone who used a damp squid as a substitute vagina while masturbating. Might have been another of those pesky fever dreams.

  6. #3856
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Not a whole one presumably.

  7. #3857
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    I think I once read a short story about someone who used a damp squid as a substitute vagina while masturbating. Might have been another of those pesky fever dreams.
    Jar of liver.

  8. #3858
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    Damp, very important your squid is damp

  9. #3859
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Wet if possible. Just like my women. OI OI!

  10. #3860
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    Almost broke up with my girlfriend of four years yesterday. Was quite an upsetting experience really, her basically being in complete shock didn't really help. We decided to give it a bit longer to see if I change my mind but that just means we're in a really awkward phase at the moment. We live together so not really sure what's going to happen.

    Part of why we agreed to try a bit longer is I couldn't really express my reasons for trying to break up. Said stuff about having been in relationships since 17, wanting to just be on my own/independent (although her Qs as to what that would substantively involve were valid Qs) and no longer being as committed to the relationship as she is. None seemed to really be convincing, although perhaps that was because she was in shock and needs time to process stuff.

    Break-ups are shit.

  11. #3861
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    You don't need to provide a reason to break up. Staying together because you couldn't verbalise your feelings in that moment is a ridiculous concept.

  12. #3862
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    I don't think it'll really be an amicable break-up without being able to express those reasons and giving her time to process it; and in doing the latter hopefully the former will become clearer. But if they don't then, yeah, it won't by itself be a reason to stay together permanently. Saying that, it is a little concerning not being able to aritculate the why for such a big decision but that's perhaps me just looking too logically at a largely emotional decision.

  13. #3863
    I used to be funny.
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    At the same time, if you're going to split up you should know why you're doing it. Even if it is just, "I'm getting kind of bored by it." or whatever.

  14. #3864
    Senior Member Mazuuurk's Avatar
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    This sounds like a classic "I just wanna fuck around a bit and I'm bored with you now" thing.

    The "having been in a relationship since..." line is basically sweet talk for I wanna just be single and do what I want.


    Regardless, what SvN is saying is kinda true but not the full story obviously since after 4 years you (hopefully and unless you're Magic) care enough for the person to want it to end in a way that's as good for them as possible.

    Just don't do the thing where you start acting like a shite to get her to not want you as much (it doesn't work, and it just taints your image in her and possibly others' eyes). If you're serious about contemplating it, it's better to take a proper break and move apart and decide not to see each other for like 3 months, and then see where you stand. But honestly sounds like you've made up your mind already and in that case it's probably better to cut the umbilical and do it. She's gonna be sad regardless, so nothing you say will change that, it's just more about how you leave it.

  15. #3865
    Senior Member wullie's Avatar
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    Once you're at that point where you are considering breaking up I don't get how people can ever get past it and get back to normal, I'd have thought the relationship itself is dead man walking from then on.

  16. #3866
    Senior Member Spoonsky's Avatar
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    I'm away from my girlfriend for two months over the summer (we're going to travel together in July), and it's a bit shit. No idea how people manage long-distance relationships full time.

  17. #3867
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Awww

    I feel you though. Get yourself a fleshlight

  18. #3868
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Is it weird that I feel like I know everything about Spoons' life but not know him at all?

    Like I'm some weird distant Dad thats not really allowed to attend most of the major events in his life and the social events I am invited too I didn't bother showing up. Just get to see him throwing a graduation cap in the air on Facebook etc.

    What I'm trying to say is, I'm proud of you son.

  19. #3869
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    I've been single since 2013 and it would take a lot to give up on that. Maybe I've just met the wrong women but being in a relationship is rubz.

  20. #3870
    heavy like led Dark Soldier's Avatar
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    I've not had sex in three years lads, had the chances but literally cannot be arsed. Its been wonderful, no crazy shit, doing what I wanna do. Life is good.

    EDIT: Forgot about that drunken thing with some sket about a year ago, so once in three years. Absolute whore of a man.

  21. #3871
    Senior Member Pleb's Avatar
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    I'm still single.

  22. #3872
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dark Soldier View Post
    I've not had sex in three years lads, had the chances but literally cannot be arsed. Its been wonderful, no crazy shit, doing what I wanna do. Life is good.

    EDIT: Forgot about that drunken thing with some sket about a year ago, so once in three years. Absolute whore of a man.
    Not even throated a trannie or two?

  23. #3873
    heavy like led Dark Soldier's Avatar
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    Absolutely nothing mate. Genuinely think I'd be the type happy to get a prossie a month in the future and sack it all off.

  24. #3874
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dark Soldier View Post
    Absolutely nothing mate. Genuinely think I'd be the type happy to get a prossie a month in the future and sack it all off.
    I always thought to myself, this is the much cheaper option with less headache lad.

  25. #3875
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I think Sincere is offering to put lipstick around his arsehole for you DS.

  26. #3876
    heavy like led Dark Soldier's Avatar
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    I'll make the man's ass moist

  27. #3877
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    Got married on Saturday. Pretty cool so far.

    In Hawai'i for the honeymoon. Pretty nice so far.

  28. #3878
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Congratulations.

  29. #3879
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    Went to the Honolulu Zoo on a whim.

    Saw a baboon with a bright red boner that grew when children came over.

  30. #3880
    Senior Member Mazuuurk's Avatar
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    Don't talk about your wife like that

  31. #3881
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Posting on here while on your honeymoon smells like disaster lad. Put the device down

  32. #3882
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    Early days, but looks like baby number two is on the way. Which is nice.

  33. #3883
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    I'm all for free love and having fun but the girl i was seeing last summer (and had spoken about rekindling our fling with this summer) has spent the year studying in italy. I knew she was ...."having a good time", but she's literally sent me a photo with three italian cocks in her mouth. Is it prudish of me to feel somewhat less excited about the prospect of banging her again?

    Either way i'm demanding an up to date all clear from the gum clinic.

  34. #3884
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Three at once? I hope they said no homo.

    Come at it from the other perspective and get excited about the absolute filth she's clearly down for.

  35. #3885
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Congratulations Panda.

  36. #3886
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Congrats Igor.

  37. #3887
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by igor_balis View Post
    I'm all for free love and having fun but the girl i was seeing last summer (and had spoken about rekindling our fling with this summer) has spent the year studying in italy. I knew she was ...."having a good time", but she's literally sent me a photo with three italian cocks in her mouth. Is it prudish of me to feel somewhat less excited about the prospect of banging her again?

    Either way i'm demanding an up to date all clear from the gum clinic.
    PM.

    Congrats to other normal people above.

  38. #3888
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Get the ring bought Igor.

  39. #3889
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    She’s probably had 3 of them on her tongue as well.

  40. #3890
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Yeah share that pic!
    I'm a twit

  41. #3891
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I lol'd and shared it with a gay friend of mine who said 'good on her'. Take that as you will.

  42. #3892
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Go on then

  43. #3893
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Share it lad.

  44. #3894
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Panda Bear View Post
    Got married on Saturday. Pretty cool so far.

    In Hawai'i for the honeymoon. Pretty nice so far.

  45. #3895
    Senior Member Mazuuurk's Avatar
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    WTF

    PM, igor.

  46. #3896
    I used to be funny.
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    "I'm sure he won't mind this. He's probably forgot about me as well." <send>

  47. #3897
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Are we all picturing some hot slut drowning in sexy Italian peni?

    She's probably a fat munter slobering on 3 Tony Sopranos. I mean look at Igy.

  48. #3898
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    I had a weird experience with my partner last week. Still going strong so nothing major.

    We pay the rent for her family house which I'm fine withbas she was doing it before I came on the scene. Expensive but it is what it is. Last week her mum got ill but chose not to worry her daughter but got ill to the extent we had to put her into a private hospital which came at a price. Then I'm being told we have to send more to make sure she gets treated right, backhanded type stuff. So now I'm getting irate as a) it's getting stupid financially and b) it fkies in the face of why youd become a Dr, surely?

    The whole thing has rubbed me up the wrong way. My Mrs has explained it and she hates it too but what can you do. Anyhow, her ma is late 70's and the events have found that she's diabetic and cataracts, this same woman looks after her sister who's a few years older.

    It's just not a situation I would know what to do with. Family is family so I get it but I don't know how to act about it. I want to help like I am but at the same time I know enough to know that a 70+ year old woman is only going to get worse not better.

    Any ideas gents?

  49. #3899
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Not much you can do lad. The moment you make a claim against not supporting her and her family financially, that sounds like the end of your relationship. Its not like she is asking you to pay for her cars, its her mother.

  50. #3900
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    I'm not going to stop helping her in that respect bud where do you draw the line? Obviously other factors are at play too which only further my confusion.

    Her brother for example. He asked for £300 but when my partner chased it up with her ex husband who sorted the private clinic out for us it turned out to be bs.

    I'm just legit confused as I don't know the culture, I know her brother is a big of a rogue un and I don't want it to interfere in what really is still something wonderful.

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