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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #301
    I used to be funny.
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    My job is completely fucked and there is nothing that can fix it.

  2. #302
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    I'm currently trying to understand what the fuck fracking is all about.

    Probs find out if I still have a job this week too. Third time I've had that conversation in 4 years. Sweet job security.

  3. #303
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    My job is completely fucked and there is nothing that can fix it.
    Hi Amber.

  4. #304
    I used to be funny.
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    I mean, we probably both blame David Cameron to some degree ...

  5. #305
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Bit underwhelmed by my CAREER CHANGE at the moment. Nothing has changed, we still have no info and the cunt head of sales, apart from offering an initial meeting (which we couldn't attend due to existing commitments) hasn't even acknowledged it, apart from a pathetic two sentence 'ANNOUNCEMENT' on YAMMER that was quite frankly embarrassing and produced a ton of questions.

    So...that was 10 working days ago...and here we are. The good news is I guess they are now recruiting for our replacements. Sigh.

    EDIT: It wasn't even an announcement because the dim, selfish cunt doesn't know how to use it, he merely posted it as a comment under Sales. TWAT.
    Last edited by Magic; 01-05-2018 at 03:06 PM.

  6. #306
    Senior Member wullie's Avatar
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    Oh Jesus, fucking Yammer. The latest in our conveyor belt of Lync, Skype for Business, Slack, Pidgin and all the other bollocks the department have pushed in the hope it will get IT people synergising up the social flagpole.

  7. #307
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wullie View Post
    Oh Jesus, fucking Yammer. The latest in our conveyor belt of Lync, Skype for Business, Slack, Pidgin and all the other bollocks the department have pushed in the hope it will get IT people synergising up the social flagpole.
    We use SfB (it integrates with our Telephony) and YAMMER. I don't mind it really. You really have to buy in to the company side of things, if you don't you'll absolutely loathe it.

  8. #308
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    I get an email every Sunday from Yammer but I’ve no idea what it is. Some corporate bullshit? I’m so far down the ladder I swear it’s not intended for me.
    I'm a twit

  9. #309
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    We've had yammer for about 18 months maybe. I've ignored it for 18 months.

  10. #310
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I tried to get us using Slack or the G Suite version of Hangouts in work but they're still woefully old fashioned. Three of the eight of them can't even get their email syncing on their phones.

  11. #311
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I lied about not being able to sync my email to my phone for 18 months.

  12. #312
    I used to be funny.
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    We have a fake facebook nobody uses. Second day on the phones has gone alright. Being on the late shift, we only do it for a few hours before .... y'know, doing the stuff we're actually paid for. And most of the time nobody picks up.

  13. #313
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    The Koreans had their own one of those things called tok tok or something. Absolutely dire. Head office wanted you to use it, in the same way 20 years ago they wanted fridges to know when you were low on bread, but it didn't catch on.

    Anyway, some nice DRAMA at work of late. When I was hired in February, I replaced (and initially shadowed) a guy (let's call him Derek) who had more specialist engine knowledge, but had been planted in Sales for a few months until an opening came up in R&D. So this happens, he swans off to the other side of the building to join R&D, I replace him in Sales, and everyone's happy. Or are they? Two weeks ago, he starts a prolonged bout of absence, first of all with his daughter supposedly being sick, and then with he himself being sick for the whole of last week. On Friday, whispers begin around my colleagues, I tag that something is going on regarding my predecessor, and then on the way out of work I spot him lurking in the car park in his Clio.

    Sure enough, this morning an email comes round from the boss saying simply 'Please note that Derek is no longer employed by the company.' One sentence. No one says anything, so I just shrug and carry on, before on the way out at 5, my nearest colleague says 'Did you know what was going on with Derek?' I said no, and he says 'I'm not at liberty to say, but he was pushed.'

    Can't get my head around how you start a new job internally, go off sick for 10 days, and then seemingly get fired.

  14. #314
    I used to be funny.
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    Potentially exciting development, Jimmy. One of the guys I know over in another corner of the internet had a bizarre, hastily arranged interview with a Korean woman. I'm crossing my fingers that it's for your old haunt.

  15. #315
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    Quote Originally Posted by wullie View Post
    Oh Jesus, fucking Yammer. The latest in our conveyor belt of Lync, Skype for Business, Slack, Pidgin and all the other bollocks the department have pushed in the hope it will get IT people synergising up the social flagpole.
    Yep, that pushed that shit at our place about 6 month back. Outlook rule to send any email with Yammer in it to deleted was installed 2 days later.

  16. #316
    Senior Member Pleb's Avatar
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    The ASDA/Sainsburys merge has everyone seething in the store where I work.

  17. #317
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    Work is great the moment. Got my trainee taking a load of my lessons, so I either sit in the room and mark books or formally observe (once a week) or go and sit in the office across the corridor and work. I'm so productive at the moment that I don't feel like a constant bag of stress. Which is nice.

  18. #318
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    So, Jimmy’s getting murdered then. Chin up Magic, could be worse.

  19. #319
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    Potentially exciting development, Jimmy. One of the guys I know over in another corner of the internet had a bizarre, hastily arranged interview with a Korean woman. I'm crossing my fingers that it's for your old haunt.
    Koreans didn't even interview me for that gig. Just got a phone call telling me to start on Monday.

  20. #320
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Some recruiter gimp was trying to sell me a job in Newbury yesterday. The company actually sounded alright and quite interesting but when I actually looked into the possible commute from London I realised it would be a fucking nightmare. I emailed him today to tell him not to bother (in a very civil and apologetic manner) and he never bothered replying. Huffy little twat.

  21. #321
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    A recruiter once refused to put me forward for a job with a company who do unexploded ordnance surveys because the job advert listed a 'degree in History (preferably Military History)' as one of the requirements.

  22. #322
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Yeah, most of them are pretty thick too.

  23. #323
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Hateful day today in my absolute least favourite customer. Already drove 2 hours to be here for their induction that has to be done every 2 months and I guarantee with all the other red tape and bullshit I won't do anything resembling the actual job til at least 11am.

  24. #324
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Booked today and tomorrow off

  25. #325
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    It was every bit as shit as I expected, and a whole lot more. They've a new upstart.

  26. #326
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    Had an eleven year old tell my trainee that she 'had aids' and should 'go and fucking kill herself' yesterday. Kids got problems but fuck me. Another kid - "are you going to cry, miss?". Jokes on him though as he fucking bawled his eyes out when his head of year bollocked him. Aids kid has a days exclusion. I might live in a bubble but I've never had a kid speak to me like that before.

  27. #327
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Recruitment as an industry is on borrowed time, I reckon. Surely there's a better way?

  28. #328
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    Recruitment as an industry is on borrowed time, I reckon. Surely there's a better way?
    Here's hoping. It's mostly just keyword matching (badly).

    Things like Hired are interesting, but Linked In still seems to be the best way to get spotted/find people.

  29. #329
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I have never had a positive encounter with an agency. Seemingly the only skills required for the job are being self confident whilst also being a bit thick.

  30. #330
    I used to be funny.
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    On the contrary, I'd probably have been unemployed a lot longer (Christ!) if it wasn't for agencies. All but one of my jobs have come from them.

    One week down on the phones. It's not as bad as I was expecting. Most of the people that do pick up take the appointments we offer and, at the end of it all, we're not pushing them to accept it. Meanwhile, our backlog has exploded.

  31. #331
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Got some phone interview tomorrow. No idea what to expect other than it'll last about half an hour.

  32. #332
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    Already sick of pulling double duty. Such a stupid call by management to pull dozens off our work to handle phone calls all day. And then to apparently solve our backlog with a bunch of already overworked guys in Glasgow. Restructuring the benefits system is the worst legacy this government will have.

  33. #333
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Got the new John Deere parts catalogue today. Best day of my professional life.

  34. #334
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Nightmare few days. I made the mistake of checking emails over the long weekend which had me feeling suicidal yesterday.

  35. #335
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I've to go to Bulgaria next month for 2 days but the bossman paying for the Mrs and an extra 3 days. Tidy.

  36. #336
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I spent a whole day video editing and then at 17:45 it crashed and corrupted the project. Now I have to go in on my day off.

  37. #337
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    I feel like a tit if I lose an hour's progress in a game due to not having saved. You must feel like a howling arsehole.

  38. #338
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I'm going to assume if it's been a whole day then the program didn't have a save button. Hopefully that's the reason at least.

  39. #339
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    In my final year at Uni I emailed myself an essay I’d been working on at home, so I could work on it at the Library. 3 hours work. Hit save, rather than save as and lost the fucking lot. I could have Columbined the place.

  40. #340
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I didn't realize 'corrupted the project' was such a high level term. A bunch of updates for CC went out recently so I guess I'll have to turn rolling saves back on which is a bit tedious.

  41. #341
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    I've had a PSD corrupt once when Photoshop crashed when it was saving. Lost about 6 hours of design work that had to be done by the end of the day.

    I now work within a Dropbox folder so I can restore older versions if needed.

  42. #342
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Got some phone interview tomorrow. No idea what to expect other than it'll last about half an hour.
    He emailed me ten minutes before saying he was stuck in a meeting and asked to reschedule.

    That recruiter that tried to sell me the job in Newbury came back to me yesterday with something actually in London. It's consulting though, not sure I'm keen on the idea.

  43. #343
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I don't know how you could put up with London. Stick to Newbury.

  44. #344
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    At least I know some people in London. I'd probably just develop an in-person gambling addiction if I lived in Newbury.

  45. #345
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    You could come on a meet then.

  46. #346
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    I deployed an enterprise WiFi solution at work, replacing some ancient Apple Airports.

    Now it's transpired the guest network has kept disconnecting clients and not one cunt said a thing to me, but have been bitching about it not working. Arseholes.

  47. #347
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    I received a phone call in work yesterday which sounded iffy at first. Someone from Gabon wanted to speak to me. Not knowing anyone from Gabon I assumed it was a cold call and prepared to unleash a volley of abuse for calling me at work....

    Until it turned out to be nothing of the sort. The new lass just mispronounced our head office. Anyways...much to my surprise, I've been recognised as a "Star of the future" and offered a place on a course to complete an Apprentice Standard Chef de Partie Level 3 (equivalent 2 x A Levels). The whole thing has overwhelmed me if I'm honest, just the pdf telling me what to expect has given me nightmares.

    We meet in Monday at 9am and I'm nervous to fuck.

  48. #348
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    It's a good thing they never saw your 'Cooking with Tim' video.

  49. #349
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I thought that was a Giggles post at first and was about to claim that there was no fucking way he would ever be declared the Chef De Party Star Of The Future without knocking someone out.

  50. #350
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    You say that but one of the people tomorrow has seen it already and he's a chef/director. He helped out over a tricky Christmas period.

    I am legit worried though because I don't really know what I'm meant to say or why it warrants meeting up.

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