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Thread: Things you are in the top/bottom 1% of

  1. #51
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Have I told you lads about my turbo-spunk?
    Your illegitimate seed.

  2. #52
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    Wouldn't that mean anyone answering the question is boasting?
    If you’re claiming to be in the top 1% of the world population at something, it’s boasting.
    I'm a twit

  3. #53
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    We need more bottoms to even the thread out.

    I'm in the bottom 1% of Steve Bruce fans.

  4. #54
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    If you’re claiming to be in the top 1% of the world population at something, it’s boasting.
    Baz firmly in the bottom 1% of knowing what words mean.

  5. #55
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Offshore Toon View Post
    We need more bottoms to even the thread out.

    I'm in the bottom 1% of Steve Bruce fans.
    I'm absolutely terrible at swimming but probably more like bottom 10%.

  6. #56
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    I'm absolutely terrible at swimming but probably more like bottom 10%.
    What about people who can't swim you boasting cunt.

  7. #57
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    I'm absolutely terrible at swimming but probably more like bottom 10%.
    Racist.

  8. #58
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    That's got to be a ban surely.

  9. #59
    Fuck like you cook.
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    I can swim for miles in a pool, I can't swim in the sea because I'm petrified of it.

    I think I watched Jaws at an impressionable age.

  10. #60
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    The seas not for swimming in. It’s for running as fast as you can into oncoming waves.
    I'm a twit

  11. #61
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Bottom 1% handwriting if you don't include people who are illiterate I think is a genuine possiblity for me.

    An old colleague at the bank said he'd never met anyone in his life less capable of handling stress, and he's my mate, so maybe that as well.

  12. #62
    Fuck like you cook.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    The seas not for swimming in. It’s for running as fast as you can into oncoming waves.
    Back when I lived in Guernsey I tried to conquer my fear of it. I had my mate with me ready to dive in and a friend on the shore recording the whole thing for proof. It took me ages to build up the courage to do so and just before we did, my Canadian friend spotted a pink Jelly fish and said "OMG we're going to get Steve Irwin'ed" right as I was ready to leap which made me laugh but that was a huge mistake because I was now in the water, laughing but feeling my lungs close in on me so the experience was worse than it needed to me.

    Now given what we have learned about sewage being released, it's not that bad a fear to know that I haven't been swimming in shit for years. Shame too because there's some lovely spots in Cornwall if I was inclined.

  13. #63
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smjffy View Post
    Back when I lived in Guernsey I tried to conquer my fear of it. I had my mate with me ready to dive in and a friend on the shore recording the whole thing for proof. It took me ages to build up the courage to do so and just before we did, my Canadian friend spotted a pink Jelly fish and said "OMG we're going to get Steve Irwin'ed" right as I was ready to leap which made me laugh but that was a huge mistake because I was now in the water, laughing but feeling my lungs close in on me so the experience was worse than it needed to me.

    Now given what we have learned about sewage being released, it's not that bad a fear to know that I haven't been swimming in shit for years. Shame too because there's some lovely spots in Cornwall if I was inclined.
    Your Canadian friend is in the bottom 1% of Steve Irwin knowledge.

    It was a stingray that offed him.

  14. #64
    Fuck like you cook.
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    That's why it tickled me. The reference, not the actual Jelly fish.

  15. #65
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Don View Post
    Kiko has had the grace and humility to not post in here, you'd all do well to take a leaf out of his majestic highly acclaimed book.

    I recall providing images of my GCSE certificates on here approximately 15 years ago though so you're on a great path regardless.
    Thank you Taz. I'm in the top 1% of mensa as well.

  16. #66
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    Baz firmly in the bottom 1% of knowing what words mean.
    What?
    I'm a twit

  17. #67
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    There will only be a handful of people who know more about British nuclear history than me. Never done an IQ test though, so judge that achievement yourselves.

  18. #68
    Fuck like you cook.
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    Would I be in the top 1% or bottom 1% in regards to finishi....

  19. #69
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Less than 1% of people are doctors so I'm definitely in the top 1% of people at being a doctor

  20. #70
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    My chess ELO is probably a pretty fucking low percentile when you only include people who've played as many games, watched as many YouTube videos and read as many books as me.

  21. #71
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    I am also terrible at chess.

  22. #72
    Fuck like you cook.
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    I don't understand the game at all and have never played so I don't know if I would be terrible or not, the part that puts me off is it looks like you'd need to be eased into it by someone with experience and I a) hate losing and b) there is no guarantee I'd enjoy it so that's why I prefer checkers. Not that I've played that in donkey's either but you know.

  23. #73
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Chess is a brilliant game, it has that universally perfect combination of pretty simple rules with shitloads of hidden complexity and depth. It can be frustrating when you try to push on to a higher level and you basically haven't got the capacity, like me, but the joy of elo is that you can pretty much guarantee playing similar level people.

    It's also surprisingly easy to develop from knowing the rules and fools mate to having basic strategic and tactical understanding. A couple of half hour youtube videos and a dozen or so games, basically.

  24. #74
    I used to be funny.
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    Has chess ever got violent? That'd be the point where I start watching.

  25. #75
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Magnus has had some pretty feisty moments, I can tell you.

  26. #76
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    I am also terrible at chess.
    The test was a dud.

  27. #77
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    All chess does is test your ability to play chess.

  28. #78
    Senior Member Andy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    Magnus has had some pretty feisty moments, I can tell you.
    He is one of the GOAT fantasy football managers. I think he finished 10th out of 8 million a couple of years ago.

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