My wife follows this fella on Instagram and it's hard to see past the inevitable headlines that we're going to get one day.
My wife follows this fella on Instagram and it's hard to see past the inevitable headlines that we're going to get one day.
'Lion Whisperer Steal's Local Pinhead's Wife'
I bloody uploaded a photo on here a month or so ago. No one commented. Was a bit awkward.Originally Posted by Ian
I was doing a joke about the TV show.
Not that I remember what you look like either.
Disliking any animal entirely is probably psychopathic.
True. Unless it’s a cat.
On second thoughts, it's probably only true for non-aggressive animals. I wouldn't begrudge someone hating all sharks after their mum got turned into pulled pork on a surfing holiday.
Cats are great. Especially when they hit that, "I don't give a fuck. Just feed me and I'll sit here for the day." stage.
You can tell you're your parents' son.
Dogs smell. They make peoples houses smell, and it’s unpleasant.
You get the occasional “and the house doesn’t even smell of dog” remark but it does. It definitely does.
I'm a twit
I don't like dogs. When I was little two big ones jumped on me (I know they weren't trying to be aggressive) and that has put me off most of them.
My Brother's first dog was brilliant though and I'd like dogs if they were all like that.
Trying to get workmen to do shit. I called a plumber last week to fix my shower and he was all "yeah, yeah, text me the details and I'll get back to you, might be able to fit you in on friday, if not it'll be next week". Grand. That was over a week ago and I've heard fuck all from him.
Had similar with a guy who came to look at fixing up my garage. He came out, had a look, said he'd price it up and give me a quote and I never heard from him again.
Another guy who had given me a quote for the garage and had generally kept in contact quite well said he'd be here this week to do it but there's no sign of him yet.
Also had similar with cavity wall insulation companies. Spoke to about three or four of them on the phone who all said they'd get back to me to arrange a survey but only one has actually bothered to.
It's fucking infuriating. If you're too busy with other stuff, that's fine but just fucking say that so I can try to find someone else instead of waiting for a call back that never happens then having to go looking for someone else again.
They ain't in the business of providing top-notch customer service that melts like you expect. Too busy recovering from last night's sesh.
The general availability of tradespeople is definitely something that's Tony Blair's fault.
I once needed someone to come repair a small section of wooden floor. 'Our earlierst appointment is in 8 months' he said.
Nah, at least he replaced all the native ones with Poles. Now they've all fucked off home because of brexit.
The key (probably not an option in NI, mind) is to get ethnic minorities. My Somalian car mechanic I found on some dodgy app is a fucking godsend.
I’ve been getting my haircut by people who don’t speak English or French for years. I think they’re Kosovan looking at them but I don’t actually know.
Yeah it's solid finding a) someone who actually turns up and b) they're any good.
Once you find a good plasterer, spark, plumber, joiner, etc. that fits both criteria, tip them well and hope they'll come back next time you need them.
I'm a twit
DIY is the only way.
It shows.
My doner just arrived and when I look back I did indeed accidentally click ‘salad’.
Bin
As in.... You've ordered some sort of salad-only kebab or you've binned an entire regular doner kebab rather than just take the salad off?
I was just about to ring and I said I better check first, and I had hit ‘salad’ instead of ‘no salad’. It was too intertwined in it to scrape, plus the lettuce would put a taste off everything anyway.
Fucking raging with myself.
Remember this people when COVID 24 has us getting molested. Fucking hell.
Better remembering the tinfoil hat unvaccinated filth.
Throwing away a kebab cos it’s had lettuce on it.
I'm a twit
In it.
How can someone hate it that much to bin it? It barely tastes of anything.
Giggles stopped posting for ages because he had a heart attack clearly.
For me if you mixed it among 20 other things it’ll be the strongest flavour I’ll pick up. There was raw onion too () but the lettuce would be by far the worse of the two for me, one shred on a lump of meat would completely destroy it.
The junkie with the health chatter
It’s a Saturday night and it’s a kebab you prissy cunt, like millions of others are eating. Hardly an 8-day foie gras binge.
That's a pretty incredible extreme (my missus is fussy but for things that are more severe in flavour like mustard). I'm definitely getting a kebab in the next few days though, too many Turkish places round here not to.
If he's throwing away food because some lettuce has been near it, I'm more surprised he hasn't starved to death.
I’ve heard of different people tasting certain things differently. The idea that lettuce tastes of nothing seems crazy to me. Give me a Big Mac and I might as well be biting into a head of it.
To be fair I'd probably bin anything that had cucumber through it and it wasn't feasible to remove it. It's pretty tragic that I'll never enjoy tzatziki.
Giggles is right. The taste would linger in it and leave it soggy. It's why I never understand people who put half a dozen things in sandwiches.
I really want a kebab now, lettuce and all.
My parents are like that with cucumber too. Day it flavours everything around it. I didn't care for it as a kid but I like it now. Smashed a whole tub of tzatziki earlier. The M&S one is banging.
There's a time element to it as well though. If you've just made a sandwich then the bread should keep it's integrity.
Never realised the secret anti-lettuce group that lingered on this forum.
This is just the tip of the iceberg.
The sandwich point was more a taste issue. My friend gets a load of shit in their Five Guys burgers and I don't see how it doesn't just turn it into tasteless slop.
Lettuce, tomato, cucumber and onion on any sandwich improves things immensely. If you're in subway, you're going to want jalapeńos and olives on there too, then maybe sweetcorn or gherkins depending on the filling.
When ordering a subway the only way to go regarding salad is 'the works'.
Onion, tomatoes, lettuce, olives, jalapenos and gherkins for me at a Subway.
Getting multiple sauces is the sign of a winner too.
Big fan of the spicy cheese but it seems to have been phased out.
Sacking off a kebab (even, presumably, a terrible abrakebabra Irish Kebab) due to salad inclusion is beyond tragic. That said, I always preferred the more premium grade establishments [read: Green Lanes kebab houses] who eschewed such things for parsley in the mix (or does that count as 'salad')? I was going to say I can't recall the last time I had a kebab, but now I remember I had one wandering around Hammersmith at Christmas last year whilst the rest of the mob were watching Nativity the Musical (the day Chelsea inexplicably beat Mikel Arteta's first game Arsenal I think - so maybe 2 years ago)? Yeah, christ, 2 years, covid has fucked everything. I guess last year was the early days of the old Kent Variant so no idly moseying about London then. Anyway, it was a lettuce joint, but you can't expect too much from the West London folk, so I wasn't unhappy.
Abrakebabra is just a shitty chain like subway or papa johns. Did you think they’re the only place to get one here? Any establishment that think pitta bread is acceptable is to always be avoided.
And anyway, you’re all still wrong. The way I pick up the taste of lettuce it would be like asking someone else to eat one that had been doused in lynx or air freshener.
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