My team at work's bit of the office is always full of them and it's a large part of why I'm overweight. Zero self control with snacks.Originally Posted by Foe
Big fan of those extra big share size bags of sweets.
Just smashed about a billion calories worth of dairy milk caramel nibbles and I do not at all feel bad about it.
Banning middle aged women from bringing cakes and shit into offices would be a huge step in fighting the obesity crisis.
Just get the geezer wit the 8 pack abs to bring in fruit on his bday. The fatties soon fall in line through shame and correct their behaviour.
Gammon gammon gammon etc.
Feel sick now.
I came home to find the bomb disposal people had closed the street off and evacuated the flats next door. Not my flats, and everybody in my flats was just inside; but because the road was closed I had to sit watching it with the evacuated mugs. Apparently some idiot was arrested and they noticed a 'suspicious package', but it appears to have been nothing.
'I've done a CBRN course, sweetheart, so if you could move your faggy little robot...'
Surprised you stayed and watched and didn’t go for a mooch.
I'm a twit
He works for the MOD, he'd have bowled in, flashed his Printer Card and defused it himself if he had a bit about him.
Nah, Lewis is colourblind. He'd doom them all.
Went to a Chilli Festival today and I tried a hot sauce which was the hottest thing I've ever tried. They also had a hotter one but the guy said they weren't allowed to let people try without an ambulance there.
Instantly started coughing, had hiccups for 5 minutes, I could feel it on my tongue for about half an hour, vomited saliva twice and I was weeping for a while. Also gave me stomach cramps although that might have been because I tried it on an empty stomach.
Weeping?
Tears.
It didn't go further than that thankfully.
It was worth it for the evacuated stressing out and thinking it was a major drama. There was a bloke seething and claiming not to have been out of his house for six months. I asked why and he went 'Er, isolating?' like I'm a dickhead. 'Yeah, but why the last six months?' He goes - again, like I'm a retard - 'The variants'. He had his daughter with him, who presumably goes to some sort of school and/or mixes with other people. What?
I was just clarifying as I was imagining you sobbing into a handkerchief like a newly crowned widow.
Sun goes up, sun goes down
If any of you have some spare cash buy one of these and you can sell them on eBay for 3-5x within a week.
https://www.uniquelygeekly.com/collections/ampjam-2021
Nearly bought the set of 3 BTTF but Ł7.50 shipping put me off. What are they and why can they be resold for 5x in a week?
I'm a twit
Olly Moss is a famous artist for nerd stuff. I bought one of his non famous pieces for 25 and its now worth 400. He never does reprints so it cant go down in value.
Pumpkin picking this morning, and then out for breakfast with my mate and his family.
Then it was looking like an afternoon of furniture building - dining table, six chairs, some shelving unit, nest of tables, probably something else I’ve forgot. But my dad put up the dining table yesterday afternoon while I was at Van Gogh Alive (load of shite) so that gave me the positivity I needed to smash out four of the chairs last night, so far less to do later.
My new dining table is well good though. For a table, anyway. Proper solid and just the right size.
I'm a twit
I fucking love assembling furniture.
Baz's reference to Pumpkin Picking has just thrown me back to a troubling incident from my past. 2018 was the year and we had just taken our then 2 year old Pumpkin Picking for the first time. On the way back, we stopped off for a celebratory McDonald's in Basildon. I should have known there and then something was going to go awry. You don't stop in Basildon.
But there we were and there he was. "He" was a thirty-something man, sat alone at a table, with a BigMac. No chips and no drink, I hasten to add. Anyway, he began to eat, "as you do" you may think, but no, he ate "as you really fucking don't".
He's eating the fucking thing layer by layer. First the top of the bun, then he scrapes the cheese and the sauce off the burger and sucks it off his fingers (there's no lettuce or onion, I can't discount that he may have been Giggles. Giggles? Where were you in October 2018?), then on to burger 1, then the middle and so on.
He then stood up, leaving the box on the table and left.
What the fuck did I witness? A mental breakdown? Almost certainly, but we can't rule out that this was Basildons version of Bruce Wills being sent into 1980's Harlem with some racist signage. Either way, it's stuck with me. I wonder what became of him.
Last edited by Spikey M; 24-10-2021 at 09:18 AM.
Probably just your run of the mill retard.
I feel slightly shaken reading an eye witness account of that, so I can only imagine how viewing it live made you feel.
Do McDonalds do a burger without lettuce and onion? Game changer.
Nah, it normally comes with Lettuce and Onion so he must have asked for it to come without them.
That's genuinely quite disturbing.
Finishing on the bottom bun must be a major disappointment. On a related note, I bought a double whopper from burger king and it was immense. Started with the top layer and
Don't keep us in suspense.
Give him a minute, he has cheese and sauce all over his hands.
Knife and fork.
I am going glamping in Herefordshire in this weather for an ill advised stag do. Taking two bottles of Jim Beam with me, wish me luck.
Original? The red stag black cherry effort is possibly one of the most dangerous drinks available. Goes down smoother than silk.
Original but I concur on the black cherry shout. I have gone on the train as I wasn't paying Ł80 for a bus, said bus has managed to make virtually no progress since 10am this morning. Going to be pissed on my own at this rate.
I love the honey one as well. Basically death in a bottle.
Got the train to an industrial estate outside cov to buy a new pool cue this morning. I convinced myself my eye injury 10 years ago and subsequent loss of depth perception had killed my game but after the first hour I played today I think I can still go pro lads.
Got an 8.5mm tip which is the smallest I've ever gone and it's amazing how much better it was. @Yevrah get the tournament booked.
Takes it to the pub, lets somebody have a go on it who ruins the tip, never takes it out again.
'I just want a little go with it. Don't be tight.'
'its my cue i brought it from home and...'
First night in Frankfurt so tried to acclimatise and head to the Irish pub. Got some new United mates now to watch all the games with.
Flat hunting tomorrow with the hope we find something relatively quickly.
'No, I'm *originally* from Manchester, but we've just moved here from London.'
*four double denim lads telling you Oasis are 'really fucking cool'
Ask them if they know Fry Crayola.
We're all Fry Crayola in some way.
We're talking early to late 40s guys here wearing replica tops (one with a zebra top, the other the Vodafone one I associate Ruud with 01?). After the first two goals, they got up to do the respective celebrations (I'm not joking).
Come on man u.
People supporting foreign teams always cringes me out.
"HALA MADRID", says Greg from Hounslow, chucking plastic pig heads around.
"Man knows North London is red, isn't it?" responds Raj from Banglahore.
Shut the fuck up lads.
I get enough shit being northern and supporting Arsenal, but those were the rules in my house as a kid.
Most people I know are “we” merchants about Liverpool and Man Utd
Do you respond with “did you play, yeah?”Most people I know are “we” merchants about Liverpool and Man Utd
I'm a twit
It’s not really about whether they played or not, but I wouldn’t waste my time responding anyway.
Bit racist.
It's alright, Raj's dad is from Barrow In Furness.Bit racist.
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