Imagine how shit his shot might have been at a more intimidating ground.
(Internet is obviously now getting a lot of mileage out of this but in fairness I'm not sure what they really expected him to say.)
The very real fear of this really does mean I can only get modest satisfaction out of this.Originally Posted by Samadini
That and the fact that it looks like Smith will be hanging around for as long as any of these lot manage to hang around with him.
Umpire's edging the Australian batting for worst performance of the day. Have they got one right yet?
I always think a few breezy yet redoubtable tail-ender innings are a good sign (ie the pitch is ok to bat on) but it'd be nice to wrap this up now.
Starting to have a similar feel to the Gabba last time (was it?) when they stole about 100 more than they really ought to have got, and that went well.
The obvious takeaway should be that it's a decent pitch to bat on, and don't spaz away reviews when you're plumb lbw (as without one in the tank for Siddle he's gone for nothing), but I doubt either of those two things will sink in for our batsmen.
I'm pretty sure I called a heroic Steve Smith Man of the Series effort after the bans were handed out way back when. It's begun.
Ah, the slow, grinding concession of a big early advantage.
This is what it's all about lads.
I'm coming round to the idea that we really lean into it and our top order serves up a pleasant surprise before going from 150-2 to 201 all out.
Whenever we pull off this sort of great escape the other team usually piles them on straight after demonstrating that it was an easy pitch to bat on after all, but I fully expect us to be 2 down if we get a bat tonight. Can't even pad Jimmy up to open.
There is no better (or worse) sight in cricket than England bowling to the set-batsman tail-ender combo. Shades of that Angelo Mathews disaster here.
Not sure this could have worked out any worse.
Pad up Woakes and, erm, fuck knows.
Not surprised at all that we chucked away the advantage, astonished that we survived those few overs.
I went to bed at 8/122.
Also, have I missed something or are the selectors on crazy pills? No Starc or Hazelwood?
And what does Harris have to do to get selected. Bancroft hasn't shown anything in particular to deserve reselection, and Harris looked like a very good player going forwards. Really stupid selection.
Jimmy mentioned that Paine is out of his depth, but as long as he takes his catches, nobody's really that worried. He has one job.
Who is captain then?
Bancroft has got loads of runs over here for Durham. Not sure he will get many against this attack though.
Paine technically, but you'd have to imagine that Smith will be heavily involved in calling the shots. Paine does it for a little while longer, steps down, we call up Carey and then we're set for keeping.
Paine is one of the less ridiculous selections, all things considered. The lack of Starc, Hazelwood, and Harris/Burns should all probably be more cause for eyebrow-raising. And whoever lost their spot to Wade (Kurtis Patterson, I assume). Although they'd probably have picked Mitch Marsh instead, so, as hard as it is to believe, we may have dodged a bullet there. Patterson should be rightfully grumpy though.
Also, Steve Smith is a god among men, obviously.
Absolutely!
Let him captain in the field and have Paine face the media.
He's a filthy Aussie cheat and should be led around the streets like Cersei Lannister.
I did lol at the reasons I saw for not booing him yesterday (not just from Aussies) not being anything to do with cricket crowds meant to be being genteel or "they've done their time" but just being because he's really good. Fuck off. Him being streets ahead of everybody else and him being a cheat and a coward are unrelated.
That said I should have known he and Siddle would be a bad combo. Siddle's got form for those kind of innings against us.
We'll be one down within a handful of overs today anyway and it'll all go pear-shaped from there.
Yep, Bancroft did fine for Durham but that was in County Championship division 2, bowling attacks there are light years behind the England bowling attack.
I wouldn't have booed Smith for each of his milestones but that's not to say others shouldn't. I'm surprised Siddle is playing, he hasn't featured much for the Aussies in recent times, fully expected Starc to be there. And what is Matthew Wade playing as a batsman all about?
Honours even after day one I reckon.
Famous last words and all but I reckon we're going big today.
Burns or Roy hundred and I am going big tonight as well.
Pessimism Mode: ACTIVATE.
Looks like a batting day.
I’m sure Australia will enjoy it when they come out to bat after Lunch.
Get Jimmy rested, we've got a plan.
Oh gosh we've lost an early wicket what a shocking turn of events.
I'm following the game at work on the BBC website and trying not to laugh at some of Boycott's comments.
I can’t recall so many incorrect decisions in a Test match. Barely into the second innings of the match!
Some bad reviewing/non reviewing as well tbf
And what’s with these unbelievably heavy bails these days? Not that I’m complaining in this instance
Make it count Joe
They must use monstrous size ones in international cricket these days. I carry a 'heavy' set in my umpiring bag but on sight I reckon the ones they use in Tests are heavier than those. Guess they want to avoid the game being delayed if they blow off.
I had TMS on for a bit yesterday and he was a bit through the looking glass. Genuinely started wibbling about Fred Trueman always having a third man.I'm following the game at work on the BBC website and trying not to laugh at some of Boycott's comments.
They've both completely lost the plot. DRS must be so bad for an umpire's mental health, you are second guessing yourself enough as it is.
Here it comes!
When was the last time our dynamic middle order actually had a platform like this? Stokes, Buttler, Bairstow all coming in with the deficit closing. So yeah, 220 all out no doubt.
Oh god, I forgot I'd posted that particular figure...
Well played Rory Burns.
I said an hour ago I'd be delighted to just finish the day on 4 wickets so that's a cracking end to the day.
Great stuff from Rory’s brother smacking down Mark Waugh last week and being vindicated today.
Burns' average for the rest of the series: 7
To be fair, a few of us were watching at the pub and marveled at the way he could be patient, leave and only strike what he knew he could get away with. Classy innings from him.
I saw naff all before 5.30, it sounded like he had a few wobbly moments from what I read but also that he was playing in exactly the way you'd want him to as your opener so I'm well pleased for him. A shame Roy couldn't get more.
Roy will (would?) flourish with stability around him.
Or at number 4 instead of Denly if we can find another opener down the back of a sofa somewhere. I mean, Joe Denly?
Four pints in so far, I am a man of my word.
Wrong thread so I won't go full Welby Nerd on you but 4 pints of what?
Lager. Sorry. I switch to beer on 1 October until 31 March.
Sake.
I see the BBC have this as the Men's Ashes.
This needs to stop.
Is The Open the last bastion?
Do you mean The Men's Open?
No, I mean The Open Championship.
I suppose it would figure that golf would be a late-embracer of 'modernisation'. Long may it continue.
There's a line. The over-separstion is a bit much but golf clubs are full of backward old mentals who think letting a vagina into a bar is some sort of concession to madness so let's hold off on calling them the last bastion of sensible behaviour, eh.
So obviously it'd be nice to march on to 600 but what are we calling a good result from this position? I think batting last if we add less than a further hundred I'll be uncomfortable with it.
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