And the series is on TNT. Guaranteed shitshow.
And the series is on TNT. Guaranteed shitshow.
Although TNT is shit, it really winds me up when they get an away series and all the online comments seethe at the ECB for failing to put Test cricket on free to air. 1) away Tests have never in history been on free to air, 2) the ECB has no control over who the BCCI ghouls choose to sell their home cricket to.
Truly iconic scenes here as another once-great sport lists towards its own oblivion.
That last one is quite literally the current VAR room in football, minus the public being made aware of anything.
It won't surprise you to learn that the Indians have yet to let Shoaib Bashir enter the country (series starts in 2 days).
Been sent back to the Indian Embassy in London or wherever it is they insist is the only place on earth visas can be granted, do they still do that? I remember walking past it every now and then and the queues were insane. Good to see shithead McCullum toeing the line with his "ah it happens to everyone mate" commentary. Good to see he knows which side his bread is buttered on.
If everyone is Pakistani then yes. They pull this shit all the time, we would (should?) have known it was coming. Surprised Rehan Ahmed got in so easily tbh.
They'll probably give him a visa in exchange for another million Indians getting student visas to London. Any complaint by us is 'cry more' and references to the Bengal Famine. This is how the gangster state operates.
At some point we'll need to work out a way of playing our cricket without them and their cash.
Rehan's only in because he got one as a standby for the World Cup. Otherwise I'd imagine he'd be in the same situation.Originally Posted by Ben
The more I look at our team, the worse it gets. Wood is literally the only seamer. Stokes is crocked and if the pitch offers absolutely anything in that regard, the only other person in the XI that has bowled a minimum of one over of seam in first class is Jonny Bairstow.
What's our plan when the Indians inevitably get hold of our very average spin?
Bazball logic dictates that they think it'll spin and so you go balls to the wall on that, backing it fully with no Plan B, because plan Bs are for wimps. When India come out for the toss and name their attack as Jasprit Bumrah, Mohammed Shami, Zaheer Khan and Javagal Srinath then we'll know we've fucked up.
Why are we naming our team in advance anyway? Now we've played our hand they'll be dousing the cunt in Miracle-Gro tonight.
I have no idea, no other team does it. I always hope it's going to be a dummy. If this is truly the political brinkmanship tour then Stokes will make a dramatic return to bowling, or we'll name a completely different XI at the toss.
Having seen the pitch, I can see why they've gone with the team they have. It looks like every blade of grass has been scraped away from a length down to the stumps.
The best chance we have of taking any of the 5 is if they are absolute minefields. Gives the rookie spinners a chance and maybe someone does something mental with the bat.
Nice that Bashir has been given his Visa now
I'm trying to stay off twitter for it, the Indian scum army is more toxic than ever before. 4am for a blast of Ravi Shastri may also be too far but we'll see.
Waking up at lunch and wondering what flavour of shit I would prefer? England 80/7 or India 120/0?
Yeah the Indians are out in full force across all social media channels - the latest stuff I'm seeing is blaming the ECB and the government for not sorting Bashir's visa in time, rather than accept any fault of their own. Need to stay away from all that noise before it genuinely infuriates me.
Theyll be kicking themselves when Gus Atkinson carries out a terrorist attack.
What's underneath it all, especially when it comes to England although I've also seen it with Australia, is the idea that India has, via its own native brilliance, somehow shaken off the colonial yoke and turned the power tables on the white man. The only problem with this idea is that it's only in the world of cricket that it's really true at all. Still, the opportunity to put this directly to their former imperial masters online gives them such immense excitement that you can sort of feel the wet thrill as it trembles from their fingertips and into these online replies.
The reality is that their economy is a complete one-trick pony, their politics and business is rife with deep corruption, and their government is systematically persecuting religious minorities (which, this being India, means hundreds of millions of people) while having dissidents murdered by their secret services overseas. That's before you get to the insane inequality of the place and the fact that multinationals only use them for mass cheap labour, which bodes ill once something cheaper comes along. Still, cricket is this happy place for them, a place that presents a much happier national story than the one playing out for real.
Oddly, none of this is actually a problem for cricket, which could well use a villainous behemoth that everyone loves to hate. What is a problem for cricket is India's tens of millions of gambling addicts who have hungrily funded the explosion in bent T20/T10 leagues and are collapsing the global professional game in on itself at a rapid pace.
Meanwhile here's the truth on the Bashir visa case as filed by Nick Hoult. Important parts in bold. Poor lad getting caught up in this.
As a devastated Shoaib Bashir was making a forlorn flight home with his dreams of a Test debut in Hyderabad ruined, senior England officials were at a swanky awards ceremony thrown by the Indian board.
Current and former stars of Indian cricket gathered at Hyderabad’s Park Hyatt for the Board of Control for Cricket in India’s version of the Oscars. There Richard Gould, the England and Wales Cricket Board’s chief executive, accompanied by team director Rob Key, made late pleas for help from Jay Shah, the president of the BCCI and son of the Indian home minister.
Shah, like so many in the Bashir case, expressed sympathy and understanding but could do little more because this is government policy. And it is sensitive, too. Rohit Sharma, the India captain, took a long pause before answering a question about the Bashir case. Nobody in BCCI circles wants to say the wrong thing in public.
It is a brick wall the ECB has bashed against many times in this case. It is powerless, and it has been proved again that the Big Three does not really exist, it is the Big One as Australia found out when Usman Khawaja had the same problem last year. The opaqueness of the relationship between the government and Indian board complicates matters, rather than helps.
A week ago, when the Bashir situation started to become urgent, Gould had a meeting with Stuart Andrew, the British sports minister, and the case was on the agenda. Again, there was little actual help the minister could offer.
Bashir was selected on Dec 11, 41 days before scheduled arrival in India, and the visa application process started immediately. Bashir’s Pakistan heritage through his parents was a potential red flag. It is understood there was a mistake on one player’s application, Ollie Robinson, but this was rectified without a hitch. Bashir’s information was filled in correctly and he attended a meeting at the Indian High Commission. Another was cancelled by officials.
The whole England squad left for their training camp in the United Arab Emirates on Jan 11 with some players, not just Bashir, still waiting on visas (others have long-term entry permission from previous tours or the Indian Premier League). Bashir was assured his would be issued in Abu Dhabi and England felt he had to travel to the camp to become immersed in the squad culture and get to know his team-mates, still believing he would be cleared in time.
As late as last Friday, and 48 hours before England were to touch down in Hyderabad, Indian officials were reassuring England and Bashir it would be processed in time. By late Saturday it became clear he would be unable to travel with the rest of the squad to India and he remained in the UAE with Stuart Hooper, the former rugby union player for Leeds and Bath, who joined the ECB only on Jan 1 as head of cricket operations. He has had a baptism of fire.
There was no serious discussion of the rest not travelling. England pulling out of a Test match in India would be a nuclear option, with millions of dollars of television money at stake and relations with the BCCI ruined for a generation.
At first, England were reasonably confident the delay would be only temporary but once Bashir made headlines, the situation actually worsened. The publicity was just what the Indian government wanted. Their hardline stance on Pakistan was now reaffirmed in public, showing that even cricketers are not immune to their discriminatory approach. On Tuesday the ECB learnt Bashir would have to fly home to have his visa stamped.
It should have been no surprise to the ECB. Saqib Mahmood did not go on a Lions tour to India. “These are difficult issues and very political,” Tom Harrison, then ECB chief executive, said. In November two former England players with Pakistani parents were unable to secure visas to play in a veterans’ world series league in India.
Now the ECB is likely to conduct research on young cricketers of Asian heritage in the county academies to pick up any potential issues with India visas in the future and be better prepared to apply.
The timing is sensitive, too, with the India general election looming in April-May. The Hindu nationalist ruling party BJP is responsible for the visa crackdown on people with Pakistani backgrounds and will play its headline stance in canvassing votes.
Visas are also a sensitive part of negotiations between the Indian and British governments over a free trade deal. Trade talks entered a 14th phase on Jan 10. Officials from the United Kingdom arrived in Delhi on Monday to conclude this round of talks.
One of the main sticking points has been the issuing of UK visas for Indian nationals. Indian companies that set up in the UK under the new trade agreement want the freedom to bring staff with them to Britain but issuing more visas will increase migration numbers at a sensitive time for the Government. The message is pretty clear: make things easy for us and we will reciprocate.
Bashir has found out the hard way that politics influences everything. Just a few months ago he was bowling for Taunton Deane in the West of England Premier League. He must be bewildered by events.
He had made a big impression on England in the UAE. His height, bounce and turn impressed Key and Brendon McCullum, the Test head coach. They believe he will be a threat on turning pitches in India. The fact they have picked all three remaining specialist spinners in the squad for the first Test shows he was seriously in the mix to play and they love nothing more than making a bold call based on a gut feeling.
As the England players walked to the nets on Wednesday at the Rajiv Gandhi Stadium, head shots of the squad were being pinned to the door of the stadium for the benefit of accreditation checkers. Bashir’s face was one of them. It is the closest he will come to official recognition in Hyderabad.
We're going to be all out by tea. Start as you mean to go on.
Never doubt the Blade of Justice.
I think this may actually be a fairly decent effort, given the alternative was poke around and be all out for 86. See how we get on with the ball.
It's already surpassed 7 of our 8 innings totals from our last tour. So I went back to look at the carnage:
578 all out (190.1)
178 all out (46.3)
134 all out (59.5)
164 all out (54.2)
112 all out (48.4)
81 all out (30.4)
205 all out (75.5)
135 all out (54.5)
Was that the Channel 4 series? The one and only week I had off work during the entire COVID pandemic, waking up to Alistair Cook every morning.
I remember loving the first morning with a lion-haired Rory Burns flaying their useless bowlers everywhere in between soporific, solo Cook analysis. As dawns go it was on the falser side.
Good to see someone actually get after Jadeja for a change.
Pretty rough critique of Bazball considering the English test team are in some of the best form seen in your life.
I was trying to double-check recent results.
McCullum's tenure as England's coach coincided with a turnaround in the fortunes of the England Test cricket team. The side had won only one Test match in the seventeen played before the hiring of Stokes and McCullum, with previous captain Joe Root "emotionally shattered after leading a struggling side through two difficult years which included multiple tours with testing Covid-enforced restrictions". With no dramatic change to the players selected, England "against all odds" experienced success: "their bowlers rose to the challenge, taking 20 wickets in six of the seven Test matches, while their batsmen scored at unprecedented pace. England won six of their seven Tests this summer, their second-most in a single season anywhere in the world." Only once (in 2004) had they won more, and in the time since "they had not even matched six wins, let alone bettered it."
It wasn't a critique at all, I absolutely love Bazball.
This is brutal for the lad Hartley. Maybe jn hindsight another seamer to be able to dry it up a bit would have been better especially with Root as a 4th spinner in this XI
Half volley machine.
Not his fault but I wonder why he was picked. He's a T20 specialist is he not?
Release point i think is the buzz phrase of the tour and explains the selection of Hartley and Bashir.
Could probably have done with I dia not knocking off 25% of their chase in 8 overs, eh.
Definite Simple Simon vibes.
Since they started covering pitches c.1980, our best left arm spinners by average have been: Leach, Edmonds, Panesar all 34, Tufnell 37, Giles 40. It's a thankless task. You just don't get a chance to develop.
There are hundreds of absolutely terrifying ones in club cricket who just haven't been able to go pro because pro conditions reward bustling medium pacers.
Literally just referenced this talking elsewhere.
Although it seems that we're in for a hiding here (Rohit's wicket notwithstanding), there is the tantalising possibility of flame-haired Lion of Yorkshire, Jonny Bairstow being called upon as the second seamer at some point and that I think would be far more important than the piddling details of who won and lost the game.
He's settled quite nicely against the right-hander now. That last review was unlucky, looked absolutely plumb.
Nearly got a 2 for 1 today.
Woke up mildly buoyed by a few wickets - then it dawned on me Ashwin is carded at 9! Ludicrous depth.
I'm hugely enjoying us not getting any lbws because the umpires think they're all bouncing over. Maybe we need to get some hobbit-like spinners with low release points.
Short men can't play cricket, you know this.
Australia struggling big time against Kemar Roach. It'll be interesting to see how the West Indies lose it from this position.
Jadeja must average 100 against us.
Only 34.28 apparently. Always seems like he chips in with runs down the order.
I don't think we've been particularly bad, just an indication of our spinning talent when compared to India's. If anything, we're genuinely performing better than I thought we would.
It just shows that the batting has to do better if we're to win a game or two in the series.
How was Root so sure he hit that? Very strange.
Baz Ball love an absolute collapse after a decent start.
Root and Bairstow at 4 and 5
Bairstow is a bit of a problem at 5 in India.
Decent effort by Pope here, must have done a huge amount of work vs spin.
This is not a complete disgrace so you'll take that.
Edit: sorry about the wicket.
Absolute pea roller to dismiss Foakes. If we can get to 180 ahead and refrain from bowling like cunts we could, maybe, make it competitive.
Magnificent knock from Pope, his best.
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