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Thread: Christmas 2018

  1. #1
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Christmas 2018

    It's December, lads, which means that we can start listening to Christmas music. We can also get the annual thread going. For previous efforts see:

    Christmas 2015 (Christmas of Chaos)
    Christmas 2016 (Make Christmas Great Again)
    Christmas 2017 (Christmas means Christmas)

    This year we're having a #PeoplesChristmas, so let's hear what you have planned.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Pleb's Avatar
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    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Wdytoe?

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    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    Wdytoe?
    We've done our last one of those.

  5. #5
    I used to be funny.
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    For £60, I'd rather take that batch of Aberlour they do every Christmas.

  6. #6
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Giggles - Subtly donned Smiffy right off the board. Legend.
    Pepe - The toppest lad on The Third Half dot co dot uk.

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    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    We were meant to be staying at home for Christmas this year, but my Sister in Law has invited everyone round there so we're doing that instead. It means there's people to force the kids on and someone else gets lumbered with the cooking, so win-win.

    Only downside is that I will have to drive, so can only have a beer or 2 until the evening.

  8. #8
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    We had two invites from her siblings. Both houses have children so she can go on her own or come with me to my folks.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Forgot about Smifgate. Mental stuff.

  10. #10
    I used to be funny.
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    I've got an early finish on Christmas Eve so might sneak over the folks. Assuming my sister's not offering to give me a lift in on the big day.

  11. #11
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Going to Poland for a few days next week and we'll have an early dinner thing there with family.

    Then we'll do the usual here.

  12. #12
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    Forgot about Smifgate. Mental stuff.
    You have no idea. He was almost certainly having some sort of breakdown. You should see the stuff he was PMing admins.

  13. #13
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Declassify the pms. We deserve to know.

  14. #14
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    The people demand it.

  15. #15
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    What was Smiffgate?

  16. #16
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    1. He got sacked for having weed in his bag and convinced himself that Giggles was to blame.
    2. Giggles started filling his pants every time the phone rang after six o'clock.
    3. ?????
    4. He created that summsuccess account to have a go at everyone.

    What a forum.

  17. #17
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Didn't he then come back and pretend that nothing happened too?

    He also posted those awful cooking videos.

  18. #18
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Work party next week. Me, my assistant manager and the new 21 year old temp are going to my colleague's house at 3ish, and about 4 of our female colleagues about an hour after. We've been promised girls v boys beer pong, about 7 kids of spirits and some sort of trivia-related game, before we go to the actual event at about 7. I think this can only end disastrously but I'm quite excited.

  19. #19
    I used to be funny.
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    Sounds like you work with complete cunts.

  20. #20
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  21. #21
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    We were at a wake this evening so naturally it's full session now. I declare Christmas officially started.

  22. #22
    Pretty Much Amazing Mike's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    Sounds like you work with complete cunts.
    I know! Having a good time. What cunts!

  23. #23
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I've got to do a work lunch in a pub, and then later the same day an informal 'work' dinner with some of my direct colleagues, strangely including a guy who left a month ago (OK) and the guy who was sacked to make way for me (weird).

    Both will be shit. Still, it beats the Koreans.

  24. #24
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mike View Post
    I know! Having a good time. What cunts!
    Fun can be had without #epicladbantz shite.

  25. #25
    I used to be funny.
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    Mine was just direct after work. Went over to a restaurant in town, had two courses and a couple of pints. You'll notice we stopped at two courses. Their portions are huge. Like, the calzone I had was bigger than the plate it rested on. People were impressed I could finish it. Spent the night wondering about the ethnicity of the staff, one of the older women almost kicked off at the bar. The only problem with these nights out is that the workforce no longer has any decent lasses. Unless you count the young, thick lass upstairs who is adorable. So everyone kinda vanishes before 10pm. There was three of us left and I went as soon as their lifts were 5 minutes out.

  26. #26
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    In my experience young, attractive 'thick but adorable' women are anything but. That may be because I come from Essex, the birthplace of the 'it's cool to be thick movement', but most of them are playing up to the stereotype massively.

    I have worked with a woman for 6 years, when I started she used to say things like "I thought the Moon was just the Sun at night" (genuine quote), but only when a bloke she fancied was around.

    These days she's grown up, had 2 kids and doesn't have time for the bullshit act, which has made her a better person across all fronts.

  27. #27
    I used to be funny.
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    Nah, this lass is genuinely thick. She thought John Wayne was Batman.

  28. #28
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    "Of course it goes in there"

  29. #29
    Pretty Much Amazing Mike's Avatar
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    Put the Y1 Christmas Tree up this afternoon with a boy with autism. It looks as you might expect.

  30. #30
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Nice of you to get your brother a job.

  31. #31
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Woof.

    Despite the german markets, mass advertising and hoards of shoppers, Christmas still hasn't arrived for me. No tree or advent calendar. Wank.

  32. #32
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Mike is Trans-gender, The Reid is the Autistic.

  33. #33
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    We've reached the time of year when people at work start regaling me with how excited their sproglets are to visit crappy pop-up malls with animatronic reindeer and poorly acted Father Christmases, and it really winds me up for some reason. Christmas is about having a short break from the otherwise relentless misery of adulthood, not celebrating the joy of childhood.

    'Ooh, Leo (they are all called Leo, now) made a sleigh bells card'. Fuck off and let me drink alone.

  34. #34
    I used to be funny.
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    All our work seems to be doing is throwing sweets at us. Fair play to our boss writing out 150 cards, though.

  35. #35
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by igor_balis View Post
    Nice of you to get your brother a job.
    I'm a twit

  36. #36
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    'Ooh, Leo (they are all called Leo, now)
    Spoonsky setting trends.

  37. #37
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    I fucking love Christmas

    Especially if you can whisk yourself off to a snowy locale

  38. #38
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    I was given no warning how large that emoji was going to be.

  39. #39
    Senior Member Mazuuurk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    We've reached the time of year when people at work start regaling me with how excited their sproglets are to visit crappy pop-up malls with animatronic reindeer and poorly acted Father Christmases, and it really winds me up for some reason. Christmas is about having a short break from the otherwise relentless misery of adulthood, not celebrating the joy of childhood.

    'Ooh, Leo (they are all called Leo, now) made a sleigh bells card'. Fuck off and let me drink alone.

    You know what just tell them that. I bet they will stop telling you.

  40. #40
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I'm going to some posh hotel in Edinburgh. @Waffdon bring your bird and we'll go for a pissup on boxing day.

  41. #41
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    They don't have Boxing Day in jockland, do they?

  42. #42
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mazuuurk View Post
    You know what just tell them that. I bet they will stop telling you.
    Such is the tragedy of life, being constantly wound up by twats is actually far preferable to the alternative.

  43. #43
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    I'm going to some posh hotel in Edinburgh. @Waffdon bring your bird and we'll go for a pissup on boxing day.
    I’m working the next day so doubt I’ll be out Boxing Day unfortunately. How long are you there?

  44. #44
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    Such is the tragedy of life, being constantly wound up by twats is actually far preferable to the alternative.
    You need a girlfriend mate

  45. #45
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I really don't.

  46. #46
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Ok maybe not

  47. #47
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Boyfriend.

  48. #48
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    Has anyone been to Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park?

    I went last year and enjoyed it very much, considering a last minute trip there this weekend providing I can find a reasonably priced hotel.

  49. #49
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    My secret Santa at work once commented “yeah I like a real ale” but I’m not sure if he was just saying it cos I did, as we’d almost literally only just met and he’s dead nice so may have just been being polite. Obviously putting it to the test by buying him some beer. We’ve a budget of a fiver so I’ve gone for a can of Pale Aura (ayoo @niko_cee) and a can of Schrodingers Cat, that my mate recommended. Also some wine gums and deodorant.

    Normally buying deodorant for secret Santa could be quite harsh (“you stink m8”) but lots of people tell him he smells nice quite frequently and when everyone was saying what they’d like to get, he said deodorant. And wine gums cos he was surprised that me and big Roger preferred Fruit Pastilles over Wine Gums when our Rog was moaning his vaping thing tasted more like Wine Gums than Fruit Pastilles. £5 well spent, I’m sure you agree.

    Pretty confident he’s got me too, so am expecting some beers in return.
    I'm a twit

  50. #50
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    I got mine a jumper with cats on it because she's hipster and a book about Jesus being a myth because she hated my atheism.

    Might add some wine gums too on the hope she opens them and offers them round.

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