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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #701
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Why didn't I book the morning after England games off. I'm an idiot.

  2. #702
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    It's happening at the end of today. Just drawing up the termination letter.

  3. #703
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    I'm going to miss him although he should have gone ages ago.

  4. #704
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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    It's happening at the end of today. Just drawing up the termination letter.
    How much job security do you think he thinks he has?

  5. #705
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    What was the final straw?

  6. #706
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    The impending lawsuit.

  7. #707
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Well my plan had been to get through the next project and then let him go. But in truth, that project isn't time sensitive, and the clients have said they're okay waiting for up to a year.

    He's been an absolute disgrace over the past month. A catalogue of fuckups, some of which could have been very bad for us if we didn't have someone checking every single thing he did. And today he asked me for a chat, and said he was feeling unmotivated because he hadn't had a review in a while, and he wasn't sure where he stood with the company. Said he'd been a junior developer "for ages" and there didn't seem to be any signs of progression. The sense I got was that he's been after a review to try and negotiate a payrise, hilariously enough. In truth, I'd been intentionally avoiding a review because he was on borrowed time anyway - and couldn't see the point in putting in the effort for someone who was only weeks away from the chop.

    Afterwards I sat and realised that it was benefitting noone to string him along any more. If he's not feeling motivated, and I'm unhappy with his performance, we may as well just call it a day. So at half 5, I called him in for a private meeting and did the deed. He took it very well - said he was gutted, he'd loved working here and thanked me. Couldn't have gone better, really.

  8. #708
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    Well my plan had been to get through the next project and then let him go. But in truth, that project isn't time sensitive, and the clients have said they're okay waiting for up to a year.

    He's been an absolute disgrace over the past month. A catalogue of fuckups, some of which could have been very bad for us if we didn't have someone checking every single thing he did. And today he asked me for a chat, and said he was feeling unmotivated because he hadn't had a review in a while, and he wasn't sure where he stood with the company. Said he'd been a junior developer "for ages" and there didn't seem to be any signs of progression. The sense I got was that he's been after a review to try and negotiate a payrise, hilariously enough. In truth, I'd been intentionally avoiding a review because he was on borrowed time anyway - and couldn't see the point in putting in the effort for someone who was only weeks away from the chop.

    Afterwards I sat and realised that it was benefitting noone to string him along any more. If he's not feeling motivated, and I'm unhappy with his performance, we may as well just call it a day. So at half 5, I called him in for a private meeting and did the deed. He took it very well - said he was gutted, he'd loved working here and thanked me. Couldn't have gone better, really.
    He'll mow you down in the car park tomorrow morning.

  9. #709
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    He has something better lined up already.

  10. #710
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    He has something better lined up already.
    By the sounds of him, if he does have then he'll last about a month in it anyway.

  11. #711
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Chancers gonna chance.

  12. #712
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    Well my plan had been to get through the next project and then let him go. But in truth, that project isn't time sensitive, and the clients have said they're okay waiting for up to a year.

    He's been an absolute disgrace over the past month. A catalogue of fuckups, some of which could have been very bad for us if we didn't have someone checking every single thing he did. And today he asked me for a chat, and said he was feeling unmotivated because he hadn't had a review in a while, and he wasn't sure where he stood with the company. Said he'd been a junior developer "for ages" and there didn't seem to be any signs of progression. The sense I got was that he's been after a review to try and negotiate a payrise, hilariously enough. In truth, I'd been intentionally avoiding a review because he was on borrowed time anyway - and couldn't see the point in putting in the effort for someone who was only weeks away from the chop.

    Afterwards I sat and realised that it was benefitting noone to string him along any more. If he's not feeling motivated, and I'm unhappy with his performance, we may as well just call it a day. So at half 5, I called him in for a private meeting and did the deed. He took it very well - said he was gutted, he'd loved working here and thanked me. Couldn't have gone better, really.
    Gizza job?

  13. #713
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    What are you working on that's going to take up to a year?

  14. #714
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    You read that wrong. The project won't take a year - it's only about a month's worth of work. But their deadline for going live is in a year, so the pressure's off us, basically.

  15. #715
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    You won't be hiring Boydy anyway.

  16. #716
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Jimmy thought he had it bad with the Koreans.

  17. #717
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I got done for coming in at 8.32 for an 8.30 start three times in a month, I think it was.

    Never mind that in the same month I came in earlier than 8.15 about 10-12 times.

  18. #718
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Poor bastard only wanted to skip the queue.

  19. #719
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    From what I can gather here in civil service land you just round things up/down to the nearest hour.

  20. #720
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Round down? Civil service?

  21. #721
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Yeah, you get in 9:20, you round down to 9:00.

  22. #722
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    Get in at 825?

    Got in at 800. Lovely.

  23. #723
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    We had 2 minutes grace 3 times a month in my last clocking number. You had to stay an extra 15 mins at the end for the 2 mins though.

  24. #724
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Yeah, you get in 9:20, you round down to 9:00.
    Of course, silly me. I was thinking merely in terms of time worked, but I guess billable units don't exist in that world.

  25. #725
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    I got told off today for cancelling the last call. They can get lost if they think I’m getting home after 5. Boss gave me the “you’re paid til 5:30” spiel but I don’t get a dinner and I left at 8:15. Fuck you.

    I do get home most days before 4, but that’s cos I’m efficient. Today they stuck me miles away from home with a really slow person. Frustrating.
    I'm a twit

  26. #726
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Why would you get a dinner when you finish at half five?

  27. #727
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Why would you get a dinner when you finish at half five?
    Still should get some break from 8:15 to 17:30.

  28. #728
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Why would you get a dinner when you finish at half five?
    Because in spastic land dinner means lunch.

  29. #729
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Because in spastic land dinner means lunch.

  30. #730
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    Went for two internal jobs this week - first one was head of year, where I aced the tasks but fucked the interview, so didn't get it. Today went for a much more junior position though and got that. It's only an extra £50 a month (approx) but it'll hopefully be good experience for when a head of year job comes up again.

  31. #731
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Because in spastic land dinner means lunch.
    Haha yeah.

    Was genuinely confused about the question.
    I'm a twit

  32. #732
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Yeah, you get in 9:20, you round down to 9:00.
    I literally did that yesterday. My targets are 'notional' as well.

  33. #733
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    I don't because I don't like STEALING FROM THE TAXPAYER.

  34. #734
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I'm important mate.

  35. #735
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Started getting some stuff through for my new job, including invites to my induction and some IT training shit where they're gonna teach me how to use Office 365

  36. #736
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I'm putting together this photo montage of a Womans HIV Support Group as it's their 25th anniversary or something. The photos are from 1992, there's like 150 people in these photos and only 9 still alive. Feels well morbid.

  37. #737
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I thought HIV was (pretty easily) manageable these days?

  38. #738
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    It is, but that's probably not that useful to people who had it in 1992.

    Actually, doesn't that make them a year late? You should do something that shows them who could have come had they done it on time.

  39. #739
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Disco View Post
    It is, but that's probably not that useful to people who had it in 1992.

    Actually, doesn't that make them a year late? You should do something that shows them who could have come had they done it on time.
    Conference is once every 2 years. Not their fault really.

  40. #740
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    3 hour meeting followed by a 2 hour gap into another 2 hour meeting.

    Love not getting anything done.

  41. #741
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    But you still have time to post on here.

  42. #742
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    But you still have time to post on here.
    It's a sad state of affairs but 10 minutes of posting on here is my version of self care.

  43. #743
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I spent 2 hours checking Apple Serial numbers in a cluttered comms room earlier. Fuck you Apple.

  44. #744
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    Lady coworker: So how do they play the games at the same time? Are they like in different stadiums?

    Me with a straight face:
    Well actually they do it all at once *grabs a piece of paper* basically you have two teams playing this way (draws a normal pitch) and then (draws another pitch making a "+") but the way they film horizontally you don't really notice as much, that's why they're on different channels. You have one camera filming "this way" (first pitch) and one filming "this way" (second pitch)"

    Lady coworker: ooooommmggg that makes so much sense

    I went on with this bit for another 2-3 minutes before I said:

    Me: So you're joking right, you're just going along with the bit because I'm still going along with it, right?

    Her: Shut up, are you serious?

    [Spoiler: She actually frequents Orlando City MLS games.]

  45. #745
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I had a twenty minute kip at my desk today. If I wasn't on such shit money (relatively speaking) I would turn up on GS' doorstep and lol out loud right in his face.

  46. #746
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Time thief.

  47. #747
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    If everyone can toss off for a coffee four times a day then I can have a quick POWER NAP to perk myself up.

  48. #748
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    Time thief.
    Fire him.

    /Dwight

  49. #749
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    You're getting sacked so quickly.

  50. #750
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    They tried to recruit somebody for my job a year ago (why did I miss that?) but all the candidates were shit.

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