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Thread: Coronavirus Death Thread

  1. #13701
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    Bledisloe no 3 at Lang Park is gonna be sick.

  2. #13702
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Queenslander's trolling

  3. #13703
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    My home borough has gone into Tier 2 now despite my ward at least being at 44 per 100,000. Councils absolutely desperate to be classified higher for the associated cash grab.

  4. #13704
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    London going into tier 2 from Friday means that I can mix in households on one side of the bridge down the road, but not on the other. Happy days.
    Same here. We don't fall under Essex County Council, so we're not included but half of my wife's family are. Her Grandad is currently receiving palliative care and will be lucky to make Christmas. We will now probably never see him again. Well... we will, because Essex Council can fuck themselves, but you get my point.

    All this because the head of the Council - who lives in Suffolk - asked to have the tier changed to High risk. There are places with far more Covid cases still in the medium risk category. What an absolute shambles.

  5. #13705
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Don View Post
    Queenslander's trolling
    Im also the idiot of the board.

  6. #13706
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Queenslander View Post
    Im also the idiot of the board.
    Objection.

  7. #13707
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    In all seriousness, this is awful. Winter is shit enough as it is without being forced into confinement for the next four months or whatever. The worst thing about lockdown 1 was the absence of things to look forward to on a daily/weekly basis, and it will be the same now. If I have to do another Zoom quiz I might shoot myself in the fucking face.

  8. #13708
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    The weather being nice made it tolerable for people living alone.

    Try that when it’s pitch black, cold and wet. Christ.

    Add on top people losing jobs and we are in for an almighty shit show if we do lockdown.

  9. #13709
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    The tier 3 rules are basically lockdown + kids at school, no?

    It's happening and it's going to be grim.

  10. #13710
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yevrah View Post
    The tier 3 rules are basically lockdown + kids at school, no?

    It's happening and it's going to be grim.
    + Weatherspoons.

  11. #13711
    Senior Member Andy's Avatar
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    We will all be in some state of lockdown soon.

    Schools and universities will be open, non essential shops will be open and construction/housing will carry on but all social interaction will be off.

    Its going to be awful. I wouldnt be surprised if we are all tier 3 by the end of the month as the cold weather really starts to come in.

  12. #13712
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Jeremy Hunt - former Health Secretary, and previously seen as a sensible head on this - has asked Matt Hancock for a target of when 'every single person in the population will be tested every week' as the basis for returning to 'normality'. Ten million tests every day. Normality. This is mental.

  13. #13713
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    Contact transmission is not really a thing, so the whole cleaning of surfaces is nothing but ritual.
    Yes it is a thing.

  14. #13714
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    An import in work has shown a few small signs lately of tinfoil hattery lately; links in group whatsapp, etc, but he just went full on mental case at lunch time today shouting at us that we were all scared and Bill Gates and some event 201 invented the virus because creating mask divisions is easier than creating a new war. It all ended with him squaring up to me for calling him a crackpot. It's made the day more interesting at least

  15. #13715
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    I'd love to meet one of those "they're controlling us/it's Bill Gates" nutters. My first question would be, why?

    The government already control us and Bill Gates already has enough money to level countries if he wanted.

  16. #13716
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    The same fella also is certain all lockdowns will be completely over by next week because the WHO have said "they're not ideal".

  17. #13717
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Found Taz' burner account.

  18. #13718
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    Yes it is a thing.
    If you are the kind of person that constantly licks their hands and pokes their fingers in their nose, then maybe. Otherwise, it really is a non-issue. Just wash your fucking hands, which you should be doing, pandemic or not.

  19. #13719
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    An import in work has shown a few small signs lately of tinfoil hattery lately; links in group whatsapp, etc, but he just went full on mental case at lunch time today shouting at us that we were all scared and Bill Gates and some event 201 invented the virus because creating mask divisions is easier than creating a new war. It all ended with him squaring up to me for calling him a crackpot. It's made the day more interesting at least
    Has 2010 Kiko time-travelled? What a scrap.

  20. #13720
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    #justsaying

  21. #13721
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Not sure what kind of pubs Nick Pettigrew's (almost certainly not) been frequenting.

  22. #13722
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    What a don (ignoring the strange droopy boobs).

  23. #13723
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    My first Driving Instructor was like that (sans Rubik's Cube). I paid for 10 hours up front too.

    10 hours on how Cancer isn't real, planes spray mind controlling chemicals, etc. Genuinely contemplated deliberately crashing the car a few times.

  24. #13724
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Open the clubs.

  25. #13725
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Tell me more about these fruit machines.

  26. #13726
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Daniel Craig preparing for his next role. Accent is a little heavy imo.

  27. #13727
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    Tell me more about these fruit machines.
    Slot machines with some extra buttons.

  28. #13728
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    You select various options, insert coins and then it drops you out a piece of fruit according to your stated criteria. The other day I got something absolutely equidistant between a grapefruit and a pineapple.

  29. #13729
    Senior Member 7om's Avatar
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    People like him are the reason I frequent r/conspiracy. You just love to see the depths of insanity people are stooping to.

  30. #13730
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    Slot machines with some extra buttons.
    That give you fruit?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    You select various options, insert coins and then it drops you out a piece of fruit according to your stated criteria. The other day I got something absolutely equidistant between a grapefruit and a pineapple.
    Instead of picking whatever fruit you like?

    Bunch of weirdos.

  31. #13731
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Don't listen to their nonsense, Pepe.

    It's a machine made of fruit. They smell good but they're not very resilient when they've been booted a few times by a drunken pubgoer.

  32. #13732
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    That give you fruit?



    Instead of picking whatever fruit you like?

    Bunch of weirdos.
    If you win the jackpot it's fruit salads all round and feel like a king for the night. Enjoy your chicken wings though.

  33. #13733
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    And people laugh at Lewis ordering milk.

  34. #13734
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    That's what Queenslander was talking about months ago in this thread when he said he was in the pub having a pint and felt like a king.

    He'd just won big and it was fruit salads for all the lads.

  35. #13735
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    An import in work has shown a few small signs lately of tinfoil hattery lately; links in group whatsapp, etc, but he just went full on mental case at lunch time today shouting at us that we were all scared and Bill Gates and some event 201 invented the virus because creating mask divisions is easier than creating a new war. It all ended with him squaring up to me for calling him a crackpot. It's made the day more interesting at least
    Fucking amazing he would've been lolled out of the building at our spot halfway through his rant.

  36. #13736
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Have you never seen the scenes in UK TV shows where there's a pub scene and someone will always be at the bar munching on a plate of kiwi? It's one of the cornerstones of our national drinking culture.

  37. #13737
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    The very first time you win a mango

  38. #13738
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    As if you can grow Kiwi over there. It's probably all shit apples.

    EDIT: Which makes me realize that I don't think that I have ever eaten kiwi.

    What's everyone's favorite fruit?

  39. #13739
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Welcome to the club, Lancashire.

    Big round of applause for Lofty.
    I'm a twit

  40. #13740
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    And people laugh at Lewis ordering milk.
    Atleast we're trying to do something about the obesity epidemic. What are your mob doing about it?

  41. #13741
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Atleast we're trying to do something about the obesity epidemic. What are your mob doing about it?
    Mate, college students over here are dying due to "food insecurity." We need to feed them more, not less.

  42. #13742
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    As if you can grow Kiwi over there. It's probably all shit apples.

    EDIT: Which makes me realize that I don't think that I have ever eaten kiwi.

    What's everyone's favorite fruit?
    Only up North. Down in the South we have money to import foreign fruits.

  43. #13743
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry View Post
    Only up North. Down in the South we have money to import foreign fruits.
    Typical colonizer mentality.

  44. #13744
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    Mate, college students over here are dying due to "food insecurity." We need to feed them more, not less.
    Could you not speak to the Dean about getting some communal Fruit Machines?

  45. #13745
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Could you not speak to the Dean about getting some communal Fruit Machines?
    I might have to.

  46. #13746
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    It's more about mental health than obesity. When I turned 18 I put a pound in and got a lychee the size of a cantaloupe. You can't put a price on that sort of boost to your self-esteem.

  47. #13747
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    If you don't eat kiwi like an apple, gtfoh. (Obvs if you peel an apple, also gtfoh.)

  48. #13748
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    It's more about mental health than obesity. When I turned 18 I put a pound in and got a lychee the size of a cantaloupe. You can't put a price on that sort of boost to your self-esteem.
    You might be onto something:

    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4940663/

  49. #13749
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    You really are an animal.

    Edit: Out the way Pepe.

  50. #13750
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Don View Post
    If you don't eat kiwi like an apple, gtfoh. (Obvs if you peel an apple, also gtfoh.)
    This is worse than Igors arse chewing.

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