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View Poll Results: What kind of coffee do you drink?

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  • Instant, like a simpleton

    3 15.00%
  • Mass-market drip drivel (Starbucks)

    1 5.00%
  • Espresso, like a real man

    3 15.00%
  • "Goddamn, Jimmie, this is some serious gourmet shit"

    5 25.00%
  • I don't drink coffee, like a nonce

    8 40.00%
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Thread: The Coffee Survey

  1. #1
    Just Luca, but still a DJ Luca's Avatar
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    The Coffee Survey

    This probably deserves its own thread, given how wrong some people (Mahow) are, how ubiquitous a drink coffee is, and how much caffeine I've been drinking to stay sane.

    Go on then.

  2. #2
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Fruity berry stuff is pure wank.

    Pass it on.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Lee's Avatar
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    Coffee is awful you fucking inbreds.

  4. #4
    Just Luca, but still a DJ Luca's Avatar
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    Knew Lee was a nonce.

  5. #5
    Just Luca, but still a DJ Luca's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kikó View Post
    Fruity berry stuff is pure wank.

    Pass it on.
    I'm onside with this view; I can see how people like the fruity stuff, but I prefer chocolatey coffee. This usually means I buy South American vs. African beans.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    I've had loads of coffees that are supposedly 'amazing' by coffee snobs and I think I still prefer stuff like Nescafé Azera. Anybody getting excited about coffee is probably shit, anyway. Green tea wins on both elitism and health.

  7. #7
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    Two ca phe sua da's (iced-coffee with milk) every morning, a latte in the afternoon if I'm feeling fruity.

  8. #8
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Hot drinks are rubbish.

  9. #9
    Just Luca, but still a DJ Luca's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by John Arne View Post
    Two ca phe sua da's (iced-coffee with milk) every morning, a latte in the afternoon if I'm feeling fruity.
    Vietnamese iced coffee is wonderful, although I prefer regular milk to condensed.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Coffee, as per Lewis' Hot Drinks Theorum, is also shit.

    HOWEVER, Coffee flavoured things are not. Tiramisu

  11. #11
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    I don't drink coffee at all. Chocolate tea is far superior. Even english tea is better than coffee. Coffee has a really bad after taste and your breath suffers once you drink it.

  12. #12
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Espressos at home all the time. When I’m out working and in the petrol stations for lunch I buy the short black in Insomnia or an Americano in McDonalds. A drop of milk in both of the latter.

  13. #13
    I used to be funny.
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    I don't mind coffee but I only ever drink it if I'm in a hotel room.

  14. #14
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Someone should make a Coffee vs Tea survey

  15. #15
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Coffee, as per Lewis' Hot Drinks Theorum, is also shit.

    HOWEVER, Coffee flavoured things are not. Tiramisu
    Coffee ice cream is pretty fantastic.

  16. #16
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Coffee (including flavoured stuffs) is vile. The smell alone makes me gag.

  17. #17
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    What the fuck is chocolate tea?

  18. #18
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I like all of it, but my staple is instant. I keep some Illy filter stuff at home if I'm feeling fancy dan, and I'll have whatever when I'm out.

    I can't be my best self without at least a couple of cups a day. I think the coffee snobs are people who maybe drink it a lot less than I do. Instant is great stuff and does a job.

  19. #19
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    do yourselves a favor and pick some of this up if they have it over there:


  20. #20
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lee View Post
    Coffee is awful you fucking inbreds.
    Yep.

    Smells almost as bad as it tastes too.
    I'm a twit

  21. #21
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Italian espressos are by far the best too.

  22. #22
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    Yep.

    Smells almost as bad as it tastes too.
    Your best post ever.

  23. #23
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    When Floyd and annoying women say things like 'I need coffee', is that a genuine chemical dependency that has built up through consuming it, or some sort of learned behaviour socialised wank?

  24. #24
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    When Floyd and annoying women say things like 'I need coffee', is that a genuine chemical dependency that has built up through consuming it, or some sort of learned behaviour socialised wank?
    I don't NEED it, but my brain operates much better for its presence.

  25. #25
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    You can get caffeine withdrawals, yes.

  26. #26
    Just Luca, but still a DJ Luca's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    Italian espressos are by far the best too.
    I’m agreeing with Giggles on a food-related post?

  27. #27
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    If i'm out, I like a ristretto or an espresso. At home I'll have a nice big cafetiere in the morning.

    I am a big convert to sugar in coffee, though. Super strong dark coffee and brown sugar is quality. White sugar just makes it taste artificially sweet I reckon, but brown sugar is boss. It sorta makes my breakfast coffee a sorta pseudo-dessert.

  28. #28
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Luca View Post
    I’m agreeing with Giggles on a food-related post?
    This one can’t be argued.

  29. #29
    Now in technicolor Pen's Avatar
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    Yeah, espressos all the way, but at home we use french press and buy decent quality coffee. The brands are probably different to the ones most familiar in the UK so I won’t bore you with those. The UK is dogshit for coffee mind you, so that’s not a bad thing.

  30. #30
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    My mum always gets illy, and as a sneery indie loser I always moaned at her to get some independent boutique shit, but having tried loads of expensive "SUPER STRONG" beans/ground coffee, I had to begrudgingly agree that it is pretty great. Can get that proper rich depth of flavour without having to use shit loads.

  31. #31
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    Italian espressos are by far the best too.
    Portuguese are decent as well.

  32. #32
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kikó View Post
    Portuguese are decent as well.
    God yes. One of my best mates used to bring me into a Portuguese run cafe in Portadown before we played golf for years and the espresso was amazing.

  33. #33
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    They can't do long coffees but that Delta stuff they use is brilliant.

  34. #34
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    I don't NEED it, but my brain operates much better for its presence.
    Grow up mate.

  35. #35
    Just Luca, but still a DJ Luca's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kikó View Post
    Portuguese are decent as well.
    The coffee in Lisbon was fantastic, yes. The Spanish are pretty good at it too.

    The less said about the French, the better.

  36. #36
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    If I'm at home, stove-top Bialetti pot.

    If I'm out for a meal, espresso after dinner.

    If I'm just out and about, small flat white, sometimes with extra shot.

  37. #37
    Just Luca, but still a DJ Luca's Avatar
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    Struggling to understand how Lewis got through a Ph.D in History without hot, caffeinated drinks.

    He’ll say “superior genetics” or something, but that’s baffling.

  38. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kikó View Post
    They can't do long coffees but that Delta stuff they use is brilliant.
    Delta is fucking amazing. Easily my favourite coffee.

  39. #39
    Just Luca, but still a DJ Luca's Avatar
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    Oh, another (potentially unpopular) opinion:

    People who have coffee with milk after lunchtime are an abomination.
    Last edited by Luca; 25-03-2020 at 08:32 PM.

  40. #40
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Alright Italy, wind it in.

  41. #41
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Pouring hot water over a coffee filter is “fancy dan”. The more you know

  42. #42
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I'm under attack from the man-children and the snobs all at once, it's like being Tony Blair.

  43. #43
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Luca View Post
    Oh, another (potentially unpopular) opinion:

    People who have coffee with milk after lunchtime are an abomination.
    I have my coffee whenever I can get my coffee. Which one I get dictates the need for milk.

  44. #44
    Just Luca, but still a DJ Luca's Avatar
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    A splash is probably fine, but my girlfriend has a cappuccino after dinner. It’s a meal ffs.

  45. #45
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Evenings mean espresso. 1pm you can have a flat white or cappucino imo.

  46. #46
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Luca View Post
    Struggling to understand how Lewis got through a Ph.D in History without hot, caffeinated drinks.

    He’ll say “superior genetics” or something, but that’s baffling.
    It's sitting about reading and thinking. Who can't physically cope with that?

  47. #47
    Just Luca, but still a DJ Luca's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    It's sitting about reading and thinking. Who can't physically cope with that?
    Caffeine helps with mental alertness, not physical strength.

  48. #48
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I'm obviously operating at about half capacity.

  49. #49
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Add me to the "don't drink coffee" list, which seems to overlap with the "forum dons" list quite well.

  50. #50
    Just Luca, but still a DJ Luca's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by igor_balis View Post
    My mum always gets illy, and as a sneery indie loser I always moaned at her to get some independent boutique shit, but having tried loads of expensive "SUPER STRONG" beans/ground coffee, I had to begrudgingly agree that it is pretty great. Can get that proper rich depth of flavour without having to use shit loads.
    Illy and Lavazza are lovely, from one "sneery indie loser" (at least when it comes to coffee) to another. Crack on.

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