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Thread: The little things in life that fuck you off

  1. #6301
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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    If the road becomes empty, why would you wait to cross?
    I got a ticket in Montreal for this.

    International crime

  2. #6302
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raoul Duke View Post
    The true mark of a great is being able to peel it all off in one go, unbroken and make an orange cock and balls
    Toggle Spoiler

  3. #6303
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Even Spikeys orange peel dick is embarrassingly narrow.

  4. #6304
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    You guys don't just give it a little nibble to get the skin started peeling?

    Source: I'm from Florida.

  5. #6305
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    You can give my orange skinny cock a nibble anytime, sweetheart.

  6. #6306
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    Don't you tempt me with a good time you fuckin tease.

  7. #6307
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    I do, but only because I have virtually no nails.

    Excellent effort on getting the jap's eye on the peeling.

    I'm not sure I've ever used, or considered the racist connotations of, that colloquialism before.

  8. #6308
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    It’s not discrimination if everyone does it.
    I'm a twit

  9. #6309
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Do you reckon they call it an Eskimo/Stewart Lee eye in Japan?

  10. #6310
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Like, for fuck sake. Easy peel my bollix.



  11. #6311
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    Start near the stem surely?

  12. #6312
    Senior Member wullie's Avatar
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    With proper easy peelers you can dig in anywhere and it comes clean off, you've been had there.

  13. #6313
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Queenslander View Post
    Start near the stem surely?
    The pith should still come off though.

  14. #6314
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    We dont have fancy oranges.
    Last edited by Queenslander; 17-01-2019 at 09:42 AM.

  15. #6315
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    You need to give it a good roll around in your hands first to loosen the skin, when it's tight like that.

    Out of context this post is bad.
    I'm a twit

  16. #6316
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    Giggles having a decently started peel going to stop mid-sesh for a quick pic is absolutely APPALLING to my good Floridian nature.

  17. #6317
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bruhnaldo View Post
    Giggles having a decently started peel going to stop mid-sesh for a quick pic is absolutely APPALLING to my good Floridian nature.
    A decently started peel? That bit came off in about six different pieces.

  18. #6318
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    You telling me you can't dig a nail in under what you're showing and finish that off?

    The state of this.

  19. #6319
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bruhnaldo View Post
    You telling me you can't dig a nail in under what you're showing and finish that off?

    The state of this.
    That white shit between the skin and the orange should be coming too and it wasn't. It also says "Easy Peeler" on the pack, so fuck that. Bin.

  20. #6320
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Giggles clearly has problems.

  21. #6321
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    He's wasted an orange cause he's afraid of the white bits holy shit i'm incensed.

    "The pith of the orange — the white part between the skin and fruit — can be sour or bitter but actually contains just as much vitamin C as the fruit itself, with a good deal of fiber," said someone on google.

  22. #6322
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bruhnaldo View Post
    He's wasted an orange cause he's afraid of the white bits holy shit i'm incensed.

    "The pith of the orange — the white part between the skin and fruit — can be sour or bitter but actually contains just as much vitamin C as the fruit itself, with a good deal of fiber," said someone on google.
    That's grand, but it tastes fucking shite.

  23. #6323
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Bruh, you've been much improved lately, but don't start digging out Giggles. I will swarm on man.

  24. #6324
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    He could at least offer to send me some proper oranges.

  25. #6325
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    Mans want to just toss delicious citrus into the garbage because it wasn't EASY PEEL™ enough but reckon I ought to rush to send him PROPER oranges.

  26. #6326
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bruhnaldo View Post
    Mans want to just toss delicious citrus into the garbage because it wasn't EASY PEEL™ enough but reckon I ought to rush to send him PROPER oranges.
    Ones where the horrible white crap comes off with the skin. Sound.

  27. #6327
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Mobile sites that pester you about downloading their app. Reddit is hell for it. I don't want your fucking app, leave me alone.

  28. #6328
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Reddit really needs a 'remember' option for that, it's seriously annoying.

  29. #6329
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    Am I the only one who'll watch a video on facebook and then when the mid-vid ad starts just move on to the next post?

  30. #6330
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Yes. Nobody else does that.

  31. #6331
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    Be nice.

  32. #6332
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I have a cold, so fuck you. Fuck me. Fuck sake. I'd fucking stab @Giggles for one of his shitty oranges right now. Pith me up.

  33. #6333
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Avin a pith?

  34. #6334
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Pith my face.

  35. #6335
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    Pith in my mouth...

  36. #6336
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    That's right, abuse me, kick me, pith me, stab me, axe me
    Knife me, fork me, fuck me, suck me, beat me, pith me
    Blow me, eat me, stab me, abuse my pith, abuse my body
    I'm a twit

  37. #6337
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    That's right, abuse me, kick me, pith me, stab me, axe me
    Knife me, fork me, fuck me, suck me, beat me, pith me
    Blow me, eat me, stab me, abuse my pith, abuse my body
    You are a bloke I want to have a beer with!

  38. #6338
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Blue Moon. Slice of Orange. Lots of pith.

  39. #6339
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Swirl and slam dunk.

  40. #6340
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Blue Moon. Slice of Orange. Lots of pith.
    X

  41. #6341
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Queenslander View Post
    You are a bloke I want to have a beer with!
    I'm a twit

  42. #6342
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    People who phone you up to tell you they've sent you an email. Thanks a lot, how would I ever have noticed otherwise.

  43. #6343
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    Good to see the international sign of "answer my fucking e-mail, dickhead" is indeed international.

  44. #6344
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Disco View Post
    People who phone you up to tell you they've sent you an email. Thanks a lot, how would I ever have noticed otherwise.
    One of my French customers takes this a step further and faxes me to tell me he's sent an email.

  45. #6345
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Fax machines are still used?

  46. #6346
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    I use our fax machine literally every day unfortunately.

    (I do some work in medical billing).

  47. #6347
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Yeah, they are good for sending private stuff quickly. Apparently the Army loves them.

  48. #6348
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    You can easily set up a fax-email doodad as well so you can receive faxes without needing a machine from the 1950's sat on a desk somewhere.

  49. #6349
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    I had no idea you could fax things to e-mail addresses until yesterday and boy am I excited about that.

  50. #6350
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    There are two urinals in the toilets at work and one of them notoriously filled up if you had a big wee, and took ages to drain. The other one was better, and if you had a big enough wee it would just about flow back up over the grate and you felt a great sense of achievement. This achievement was easily done on the first one, but an actual accomplishment if you managed it on the latter.

    Went in the other day and there was a sign on the broken one: DO NOT USE! HAS BEEN REPORTED. I Snapchatted this to @Mike who instructed me to wee on the sign. I did not.

    Went in this morning and the sign has gone. Has it been repaired? I tested it. It’s been repaired. I had a massive wee, and not only did it not fill up like it used to, but I couldn’t even get back above the grate. Someone had really gone to town fixing it.

    Just been for another wee now – another really long one too – and decided to use the old faithful urinal. To my absolutely dismay, I couldn’t get my wee back above the grate. Clearly repairing the drainage of the other one had cleared this one too. No accomplishment, no feat, no sense of achievement.

    I’m devastated.
    I'm a twit

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