December: Rockin' around the Premier League

[niko_cee]

Let's not pretend most of the women aren't also dreadful. The lack of any meaningful journalistic input into TV stuff is generally what makes it rubbish [RIP The Sunday Supplement], just party line presenters and left school at 15 footballers [male or female] who have very little of interest to say for the most part. Getting upset about it is a bit performative though as I'm not sure what is expected. There were no halcyon days of football punditry. Just Alan Hansen saying you couldn't win anything with kids and the banterlads on Sky.

[Ian]

Oh yeah loads of them are also garbage. Professional footballers just generally fall into two categories of either having nothing to say beyond platitudes and cliches or just being contrarian twats, but being matey with the people they're talking about doesn't help.

It'd be much better if they had journos in the mix but then you'd just get the same "but you haven't played the game " nonsense.

[Jimmy Floyd]

What footballers do is instinct and muscle memory, most don't have a clue what's going on. Those that do become coaches. Punditry must be a very boring job. The best ones are those, like Ian Wright, Chris Kamara or McCoist, who actually convey an enjoyment of the game.

[Spikey M]

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[Lewis]

I love that account.

[Lofty]

That Leeds bird with the massive cans should be fronting Soccer Saturday, Sky Italia style. Makes Jules Breach look like Neal Maupay.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Turning the commentary off for a Goodison game is a very different experience. The grievance of these people is incredible. Imagine being a grown adult and spending two hours out in the December night-time cold, concentrating hard, just in case Anthony Gordon gets the ball and you must then contort your body to emit the noise büüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüü using every molecule of oxygen that passes through your sorry lungs, and for this to really mean something to you, for this to be a large part of your identity as a man. This is who you are. This is what makes you whole.

[Don]

What the fuck has DCL just done, the raging homosexual piece of shit?

[Jimmy Floyd]

It was pretty much full Rosenthal wasn't it.

Joelinton gives us all hope. Maybe we should move Nicolas Jackson back into midfield.

[Manc]

Is it just my eyes or is the Prime coverage a lot smoother than Sky?

[Baz]

Yeah Prime picture quality is second to none.

[Giggles]

They're complete lockout here. Not bothered myself but lots of people complaining that you can't even buy them.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The second half of this game has been borderline unwatchable with the number of players from both sides going down injured and stopping the play. Seems like footballers just can't cope physically at the moment.

[niko_cee]

Bring me the one you call McNeil.

Top quality backing off from the Newcastle defender.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Some world class dilly-dallying by Trippier to cause it. Don't see that much these days.

Wait, is that Beto coming back from injury? The CL awaits.

[Spikey M]

The second half of this game has been borderline unwatchable with the number of players from both sides going down injured and stopping the play. Seems like footballers just can't cope physically at the moment.

I've no idea how true it is, but I've heard some mumbling that the lengthy stoppages for VAR checks are to blame, as their muscles are cooling down while they stand around waiting.

[Waffdon]

Some world class dilly-dallying by Trippier to cause it. Don't see that much these days.

Wait, is that Beto coming back from injury? The CL awaits.

He’s just done it again

[niko_cee]

Imagine how much of a roasting Trent would get if he'd been making the sort of mistakes his more illustrious betters have been these last few days.

Fucking useless.

[Waffdon]

I've no idea how true it is, but I've heard some mumbling that the lengthy stoppages for VAR checks are to blame as their muscles are cooling down while they stand around waiting.

Would make sense. You have players playing 100+ minutes every single game without fail, sometimes even longer than that.

Can understand Newcastle looking knackered. They’ve barley made a change to the XI or even a sub for the past few weeks.

[Waffdon]

Imagine how much of a roasting Trent would get if he'd been making the sort of mistakes his more illustrious betters have been these last few days.

Fucking useless.

Have a day off

[Jimmy Floyd]

The Trent thing isn't even a question, Southgate's attitude to him is pathetic.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Can understand Newcastle looking knackered. They’ve barley made a change to the XI or even a sub for the past few weeks.

Managers all refusing to use many/any of their five substitutions is another thing to remember when they're in floods of tears about fixture congestion in a couple of weeks' time.

[niko_cee]

All that's missing here is a hamstring injury for Gordon or a booking for diving to really send the fans home happy.

On the sub thing, why have amazon got that sub counter up for some games and not others, or does it only appear in the second half or once a sub has been made? Seems pointless either way.

[Shindig]

In our defence, everyone else has dislocated shoulders.

[Gray Fox]

More dislocated shoulders would be much appreciated though.

[niko_cee]

How's your luck West Ham/Jarrod Bowen.

[Waffdon]

That Everton goal would have made prime Barcelona very proud. Must have had about 30 odd passes in it.

Trippier playing Beto onside for good measures

[Ben]

Is it just my eyes or is the Prime coverage a lot smoother than Sky?

4K streaming > satellite feed. Just a shame their production is amateur as fuck.

[Waffdon]

Spursy.

[Luke Emia]

Spursy.

Strange because when I switched it on after 10 minutes I had to switch it back off because I thought Tyldsley was going to suck Ange off.

It’s unbearable watching them at the minute. You’d think from the way they were the Pep’s Barcelona and 90’s United rolled into one.

[niko_cee]

It's probably really only been the dugout years where spurs haven't been horrifically overrated by the media, and even then there was the whole 'Arry/Gareth/Smallpockets period, so welcome to the past.

Just wait until Ange succeeds Sir Gareth and picks mongs like Winks on the regular.

[Spikey M]

I mean, they do have 11 players out injured, so they're either calling on the shite they couldn't sell in the summer or playing fullbacks out of position to avoid having Eric Dier on the pitch. It's going to remain a shambles until that isn't the case.

[Spikey M]

It's probably really only been the dugout years where spurs haven't been horrifically overrated by the media, and even then there was the whole 'Arry/Gareth/Smallpockets period, so welcome to the past.

Just wait until Ange succeeds Sir Gareth and picks mongs like Winks on the regular.

He sold Winks to Leicester so that seems fairly unlikely.

[niko_cee]

Who's the other one then, Skipp?

[Spikey M]

Who's the other one then, Skipp?

I think calling him "the other one" is probably harsh on Winks. Winks is atleast a capable if unspectacular box to box midfielder. I'm yet to discover what Skipp offers.

[niko_cee]

That's hit him on the shoulder, surely?

[niko_cee]

Nothing like watching unrelenting legions of professional footballers desperately bustling in front of one another with the sole intent of falling over and hopefully getting a foul.

[phonics]

Mate, Spurs lost? Mate? Maaate.

[niko_cee]

Someone chuck up a January transfer thread, I want to lol at this:

Manchester United are willing to listen to offers for 31-year-old Brazil midfielder Casemiro, 30-year-old French defender Raphael Varane, and England winger Jadon Sancho, 23, as manager Erik ten Hag attempts to trim down his squad.

Bet they've all got disgustingly long contracts.

[Boydy]

Is Casemiro shite now or has he fallen out with him or what?

[niko_cee]

No idea.

Sad thing is they're probably all prime Saudi league targets.

[Ian]

Hamstring issue I think. He hasn't been nearly as good this year (despite still being among our top scorers) though I assume he'd still be in the team given the alternatives.

[Don]

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[randomlegend]

We are massive.

[thommo]

Your images are massive, you dolt.

[Dark Soldier]

Yanited Yanited

[Kikó]

Is Casemiro shite now or has he fallen out with him or what?

As Ian says, injury but he was struggling to be the only man in midfield in the 4-1-5 formation earlier in the season. Varane has apparently spat his dummy out over Evans (??) And Sancho is a mess.

[wullie]

Delighted to see Rooney in the Birmingham dugout tonight, long may he reign.

[Spikey M]

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[Baz]

Just watching a long Souness interview that I somehow missed before. Long thought it, but he is a legend, one of the only good honest men in the sport.

When the ‘hanging out the back of her’ Richard Keys scandal video came out, I felt like my respect for Souness grew a lot.