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Thread: The All New, All Shit, Relationship Thread

  1. #5451
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Waffdon View Post
    Completely off the rails
    Thumb it into magic.

  2. #5452
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Waffdon View Post
    Completely off the rails
    What've you been upto?
    I'm a twit

  3. #5453
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Whoever said before I shouldn’t think I’m ‘okay’ or using a women to cope with stuff when I posted before was correct. I’m so much worse than I was before meeting her. Horrendous stuff, boys

  4. #5454
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    Part of the reason, beyond my complete and utter lack of attractiveness these days, I can't imagine trying to tie my wagon to some poor unsuspecting soul's life.

    I got too much shit going on up in the ol' brain to burden others.

  5. #5455
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    I have a date tomorrow.

  6. #5456
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    Yes king!!!

  7. #5457
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    I have a date tomorrow.
    I'll let @Spikey M do the honours.

    (But yes, that's good news. Nice one).

  8. #5458
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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  9. #5459
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bruhnaldo View Post
    Part of the reason, beyond my complete and utter lack of attractiveness these days, I can't imagine trying to tie my wagon to some poor unsuspecting soul's life.

    I got too much shit going on up in the ol' brain to burden others.
    Dont be like that.

    There’s someone for everyone. And you’re really nice.
    I'm a twit

  10. #5460
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    I miss being thumbed x

  11. #5461
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    Let's say that's true and I'm honestly a really nice, pleasant person, bursting with personality who'd do anything for anyone...

    What I'm saying is my shit is all fucked up mentally and whatever temporary happiness found in the comforting love and embrace of others would end up being construed by my brain as a very elaborate ploy by the other party to use me strictly for their own benefit (like free meals on dates, or a rebound from someone else in their past, or whatever the fuck) even if that weren't the case at all.

    I've dated a few really nice girls and just invented reasons to get out of the relationship (albeit this was a really long time ago.) Now that I'm fat and generally repulsive I don't even have to try to give it a chance because the opportunity won't present itself.

    I won't date people "in my league" because I'm not attracted to them so I don't see the point. I won't date people "out of my league" because I would pity them for tying themselves to such a repulsive human and in turn figure out ways to detach and save them the time.

    I'm fine with this because I don't plan on living very long and all of this is temporary anyways.

    That's all I mean. I don't mean it in the sense of "gosh there's someone out there for me I'm sure!". There's not. Love is just the chemical imbalance in our brains telling us to procreate. I figure this idk "depression" if you can call it that (I don't think it is I'm just looking for a word) is the brain's natural defense against the overpopulation of Earth.

    I was chosen to die alone. Sure, we all are technically, but I'm not naive enough to think love is deeper than that. That's why so many people end up divorced, I think (no offense to anyone). The brain stops producing those chemicals and since you were born into this world alone it's only natural for the brain to want to revert back to it's natural setting instead of constantly being around someone and tying your fortunes to them entirely.

  12. #5462
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    Dont be like that.

    There’s someone for everyone. And you’re really nice.
    Even for me?

  13. #5463
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Jesus bruhnaldo lose some weight then and get a grip lad.

  14. #5464
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bruhnaldo View Post
    Let's say that's true and I'm honestly a really nice, pleasant person, bursting with personality who'd do anything for anyone...

    What I'm saying is my shit is all fucked up mentally and whatever temporary happiness found in the comforting love and embrace of others would end up being construed by my brain as a very elaborate ploy by the other party to use me strictly for their own benefit (like free meals on dates, or a rebound from someone else in their past, or whatever the fuck) even if that weren't the case at all.

    I've dated a few really nice girls and just invented reasons to get out of the relationship (albeit this was a really long time ago.) Now that I'm fat and generally repulsive I don't even have to try to give it a chance because the opportunity won't present itself.

    I won't date people "in my league" because I'm not attracted to them so I don't see the point. I won't date people "out of my league" because I would pity them for tying themselves to such a repulsive human and in turn figure out ways to detach and save them the time.

    I'm fine with this because I don't plan on living very long and all of this is temporary anyways.

    That's all I mean. I don't mean it in the sense of "gosh there's someone out there for me I'm sure!". There's not. Love is just the chemical imbalance in our brains telling us to procreate. I figure this idk "depression" if you can call it that (I don't think it is I'm just looking for a word) is the brain's natural defense against the overpopulation of Earth.

    I was chosen to die alone. Sure, we all are technically, but I'm not naive enough to think love is deeper than that. That's why so many people end up divorced, I think (no offense to anyone). The brain stops producing those chemicals and since you were born into this world alone it's only natural for the brain to want to revert back to it's natural setting instead of constantly being around someone and tying your fortunes to them entirely.
    Have you considered a mass shooting?

  15. #5465
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    Get a grip of what? I feel like I've got it all pretty squared away tbh.

    More people should live in reality, I think. Less disappointment.

  16. #5466
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Have you considered a mass shooting?
    I don't blame others for my misfortune and would never want to hurt anybody

    My problems are entirely of my own accord.

    I think tha'ts the problem in our society. Most people like to blame everyone but themselves, I have no such luxury, I know it was all me.

    Anyways Magic where you taking the lady?

  17. #5467
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    Lol are you kidding me. We're meeting in a pub for a drink. I purposely arranged after dinner time to avoid the awkward paying thing. If I don't like the bitch then it's an easy, financial pain free escape.

  18. #5468
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    You watched me being taken advantage of for 11 god damn years. Never again. I'll put her in the ground on the first date if I have to.

  19. #5469
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bruhnaldo View Post
    Get a grip of what? I feel like I've got it all pretty squared away tbh.

    More people should live in reality, I think. Less disappointment.
    It's sad shit mate. Why do you consider yourself to be 'generally repulsive'? Alright, you said you're fat; but you could do something about that if it gets you down to this extent. For all the lolling we do at your expense for being American you seem pretty sound and come across as a nice person, so the image you have of yourself seems a bit odd.

  20. #5470
    Fuck like you cook.
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    The whole post came across as odd but you're right. Why wouldn't they pay any attention to you, Bruh? Have you never seen the fitties with the men with titties? Do you believe all women are shallow enough to judge you on your appearance only? Their shopping lists are much more extensive that that. You might tick off a few of their boxes for all you know.

    I won't date people "in my league" because I'm not attracted to them so I don't see the point. I won't date people "out of my league" because I would pity them for tying themselves to such a repulsive human and in turn figure out ways to detach and save them the time.
    This stuck out for me. You won't date people in your league because you probably aren't even sure what league you're in yourself and being denied by a minger that you thought you had a chance with is the ultimate kick in the balls whilst dating a girl out of your league wouldn't bring pity but fear that she'll quickly leave for something better. Your issue is clearly your noggin' so forget about relationships completely as you have and focus more on getting your shit together properly. By that I mean lose some of the weight you seemingly have an issue with. Seek help or talk to us lot about your mental woes. You're only a young lad, it would be a shame to see you waste some good years of your life dealing with shit that can be managed better.

  21. #5471
    Senior Member Spoonsky's Avatar
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    Plenty of people die next to the person they love, Bruh. I support you for wanting to sort your own problems first, but being so cynical about it is just a defence mechanism.

    Deep down you’re a kind and soft-hearted guy. But you gotta love yourself first :-)

  22. #5472
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    I really don’t understand the people who think life is all pain and disappointment

  23. #5473
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    White male privilege wasted on Bruh.

  24. #5474
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry View Post
    Even for me?
    Sure.

    Let us not forget that this guy:

    Toggle Spoiler


    Ended up married to...

    Toggle Spoiler
    I'm a twit

  25. #5475
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Yeah but 'Mahow' isn't as sweet a nickname as 'Toadfish.'

  26. #5476
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    Farking hell thank you for reminding me about Madeleine West.

  27. #5477
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    They've had some stupid storyline recently where she isn't really dead and she is still a right bird.

  28. #5478
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Bruh out-inceling How is a nice twist.

  29. #5479
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    Lol can't wait for my new date. Just got a spanking haircut only to get a message saying she has to cancel because her gran isn't well (even though she's going on holiday for a week as of Saturday morning..hmm!).

    See this is why it's good to not book anywhere or anything. I only lost £8 on train tickets but I gained in not spending any drink money.

  30. #5480
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Pics of the haircut.

  31. #5481
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    It will be one of them Jack Grealish wanker haircuts because he asked for what the youngsters have.

  32. #5482
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Definitely shaved all the way up the sides like a man fully embracing the crisis.

  33. #5483
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Pattern cut into the side?

  34. #5484
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Couple of lines out the eyebrow as well.

  35. #5485
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Shag faster stripes.

  36. #5486
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    3 at the sides and a trim on top. The most boring nonchalant haircut in the book.

    Ok so I lost £13 on an unneeded haircut as well, but at least now I can mow the grass, get the washing done and make my tea at my own leisure.

  37. #5487
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Yeah I’d much rather hear about boring household jobs, than how much you’ve missed the taste of a battery acid flavoured stench trench.
    I'm a twit

  38. #5488
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    I'm sitting eating a quorn burger off of a minnie mouse plate and sweetcorn out the tin. The Bloodhound Gang is on Alexa.

    I'm gonna hit the gym then have a foamy bath and read my book on mastering dating.

    #singlelife

  39. #5489
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I remember reading a kids book and the protagonists parents get divorced, he goes round to his Dads and it's well depressing.

    Yours sounds worse.

    Like Milhouses Dad with the racecar bed is beating you.

  40. #5490
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    Give it a few years and he'll be like Timmy's dad off Monkey Dust.

  41. #5491
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    I had a racecar bed as a kid.

  42. #5492
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I forgot what the follow up line was:




  43. #5493
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    I sleep in the bed my wife was no doubt getting fucked by another man in.

  44. #5494
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Is it shaped like a racing car?

  45. #5495
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    You took the bed when you left home?

  46. #5496
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    As of 4:10am I am a dad. Little fucker is already mocking me with his full head of hair.

  47. #5497
    I used to be funny.
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    Congratulations.

  48. #5498
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    Terrific stuff. Congratulations.

  49. #5499
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Congratulations. Welcome to the Dad group. PM Bamster for your membership pack.

  50. #5500
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    As of 4:10am I am a dad. Little fucker is already mocking me with his full head of hair.
    Shave it into a Shearer Island. You've got to assert dominance ASAP.

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