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Thread: What shall your weekend bring?

  1. #2701
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Must have been some blowjob.

  2. #2702
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by John View Post
    You don't look at all well, Phonics. Is there a bag of chemo medicine hooked up just off camera?
    I think he looks unusually healthy and filled out. Well done Phonics. The Shooter McGavin hair doesn't help like.

  3. #2703
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    I think he looks unusually healthy and filled out. Well done Phonics. The Shooter McGavin hair doesn't help like.
    You calling me fat mate?

  4. #2704
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    By your own standards yes.

  5. #2705
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Every three months the best pub in the world (which happens to be in St Helens) has a beer festival, where they go from having the normal range of about 12 ales, to having about 25. Went there yesterday and it was as good as ever - apols if you follow me on Twitter cos we rate all the beers on Untappd and it goes on Twitter - and then at half five I met my mate after he’d finished work. I was drunk by now so stuck to lemonade in Wetherspoons and then we were walking to another pub that sells ale cos I was ready to get back in it when I had to storm in and ask if I was hallucinating cos the grotty bar we used to go A LOT ten years ago was open again. It has changed its name from Bar Bullion to The Vault but my god it was back! So we went in there (they do ale now too so happy days) and it was amazing. My mate bought everyone in there a shot to celebrate, and I spent at least an hour talking to a stranger about GG Allin cos he had a ponytail so I just went up to him and declared he must like rock n roll. Took a pic with him too, cos that’s what I do.

    But yeah was good. Just been for a curry tonight too so a pretty good weekend.

    I’m still buzzing that the Bullion is back.
    I'm a twit

  6. #2706
    I used to be funny.
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    Lunch with the family for the nephew's birthday. The pub had a cocktail cabinet with Pacman, Centipede, Donkey Kong and three other classics. I wish I'd spotted it before we were leaving.

  7. #2707
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Cable-tying all the cables in my house this weekend. Ive got the velcro strip versions which means they can be used forever. Not exciting.

  8. #2708
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    In every room of your house?

  9. #2709
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Queenslander View Post
    In every room of your house?
    Im going to start with my gaming command center and see how it goes. I imagine it will take an age and I will quit half way through.

  10. #2710
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    I work in a pretty big branch of a big bank in a pretty big town. There's a much smaller (~10k population) town about 7 miles away that also had a branch of this bank, and I used to work the odd shift there. The branch there shut down at Christmas. A huge percentage of customers have just been taught by their kids how direct debits and ATMs work, but the people who actually need to come to a bank have to come to our branch now.

    Anyway, there's 3 pubs there who do their business banking with us, and the managers are all really sound funny blokes, so me and my colleague jokingly agreed to get a bus over there and do a mini pub crawl. We actually did it tonight.

    Definitely about the 50th time I've done something crap because I've convinced myself beforehand that the inherent crapness of an idea is the very thing that'll make it fun or at least funny. As it was I misread the bus timetable so we had to get a £20 taxi, then get a pint in three really crap pubs. In pubs 1 and 2 the managers weren't working. In pub 3 he only came out when the girl on the bar heard our pathetic story and buzzed the bell for him. He came downstairs looking confused, pissed off and disheveled. Saw us, shook our hands, said "alright lads, sorry i'm feeling rough, gonna go back to bed", then went back upstairs. Smoking outside afterwards I said to my workmate "that 5 second conversation was literally the only reason we've come here".

    We then paid another £20 for another taxi back home after I'd convinced my mate not to "have a look round" the bona fide brothel on the high street.

  11. #2711
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    Cleaning the bathroom and I have definitely over done it with the bleach fumes. Time for me to drop tools and drink beer at the pub.

  12. #2712
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel View Post
    Cable-tying all the cables in my house this weekend. Ive got the velcro strip versions which means they can be used forever. Not exciting.
    It was really satisfying in the end. Everything is neat and tidy with sticky labels on each wire. Nice.

  13. #2713
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    Photos?

  14. #2714
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    cables are all tucked away nicely. I would have to move desks and tables to show off the work .

  15. #2715
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Should have thought ahead. Get them shifted.

  16. #2716
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Don't tell me what I should have done.

  17. #2717
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Sorry.

  18. #2718
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    Well this is awkward.

  19. #2719
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Don't tell me how to feel.

  20. #2720
    Senior Member Bam's Avatar
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    Well this is awkward.

  21. #2721
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    Finally got around to cleaning the inside of my car out after a bit of neglect. Felt really good getting it all vacuumed and tidy. Like a brand new car.

    Anyone have any handy tips for streak-free windows?

  22. #2722
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Window spray and balled up newspapers

  23. #2723
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    Used to do the newspaper bit when we still got the local paper and that does work wonders.

    I tried to just do it with a regular chamois cloth, even using the good ol' RainX, but still found streaks last night.

    Might have to just pick up one of the little cheap circulars I guess.

  24. #2724
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Dunno where else to put this.

    https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/...lect-quiz.html

    Toggle Spoiler

  25. #2725
    Pretty Much Amazing Mike's Avatar
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  26. #2726
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    I'm a twit

  27. #2727
    Pretty Much Amazing Mike's Avatar
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    Southern Fairy @Baz

  28. #2728
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    fak off u paff.
    I'm a twit

  29. #2729
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    It's put me around Norwich which is very wrong.

  30. #2730
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    It wouldn't show my result on my phone. Which is even wrongerer.

  31. #2731
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    My results also reflect where I am from.

  32. #2732
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Portsmouth?

  33. #2733
    I used to be funny.
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    They got me right. They should, given how specific geordie is.

  34. #2734
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    They got me right.

  35. #2735
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Portsmouth?
    *changes vote*

  36. #2736
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    As if anyone in Hull says 'mother'.

  37. #2737
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I say 'mam', but that would have to be written as 'me mam', and then before you know it I'm that idiot who writes in jibberish for that Jock newspaper.

  38. #2738
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Mam or ma. It's always so hard to find a card that doesn't say Mum.

  39. #2739
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Maw

  40. #2740
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Our ma.

    Pronounced exactly like the first parts of Har Mar Superstar.
    I'm a twit

  41. #2741
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I still need to record that wdytoe speaking of accents.

  42. #2742
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    I still need to record that wdytoe speaking of accents.
    Get on it.
    I'm a twit

  43. #2743
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    Get on it.
    I've to drive to Cappaquinn on Monday, it will be done.

  44. #2744
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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  45. #2745
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    close enough, though i'm basically right at the bottom of the shaded area.

  46. #2746
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    watched a poker tournament from 2004 until 1am last night, up at 7, in work 8.30-1.30, fifa tournament i didn't win from 2-7, QUIPLASH 8-11, then went out into town until about 2.

    a friend of a friend offered me his bag of drugs to "do a gum of", but my licked thumb accidentally managed to pick up a big rock of it, so i just kept it in my palm until i went home, and have since cut and insufflated it. was almost certainly paracetamol, pro plus and flour but the element of (accidentally, as usual) being a massive twat and not spending any money has given me the illusion of fun.

  47. #2747
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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  48. #2748
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    I still need to record that wdytoe speaking of accents.
    Do it!

  49. #2749
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Queenslander View Post
    Do it!
    +1

  50. #2750
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Nowhere else to stick this, but I was leaving the gym earlier, and somebody I have never spoken to goes 'Here mate, you're a chef aren't you', as if for me to confirm it to his gym buddy. I said no, he asked where I worked, I said where, and then he tells me that someone told him I was a chef. What sort of shit rumour is that to be the subject of?

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