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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #2151
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    Once the job is complete you need to email back and tell her you sent the same file again. Office pettiness

  2. #2152
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I already did after thanking her for her quick reply that took an hour. I have no patience for these people.

  3. #2153
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    That's a pretty shitty attitude to give the place that offered you an entry to the industry, no?

  4. #2154
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    I'm talking about an actual human being here.
    Oh.

  5. #2155
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    That's a pretty shitty attitude to give the place that offered you an entry to the industry, no?


    Lol

  6. #2156
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    The machines are dickheads as well tbf.

    Go all Office Space on it/her/everything in the office, I'm sure you could get your hands on a baseball bat.

  7. #2157
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    That's a pretty shitty attitude to give the place that offered you an entry to the industry, no?
    I don’t work for a printers.

  8. #2158
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    Alright, Pavel.

  9. #2159
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    Anyone able to go through my CV for me lads?

  10. #2160
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I mean I've read enough to know the ones I personally don't like but that doesn't necessarily mean I know what an actual good one is.

    My top tip is don't have Word Art as your header.

  11. #2161
    I used to be funny.
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    No pay rise this month it seems. Union's rejected their offer. Hope this doesn't drag of for six months like the last one.

  12. #2162
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    I mean I've read enough to know the ones I personally don't like but that doesn't necessarily mean I know what an actual good one is.

    My top tip is don't have Word Art as your header.
    *Removes Word Art*

  13. #2163
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    'There's a few months here that need filling in...'

  14. #2164
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    I'm sure he did some sort of job while in there, no?

    *Hygiene technician*

  15. #2165
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    Looking back it was quite nice not having to graft.

  16. #2166
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    I'm sure he did some sort of job while in there, no?

    *Hygiene technician*
    Was that making sure the soap didn't touch the floor?

  17. #2167
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    I'll defer to the expert.

  18. #2168
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    I’ve been doing this ‘House Leader’ role for the past year - it’s not much, assembly every half term, school/charity event organisation etc and paid about £500 for the year. Had a meeting with the Co-Heads yesterday where they told me that the job is now going to be done by a sixth former (unpaid of course). Stings a bit to be told that they think a 16/17 year old can do the same job (especially as they’ve been fucking useless this year) but whatever.

    They’ve also just gone from 5 to 3 heads of year (so no opportunity there for me) and will probably scrap the second in department role as well. Still, at least we’ve got a huge senior leadership team and that will definitely improve pupil progress.

  19. #2169
    I used to be funny.
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    Gonna have my fucking hands full next week.

  20. #2170
    Fuck like you cook.
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    I called the job I agreed to take in Surrey this morning and opted against it. It's been a couple of weeks now and I really don't know what I want to do.


  21. #2171
    Fuck like you cook.
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    So a couple more interviews the last two days and I think I'm set on the south coast again. I have to share this though because it boggles the mind how it even gets responses but sure enough, I've had more than a few this last week.

    My CV.



    Personally I think it's a masterpiece.

  22. #2172
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    I am also surprised you've been getting responses.
    I'm a twit

  23. #2173
    Fuck like you cook.
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    It gets worse, Baz.

    The remainder.


  24. #2174
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Fucking hell

  25. #2175
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    That bit under your latest job reads like a post on here.

  26. #2176
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Guernsey really is an island of Front-Line Security Officer.

  27. #2177
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    If you haven't created that for comedy effect to post on here then I don't know what to say.

  28. #2178
    Fuck like you cook.
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    I'm 100% serious.

    Fact is this, if I kept the properCV then it's just going to get lost among the rest but if I get so much as phone call or an interview then I've pretty much got the job. I thought it would stand out and although I was only have assing the applications, it's the one that keeps getting the replies.

  29. #2179
    Senior Member 7om's Avatar
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    I've seen a lot of CVs and honestly, I'd probably recommend this one for interview just so I could meet the nutter who wrote it.

  30. #2180
    Fuck like you cook.
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    Perhaps that's what potential employers think. I then use the gift of the gab to talk about pretty much anything other than the job I've applied for.
    I'm basically Boris Johnson right now.

    Where's my wine box...

  31. #2181
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Jesus.

    Why are people not instantly shredding that?

  32. #2182
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry View Post
    Jesus.

    Why are people not instantly shredding that?
    The honest nature of the applicant screams off the page? I even masked my weaknesses which is basically all of it.

  33. #2183
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Things like 'pizza's' is probably more likely to get it binned. Good work Smiff.

  34. #2184
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Job above in Dundalk got cancelled at about 3pm today which was a real bonus seeing as I was in west Cork for 9am. Time for a brown bottle

  35. #2185
    Fuck like you cook.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    Things like 'pizza's' is probably more likely to get it binned. Good work Smiff.
    Pizza can get fucked tbh. I've got more scars on my arms from being burnt by that pizza oven than I have scars from being a prick.

  36. #2186
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Got paid 5k this month.

  37. #2187
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    *£2.5k, she'll get half.

  38. #2188
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    *£2k He'll spend £500 on dating apps

  39. #2189
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    I can’t see Smiffy’s CV on mobile. Need to see how justified the reactions are.

  40. #2190
    I used to be funny.
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    "I didn't even like cars."

  41. #2191
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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  42. #2192
    Now in technicolor Pen's Avatar
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    I started my holiday 20th of this month and the next time I’m back in is January 13th.

    Life is great 😎

  43. #2193
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    What??

  44. #2194
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Is that what they call being sacked in Finland?

  45. #2195
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    That doesn't even count as a job.

  46. #2196
    Now in technicolor Pen's Avatar
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    Holiday, holiday extra pay I swapped for more holiday and paternity leave.

    I’ll be home with the boy as the missus goes back to work. We do have quite a bit of holiday as a whole family though.

  47. #2197
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    That’s six months though.
    I'm a twit

  48. #2198
    Now in technicolor Pen's Avatar
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    Almost seven. A part of it is not paternity leave, but I don’t know the term for the leave either parent can use until the child is three.

  49. #2199
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    We call it the dole.
    I'm a twit

  50. #2200
    Now in technicolor Pen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    We call it the dole.
    We have that too, but it’s not the same as I actually have a job. The dole would pay better for the last two months though.

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