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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #1951
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Had to do some dumb survey thing a while back to choose groups of words that best/least describe me. Then on Tuesday I spent the morning being told about these “insights” and what colour everyone was. I’m cool blue, apparently.

    The majority of my profile makes me sound like an autistic weirdo, which was splendid to hear. Some highlights below.

    He will seek an environment in which he can be quietly productive.

    He often sees when colours match or blend and may have a highly developed taste for art, music and food. Outwardly quiet, reserved and detached, inwardly he is constantly absorbed in analysing problems or situations. Baz has a gift for seeing the important facts of a situation.

    Baz is a systematic and organised thinker, with highly developed analytical skills. He is concerned with schedule and system and appears to some to be a very private person.

    He greatly prefers to trust what he can hear, smell, taste, touch and see, rather than accept abstract or intangible ideas.

    He is usually neat, tidy and orderly, both at work and at home. For him, it is actions that speak louder than words. It will frequently annoy him if words are over-used by others.

    Baz is seen by others as reserved and cautious. He will be prepared to remain apart from active participation in new teams. He prefers to integrate slowly into even the most non-threatening situation. He tends not to care how he is seen as measuring up to others' standards as it is his own standards that are important to him.

    He may lack an understanding of how his behaviour affects others and can be critical and blunt in giving recommendations for improvement.

    He may sometimes encounter difficulties in communications because he would prefer everyone to be as logical and analytical as he is himself.

    He is often inwardly absorbed in his current analysis or problem solving and is inclined towards reticence.


    Full report here if you’re really bored.
    I'm a twit

  2. #1952
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Managers in my last place had what sounds like a very similar thing but it was all elements.

    "I can't believe they had me as a fire-earth! I'm much more of an air."

    Fuck off.

  3. #1953
    Fuck like you cook.
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    So an interesting proposal presented itself to me today. Remember when I opened the B&B? New opportunity is to run one without a wage, rent free in return for free use of kitchen and bar which are currently closed. All profits from food and drink are my own. I'm now having thoughts...

  4. #1954
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    TTH-themed menu?

  5. #1955
    Fuck like you cook.
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    Incinerated Ian dipped in plum sauce served on a bed of watercress, carrot and mooli?

  6. #1956
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Pasta ala Giggles and Molton's Chicken and Broccoli would go down well.

  7. #1957
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Seething Sirloin Steak with Chimp Out Chips.

  8. #1958
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Idiotmousse.

  9. #1959
    Fuck like you cook.
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    Spikey wins early doors.

  10. #1960
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    If you wanted to go all We Want Plates about it you could serve Spikey's dish "On The Ropes."

    And literally just heap it all onto a coil of rope or whatever.

  11. #1961
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Serve a meal on bald tyres.

  12. #1962
    Fuck like you cook.
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    I've only gone and been offered it. Blackpool is such a dive though. :-/ What to do?

  13. #1963
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    Oh Blackpool? Fuck that noise.

  14. #1964
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smjffy View Post
    So an interesting proposal presented itself to me today. Remember when I opened the B&B? New opportunity is to run one without a wage, rent free in return for free use of kitchen and bar which are currently closed. All profits from food and drink are my own. I'm now having thoughts...
    This is literally serfdom, you'd have to be a fucking idiot to think it's a good deal. You realise when you stay at a B&B the food is included in the price...

  15. #1965
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Could be good money in selling pints and full Englishes.

    Although, do you have to throw the breakfast in for the B&B angle? And who goes to a B&B for a meal? So, essentially, it sounds like you'd be banking on being permanently stocked with pissheads to exploit in the bar, which, being Blackpool, sounds plausible enough.

  16. #1966
    Pretty Much Amazing Mike's Avatar
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    Nah, you don’t drink where you’re staying. Maybe a pint before you head off into Blackpool but not more than that. And yeah, surely the only food you’ll shift is the free breakfasts people eat while hungover?

  17. #1967
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    This is literally serfdom, you'd have to be a fucking idiot to think it's a good deal. You realise when you stay at a B&B the food is included in the price...
    It doesn't offer breakfast at present as the bar lounge and kitchen is closed but we would look to do breakfast for the public too as well as small lunches, picnics for the beach etc. It's big enough to do so and wouldn't need amazing numbers to make a profit.

    Could be worth it for now until the season ends at least. I'm going to think it over.

  18. #1968
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mike View Post
    Nah, you don’t drink where you’re staying. Maybe a pint before you head off into Blackpool but not more than that. And yeah, surely the only food you’ll shift is the free breakfasts people eat while hungover?
    It does have a bar to be fair.

    I looked at it as 10-20 guests, that's Ł5 a fry up, right Ł50-100 for an hour or two work. 7 days a week. But that's just off top of head. I need to find a way to utilise the bar and figure out how we can make numbers during a lunch. It's nothing special but there is scope to make a bit of dollar whilst gaining the facilities for free. All I have to do in that regard is keep an eye on things and check in guests. Between the two of us it should be a doddle if we go for it.

  19. #1969
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    A Bed and Breakfast that doesn't do breakfasts? Does it have beds?

  20. #1970
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    That's me convinced. Good luck on your Bed & Breakfast that 'looks to do' breakfast.

    You're having a fast one pulled on you. When you get offered the life of a serf, in the modern world you're supposed to negotiate up from there.

  21. #1971
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    You're going to lose so much money.

  22. #1972
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    A B&B that does not offer one of the Bs? Madness.

    Next you'll tell us that it doesn't have beds either.

    EDIT: Spikey

  23. #1973
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Keep up Pepe you cunt.

  24. #1974
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Human trafficking hub.

  25. #1975
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry View Post
    You're going to lose so much money.
    Technically no, he will just have a solid life of not gaining money.

  26. #1976
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    There must be some kind of dole/housing benefit scam to be had there, get in league with Shinners.

  27. #1977
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    This is one of the funniest life plans I've heard of in quite some time. I love this forum, no amount of twitch streamers, facebook, twitter will be as entertaining as someone honestly pushing 'I'm going to work a full time job for no pay' as a good idea.

  28. #1978
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry View Post
    You're going to lose so much money.
    Far from it. My only outlay will be produce and alcohol for bar and to keep all the takings from both. Partner or I could work part time to tide things over but even now I could jump in for a month or so without taking a penny.

    I believe it could actually work. Very small scale but it'll bring a return for sure.

  29. #1979
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    WAIT YOU'RE BUYING THE PRODUCE AND ALCOHOL? THIS IS REACHING NEW LEVELS OF FUCKING IDIOCY.

    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    This is one of the funniest life plans I've heard of in quite some time. I love this forum, no amount of twitch streamers, facebook, twitter will be as entertaining as someone honestly pushing 'I'm going to work a full time job for no pay' as a good idea.
    Everyone in the real world is depressed because they don't get to see the likes of Smiffy embark on this adventure and watch it blow up. This is Mahow going to visit a Ukranian camgirl level stuff.

  30. #1980
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    This is one of the funniest life plans I've heard of in quite some time. I love this forum, no amount of twitch streamers, facebook, twitter will be as entertaining as someone honestly pushing 'I'm going to work a full time job for no pay' as a good idea.
    It depends on your interest. I personally am far more motivated turning a fallen place around, gaining experience in dealing with all manner of issues and providing a service to boot. We can't all make serious money in life but surprisingly there's more to an enjoyable working experience than the final pay, no?

    I had an awesome time at the boot Inn irrespective of how it ended.

  31. #1981
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    WAIT YOU'RE BUYING THE PRODUCE AND ALCOHOL? THIS IS REACHING NEW LEVELS OF FUCKING IDIOCY.



    Everyone in the real world is depressed because they don't get to see the likes of Smiffy embark on this adventure and watch it blow up. This is Mahow going to visit a Ukranian camgirl level stuff.
    You realise I made nearly Ł20K over the course of a month the last time I did this, right?

  32. #1982
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Hard to tell how bad of a deal this is without knowing the place, but it seems like he is getting a bar + restaurant space rent-free. My main reservation would be that if it was possible to make money out of it, whoever owns the space would use it to make money, or rent it to someone. No one would give up the opportunity to make money just because, and just gift someone else the opportunity to do so.

  33. #1983
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smjffy View Post
    You realise I made nearly Ł20K over the course of a month the last time I did this, right?
    Do you think lying on the internet makes me respect your terrible life choices more?

    I'm always making a quarter of a million pounds a year and quitting because I don't like the management. Isn't everyone else?

  34. #1984
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    Hard to tell how bad of a deal this is without knowing the place, but it seems like he is getting a bar + restaurant space rent-free. My main reservation would be that if it was possible to make money out of it, whoever owns the space would use it to make money, or rent it to someone. No one would give up the opportunity to make money just because, and just gift someone else the opportunity to do so.
    That's what I thought initially and during the conversation we had I made sure to ask about the history of such things. It has been done before and because the location is smack back in centre near the tower and beach etc it can be busy.

    I haven't accepted anything as of yet as I need to do the sums but I'm giving it a serious thought. No boss, no restrictions and no crazed scientologist to fuck it up.

  35. #1985
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    Do you think lying on the internet makes me respect your terrible life choices more?

    I'm always making a quarter of a million pounds a year and quitting because I don't like the management. Isn't everyone else?
    I made Ł20K in a month and the owner decided to use it for his rooms he was renting out....not me specifically. It was well documented on here at the time so I see no reason to try and prove myself.

    As a side note though, do you think I give one fuck about gaining any respect from you of all people?

    Continue with the topic folks, ignore this gormless fuck.

  36. #1986
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    Hard to tell how bad of a deal this is without knowing the place, but it seems like he is getting a bar + restaurant space rent-free. My main reservation would be that if it was possible to make money out of it, whoever owns the space would use it to make money, or rent it to someone. No one would give up the opportunity to make money just because, and just gift someone else the opportunity to do so.
    Getting to run a Bar and Restaurant not a Bed and Breakfast (that doesn't serve breakfast).

  37. #1987
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    The name of the place doesn't actually contain the word B&B, it's actually a hotel. But for me, it's a B&B as the rest is separate.

    What part of rent free space to do our own thing in return for living and overseeing B&B is not s good idea? Straight away I've saved money just by accepting it as the bills are there's. Electric gas etc.

  38. #1988
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Wait, I missed the part where you have to run the whole place, not just the restaurant/bar.

    Who will pay for the cooks, bartenders, waitstaff, etc?

    You're getting mugged, mate.

  39. #1989
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Ah well if your electric bill is covered at least you'll be able to read this place while you're not being paid. Honestly, this is in my top 10 TTH moments.

  40. #1990
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    Who will pay for the cooks, bartenders, waitstaff, etc?
    The cooks, bartenders and waitstaff will also all live at the B&B, there's no actual guests. It's all just people who work downstairs for free.

  41. #1991
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    Check people in, give rooms a once over etc, it's not too difficult as once checked in you can pretty much forget about them. Or coax out of room and into bar like I did in Derby. Staff would be me and my partner initially but could bring someone else in if I needed to, I suppose.

    In my mind if I could get just 20 customers a day opening the restaurant side then we can make more than I currently do because we'd only need to replace the produce.

  42. #1992
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    Ah well if your electric bill is covered at least you'll be able to read this place while you're not being paid. Honestly, this is in my top 10 TTH moments.
    Do you have any idea how much it costs to keep a kitchen live wired and gassed up? It's not a case of switch on and off after use.

    Not being paid isn't an issue, the issue will be if we can't shift our own stuff which is where our money would come from. I don't think you're understanding fully.

  43. #1993
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    A once over

    Love to stay in a B&B riddled with bed bugs.

  44. #1994
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    Dude, it's fucking Blackpool. It is a fucking bug in itself.

  45. #1995
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    You should put that in the tripadvisor bio.

  46. #1996
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    Avoid. As soon as it hits out of season, you'll be completely fucked.

  47. #1997
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    You're definitely underestimating the amount of work involved Smiff.

  48. #1998
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Where about is it, Smiff? Is it on the promenade?

    Strangely I think it would be better situated if it wasn’t along the front, would be better maybe near the market.

    Been a while since I had a day sesh in Blackpool but would get one sorted to come visit if you do set it up.
    I'm a twit

  49. #1999
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    You should put that in the tripadvisor bio.
    I saw the TripAdvisor reviews prior to the phone call and to be honest, I think it's half expected that instead of breakfast you get a bug to snuggle with. Fair trade.

    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    Avoid. As soon as it hits out of season, you'll be completely fucked.
    Most definitely not a long term thing aye, I'm literally thinking from between now and when the season ends, maybe end of August.

    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    You're definitely underestimating the amount of work involved Smiff.
    I don't believe I am given I did exactly this sort of thing once before. I'll do exactly as I did then and call in some mates with their rates if need be. I leave current place to go to North Wales tomorrow and then from there to Blackpool to have a look in person so we'll see. I don't believe it's as daft as some in here believe but then I have the benefit of knowing my own capabilities and if nothing else, it'll be an interesting experience for a short time.

  50. #2000
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Can't see how this will go wrong Smiff.

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