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Thread: The All New, All Shit, Relationship Thread

  1. #4701
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    Yeah, I know people in their early twenties who have to wear nappies because they've done too much ket.

    He almost certainly needs professional help for the benzos though, he's definitely at the stage where quitting cold turkey would be very dangerous.

  2. #4702
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    His best bet would be to fuck off to some remote place where he can't just get in contact with folks he knows for drugs.

    But then it turns into "just having a beer at the bar tonight" which leads to meeting someone who happens to be into it and yuo're back to square one

  3. #4703
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Lol could have is she gonna bang doe'd a mental 19 year old student nurse but we're staying with her batshit father who basically pulled her out of my room. Seething. When I say out of my room she tiptoed in and got caught bonny. Had lip filler too so like getting head from a cod.

  4. #4704
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Translation please.

  5. #4705
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    I think he fucked a fish.

  6. #4706
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    Translation please.
    Magic is handling the divorce with aplomb.

  7. #4707
    I used to be funny.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    Translation please.
    She turned the ween against him.

  8. #4708
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    Translation please.
    He nearly fucked a retarded child but got cock blocked.

  9. #4709
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Hey she said I looked 23, isn't that all that matters.

  10. #4710
    I used to be funny.
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    Not in court.

  11. #4711
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    Hey she said I looked 23, isn't that all that matters.
    Save it for your YouTube interrogation.

  12. #4712
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    went on a night out in Birmingham yday with a 3 old friends, one male two female. might have gotten too drunk and told female friend 1 that i've basically been in love with female friend 2 for years. girl best friends definitely don't talk about that kind of thing though so i'm sure i'll be fine...

  13. #4713
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by igor_balis View Post
    went on a night out in Birmingham yday with a 3 old friends, one male two female. might have gotten too drunk and told female friend 1 that i've basically been in love with female friend 2 for years. girl best friends definitely don't talk about that kind of thing though so i'm sure i'll be fine...
    Doesn't sound like you at all. Were you on a train?

  14. #4714
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    Doesn't sound like you at all. Were you on a train?
    get tested for autism

  15. #4715
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by igor_balis View Post
    get tested for autism


    Straight to the burns unit for me.

  16. #4716
    I used to be funny.
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    Quote Originally Posted by igor_balis View Post
    get tested for autism
    Why? So you two can have something in common?

  17. #4717
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    Why? So you two can have something in common?
    I sense jealousy.

  18. #4718
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    Why? So you two can have something in common?
    have you ever kissed a girl?

  19. #4719
    I used to be funny.
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    Yeah. Need some tips? Kiss her on the face, not on the arse.

  20. #4720
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    That is fucking brilliant.

  21. #4721
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Igor on the ropes.

  22. #4722
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Shinners slaying harder than Igor's fake stories.

  23. #4723
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Do any of you lot pay for services on a regualr basis? I ask becase I have paid for services in the past, but im thinking it will porbably be cheaper and less headache if I go down this route again. My sexual drive has slowed down completely now and it is probably best, if i get any sort of desire, I pay instead of leading her to heartbreak.

    Edit: By regular, I mean about once a month.
    Last edited by SincereTheRebel; 29-04-2019 at 09:10 AM.

  24. #4724
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    I thought about it but I think the emotional damage and loneliness that would come afterwards would be worse than the current status quo of blueballs.

  25. #4725
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Your in a different situation though Magic so I understand that. Surely someone on here has made or still makes purchases?

  26. #4726
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    A couple of my friends have in the past. One of them nearly ruined their life because their bride-to-be found out about a month before the wedding. Fortunately for him, he was able to get her to believe that he didn't do anything. I think she knew, but convinced herself.

  27. #4727
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    A lot of folks I used to talk to raved about it. "You're paying them to leave" they liked to say. No strings, bada-bing-bada-boom, voila. You're on with your day.

    In fairness, I perused back when backpage was still a thing, but I couldn't personally get myself to make the call. Some fine looking specimens as well, though I never really considered the potential charge worth it.

  28. #4728
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Doesn't Hennors get them on the regular after being shunned by Scoobs?

  29. #4729
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    It's a slippery slope. Stay well clear.

  30. #4730
    Senior Member Mazuuurk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel View Post
    Do any of you lot pay for services on a regualr basis? I ask becase I have paid for services in the past, but im thinking it will porbably be cheaper and less headache if I go down this route again. My sexual drive has slowed down completely now and it is probably best, if i get any sort of desire, I pay instead of leading her to heartbreak.

    Edit: By regular, I mean about once a month.

    Unless you're a certified mechanic, usually I think most people pay for service.
    Keep the tyres fresh, like. It's important to stay safe.

  31. #4731
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Manc View Post
    It's a slippery slope. Stay well clear.
    Depends how busy they've been.

  32. #4732
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mazuuurk View Post
    Unless you're a certified mechanic, usually I think most people pay for service.
    Keep the tyres fresh, like. It's important to stay safe.

  33. #4733
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    Lol could have is she gonna bang doe'd a mental 19 year old student nurse but we're staying with her batshit father who basically pulled her out of my room. Seething. When I say out of my room she tiptoed in and got caught bonny. Had lip filler too so like getting head from a cod.
    This was legitimately indecipherable.

  34. #4734
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    Also just bang a fat girl sheesh, no need to pay for that sort of thing.

  35. #4735
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I nearly did before, booked one and all, but it's cheaper to have a wank.

  36. #4736
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bartholomert View Post
    Also just bang a fat girl sheesh, no need to pay for that sort of thing.
    The ones i like, already have a rubber ring around their gut. The skinny ones cant do nothing for me.

  37. #4737
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Would prostitutes have good tyres?

  38. #4738
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    It’s like paying for porn, you’re a real noob if you do that in this day and age

  39. #4739
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Having had a nice sleep and some fresh air today I can take my donning like a man. You deffo did me there @Shindig. You'll need to maintain that level of #banter though if you're gonna insist on continuing to post sneering replies to 25% of all the posts I make; as soon as the laughter dries up it'll just seem like you have a weird obsession with me.

  40. #4740
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mugbull View Post
    It’s like paying for porn, you’re a real noob if you do that in this day and age
    Won't you need a licence (or something similar) to watch porn in the UK soon?

  41. #4741
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    Won't you need a licence (or something similar) to watch porn in the UK soon?
    On the plus side it'll bring back the halcyon days of the excitement of finding abandoned grot mags in hedges and stuff.

  42. #4742
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by igor_balis View Post
    Having had a nice sleep and some fresh air today I can take my donning like a man. You deffo did me there @Shindig. You'll need to maintain that level of #banter though if you're gonna insist on continuing to post sneering replies to 25% of all the posts I make; as soon as the laughter dries up it'll just seem like you have a weird obsession with me.
    That started ok but didn't finish off sounding like someone taking it well at all. #seething

  43. #4743
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    That started ok but didn't finish off sounding like someone taking it well at all. #seething
    I don't mind a well placed zinger like the bum kissing remark, but if getting annoyed by someone repeatedly making weird comments when I post stuff means I'm seething than I'm gonna fucking seethe. As an aside, I don't mind it when you do it because you give out to everyone but Shindig's feels more stalkery.

  44. #4744
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    A cunt to all

  45. #4745
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Given my currenty lifestyle, I think it will workout OK for me. Im diving back into the deepend lads. Fuck this.

  46. #4746
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    My wife asked me to proofread an abstract for her. I had to lol when I read this sentence:

    In the last decade of the 16th century, a vicious civil war, led by the Duke of Mercoeur, rattled the former duchy of Brittany.

    Adhering to the TTH style guide.

  47. #4747
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Bit wordy for an abstract love.

  48. #4748
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Based on the standards of academia, not nearly wordy enough.

  49. #4749
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    Quote Originally Posted by igor_balis View Post
    Having had a nice sleep and some fresh air today I can take my donning like a man. You deffo did me there @Shindig. You'll need to maintain that level of #banter though if you're gonna insist on continuing to post sneering replies to 25% of all the posts I make; as soon as the laughter dries up it'll just seem like you have a weird obsession with me.
    lol dude ffs

  50. #4750
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    The mental gymnastics that had to be done to "show everyone I'm not seething but also double down on my point" I mean you must be fucking exhausted.

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