User Tag List

Page 26 of 234 FirstFirst ... 1624252627283676126 ... LastLast
Results 1,251 to 1,300 of 11694

Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #1251
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    Scotchland
    Posts
    17,921
    Mentioned
    72 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Our Xmas party got cancelled because there's no money for it LOL.

  2. #1252
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    6,574
    Mentioned
    89 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Again, definitely not cost-cutting.

  3. #1253
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    Scotchland
    Posts
    17,921
    Mentioned
    72 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    Again, definitely not cost-cutting.
    100% that's what it is. Our turnover is dropping £2m in 3 years. It isn't good and an abysmal failure by our current sales team.

  4. #1254
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2015
    Location
    Laaaaaandan
    Posts
    12,150
    Mentioned
    19 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    We need figures Kikeo.
    Nah. It's a nice boost though as I've just had a quote in for repairing my watch of £1500.

  5. #1255
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    22,467
    Mentioned
    35 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    100% that's what it is. Our turnover is dropping £2m in 3 years. It isn't good and an abysmal failure by our current sales team.
    *cough*

  6. #1256
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    6,574
    Mentioned
    89 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Clearly the way to improve sales figures is to sack the sales team and replace them with engineers who have zero sales experience. It sounds like your company is circling the drain.

  7. #1257
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    6,574
    Mentioned
    89 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    So today was our final day of the financial year. Just run the numbers and the turnover projection I did in July was within 0.036%.

  8. #1258
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    3,865
    Mentioned
    49 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    "Deliver the plan".

  9. #1259
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    3,865
    Mentioned
    49 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Kikó View Post
    Just got a bonus. 5.6% of my salary. Boom.
    We got an update on how the company is performing today. Making absolutely shit loads, but behind target for most things.

    Gonna be weird when the bonus is shite but the company has made billions. Meh.

  10. #1260
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    Scotchland
    Posts
    17,921
    Mentioned
    72 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    Clearly the way to improve sales figures is to sack the sales team and replace them with engineers who have zero sales experience. It sounds like your company is circling the drain.
    Well this month I've outsold one of the guys that's been here 10 years so...

  11. #1261
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    Kildare
    Posts
    30,456
    Mentioned
    138 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Foe View Post
    We got an update on how the company is performing today. Making absolutely shit loads, but behind target for most things.

    Gonna be weird when the bonus is shite but the company has made billions. Meh.
    In fairness, that's the aim of the company. Not to furnish employees with extra money.

  12. #1262
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    Scotchland
    Posts
    17,921
    Mentioned
    72 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Boom, and another. That puts me 2nd overall. Not bad for a shite engineer eh?

  13. #1263
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    12,592
    Mentioned
    78 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Foe View Post
    We got an update on how the company is performing today. Making absolutely shit loads, but behind target for most things.

    Gonna be weird when the bonus is shite but the company has made billions. Meh.
    Welcome to capitalism.

    P.s. join a union.

  14. #1264
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    22,467
    Mentioned
    35 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Fuck unions.

    A while back they offered the entirety of my department (nationally) a 9% raise over 3 years, but wanted to extend the working week from 37 to 40 hours, add weekend working, cut overtime rates etc. Anyway, it was a shit deal, but it was parked in front of the Unions for them to vote on whether to accept it of not. What fucking business is it of theirs if I want to accept or not? Fuck ‘em.

  15. #1265
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2015
    Location
    Laaaaaandan
    Posts
    12,150
    Mentioned
    19 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    You elect unions to represent you in wage negotiations. That's their business.

  16. #1266
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    Hull
    Posts
    27,078
    Mentioned
    132 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    They're largely pointless these days owing to their complete lack of balls. Say what you want about the train drivers, but they scam their 'safety concerns' magnificently.

  17. #1267
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    12,592
    Mentioned
    78 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    'their complete lack of balls'

    Let's not forget who neutered them.

  18. #1268
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    12,592
    Mentioned
    78 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)



  19. #1269
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    Hull
    Posts
    27,078
    Mentioned
    132 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    All the eighties reforms ever did was make unions more accountable and democratic. If their power depended upon them being a bent racket then it was pretty baseless.

  20. #1270
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2015
    Posts
    15,017
    Mentioned
    199 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Unions are too expensive, considering they don't do anything 99% of the time.
    I'm a twit

  21. #1271
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    22,467
    Mentioned
    35 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Kikó View Post
    You elect unions to represent you in wage negotiations. That's their business.
    You might. I don’t. I’m not a member.

  22. #1272
    I used to be funny.
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    21,254
    Mentioned
    41 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    They come good once a year for pay reviews but we've got enough members to bleat on about that for the rest of us. And then they moan about, "Well, I think you shouldn't be entitled to it if you're not a member."

  23. #1273
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2015
    Posts
    15,017
    Mentioned
    199 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    One thing I was asked to do at work was to contact a shedload of companies asking for “prizes” that would be given out at the end of a twelve month long campaign. Most of them haven’t bothered getting back to me (I sent about 50 e-mails) but today in the post I received a two-for-one voucher at Blackpool Pleasure Beach. For reference, to buy one wristband online it costs £28, so it’s effectively worth £28, I guess.

    Turns out the campaign isn’t going to run anymore so no prizes are required. Nobody else has seen this voucher. Should I just keep it?

    There’s probably a 50/50 chance that if I mention it to the person who asked me to sort out the prizes, she’d just say keep it, but why run the risk.

    It expires in November 2019. I could quite easily plan a day sesh next Summer with my mate that involves going on The Big One ten times. Hmm.

    Or I could be honest and hand this one over, in the hope that something better turns up. Or I could just keep all the prizes that come in. Decisions, decisions.

    Anyone wanna buy it for £15?
    I'm a twit

  24. #1274
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    22,467
    Mentioned
    35 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Fucking scousers.

  25. #1275
    Webly Ian's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    20,654
    Mentioned
    123 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    If its a prize that takes you to Blackpool I'd be glad to have it taken off my hands.

  26. #1276
    I used to be funny.
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    21,254
    Mentioned
    41 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I won a £10 Sainsburys voucher at work today. I'm happy with that.

  27. #1277
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    5,909
    Mentioned
    44 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    i won a bottle of cheap cava for being colleague of the month, have that you cunts.

  28. #1278
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2015
    Posts
    18,151
    Mentioned
    118 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Had my annual review today which was a mixed bag. Best summed up by this paragraph of my review

    "As noted in attached HR notes, phonics has struggled with some lack of professionalism scattered throughout the year,which has been his biggest setback. This included not showing up for work at times. However, he has since moved on beyond this and proven himself a reliable colleague that can be counted on to deliver quality work and visionary ideas."

    Got a promotion and a 25% pay bump at the end of said meeting.

  29. #1279
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    3,865
    Mentioned
    49 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    Had my annual review today which was a mixed bag. Best summed up by this paragraph of my review

    "As noted in attached HR notes, phonics has struggled with some lack of professionalism scattered throughout the year,which has been his biggest setback. This included not showing up for work at times. However, he has since moved on beyond this and proven himself a reliable colleague that can be counted on to deliver quality work and visionary ideas."

    Got a promotion and a 25% pay bump at the end of said meeting.
    Hire Boydy.

    Ps congrats. I'll take a PS4 plz.

  30. #1280
    Senior Member Mazuuurk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    3,655
    Mentioned
    16 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    Had my annual review today which was a mixed bag. Best summed up by this paragraph of my review

    "As noted in attached HR notes, phonics has struggled with some lack of professionalism scattered throughout the year,which has been his biggest setback. This included not showing up for work at times. However, he has since moved on beyond this and proven himself a reliable colleague that can be counted on to deliver quality work and visionary ideas."

    Got a promotion and a 25% pay bump at the end of said meeting.

    Maybe introducing yourself as "phonics" is hampering your air of professionalism somewhat.

    25% seems an insane wage hike though so good on ya.

  31. #1281
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    11,320
    Mentioned
    54 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Should celebrate with a little trip somewhere nice. Spain maybe?

  32. #1282
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    Scotchland
    Posts
    17,921
    Mentioned
    72 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    Should celebrate with a little trip somewhere nice. Spain maybe?

  33. #1283
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    12,592
    Mentioned
    78 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Foe View Post
    Hire Boydy.
    What?

  34. #1284
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2015
    Posts
    18,151
    Mentioned
    118 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    Should celebrate with a little trip somewhere nice. Spain maybe?
    Please, I'm on the verge of confirming tickets to a 2 week Tokyo/Seoul trip

  35. #1285
    I used to be funny.
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    21,254
    Mentioned
    41 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Well, I can't wait to hear about that several more times.

  36. #1286
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    40,773
    Mentioned
    105 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Sushi anyone?

  37. #1287
    Webly Ian's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    20,654
    Mentioned
    123 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    These dickheads are lucky I'm not the sort to down tools or go on the sick now my notice is in because this week is a proper understaffed shitfest entirely caused by managerial ineptitude.

  38. #1288
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    40,773
    Mentioned
    105 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Thank you for applying for the position of Data Analyst Support Officer HCC11075, we are delighted to confirm that you have been invited for an interview.

    Hmmm.

  39. #1289
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    35,303
    Mentioned
    84 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Do it.

    I just had the following phone call with the regional manager.

    Me: 'Hello?'
    Him: 'Pedro Bravo is a cunt. He can fuck off.'
    Me: 'Who's Pedro Bravo?'
    Him: 'Dunno, but he's a cunt.'
    *line goes dead*

    This industry is so great for shall we say 'direct communication'.

  40. #1290
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    22,467
    Mentioned
    35 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Managed to get my new job to let me start in January so I will have nearly 3 weeks off over Christmas and New Year before starting there.

  41. #1291
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    Scotchland
    Posts
    17,921
    Mentioned
    72 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I hate my industry.

    OpenReach are absolutely fucking horrible.

  42. #1292
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    12,231
    Mentioned
    46 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Everyone hates your industry because you're all useless.

  43. #1293
    Webly Ian's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    20,654
    Mentioned
    123 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    OpenReach ARE the worst though. Unless you have the misfortune to deal with the ironically named Reliance over in Bangalore.

  44. #1294
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    12,592
    Mentioned
    78 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Fucked up a UAT release today which was being done for some bug fixes. Not even sure the bug's been properly fixed even when I did get the release working in the end.



    Starting to dislike my job again though. The most senior guy below the manager on my team is a bit of a prick and the project manager's quite annoying too - one day she can be all matey with you and the next she's really off. Also, there's not enough coding. I fucking hate devops.

    Although this starting to dislike it again coincides with me tapering off my ADs so maybe it's that. Who fucking knows.

  45. #1295
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    Haarlem
    Posts
    6,802
    Mentioned
    23 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    It'll probably take you a couple of jobs to find your groove - nothing really to worry about. As long as you're learning stuff then it's worth sticking with.

  46. #1296
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    Scotchland
    Posts
    17,921
    Mentioned
    72 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Sounds like your not cut out for it Boyd (quelle surprise).

  47. #1297
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2015
    Location
    Laaaaaandan
    Posts
    12,150
    Mentioned
    19 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Fucked up a UAT release today which was being done for some bug fixes. Not even sure the bug's been properly fixed even when I did get the release working in the end.



    Starting to dislike my job again though. The most senior guy below the manager on my team is a bit of a prick and the project manager's quite annoying too - one day she can be all matey with you and the next she's really off. Also, there's not enough coding. I fucking hate devops.

    Although this starting to dislike it again coincides with me tapering off my ADs so maybe it's that. Who fucking knows.
    Why?

  48. #1298
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    12,592
    Mentioned
    78 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    It's boring. I like coding, I want to code.

  49. #1299
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    11,320
    Mentioned
    54 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    It's boring. I like coding, I want to code.
    https://triplebyte.com/

  50. #1300
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    12,592
    Mentioned
    78 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    Looks good, that. Cheers. Bookmarked it for the future.

    EDIT: It's only for US jobs. Booo.
    Last edited by Boydy; 10-11-2018 at 02:11 PM.

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •