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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #1201
    I used to be funny.
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    Our team one's not even been mentioned. My old team's sorting out a murder mystery meal thing which will probably be alright.

  2. #1202
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    Where's that?
    https://www.holohansatthebarge.co.uk/

  3. #1203
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Must have been after my time.

  4. #1204
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    We've booked a team one near tower bridge but I'll be away for it. Our department one has also not fell into the inbox which means I can avoid all that crap.

  5. #1205
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Mine's on a boat. It's a restaurant on a moored boat rather than an actual moving boat though.

    People bring their partners at this place.
    Take your housemate.

  6. #1206
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    Take your housemate.
    She'll invite herself anyway as soon as she twigs he's leaving the gaff.

  7. #1207
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quite a few people started this year so plenty of us haven't been to the Christmas dinner/party before. We were told we could bring a partner or a friend or whatever. It's basically just an open plus one. But why the fuck would you want to take someone who doesn't know anyone and then have to spend the night making sure you're integrating them into things well enough? Fuck that. I don't really want to have to make awkward small talk with other people's guests either. I just want to eat some turkey and get drunk.

  8. #1208
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    Not sure we'll have a whole staff one this year as one of the organisers last year has left and the other got a promotion, so little time to organise I'd imagine. Think we'll have a department one though on the last day of term, late lunch type of thing.

  9. #1209
    I used to be funny.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Quite a few people started this year so plenty of us haven't been to the Christmas dinner/party before. We were told we could bring a partner or a friend or whatever. It's basically just an open plus one. But why the fuck would you want to take someone who doesn't know anyone and then have to spend the night making sure you're integrating them into things well enough? Fuck that. I don't really want to have to make awkward small talk with other people's guests either. I just want to eat some turkey and get drunk.
    Maybe they don't get on with the work guys so they're crowbarring their significant other in for the conversation. Or they need a designated driver.

  10. #1210
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    So my route to market (my channel partners) are mostly really slow with business. I need some quick wins so I've started going direct. This annoyingly means I have to do a lot of networking now, and I fucking hate it.

    It is nauseating, and half the time cunts are trying to load stuff on to you, drowning out any message you had in the first place. Really hard to stomach cunts.

    Sidenote: I've hardly sold anything and will probably be unemployed by Christmas.

  11. #1211
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    When's double the wage coming, mate?

  12. #1212
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    How much is the dole?

  13. #1213
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Are you looking for other things now?

  14. #1214
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Had you done any sales before now, Magic?

    I had one job involving sales and was atrocious at it. I think it's something that is at least to an extent is just down to how you're wired.

  15. #1215
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Sales is easy. Just gotta find the right mix of chipper bellend and likeable nice fella.

    That said, I don’t miss it.
    I'm a twit

  16. #1216
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Yes but that isn't just a thing to turn on and off for everybody. Anything is easy if you have a natural affinity for it.

    I actually did really well in my first fortnight when I didn't actually have a clue what I was doing and was just chatting to people but by the time they'd tried to sales-ify me and I was actually thinking about it it all went to shit.

  17. #1217
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    It's more consulting, or that's how I billed it. Yet I'm being given targets as if I was a chicken in a call centre. The turn around times on these deals can be months.

  18. #1218
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I don't have any of the Baz stuff, so I do it with extreme efficiency and zero bullshit. Most people seem to buy that, in my industry at least. If you're trying to flog people things that they don't want or need, then I don't know.

  19. #1219
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    The closest I’ve come to a ‘sales job’ was trying to flog Gold Cards to old women in BHS. That was back in ~2004.

    Sales can fuck right off.

  20. #1220
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I'm supposed to do a certain amount but I'm just not able to be a shiny toe so I leave it to the others and try keep relevant in other areas. My bonus does only be about a quarter of theirs but I'm happy with that price.

  21. #1221
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Just had an email forwarded to me from 28th October with someone saying she didn't receive two documents so had to make do with the old ones.

    Yet I've got an email directly from her on the 23rd October saying thanks for the documents, after I sent them to her.

    If the system didn't use rubbish Lotus Notes (or is it IBM Notes?) and it was easier to forward e-mails from different threads, I'd make a show of her. As it is, she's made me look a mug.
    I'm a twit

  22. #1222
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Screenshot the shit out of it and don't be a sap. Destroy her.

  23. #1223
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Just reply saying “I received a reply from you on the 23rd confirming receipt of them. Please check again.”

  24. #1224
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Just reply All saying “I received a reply from you on the 23rd confirming receipt of them. Please check again.”
    Fixed.

  25. #1225
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    Screenshot the shit out of it and don't be a sap. Destroy her.


    I figured I could copy and paste from different e-mail threads and it kept the formatting.

    Hi Julie

    Please see the e-mail below dated 23rd October were you confirmed the receipt of the 2018/19 claim form and invoice template.

    I will process your invoices for Q1 and Q2 today.

    Regards
    In yo face.
    I'm a twit

  26. #1226
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Lotus Notes, fuck me. Do they make you use Netscape Navigator as well?

  27. #1227
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I got sent a brochure at work unsolicited but with all my details attached, which I thought was weird. They sent me a followup e-mail so I asked how they had all this non-public information on me. Today they sent a grovelling apology telling me

    For our events we regularly look for partners and interested parties to ask for feedback or support in our surveys. After such a telephone search for contacts in your region, a colleague placed you on one of our mailing list which was wrong and should not have happened.
    Which implies to me that there's some company they're buying their data from (illegally post-GDPR) so I've asked them to provide me that companies details. I'm going to sue my way to the top

  28. #1228
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Recruiters are the absolute worst for it. I've never once worked with a recruiter, but I get emailed about 5 candidates per day that they want us to hire.

  29. #1229
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    Recruiters are the absolute worst for it. I've never once worked with a recruiter, but I get emailed about 5 candidates per day that they want us to hire.
    You run a business though, your contact has to be somewhere public? I'm just a staffer. The guy got back in touch to say that they got this information originates back in 2014 from 3 jobs ago and could name my entire career path since. They have my phone number and the address of everywhere I've worked as well as my e-mails. It's nuts.

  30. #1230
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    That doesn't mean they have the right to spam me with shit. Having someones details does not equal consent to receive marketing emails.

  31. #1231
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    In other news, you may hate your colleagues but...


  32. #1232
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    Attempted murder fail. Finish the job properly, hide the body somewhere in ANTARCTICA and tell everyone he said he's going for a walk and might be some time.

  33. #1233
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Not everyone has a criminal mind, mate.

  34. #1234
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    Baz

  35. #1235
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I have a new job!

    It's not the public sector one which I've not heard back from but was less keen on AND my job title has engineer in it. I've finally made it, lads.

  36. #1236
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Well in Ian.

    You’ll probably find out in the early 2030’s about the Civil service one.

  37. #1237
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    This doesn't match that 10k pay increase sadly but with shift allowance for some lates (from home) I will be doing a week in five it works out to a bump between 15 - 20% so hopefully that'll be noticeable.

  38. #1238
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    HR continues to get angry at me. I have 12 days to use between today and Dcember 31. A period in which I am already taking 14 days holiday.

  39. #1239
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    I'd force you to take it as holiday pay.

  40. #1240
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    It's use it or lose it our place. You can carry 5 days over but only at managers discretion which at the moment would probably be met with a lolmate.

  41. #1241
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    I'd force you to take it as holiday pay.
    If only I could, I requested this but they claimed it was illegal in Switzerland or something

    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    It's use it or lose it our place. You can carry 5 days over but only at managers discretion which at the moment would probably be met with a lolmate.
    Taking said 14 days would put me to the 'use it or lose it' limit of 10 days carry over, I currently have nearly a full month of unused vacation.

  42. #1242
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Engineer Ian

  43. #1243
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Use your fucking holidays, you idiot.

  44. #1244
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Whinging about having to take time off work. Sort yourself out.

  45. #1245
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Yeah take them off and stop moaning.

  46. #1246
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    my job title has engineer in it. I've finally made it, lads.
    Yes, you have.

    Ian.

  47. #1247
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Lawl hit my target on the last day of the month.

    Should see nearly 3k comish.

  48. #1248
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Just got a bonus. 5.6% of my salary. Boom.

  49. #1249
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    We need figures Kikeo.

  50. #1250
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Plus ones at Xmas parties is disgusting. We're doing a 'christmas carnival' at the Ricoh. Sounds pretty fun in fairness, there's a load of fairground rides and stuff. And casino afterwards is LOCKED IN.

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