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Thread: The Driving Thread

  1. #1101
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    That's poor, so it's nice to see you back to normal mate.

  2. #1102
    Senior Member Alan Shearer The 2nd's Avatar
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    Just another friendly reminder to never, ever, EVER buy a V8-engined BMW with the N62 engine unless you're a masochist-




  3. #1103
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    LOL why the fuck are you buying a V8? Unless it's American you'll never need it.

  4. #1104
    Senior Member Alan Shearer The 2nd's Avatar
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    V8's are brilliant, it's not about need.

    I just bought the wrong one.

  5. #1105
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    You see a lot of car people criticising BMW engines as actually quite shit, but it never seems to reach their mainstream reputation. My old man blew a couple of their straight sixes up back in the day (and they weren't even the performance variants, which were known for falling to bits); their powerful V8s don't have the best name; and that V10 they used for a few years is meant to be a disaster once something goes wrong. The smaller stuff seems okay, and their relatively relaxed V12s were always highly thought of, so obviously it was just everything in between.

  6. #1106
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    My mum had a bunch of 3 series that never had a problem but they were company cars so maybe they just got swapped out before getting fucked.

  7. #1107
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Their 4 cylinder 2 litre diesel back in the early 2000's was some bucket of mank too.

    Last V8 I owned was in an old S4 and it was an absolute dream.

  8. #1108
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    I'm thinking of buying a Cobalt SS. Ugly as fuck, but good performance for the price.

  9. #1109
    Senior Member Alan Shearer The 2nd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    You see a lot of car people criticising BMW engines as actually quite shit, but it never seems to reach their mainstream reputation. My old man blew a couple of their straight sixes up back in the day (and they weren't even the performance variants, which were known for falling to bits); their powerful V8s don't have the best name; and that V10 they used for a few years is meant to be a disaster once something goes wrong. The smaller stuff seems okay, and their relatively relaxed V12s were always highly thought of, so obviously it was just everything in between.
    Their straight 6 petrols in mainstream cars were always a safe bet. Not sure on their latest ones but certainly up until around 2006 any major issues were few and far between.

    In general, they won't be any worse than the equivalent Audi or Merc. The V10 will be expensive to run but then it's a 500bhp V10 that revs to over 8000rpm in a saloon car, who else does it without similar eye-watering costs?

    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    Their 4 cylinder 2 litre diesel back in the early 2000's was some bucket of mank too.

    Last V8 I owned was in an old S4 and it was an absolute dream.
    Case in point, what 4 cylinder diesel from that era isn't crap? You only realise how poor a 4 pot diesel is when you've never driven anything else then drive something with a petrol 6.

    That S4 is also well known for timing chain issues, mounted at the rear of the engine, natch, so it's an engine out job. Most brands have their share of expensive issues on their performance models.

    As a rule I think I'll stick to Mercedes for any V8 content in future though. Probably the safest bet from Germany.

  10. #1110
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alan Shearer The 2nd View Post
    Their straight 6 petrols in mainstream cars were always a safe bet. Not sure on their latest ones but certainly up until around 2006 any major issues were few and far between.

    In general, they won't be any worse than the equivalent Audi or Merc. The V10 will be expensive to run but then it's a 500bhp V10 that revs to over 8000rpm in a saloon car, who else does it without similar eye-watering costs?



    Case in point, what 4 cylinder diesel from that era isn't crap? You only realise how poor a 4 pot diesel is when you've never driven anything else then drive something with a petrol 6.

    That S4 is also well known for timing chain issues, mounted at the rear of the engine, natch, so it's an engine out job. Most brands have their share of expensive issues on their performance models.

    As a rule I think I'll stick to Mercedes for any V8 content in future though. Probably the safest bet from Germany.
    All diesels are shit to drive but reliability wise, the VAG 1.9's were head and shoulders above what BMW were doing. Not even close.

    Chain on the S4 was grand but I know what you mean. I've worked with lads who have had to do them on the 3.0TDI and the 3.2. Monster money. VAG timing chain tensioners around that time were made of cheese too.

    My favourite of all is a straight 5, specifically the Volvo one that used to be in the Focus ST. The noise

  11. #1111
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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  12. #1112
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    That's glorious.

  13. #1113
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    I got my provisional driving licence today

  14. #1114
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry View Post
    That's glorious.
    I would bet my life on it being absolutely shit off road, but isn't it just. Their VelociRaptor is mega as well.

  15. #1115
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    That's so fucking useless that it is glorious.

    Remember that International pick up truck? It was MEGA.

  16. #1116
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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  17. #1117
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Yeah if you want people thinking you're a liberal faggot.

  18. #1118
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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  19. #1119
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    He can't even do the one thing he's good for right anymore.

  20. #1120
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Getting a 2015 Hyundai ix20 next week. Went for a test drive yesterday and it’s pretty swish, although it (obviously) feels completely different to my 2003 Ford Fiesta. Gonna miss that little shit.

  21. #1121
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Sorry, I must have missed the thread. Happy 70th.

  22. #1122
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    cunt

  23. #1123
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raoul Duke View Post
    I got my provisional driving licence today
    Had my first driving lesson the other day too

    Fucking hell the Highway Code is boring to read

  24. #1124
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Just sack it off, it's not like anyone remembers stuff in it.

  25. #1125
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Fingers crossed you fail Roule.

  26. #1126
    Senior Member wullie's Avatar
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    I tried a few online theory tests the other week and quickly realised I probably shouldn't be allowed on the road. What the fuck is a toucan crossing?

  27. #1127
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I practised the theory questions so hard I knew the book off by heart by the end. All that stuff about what speed you go at to overtake horses, and whether you can take caravans in the middle lane. Absolutely gone not two years later.

  28. #1128
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wullie View Post
    I tried a few online theory tests the other week and quickly realised I probably shouldn't be allowed on the road. What the fuck is a toucan crossing?
    Where cyclists and pedestrians can cross at the same time

  29. #1129
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Fail.

  30. #1130
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Straight fail. You always mow down cyclists no matter what the situation.

  31. #1131
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    I was talking to a colleague the other day about getting my drivers license and she told me how unlucky I was because here in PA they make you PARALLEL PARK (!!!) during the test.

  32. #1132
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    To be fair to her, the driving test in Florida was conducted in a parking lot in its entirety. They had a mini road set up with a fake stop sign and everything.

  33. #1133
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I always thought the American driving test consisted of someone in a Stetson shouting 'Let's get her goin', baby!' and then you pass if you have ploughed more than 10 cubits of CO2 into the atmosphere 1 minute later.

  34. #1134
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    That’s last years test. This years test you have to complete the ‘Kiki Challenge’.

    And then PARALLEL PARK.

  35. #1135
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I haven't needed to parallel park in about 5 years.

  36. #1136
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I live down a busy street, with a school on it, that train commuters into London park on. I Parallel park every day and it’s piss once you’ve got the technique down. I think it took me about a week to perfect it. No idea why people struggle with it so much.

  37. #1137
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    It’s all well and good boasting about your parallel parking skills but and the end of the day there are lots of contributing factors (size of the gap, size of your car, traffic, sensors, etc) where even the mightiest of parkers (o/) might mess it up. The worst thing you can do though is give up and drive off to park somewhere else.
    I'm a twit

  38. #1138
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    I've never known anyone be required to park in a difficult space for a parallel park. They're always at least big enough for two cars, at which point it just becomes a reverse near the curb without hitting it exercise (do you still fail for that)?

    Trick is to take your test in something like an older new-style panda (or something equally as small, with the same visibility so no 500 twatmobiles) but I guess that wouldn't work in America as you'd have been crushed on the road before getting to that part of the test.

  39. #1139
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I managed to parralel park in my first lesson, I'd heard so many horror stories and it was a piece of piss. You just line up your mirrors and it's easy.

  40. #1140
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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  41. #1141
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Just bought this beast:




  42. #1142
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Direct Line sent me a letter saying my No claims Discount proof wasn’t valid (it was a company car and they switched insurers midway through, and apparently neither of their letters were acceptable) so I sent them an angry letter and screenshots of the live chat I had with Amrinder before I took out the policy where s/he said my letters were “perfectly fine.”

    Just had an apologetic phone call saying I don’t need to pay the extra £107.52 after all. Dickheads.

    Although even if I’d oaid the extra, they still worked out the cheapest.
    I'm a twit

  43. #1143
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    55 in a 40. First offence.

    What am I looking at?

  44. #1144
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Strung up.

  45. #1145
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    I think I'm two miles an hour over the speed awareness course threshold, so probably, yeah.

    Most annoying thing is I was basically on a dual carriageway, but 55 in a 40 conjures images of trying to endanger kids by a school.

  46. #1146
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Nonce.

  47. #1147
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    55 in a 40 is pretty bad.
    You’ll still only get three points and a £100 fine though.

    How did you get caught?
    I'm a twit

  48. #1148

  49. #1149
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    From just reading the URLs, get the Volvo

  50. #1150
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    That's the one I like the most but it's a diesel (D4 181 R Design) as there's fuck all petrol Volvo S60's in the UK.

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