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View Poll Results: What's on your plate?

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  • Bacon

    25 92.59%
  • Sausage

    26 96.30%
  • Egg

    24 88.89%
  • Beans

    19 70.37%
  • Hash brown

    23 85.19%
  • Tomato

    12 44.44%
  • Black pudding

    15 55.56%
  • Chips

    3 11.11%
  • Mushroom

    17 62.96%
  • Other (I am vile)

    5 18.52%
Multiple Choice Poll.
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Thread: The perfect fry up

  1. #1
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    The perfect fry up

    Bacon, sausage, egg (poached/fried), hash brown, fried tomato, toast.

    Beans optional, but certainly no huge quantity if present.

    Discuss.

  2. #2
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    You didn't put toast on there you nonce.

  3. #3
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    You're the bigger nonce for setting 10 as the maximum number of poll options. Anyone that doesn't want toast is nonce king.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Cord's Avatar
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    Fried bread > toast.

  5. #5
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I thought fried bread was called larver bread. Then I went to Swansea and got that shit. Rough.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by dino View Post
    You're the bigger nonce for setting 10 as the maximum number of poll options. Anyone that doesn't want toast is nonce king.
    And yet you chose to put 'chips' as one of the ten?

  7. #7
    Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuno Reg's Avatar
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    Why wouldn't chips go with a fry up? Chips go with everything.

    Keep it minimal and meaty: bacon, sausage, fried egg, tomato, chips.

  8. #8
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mo View Post
    And yet you chose to put 'chips' as one of the ten?
    I thought toast would be a given for most tbh. Chips are on the list so we can eliminate anyone that votes for that option .

  9. #9
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I think the only essentials are sausage, bacon, fried egg (scrambled will do), beans, and something bread. I would then like to see some black pudding and hash browns on there, but they're not going to make of break it. Mushrooms 'n' tomato (paired together as shit) can do one. They're only included to get women involved.

    I had a cooked breakfast earlier, and when I asked them to swap the mushrooms 'n' tomato for another sausage they said no it has to be meat for meat or crap for crap. Okay, love, do me another hash brown. Oh sorry, not like that. Fortunately for them it was too hot for a talk on consistency, but fucking hell. I also had it outside and nearly died. I imagine it was what soldiering on the Indian frontier must have been like.

  10. #10
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Basically a mixture of an Irish and an Ulster.

    2 sausages (pork)
    2 rashers
    1 black pudding
    1 white pudding
    2 fried eggs
    1 halved fried tomato
    Fried soda bread
    Fried brown bread
    Mushrooms
    Beans (in a separate dish)
    1 Hash brown or potato cubes
    Brown sauce

  11. #11
    Respect the point. Byron's Avatar
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    2 Sausages
    2 Bacon
    Hash Browns
    2 Fried Eggs
    Mushrooms
    Grilled Tomato
    Fried Bread
    Black Pudding

  12. #12
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    That black pudding is hideous.

    Hash browns are nice though.

  13. #13
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    If I was making one myself then I wouldn't bother with mushrooms but I'm not taking them off if they're there. Tomatoes though, top drawer.

  14. #14
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Which absolute fucking wrongun isn’t having sausage?

  15. #15
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Vegetarians

  16. #16
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    Bacon
    Sausage
    Egg
    Beans
    Tomatoes
    Hash Browns
    Some form of bread (fried or toast)
    Brown Sauce.

    There is a place for mushrooms and black pudding but i am not a fan

  17. #17
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel View Post
    Vegetarians
    I’ve got some news about bacon for them.

  18. #18
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Trancemeister. The mouth hole on his gimp mask can probably only get bacon through it.

  19. #19
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    I’ve got some news about bacon for them.
    Some people eat that fake meat. Mo Farah Quorn. Why?

  20. #20
    heavy like led Dark Soldier's Avatar
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    3 x Bacon
    3 x Sausage
    2 x Fried Egg
    Full tin of beans
    Thick, butter drenched toast

    Can chuck in a hash brown or two and some black pudding if ya like. Any veg goes directly in the bin.

  21. #21
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    I could happily leave the beans off, utterly superfluous for me.

  22. #22
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Beans are a substitute when you run out of eggs.

  23. #23
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    The tomato is there for moisture. Any two of egg/beans/tomato is fine really.

  24. #24
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    I like mushrooms, but they don't really serve a purpose on a fry up. The ones you get at a greasy spoon are always shit as well.

  25. #25
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    You see I'd have some sauce (red or brown, whatever your preference) in the role of moisture provider if there's no beans.

  26. #26
    heavy like led Dark Soldier's Avatar
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    You dip everything in the beans some of you are just mental

  27. #27
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Good squeeze of brown sauce mixed into the beans

    Especially if they're those nasty beans with loads of sauce on them. At home I'd strain them.

  28. #28
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    Good squeeze of brown sauce mixed into the beans

    Especially if they're those nasty beans with loads of sauce on them. At home I'd strain them.
    I like a splash of Worcester Sauce in the beans while they're cooking for a similar effect.

  29. #29
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Are we talking tinned plum tomatoes or some grilled disappointment?

  30. #30
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Are we talking tinned plum tomatoes or some grilled disappointment?
    A real tomato halved and put on the pan after the rashers come off. I'd do some tinned plum either though if needs be.

  31. #31
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Half a fried tomato, what do you even do with plum tomatoes in a fry up?

  32. #32
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    Tinned tomato in a fry up, u wot?

  33. #33
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    2x sausage (or 4x if chipolata)
    2x bacon
    2x black pudding
    2x hash brown
    1x egg
    1x toast (buttered, ofc)
    beans
    brown sauce

    If there is to be tomato, no tinned bollocks, I want a decent tomato, sliced in half and grilled with some seasoning.

  34. #34
    Senior Member Samadini's Avatar
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    There aren't many things more tragic than tinned plum tomatoes chucked onto a plate, sauce and all.

  35. #35
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    No grilling. It's a fry (up).


    .
    Last edited by Giggles; 08-07-2018 at 03:07 PM.

  36. #36
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Tinned tomatoes.

  37. #37
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    Fry ups need a tomato. Mushrooms can do one though.

  38. #38
    I used to be funny.
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    The correct answer is everything. The best fry up is the most fry-up.

  39. #39
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Haven't we already had this discussion? I remember @bruhnaldo whipping up a classic pic on Paint.

    Anyway anything goes except tomato.

    Oh and plenty of brown sauce on everything.
    I'm a twit

  40. #40
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I need the beans for liquid reasons (and prefer scrambled egg to the pointless fried version) but don't need any kind of bread in there really.

    Bacon
    Scrambled egg
    Sausage
    Beans
    Hash browns if available
    Mushrooms if I'm in a poncey mood

    Having chips with it is deviant. Potatoes at breakfast should come in a breakfast-only form. That said, 'breakfast potatoes' from the United States are one of the worst and most pointless things I've ever eaten.

  41. #41
    Senior Member Dan's Avatar
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    Sausage, bacon, eggs, hash browns, beans & toast is probably what I’d consider the optimal fry up, but if I do it at home it’s probably more likely to have mushrooms & tomato instead of the hash browns since they’re in the house already & hash browns aren’t.

    Hash browns are great, and chips is completely wrong for a breakfast fry up, but I can probably accept them on a brunch fry up. It should really be sautéed potatoes in that case though.

  42. #42
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    The fried white sliced pan is so wrong but so right.

  43. #43
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Good fucking God, how did the French not introduce a fucking cuisine during the hundreds of years they lorded over you

  44. #44
    Senior Member Andy's Avatar
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    Needs two of everything, that's all that's bothers me. Hate it when you get one egg, hashbrown, sausage etc.

  45. #45
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Jk these sound pretty good

  46. #46
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mugbull View Post
    Good fucking God, how did the French not introduce a fucking cuisine during the hundreds of years they lorded over you
    Nobody needs most French food in their lives. The British did well not to take it on.

  47. #47
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    Nobody needs most French food in their lives. The British did well not to take it on.
    Well that’s a lie. You’ll get Jimmy Floyd on your side though.

  48. #48
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mugbull View Post
    Well that’s a lie. You’ll get Jimmy Floyd on your side though.
    The pastry stuff is good but they can keep all those greasy bony stews.

  49. #49
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Pastries are shit unless they contain meat. Croissants can fuck right off.

  50. #50
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    For a country which has zero native spices, I think we do alright.

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