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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #3051
    Senior Member Andy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    I've been called up for jury service. The maximum allowances for loss of earnings are about half of my wage. I know some employers will pay you something but there's more chance of Double Gloucester pyramids falling from the sky than of my lot paying me a single penny for two weeks.

    To think people moan about the BBC licence fee. At least you're getting something for that.
    I thought you just got paid your normal salary, what a joke.

  2. #3052
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Yep, it's £64.95 a day maximum and that's only if they keep you there over four hours. If not it goes down to £32 something.

    £5.71 lunch allowance too, I love the specificity.

  3. #3053
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Here you get nothing except lunch provided from the court service end of things but your employer is legally bound to allow you to attend and pay you as if you were in work. If you're self employed you will most likely get an exemption from it altogether.

  4. #3054
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Here, the employer is legally bound to give me leave but doesn't have to pay a penny. If he doesn't pay me (going to ask this morning), I will have to get him to sign a form saying so which will make me eligible to claim loss of earnings allowance (itself involving several more forms). I'll then pay everything up front while I'm doing it and get a reimbursement about 2-4 weeks later.

  5. #3055
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    I looked into it a few years ago for some reason and couldn't believe how shit it was. No wonder there are so miscarriages of justice when the jury are probably desperate to get home and stop losing money.

  6. #3056
    I used to be funny.
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    I'd take jury duty over this week of work. It's half term, the office is quiet and there is no conversation.

  7. #3057
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    My office has conversation, but it's all about Marvel films and phone upgrades. How do people live having this few interests?

  8. #3058
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    Do you enjoy your job shinners?

    Sounds pretty monotonous.

    Any word back from your employer Jim?

  9. #3059
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    My office has conversation, but it's all about Marvel films and phone upgrades. How do people live having this few interests?
    I like to think I can talk at least a little about a wide range of things but most people in our office seem to only talk about football or serial killer podcasts.

    Or occasionally, if they really want to bore the tits off me, politics.

    At least the pathological liar in here has the decency to make up entertaining yarns about how he bumped into his now-lesbian ex-girlfriend who couldn't keep her hands off him.

  10. #3060
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    The deep-fried Mars Bar was decent, but the Creme Egg was a shocker. It just turned into bird shit.

  11. #3061
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    I don't think I've ever heard of anyone having a deep fried creme egg. You've gone off piste with that nonsense. Get a portion of deep fried Maltesers.

  12. #3062
    Fuck like you cook.
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    It was on ITV News a couple of years ago someone having a deep fried creme egg and then he bit into it. No, no, no. You don't even have to be a foodie to know that that is repulsive.

  13. #3063
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by John View Post
    I don't think I've ever heard of anyone having a deep fried creme egg. You've gone off piste with that nonsense. Get a portion of deep fried Maltesers.
    Only a Scotch could unironically post this.

  14. #3064
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I should have got the Crunchie but the Creme Egg is seasonal so... There was a diabetes collection tin on the counter as well.

  15. #3065
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    I'm not a fan of Creme egg at all.

  16. #3066
    Fuck like you cook.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry View Post
    I'm not a fan of Creme egg at all.
    I wouldn't mind trying to make them in all honesty. I'd like to think in time I'll start making sweet/deserts again as I used to enjoy that as a youngster. I used to work with a chef who was an actual chocolatier(?) on the side and some of the stuff he did was madness.

  17. #3067
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Disco View Post
    Only a Scotch could unironically post this.
    Good thing I'm a Brit.

  18. #3068
    I used to be funny.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Foe View Post
    Do you enjoy your job shinners?

    Sounds pretty monotonous.
    Kinda. The job is piss but if there's no craic then it drags. I'm opposite two boomers that live with their earphones on so it largely depends on who else is in. Sometimes you get some fun drama from a phone call (like claimants who've been waiting six months to be seen) which makes the day go quicker. It's piss and that's usually enough.

  19. #3069
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry View Post
    I'm not a fan of Creme egg at all.
    There’s far better out there (Cadbury caramel, Galaxy, Reeses) so they’re not worth nothing with.

  20. #3070
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    I would not have had you down as a Reese's fan.

  21. #3071
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry View Post
    I would not have had you down as a Reese's fan.
    The big cups and white cups are my ultimate sweets. What’s not to like about peanut butter?

  22. #3072
    Fuck like you cook.
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    Do yourself a solid, Giggles.

    Worth every penny.

  23. #3073
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry View Post
    I'm not a fan of Creme egg at all.
    Those packets of mini cream eggs are the absolute business. Makes them so much better to eat and easy to smash the entire bag and then feel horrendous from all the sugar.

  24. #3074
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    Found out the reason I was papped for that job was because I am not chartered.

    Professional accreditation is such a waste of time, and yet now it’s not. Annoying.

    My company is in transition AGAIN though and more job cuts loom. Thankfully I’m above average for my level (lol) so it won’t affect me, but it’s bloody annoying. CEO is pretty deluded too by all accounts which I hadn’t realised until now.

  25. #3075
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    Here, the employer is legally bound to give me leave but doesn't have to pay a penny. If he doesn't pay me (going to ask this morning), I will have to get him to sign a form saying so which will make me eligible to claim loss of earnings allowance (itself involving several more forms). I'll then pay everything up front while I'm doing it and get a reimbursement about 2-4 weeks later.
    Have you read the secret barrister? This barely registers compared to some of the abject bullshit he talks about.

  26. #3076
    I used to be funny.
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    Guys, when you hear the phrase 'reducing footprint', what does that make you think of?

  27. #3077
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    If you’re in a big industrial company - emissions/carbon.

    If you’re in a call centre, p45.

  28. #3078
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Trying to persuade people to use the self-service machines in my new branch is proving tricky. One day I cheerfully walked up to an elderly lady queuing for the counter, said "hello! what do y..." "NO". Practically screamed in my face. Sorry mate.

    I know as a big lefty loser it seems like I should be advocating people refusing to use the self-serve machines to SAVE OUR JOBS, but it really doesn't work like that. The bank reckons each transaction done at a till costs x, and each one done at a self-serve costs about 1/2x. When branch closure decisions are generally made on a profit vs cost analysis, it's pretty obvious that it's gonna be counterproductive for them to insist on it.

    Plus, if we're spending our day withdrawing 200 quid for customers over the counter, we're obviously not free to flog life insurance etc. Like, I'm not defending the ethics behind the policies, but it's the reality of it. It's amazing how many people seem to think busy branch = profitable branch.

  29. #3079
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I've never hear of 'reducing footprint' used outside of eco-wankery.

  30. #3080
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Old people absolutely seethe with howling fury when you ask them to try anything new. It's just a fact of life.

    Not just old people actually. People whose lives/jobs haven't required any form of progress. A lot of my customers (engine rebuilders) are like this. Some of them throw proper tantrums and cry with abject frustration when you ask them to check their emails for an invoice we've sent, or whatever. Didn't need computers thirty years ago, why do we need them now?

  31. #3081
    I used to be funny.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Foe View Post
    If you’re in a big industrial company - emissions/carbon.

    If you’re in a call centre, p45.
    I could consider both an option, then. We're in a half-empty building with fuck all work. Empty seats cost money, apparently.

  32. #3082
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Someone at works been signed off with cancer. The atmosphere in the office actually felt better after it was announced.
    I'm a twit

  33. #3083
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    Went for an informal type of chat at a school where they’re advertising for a second in department. Used to work with the deputy so had a catch up with her and then met the head of history who seemed sound. Big school, surplus budget = they can actually afford stuff. I badly want to work there now. More money, slightly longer commute but not by much. Certain I can get an interview but just as certain I’ll stuff it up.

  34. #3084
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Holy shit, I nearly did double my wage afterall. Total taxable to date is 53000, from 35000 when I left engineering. So based on this month it looks like I'll finish on 58000.

    Not bad for first full FY in sales.

  35. #3085
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    'If this doesn't win her back...'

  36. #3086
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    Wait don't tell me Magic and his new girl split

  37. #3087
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    No course not. She met the kiddo too.

  38. #3088
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bruhnaldo View Post
    Wait don't tell me Magic and his new girl split
    He's going to propose next week.

  39. #3089
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    Quote Originally Posted by mo View Post
    Went for an informal type of chat at a school where they’re advertising for a second in department. Used to work with the deputy so had a catch up with her and then met the head of history who seemed sound. Big school, surplus budget = they can actually afford stuff. I badly want to work there now. More money, slightly longer commute but not by much. Certain I can get an interview but just as certain I’ll stuff it up.
    Interview week Friday. No details yet on what the day looks like, what I'll have to teach about, but I can start prepping at least.

  40. #3090
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    A few of us are having our positions upgraded at work (from their current joke level to merely being conventionally under-valued), which means having to re-apply and interview for these 'new' jobs. That ought to be a formality, but I've thrown some excitement into the mix by moaning like shit about the whole process. See you in the re-deployment pool.

  41. #3091
    Just Luca, but still a DJ Luca's Avatar
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    Maybe they'll punt you back to the north of Scotland on a one-way ticket. Arctic defense.

  42. #3092
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Compensation day today and I'm at giggles normally assumed level of smugness. It's been a good day.

  43. #3093
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Post numbers or gtfo.

  44. #3094
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Luca View Post
    Maybe they'll punt you back to the north of Scotland on a one-way ticket. Arctic defense.
    I offered to move up there for a few months and sort it all out for 'oil rig money', but they reckon they've got a handle on it (which they reckoned two years ago and yet...).

  45. #3095
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    We’re hiring another new person and an apprentice. We didn’t even need the last prick they hired.

  46. #3096
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Actually, that’s just reminded me that the little ferret is off on holidays tomorrow so I can leave my headphones in the car

  47. #3097
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    As you all know I'm a Graphic Designer but this week I was asked to 'look up and report back' someone that is protesting us 'because you're good at that internet stuff'.

    In less than 10 minutes, I found out he was on a Sex Offenders list, had his mugshot, criminal record and an article from the 80s about his campaign advocating for branding people who had HIV/AIDS.

    Productive day.

  48. #3098
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    We're starting to finally get some new directives w/r/t coronavirus. Now we can all only enter through one (1) entrance of the hospital. Patients, visitors, employees....

    Tomorrow is going to be a shit show!

  49. #3099
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    As you all know I'm a Graphic Designer but this week I was asked to 'look up and report back' someone that is protesting us 'because you're good at that internet stuff'.

    In less than 10 minutes, I found out he was on a Sex Offenders list, had his mugshot, criminal record and an article from the 80s about his campaign advocating for branding people who had HIV/AIDS.

    Productive day.
    I do this sometimes and it really is satisfying to basically have the power of "yea buddy I can basically be on your fuckin' doorstep tomorrow and you'd have no idea who I am whilst you're post stupid shit on the internet because you think you're anonymous."

  50. #3100
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Post numbers or gtfo.
    30% bump.

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