News of the day

[Yevrah]

I was at a Sainsburys over the weekend as an old boy who probably does 10 miles a week normally was packing his bags while telling the cashier how he and his wife both did a Giggles first thing that morning. The cashier then said she'd also panic bought before work.

Utterly furious inside I wondered how far one could go with this before the cashier would find it unacceptable, so as I was packing my bags I struck up a conversation about it before telling her that me and the Mrs have four cars at home and while we only ever drive two of them we'd filled all of them up at 4:57 this morning. Not a hint of disturbed was seen on her face before she then said, without any hint of irony, "you can't be too careful, can you".

It's a shame the Chinese didn't let a far worse virus escape.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's the driving kids half a mile to school that winds me up. Takes hours and hours off my life, that. That's how it is in the west now, post internet age - everyone is an island.

[Lewis]

Opening scene on the moon, the flag the US placed can be seen and in the distance is earth, we zoom in through Google Maps to a Sainsbury's. A middle aged...

[Yevrah]

Not really sitcom worthy that one, sadly.

[Yevrah]

We're having to suspend 20 year+ competition laws to get out of this.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-58701620

Would probably make more sense to suspend all of the newspapers involved in Friday's debacle, but obvs no one has the balls even have a go at them.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Is it even newspapers per se? Facebook mum hysteria can feed off the slightest thing.

[Yevrah]

And what in the sweet mother of fuck is this about?

The headline confused me enough:

Labour conference: Not right to say only women have a cervix, says Starmer

And two paragraphs in I'm utterly broken.

Sir Keir Starmer says it is "not right" to say only women have a cervix amid a row involving one of his MPs.
Rosie Duffield came under fire after supporting online criticism of a tweet, which referred to "individuals with a cervix" to be inclusive of trans men.

The incident was called transphobic by trans rights supporters - but Labour MP Ms Duffield rejects the claim.
Asked about the row, Sir Keir said claiming only women have cervixes was "something that shouldn't be said".

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-58698406

[Giggles]

The Sun being able to get the army on the streets in a matter of days shows how much they really run the country.

[Yevrah]

Is it even newspapers per se? Facebook mum hysteria can feed off the slightest thing.

The story was rumbling for a while no, then this appears and, well...

[Boydy]

It's the driving kids half a mile to school that winds me up. Takes hours and hours off my life, that. That's how it is in the west now, post internet age - everyone is an island.

Prompted by me just having a quick browse of it and it relates to your "facebook mums" and everyone is an island stuff, but have you ever looked at Nextdoor? It is fucking horrendous.

[Lofty]

Petrol is running out, but only because people are being idiots. The supply is normal, demand is through the roof.

Give it until Wednesday and no cunt will be buying Petrol because they've got a years supply in the shed.

Exactly, the Morrisons near me announced they sold 32000 litres of diesel in 24 hours, normally that lasts them 5 days.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Prompted by me just having a quick browse of it and it relates to your "facebook mums" and everyone is an island stuff, but have you ever looked at Nextdoor? It is fucking horrendous.

No. Do I need to add it to my Orwellian watch list?

All one needs in a society is for individuals to believe that they are part of something bigger than themselves. Doesn't even matter what. In the last 10 years it's gone.

[Kikó]

Next door is like Facebook but all the people on it live near you. It's fucking awful.

[Giggles]

Sounds fucking septic. This is why you don't have neighbours at all.

[Dquincy]

No. Do I need to add it to my Orwellian watch list?

All one needs in a society is for individuals to believe that they are part of something bigger than themselves. Doesn't even matter what. In the last 10 years it's gone.

Like Jonestown, and that ended well.

The leader of that cult was reverend Jim Jones. Your username is making a lot of sense now... Jimmy Floyd Jones.

[phonics]

No. Do I need to add it to my Orwellian watch list?

All one needs in a society is for individuals to believe that they are part of something bigger than themselves. Doesn't even matter what. In the last 10 years it's gone.

Wonder why when the party of individuals > society has run the joint for 15 years.

[Jimmy Floyd]

40 plus years. Maggie obviously laid the groundwork for all this (most of it necessary), TB ran with it (the absolute king of 'aspiration culture' as Lofty describes above), and then DC brought the Etonian complacency that was needed to allow the hyenas to move in, and which the aforementioned duo just couldn't match. The current bunch of ghouls have zero ideas, they're just on the take.

I can't wait until my generation and the one below gets into power and makes things even worse with its deranged take on 'socialism'. I haven't heard a single positive vision for the country, from any side, in at least 10 years.

[randomlegend]

The current bunch of ghouls have zero ideas, they're just on the take.

And yet you'll still vote for them.

Or perhaps not since they did the one thing you apparently can't abide and put taxes up.

[SvN]

I went to buy petrol on Saturday as I was running a bit low (25% of a tank left), and 6 places near me were all closed as they were empty. I drove to visit my mum yesterday and noticed Sainsbury's was open, but had a queue - so I went there. While queueing I saw at least 10 people filling up containers with petrol, most of which didn't even bother putting any in their car.

It's these cunts who are responsible for the shortage. I don't know why places haven't put some sort of measures in place to prevent it.

[Don]

Is it not illegal to hold petrol outside of a vehicle or some shit? I'd fucking love to see one of these trannies at a petrol station. I'm having to go to one today as need to drive to Heathrow tomorrow. I presume motorway stations are all fine so that's my last resort.

[Disco]

It has to be a regulation container, you can't just fill up a bin or put a paddling pool in your boot.

[Boydy]

Why not just ban containers for the meantime?

[Spikey M]

Because people are running out of fuel and have no choice but to use a Jerry Can.

[Yevrah]

Fair play to George Eustice for blaming the people for this shambles and boo at the official Downing Street response saying he wasn't.

[Manc]

Driving to Gatwick on Wednesday and I can't find fuel anywhere.

[Manc]

Secured. Filled the fucker up for good measure.

[Dquincy]

Driving to Gatwick on Wednesday and I can't find fuel anywhere.

Cycle it.

[Dquincy]

General opinion of the public on the blaming of the current petrol crisis. Interesting that even the Leave voters accept that Brexit is partly responsible.

View Tweet

[Dquincy]

But there is also this...

View Tweet

[Shindig]

Last Labour Government?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Probably will be the last Labour government if their current conference is anything to go by.

Remain voters are still fighting the last war.

[Lewis]

I thought it might have been some 'community' thing at first when they were being a bit cagey about details.

Not quite. I hope those immigration takes from after the tennis are still warm.

[Lofty]

Any twat filling a jerry can on a forecourt right now should be executed on the spot. Would solve quite a few problems quickly I imagine.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I googled 'jerry can' just now to see where you would actually get one from, as I've never seen one in the wild I don't think. Clicked onto Halfords to look at the 10 litre version and got '386 people are viewing this now'.

20 quid. This was the first review (4 stars out of 5):

dose wot it says on the tin
you need to get the funnal to go with it. the magnettic lid is briliant.

[Lofty]

https://www.dailysabah.com/sports/fo...fatal-shooting

[randomlegend]

I googled 'jerry can' just now to see where you would actually get one from, as I've never seen one in the wild I don't think. Clicked onto Halfords to look at the 10 litre version and got '386 people are viewing this now'.

20 quid. This was the first review (4 stars out of 5):

dose wot it says on the tin
you need to get the funnal to go with it. the magnettic lid is briliant.

You must have seen them, loads of petrol stations have them in.

Or do you not drive?

[niko_cee]

Anyone with petrol based garden equipment public enemy number 1 at the moment then I guess.

I've been doing a bit of lift and coast in sympathy with you all. Always reminds me of some C5 shitumentray about the world's oikiest fuckers where they'd countdown to some idiot going that step further than lift and coast and turning the engine off going down some mountain road in a hire car only to realise [too late natch] that turning the engine off engages the steering lock and off the cliff you go . . .

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

You must have seen them, loads of petrol stations have them in.

Or do you not drive?

I don't think I've ever seen a proper metal jerry can at a petrol station. They usually have those cheap and crappy plastic ones.

[Don]

Didn't get the fuel. Counter at 39 miles. Motorway servife station is 20 miles away. Heard someone today say they were out. Will be banter if that holds tomorrow lunch-time.

[randomlegend]

I don't think I've ever seen a proper metal jerry can at a petrol station. They usually have those cheap and crappy plastic ones.

Was Jimmy specifically talking about the metal ones?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I haven't ever been looking for one, so no doubt I have seen them but not noticed them.

[Giggles]

A jerry can is the metal one that the Germans used to use. The plastic ones are just a fuel can.

[randomlegend]

I did not realise that was an official distinction but it does appear to be.

[Giggles]

That’s where the Jerry name comes from. Though it is probably used for them all now like one of those things like hoover or vise grips.

[Lofty]

Metal Jerry Cans these days are more likely to be seen having been upcycled into shit portable mini bars.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That’s where the Jerry name comes from. Though it is probably used for them all now like one of those things like hoover or vise grips.

German engineering stolen during the war effort because the English petrol cans were too expensive, heavy and shit.

[Ian]

Apparently some group of crackpots called "Moms for Liberty" are trying to stop Tennessee schools using a book which describes how seahorses mate. It's apparently "too sexy" for children.

Stupid sexy seahorses.

[Spikey M]

I mean, the female does get the male up the duff. It's basically feminist porn.

[Offshore Toon]

That’s where the Jerry name comes from. Though it is probably used for them all now like one of those things like hoover or vise grips.

Yeah, during the Occupation over here (and probably Guernsey) any gal that slept with a German officer was called a Jerry-Bag.

[Baz]

Prompted by me just having a quick browse of it and it relates to your "facebook mums" and everyone is an island stuff, but have you ever looked at Nextdoor? It is fucking horrendous.

I got myself an absolute massive lot of 1999-2003 era Pokémon cards from there so I will never ever bad mouth it.