I'm telling you now, I've seen Mahow plumb new depths that made me have to take a multi-year hiatus to recover from but this looks to be possibly worse.
I'm telling you now, I've seen Mahow plumb new depths that made me have to take a multi-year hiatus to recover from but this looks to be possibly worse.
You’re welcome, everyone.
I'm a twit
Stick around for this one. The prison stories will be worth it.Originally Posted by Don
I'm happy to go deeper if it makes you leave.
The wheels are definitely coming off your banter bus at some point, Baz. Reminds me of my brother in law always cackling about all the pranks he does on his boss whilst I think 'we know who will be first in line when the redundancies hit'.
😂
Same. I gave up around August/September.
Yeah, I'm very much just counting down now. Never has a break been more needed.
Likewise, I haven't had any annual leave since starting this new job in August (with a load of weekend work as well) and I am running on fumes.
6 more days to go. Boss is off for a them all too.
I had the week of 20th November off to use up some holidays (I've still got plenty for Christmas) and that was a mistake. Cba now, just looking forward to 19th December and will probably go back on about the 4th January.
I'm here until the 22nd and it's all attack. Already defeated the logistics scummers once, next job is to do well in the end of year pay appraisal. If these fuckers don't promote me to at least managing a couple of markets next year they can do one.
I’m off this week to use holidays. Unfortunately I couldn’t just bang in the last week before Christmas because I’m part of the crew that brings the site into shutdown mode, so I’ll be the one of the last ones into the pub on Friday 22nd.
Christmas on a Monday might be the best possible day.
It's great Christmas landing on a workday this year. Germany have a great thing of not giving you a holiday day if it falls on the weekend so last year Christmas and new year were just another day.
I'm off this week which just gives me a chance to get some Christmas shopping in. Then it's a long wait until March for my next time off.
And we wonder how things like 1933 happened.
It makes me pine for the alternativ für Deutschland
Dawsland Uber Alles.
On the flipside, Germany have more public holidays in general, not to mention the bridge day if the holiday is on a Thursday. Net positive all in all.
Do they get a bank holiday for every war they've bottled? Lololol
Can't believe the German work ethic allows for the old faire le pont.
Depends on the state. Bavaria gives you a huge 13 days. Hesse only gives 10.
We will win the next one.
"We".
Another nationality confirmed for Keeks!
Citizen of the World.
I've been shortlisted for a secondment opportunity within the CS. Two year term, promotion, and a 30% pay rise. I submitted a business case today for review, but have been told it's likely to be rejected due to high staff turnover. If they block the move on that basis I'll be going on long term sick and rinsing them for every penny.
On the CS, from what I've seen, they don't half have their finger on the pulse when it comes to AI which is fucking baffling given their important systems are generally about 30 years old but inshallah the revolution is swift and we can sail off into the sunset with a glorious redundancy offer.
I thought you'd like that one 😉
She just asked me if Houston was in America or in Singapore. I know people are ignorant etc but she's 41 years old, surely you've got to have more of a fucking clue than that. Obviously I come off as the bad guy when I give a sharp intake of breath at the question before composing myself and answering as calmly as possible.
Did you quote Apollo 13?
I'm a twit
It's called performative stupidity, Jimmy. For some unknown reason, there is a certain type of woman that thinks it's cute to be thick. I worked with one that pretended to think the moon was just the sun at night time and was horrified everytime one of her ridiculous comments was added to "the list" that one of her tittering mates kept. So horrified that she had to go room to room telling everyone what had happened. Totes hilare.
It's best for your mental wellbeing to just answer the question as if it was a fair one and not give them any energy. Acknowledging the stupidity only encourages it.
Answer it wrong
Somehow, pound for pound, not even the most stupid thing that's happened here this morning. One of my colleagues looks after some of the African markets, and like all of us has been told by the sith ifrican private equity legends that he has to grow these markets. After making business trips to Bangladesh, Mongolia and Uzbekistan so far this year, he was told it was time for an African trip. He looked at the countries under his name and decided to make a business case for a trip to Senegal. It's a relatively prosperous country, politically stable, you can get money out of it easily (which is always the sticking point in Africa), and there are some good agricultural lands in the north around the river Senegal where there could be a half decent market for us and already a couple of leads.
He gave this case to the South Africans and they told him listen, bru, we appreciate your well thought-out trip plan, but instead of that we're going to make you go to Ethiopia, because it's got more land and a bigger GDP. He said, erm, lads, we have no leads at all and there's a civil war on. They said yeah, we don't care, you're going there anyway.
He's now trying to put together a trip plan for Ethiopia which involves going to a hotel in Addis Ababa, staying there at all times, and hoping some prospective customers will agree to meet him there.
He should seek employment legal advice. I mean, look at the state of that gov.uk link.
Yeah, I was going to say the same thing. You can't send your employees on a business trip to a fucking war zone.
They literally don't care, they just look on a spreadsheet, see that we had a $100,000 order from there in 2018 or something that hasn't been repeated, and say 'Bru, we're losing business, get your orse over there'.
I told him he should refuse to go, he's the biggest yes man ever so will probably go anyway.
I'm happy to put work first a lot, but I'd want a substantial sum of danger money to even get on a plane there, no matter where I was holed up when I arrived.
Has to be said, for all of the things that don't work very well in this country, the travel advice and presentation of it on gov.uk really is excellent.
Don't work for those people. Fucking hell.
What are the death in service benefits like at your spot, Jim?
Performative thick women are definitely a thing in the office, also see women who know they are fit and speak in a childlike voice fawning over the men they know can make their life easier.
Our Government websites are absolutely unrivalled. Probably our greatest export these days.
They're probably looking at gun-running to get the revenues going. Use your Colombian connections to get a cut of the action, Jim.
My sister works within the home office and when STOP THE BOATS first came about she was asked if she would go to Rwanda to help with processing the new arrivals. Turns out they asked her whole office and uptake was very low. That turned into we need X amount of people and if there aren't enough volunteers, names will be drawn and those drawn will be going.
It's very worth checking the contract to see if they can force it or not.
Rwanda is nothing like Ethiopia though. I mean, their tourist board is advertising on Arsenal kits. I'm not sure I'd particularly want to go, but it's not the same as your boss trying to send you to an active war zone. In the 90's it would have been, obviously, but not so much these days.
Speaking of dumb, my new starter has been tasked with contacting veterans services for something (not by me) and has just emailed a veterinarian.
I'm a twit
This is what I'm talking about. What have these people been doing all their lives?
Being cute.
I'm a twit
Next time they’re recruiting you should volunteer to be on the interview panel so you can pick a good one. My new starter is basically my BFF after 11 weeks. Chat all day on Teams/calls and then message most evenings. Probably helps that she’s nice to look atbut I had a similar friendship with a (male) colleague previously, albeit less intense, so our relationship isn’t purely driven by lust. Absolutely smashing her job too. Still can’t spell, but I’ve got her a dictionary for Christmas.
She's good though...
Baz is going to drag this woman up the chain where she can do some real damage.
This morning's office bullshit has been about the apparent return of Gladiators to our screens. My colleague claimed that the original version was fronted by the gay footballer, Justin Fashanu. I contended that it was in fact his disturbing weirdo brother, John, who had been on hosting duties. An argument raged to no agreement and he went back to sulk at his desk.
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