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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #9301
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    These bloody snowflakes these days aren't even prepared to write off months of their life in case a work trip happens during that time. Makes me sick to be honest.

  2. #9302
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    If he can get through customs.
    Already done that. Preclearance in Dublin.

  3. #9303
    I used to be funny.
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    That's thinking ahead ... two days behind. Enjoy.
    Last edited by Shindig; 30-01-2023 at 07:35 PM.

  4. #9304
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Only been in SF airport for an hour or two and seen two service dogs already. Not guide dogs, mind. "Service" dogs. Americans love that shit, don't they?

    Maybe get some universal healthcare instead of having to drag service animals around with yiz, yiz mad cunts.

  5. #9305
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    We got Shinners for these anecdotes, get a fucking hooker in and eiffel tower him with your boss.

  6. #9306
    I used to be funny.
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    At Seattle I saw a fat cow get wheelchair assistance so she could use it to carry her one bag of luggage.

  7. #9307
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Not a peep since 1am. He's definitely been arrested. An Oxbridge Communist was never going to go bowling in.

  8. #9308
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Especially one who got his entry documents muddled up. Some sexually frustrated TSA agent is currently rummaging around his bowel.

  9. #9309
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    More than 12 hours now. Should have hid in the Venezuelan Embasy lad.

  10. #9310
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Him and the boss are still trying to get rid of the hookers body.

  11. #9311
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    By the time I got to the hotel I'd been awake for 23 hours. I had two beers and went to bed. Just up now. All ready for a day of BUSINESS.

  12. #9312
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Make sure you read the financial news with your breakfast of black coffee and extremely crunchy toast. Wouldn't want to miss a change in the NASDAQ.

  13. #9313
    I used to be funny.
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    I just had to spend a day in the office after my home gear decided to brick itself.

  14. #9314
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Been offered 9% pay rise over two years (5% then 4%), the first part being backdated to April 2022. Suspect that will be accepted rapidly despite the various strings, though the strings mainly fuck over new starters.

  15. #9315
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Spent a while yesterday colour-coding my Outlook calendar and my god it's glorious. All 25 available colours have been utilised to great effect.
    I'm a twit

  16. #9316
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    I went on strike today. Couldn't make it to picket in time, but went to a rally at the town hall instead. Will strike on the three other proposed dates too.

  17. #9317

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    Good man

    Workers unite.

  18. #9318
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    My daughters school was open as normal. Something to do either being an academy. Do they get better pay or something?

  19. #9319
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    My daughters school was open as normal. Something to do either being an academy. Do they get better pay or something?
    No. My wife's school was the same - 2 out on strike, so carry on as normal. One teacher has been really unwell recently, but came in in case people thought she was striking. Mentalist.

  20. #9320
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mo View Post
    I went on strike today. Couldn't make it to picket in time, but went to a rally at the town hall instead. Will strike on the three other proposed dates too.
    Well in.

    There was nobody in my booked parking space today, and didn't have to turf anyone out the meeting room I'd booked. Frustrating that these are seen as positives and aren't taken as a given.

    What's TTHs view on this: You book a parking space in the work car park but when you arrive, someone has parked in it. There is public parking elsewhere which will add 5 mins onto your morning. Do you drive off and park in the public carpark/street, or do you just find an empty space in the work car park and fuck someone else over? I always drive off and park at the Church nearby, but it seems most of my colleagues just nick someone elses spot.
    I'm a twit

  21. #9321

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    Having to actually book a parking space aside (is this normal?), be a decent person and park in the public car park. Then pour a tin of paint over the offender's car.

  22. #9322
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    This frequently happens to me as there's a driving test centre right opposite my allotted space (don't have to book as obviously I'm in every day) and there are often trembling teenagers with their loser instructors sitting waiting in my spot. I just take someone else's space, and so in turn do they, etc.

    The more annoying issue is a certain group of south Asian instructors often get out their fold out chairs and sit down for a smoke in my space while their charges are off doing a test, so when I wind the window down and ask them to move, they start seething.
    Last edited by Jimmy Floyd; 02-02-2023 at 11:26 AM.

  23. #9323
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    I have to pay a monthly fee to park in the staff car park, and if I start in the afternoon there may well not be a space so I have to pay again (£12) to park in the public hospital car park.


  24. #9324
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    I hate that I have to book a desk in the office, booking a parking space would drive me mental. Do you just block book for like 3 months or something?

    I’ve decided I don’t mind going back to the office 3 days a week.
    The chips are seriously good.

  25. #9325
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    We've just had an order to create/update LinkedIn profiles. Groan, but OK. I go on there for the first time in months/years and what do I find: colleagues I thought were reasonable human beings posting absolute wank. "Love the technical side of my job - amazing to work with *customer X* on evaluating his needs and achieving a great value solution". What the fuck are you talking about, Dave?

  26. #9326
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    It really does reveal the hidden bellends. Some lad I used to play grid iron with is on there with twenty letters after his name waxing lyrical about being a global big player in industrial health and safety. I once saw him put his cleats on the wrong feet then swig a bottle of other people's piss.

    Obviously he wasn't a hidden bellend but amazing the facade people put on for that shitshow.

  27. #9327
    I used to be funny.
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    Are they actual qualifications or has he gone Jack Munroe and started listing diseases he's self-diagnosed with?

  28. #9328
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    I think they are but it's a bit like the nonces you see on facebook with degree letters after their name, except it is minor industry certificates.

  29. #9329

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    It's a complete load of toss generally (people posting/messaging) but I got headhunted on there so it's worth keeping updated if you've any ambition about progressing your career.

  30. #9330
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    The day I have LinkedIn, is the day I have completely given up on taking any enjoyment whatsoever from my life.

    Also why is everything such a ballache. For some reason all the contracts I’ve inherited are set up for 12 months, renewed every year and have been since at least 2014. And every year some schmuck (now me) has had to renew them, after advertising the service and confirming no other providers are interested. I assumed it had to be done that way but nope, so wheels are in motion to extend them for 2 or 3 years this time. Why has nobody else ever done this?
    I'm a twit

  31. #9331
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I had one, but some cunt I worked with once started writing glorified blogs about the dangers of silo working and other shite he definitely doesn't care about. It cringed me all the way to the delete profile button.
    Last edited by Spikey M; 03-02-2023 at 01:11 PM.

  32. #9332
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I got this job through it and hired my last two people through it, so it’s definitely worth keeping. Never read the bullshit in the feed though, and make sure to immediately block anyone sporting a preferred pronoun in their title.

  33. #9333
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Yeah similarly, I was hired through a recruiter looking on LinkedIn last time out and actually try to use it as my most up to date CV. Then I just update the CV document when I'm looking without as much effort.

  34. #9334
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post


    By the time I got to the hotel I'd been awake for 23 hours. I had two beers and went to bed. Just up now. All ready for a day of BUSINESS.
    This day of business started with seeing a homeless man doing his business on the street on the walk to the office. Right next to his sleeping bag too.

    Also saw someone shooting up in the street on wednesday on the way back from the office. And a few others at various points who looked like that's what they were doing but I couldn't tell for sure.

    Downtown Seattle is grim. It's just a bunch of skyscrapers that rich people drive into, park underground, ascend to their offices then go home from in the evening while the streets outside are full of homeless and mentally ill people.

    Spent the last couple of evenings in a more residential area which had a main street with bars and restaurants and stuff. A lot nicer than downtown but we still witnessed a load of police cars zooming past with sirens blaring towards what was apparently gunshots so that's still not great.

    Food was disappointing. Some of it really quite crap. The better stuff - a couple of burgers and some Mexican stuff, honestly, I've had better burgers in Belfast and Mexican just as good in fucking Belfast.

    Customer service, which is something I thought they'd be really good at, was ABSOLUTELY FUCKING SHITE. Like seriously abysmal. We were late into the office a few mornings because apparently it takes over 20 minutes to make a breakfast muffin or a ham, cheese and egg croissant. They take fucking ages in bars too. And then they still want tips, the cunts. Even Starbucks was extremely slow compared to what it's like back home.

  35. #9335
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    And yet we wet our pants with excitement when Ryan Reynolds is on BBC1.

  36. #9336
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    California.

    All downtowns in US cities look like that tbf, except for like NY, Chicago, and Boston. Horrid stuff.

    As for the service, see 'California ' above. What can you expect from those hipster wankers?

  37. #9337
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    California.

    All downtowns in US cities look like that tbf, except for like NY, Chicago, and Boston. Horrid stuff.

    As for the service, see 'California ' above. What can you expect from those hipster wankers?
    Seattle, California.

  38. #9338
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Why are you talking about California?

    Edit: Spikey has it covered.

  39. #9339
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Wait, I though he said he was going to San Francisco?

    Anyway, Washington is the same but even more hipster.

  40. #9340
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Why are you talking about California?
    Because I suck at reading. In any case, all my comments still apply.

  41. #9341
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    Wait, I though he said he was going to San Francisco?

    Anyway, Washington is the same but even more hipster.
    Did fly to SF and get a connecting flight to Seattle tbf.

  42. #9342
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    At least San Francisco is pretty.

  43. #9343
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    Nobody has used the word "hipster" since 2014, grandad.

  44. #9344
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    What are we using now?

  45. #9345
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    The shit service in the US was something that surprised me, too. I suppose when tips are automatic then they stop giving a shit.

  46. #9346
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    What are we using now?
    Heroin. Did you read any of Boydys post ffs?

  47. #9347
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    The shit service in the US was something that surprised me, too. I suppose when tips are automatic then they stop giving a shit.
    You'd think with their terrible employment laws they'd have to at least worry a bit about keeping their job?

  48. #9348
    I used to be funny.
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    The nicest way I'd describe service over there is 'direct'.

  49. #9349
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    The shit service in the US was something that surprised me, too. I suppose when tips are automatic then they stop giving a shit.
    Would you like to add a tip?

    20% 50% 200%

  50. #9350
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Oh, another absolutely insane thing I forgot - and I'd heard of this before coming to the US but didn't realise just how bad it was - the gaps in cubicle doors in public toilets.

    No wonder the mad cunts all shoot each other when you can't even take a shit at work in peace.

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