Spoonsky is a nonce lol.
Spoonsky is a nonce lol.
Hi @Spoonsky you pleb.
Give me a job spoony you little prick
Been dealing with some Bristol people today. I bloody love that west country accent.
Going out with the MD for a meal and a few drinks. Hoping to get some really juicy shit.
You'll probably end up fired.
Knocked up some shit on this yesterday and today and the managers (including the office managers' manager in the US) seemed really impressed. One of the senior guys on my team did all the hard work by doing the SQL queries to get the data from the database anyway. One of the managers here said "you're our Qlik SME now" and jotted down "lunch n' learn Qlik" (they buy lunch, someone does a presentation on some aspect of their job to teach others about it) on her notepad in a meeting and the US guy said it was 'amazing work' when I emailed him the sample.Originally Posted by Boydy
Yeah. I don't like it very much. Also, I took this job thinking I'd be doing some fucking coding and I've done fuck all so far. This Qlik Sense crap is new as some clients want some shit made with it and I'm the first one learning it so I'll end up getting pigeon holed in it.
Good job I'm leaving in a few weeks for the other job that I was offered at the same time.
That all probably sounds a bit big-headed/braggy but that's not what I'm trying to get at. Like I said, I'm planning to leave and had been planning to tell them this Friday but now I'm completely dreading it and feel really bad about it - a little bit of praise and I'll lick your balls. I'm a sucker for that shit.
How long have you been there again?
A month and a half. Realised pretty soon into it though that there's never going to be that much coding and I feel like the job was pretty much mis-sold to me by the recruiter.
When an American says 'amazing work' he usually means 'I haven't read your email and I'm eating two bagels and a watered down coffee.'
Got to have more staying power than that, btw.
I'd leave it off your CV when you move on from your new job if I were you. It's better to be unemployed than only last 6 weeks.
Yeah, I will do.
On the board.
Do you mean you're on the Board? Or is this cryptic code for he fingered you in the back of his car?
The office useless cunt is being moved sideways into a job that doesn't need doing, and then his job - which is basically a shell of a job, because he delegates/fobs everything off onto two others - will be filled in time. I suggested just sacking him and giving us all a share of his wages, which seemed like a popular idea, but apparently 'it doesn't work like that'. Well, yeah. My point exactly.
I dunno whether useless lifers are geniuses or just complete miracles of circumstance. I think it's more the latter, especially in the offices I've worked in.
Back to work today after 5 and a half weeks off.
Got two inset days which are always the most boring days. Much rather just start back with the kids in from day one and get on with it.
I took today off. I could still make it in for starting time though.
Certainly for big companies (or the ones I've worked for) it's just not very easy to get rid of somebody unless they do something actively awful.
A woman worked in our bit for two years and was never in danger of getting the boot despite being entirely incompetent until she accidentally swore on a call. And even then it wasn't found via a complaint, just dumb luck that they picked her call for a calibration.
So maybe you're right about the circumstance thing.
I think it's a bit of both, the amount of people who got away with being shit at DuPont was wild because their supervisor was in another country. I can't say much considering I was shagging the bird two offices down while on a conference call. #ladladladbanterbanterlad
Thinly veiled excuse to tell that story.
Duh. It was practically the last time a woman let me touch her.
Last day at this job today.
I'm a twit
I'm a twit
What are you going to be doing now?
Selling Amazon referral codes.
Working in an office.
I'm a twit
i drive about 35 miles to work every day.
today, upon arriving, my boss (off-site) asked me to call her. she then asked if i could drive 60 miles back in the direction i just came (and then further obviously) to cover at another facility.
i get to this facility (i do like financial assistance for uninsured patients) and i have literally no access to anything.
so i've been sat here since 1:15 just trying to pass the time. I still have two hours to go.
Providing they'll cover the petrol for the extra drive that sounds like a decent wheeze.
It’s America, the petrol probably only cost about 13c for that journey.
So my company has enabled call recording for all calls.
Fair enough, but it also applies to my work mobile (which I also use for my personal calls). What can I do.
Use your own phone for personal calls.
Call people on WhatsApp or Google Duo.
There was a dial in today and the ‘modernisation’ has been cancelled so my job is safe. I don’t want it, but it’s safe. In other news I have an interview tomorrow. The job is local and would double my wage, but the interview is in North fucking London.
I got a call yesterday about a job that would suit my field in a massive company that I've always wanted to get into. Any foot in the door and into the industry and you'd be well set. But it means going back to car ownership and I don't know if I could at this stage.
I got screamed and sworn at by a customer for no reason today. Finished the day by emailing management saying I will never deal with said customer again, so if they want his business they'll have to reassign him to someone else. Feels good man.
I have a slight worry that said customer is on the verge of suicide because his business is a complete failing piece of shit, we've revoked all his credit, and a few years ago a boat with one of his engines in it fucking sank, but that's not my responsibility.
Deleted all of my suspect calls.
Ah, recorded calls. There's a tape of me somewhere agreeing to a customer's demands, knowing I was leaving a couple of days later.
The nearest tube is ‘only’ 15 minutes walk away. Through 2 estates. Naaaaaaah Fam. Uber.com.
You work with farmers, I'm surprised half of them haven't blown their heads off already.
I mainly sell to little one man band parts traders or dodgy import/export dealers, who when they reach the point of desperation about a deal being delayed (usually with an equally dodgy customer of their own) just can't hack it. This particular one there is a fairly bad back story, to cut a long story short we lost one of our shipments to him because it was shipped to his ex-wife's address and he isn't allowed on the property unless under supervision.
First week back has knocked me on my arse. Fucking shattered.
Working in an office seems great. I sit next to an absolutely top bloke who reminds me so much of someone from TV but I can’t think who, and it really frustrates me. No amount of vague googling could ever solve it so hopefully it randomly comes to me before I go mad. He spent most of yesterday listening to cricket on headphones.
As for the job, it seems pretty straight forward. Another new guy started three days before me, doing the same job, so I’ve decided I’m gonna ruin his life by being ridiculously better than him at all aspects. I can tell he’s already gutted cos he’s sat on the women’s desks whereas me, Roger and Steve had lad lad lad banter. I even made a wanking joke yesterday when one of them was polishing his apple.
Last edited by Baz; 08-09-2018 at 05:24 AM.
I'm a twit
Sounds like an episode of the office that didn't make it
I am definitely Gareth.
I'm a twit
Is it Clive Anderson?
Had someone in on a trial week this week for a junior role. Despite starting horrendously and clearly being out of their depth, I've been genuinely impressed by how hard they've worked and improved as the week has gone on.
I've decided to take them on. Hopefully they can pick things up quickly because we're flooded with work at the moment.
Back to work tomorrow after two weeks off. I'm hoping all of China has imploded otherwise I'll be suicidal.
Just received this e-mail:
I wasn't aware we could even get in the building on a Saturday. Some people at this place work too hard.Please, be aware that this coming Saturday, September 15th, the cleaning company will clean the carpets of the entire office. It will be impossible to come in the office to work during the day in case you were planning to do so.
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