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Thread: Football for the month of February, 2022

  1. #1
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Football for the month of February, 2022

    Well, somehow another month has passed so the window has wheezed shut, the weird international break is coming to a close and Frank 'Super Frank' Lampard is BACK.

    Will he be shit? Does anybody care? How long will it be until the Goodison Seethe recommences if in fact his appointment has stopped it at all?

    Also this month:
    - United probably doing something idiotic in the absence of Cunto Greenwood rather than just, say, giving Sancho a load of games.
    - European football is BACK
    - Christian Eriksen is also BACK
    - Newcastle unleash their exciting oil money signings on the league. But are they on TARGETT to escape relegation? ()

    And speaking of Greenwood: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-englan...ester-60202000
    Manchester United footballer Mason Greenwood has been further arrested on suspicion of sexual assault and making threats to kill.
    Lovely fella.

  2. #2
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BBC
    Video game developer EA Sports said the forward had been removed from FIFA products. A statement said Greenwood had been removed from active squads in FIFA 22 and also suspended from appearing in FIFA Ultimate Team packs and Ultimate Draft.
    lol

  3. #3
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I'm sure they'll give all the people who got him out of paid-for packs their money back.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Australia firmly on the ropes.

  5. #5
    I used to be funny.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    - Newcastle unleash their exciting oil money signings on the league. But are they on TARGETT to escape relegation? ()
    I WOOD hope so.

  6. #6
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    I'm sure they'll give all the people who got him out of paid-for packs their money back.
    They can trade them in for Marcos Alonso.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Moving on to rapists at the opposite end of their custodial career, this Raith Rovers / David Goodwillie stuff is quality. The culture war finally descends on Kirkcaldy.

  8. #8
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I went to Kirkcaldy (at least a decade or so after I first came up to Scotland) and had more than one conversation with people where I genuinely only picked up about 30% of what they were saying to me. Incomprehensible.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    lol
    I saw someone post one of those Ultimate Teams in the FIFA thread the other week and it had Mendy in?

  10. #10
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    It was probably Ferland Mendy.

    Benjamin the rapist does have a card in the game but they were made unpullable a while ago. Those who pulled Benjamin Mendy and Greenwood prior to their removal will still have those cards on their account.

    Greenwood's card has also shot up in price because the FIFA community are weird. Same thing happens when a player dies.

  11. #11
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    Moving on to rapists at the opposite end of their custodial career, this Raith Rovers / David Goodwillie stuff is quality. The culture war finally descends on Kirkcaldy.
    I just don’t understand why they’re all kicking up fuss now when he’s been Clyde’s club captain for the past two years

  12. #12

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    Raith's main sponsor made a song and dance and pulled the plug.

  13. #13
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    Raith’s club statement is a thing of beauty.

  14. #14
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Avram Grope.

  15. #15
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Hadn't he been accused/convicted of some sort of misfeasance in the dim and distant?

  16. #16
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I remember a paper photographed him going to some manky brothel in Portsmouth, and his wife said 'Yeah, why shouldn't he?' One of the great marriages, that.

  17. #17
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Great story of his time at West Ham was that he was constantly sleeping at work, to the point he moved his office to the second floor so there'd be less people bothering him and the players would boot balls at his window when they knew he was sleeping.

  18. #18
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Did this turn out to be Mendy? Or has Mase been at it a while?
    I'm a twit

  19. #19
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Manc View Post
    Australia firmly on the ropes.
    Good. We need a clean out from top to bottom as we have a been getting rapidly worse since Ange was hounded out of the country.

  20. #20
    Just Luca, but still a DJ Luca's Avatar
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    Canada could all-but-mathematically qualify for the World Cup with a win tomorrow against El Salvador.

  21. #21
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    Did this turn out to be Mendy? Or has Mase been at it a while?
    The rumour was it was greenwood.

  22. #22
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kikó View Post
    The rumour was it was greenwood.
    Yeah. I only know cos I searched my text messages for Greenwood and saw I’d made a joke about updating the injuries for a new FM save with Mike and the Reid, I said if we were adding player injuries we should probably put Greenwood in jail. 13th November 2020.

    Not surprised she blasted it all over social media, cos clearly just reporting it to the police first time resulted in nothing.
    I'm a twit

  23. #23
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    United and GMP will be tight with each other.

  24. #24
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    The real football happening this month is the FIFA State-Sponsored Murder Club World Cup, brought to you in association with holding the other World Cup every two years.

    Tournament Preview
    Seven footballing giants assemble in the United Arab Emirates - specifically, the emirate of Abu Dhabi - with the prize at stake being the biggest one in football history: the best team in the world now, and therefore ever.

    Referees
    Five referees have been dispatched for this gigantic event. French jurist Clement Turpin is Europe's sole representative, and he is joined by Argentina's Fernando Rapallini, Mexico's Cesar Ramos, Australian finance professional Chris Beath, and Algeria's Mustapha Ghorbal.

    The Teams
    The opening match is between UAE champions Al-Jazira ('Pride of Abu Dhabi') and crack Tahitian outfit AS Pirae ('Ajkule') as they look to earn the right to compete in the final six of this massive, massive event. Al-Jazira have few recognisable names but do boast prolific striker Ali Mabkhout, scorer of 79 international goals for the Emirates. His sharp finishing will surely be too much for the Pacific islands outfit, whose participation in this event must surely be subject to some sort of stewards' enquiry looking at these alleged results from the 20-21 Tahiti league season:



    The winner of that clash will move on to face Saudi giants Al-Hilal ('the Blue Waves'). Now, the Saudis may have received some bad press over the years when it comes to the basic rights of women, throwing gay people off the top of buildings, and slicing up journalists with bone saws in foreign embassies. However, when it comes to domestic football, they know how to build a Asian CL-winning squad within tight foreign player limits. Former West Brom star Matheus Pereira, Mali hitman Moussa Marega, ex-Watford wide man Andre Carrillo, and ex-Stretford End favourite Odion Ighalo make up a galaxy of stars for the Riyadh-based outfit.

    If they win, their semi-final will be against west London side Chelsea ('the Blues'), fierce rivals of the likes of Fulham, QPR and Brentford. They have a bye straight to the semi-finals on 9 February but have only seven minutes of FIFA Club World Cup experience in their squad, all from a late sub appearance by Cesar Azpilicueta in the 2012 edition as then-manager Sir Rafael 'Rafa' Benitez looked to use all the weapons in his devastating attacking arsenal to claw back a 1-0 deficit against Corinthians, something he sadly failed to do. This side therefore lack experience at this level, and could struggle.

    On the other side of the draw, three more giants line up. Al-Ahly ('Club of Patriotism') of Cairo are African champions for the four millionth time and are, slightly startlingly, coached by South Africa's Pitso 'Jingles' Mosimane. Jingles is no flash in the pan, however, having taken three African titles in his coaching career. His squad will unfortunately be weakened by the Afcon, so for a semi-final berth you'd have to favour Mexico's Monterrey ('The Striped Ones'), managed by perennial global event favourite Javier Aguirre. Monterrey's front line is a veritable who's who of north London failures, including both Joel Campbell and Vincent Janssen among its options, but their star man is Rogelio Funes Mori, recently naturalised by Mexico.

    The final side in contention is Brazil's Palmeiras ('Big Green'). I don't recognise any of their players, but that's my ignorance and they are back to back Libertadores champions so must be alright.

    Schedule (all UK time)
    Thu 3 Feb: Al-Jazira v Pitae, 4.30pm
    Sat 5 Feb: Al-Ahly v Monterrey, 4.30pm
    Sun 6 Feb: Al-Hilal v Al-Jazira or Pitae, 4.30pm
    Tue 8 Feb: Palmeiras v Al-Ahly or Monterrey, 4.30pm
    Wed 9 Feb: Al-Hilal, Al-Jazira or Pitae v Chelsea, 4.30pm, E4
    Wed 9 Feb: Fifth place playoff, 1.30pm
    Sat 12 Feb: Third place playoff, 1.00pm
    Sat 12 Feb: Final, 4.30pm, Channel 4 (if Chelsea qualify)

    There may be other matches on E4, I don't know. TBH I didn't know E4 was still a channel.

  25. #25
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    Vietnam beat China 3-1 in World Cup Qualifying last night. Lol at China.




  26. #26
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    Nicola Sturgeon reckons the SPFL should step in and take action on the David Goodwillie situation. What does she reckon he's been up to for the past five years?

  27. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kikó View Post
    The rumour was it was greenwood.
    Get raped and battered and they stick a penalty notice on you for a covid breach. What a nation.

  28. #28
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    What action are the SPFL going to take that doesn't constitute restraint of trade?

  29. #29

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    Poor Clyde. No one gives a fuck about them.

  30. #30
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    They seem to be arresting Greenwood for more than the Twitter stuff covered, so does that mean the lass is going along with it and making what her old man came out with the other day even weirder?

  31. #31

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    That's one way to look at it.

  32. #32
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I'm happy to go along with RL's explanation of the dad's head being in bits, whilst not ruling out my more cynical one of him being in mourning for the gravy train.

  33. #33
    Senior Member Gray Fox's Avatar
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    Old forrin waster out at West Brom. Bruce ball returns!

  34. #34

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    Big fan of the image BBC have used.

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/60149753

  35. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gray Fox View Post
    Old forrin waster out at West Brom. Bruce ball returns!
    Might as well complete the Ron Saunders hattrick.

    Saunders was the ultimate agent. Won Villa the European Cup and relegated Blues and West Brom. Hero.

  36. #36
    Senior Member Gray Fox's Avatar
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    Roy Keane linked to taking back over at Sunderland. I hope they get his dog some Bonio.

  37. #37
    I used to be funny.
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    Steve.
    Bruce.

  38. #38
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Keane hates all players too much to ever be a manager.

  39. #39
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    Steve.
    Bruce.
    Good manager.

  40. #40
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Yeah but WOULD YOU WANT HIM AT UNITED, KIKO? EH?

    Toggle Spoiler

  41. #41
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Is he good enough for United though?

    Get fucked, Ian.

  42. #42
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    African keepers never fail to deliver.

  43. #43
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Mental decision from Koffi.

  44. #44
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Why YOU NOT TALKNG Bout ASian cup???

  45. #45
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Manc View Post
    Get fucked, Ian.

  46. #46
    Senior Member Gray Fox's Avatar
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    Did you not see Vietnams historic win for fucks sake?

  47. #47
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    These Japanese lot aren’t half bad for Celtic. Rangers back in the mud

  48. #48
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    Fair play they've absolutely nailed THE REBUILD.

  49. #49
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    What was that Burkina Faso player doing there?

  50. #50
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    Has anyone got a link to the Celtic game they'd like to share?

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