F1 2022 - El Plan

[Ben]

First pre-season test starts tomorrow so we might as well get the ball rolling on this one. I'll do a full breakdown for the non-nerds.

Calendar TRANSFERS:
Australia, Canada, Japan and Singapore return; Miami debuts.
Portugal, Qatar, Styria and Turkey out; China still playing the COVID card.

Grand Prix	Circuit	Date
Bahrain	Sakhir	March 20
Saudi Arabia	Jeddah	March 27
Australia	Melbourne	April 10
Emilia Romagna	Imola	April 24
Miami	Miami Gardens	May 8
Spain	Catalunya	May 22
Monaco	Monaco	May 29
Azerbaijan	Baku	June 12
Canada	Montreal	June 19
Britain	Silverstone	July 3
Austria	Red Bull Ring	July 10
France	Paul Ricard	July 24
Hungary	Hungaroring	July 31
Belgium	Spa	August 28
Netherlands	Zandvoort	September 4
Italy	Monza	September 11
Russia	Sochi	September 25
Singapore	Marina Bay	October 2
Japan	Suzuka	October 9
United States	Austin	October 23
Mexico City	Mexico City	October 30
Sao Paulo	Interlagos	November 13
Abu Dhabi	Yas Marina	November 20

Team TRANSFERS:
None. Red Bull and AlphaTauri will run engines badged as Red Bull Powertrains in 2022 but it's effectively the same Honda engine as last year; no other changes.

Driver TRANSFERS:
Kimi Raikkonen has retired at the end of 2021. His seat at Alfa Romeo is taken by Valtteri Bottas. His seat at Mercedes is taken by George Russell. His seat at Williams is taken by Alexander Albon.
Antonio Giovinazzi has been released by Alfa Romeo at the end of 2021. His seat is taken by Guanyu Zhou.
Nikita Mazepin has been released by Haas between the first and second tests due to sanctions against Russians. His seat is taken by Kevin Magnussen.

Constructor	Car	Engine	Drivers
Alfa Romeo	C42	Ferrari	(24) Guanyu Zhou (77) Valtteri Bottas
AlphaTauri	AT03	Red Bull	(10) Pierre Gasly (22) Yuki Tsunoda
Alpine	A522	Renault	(14) Fernando Alonso (31) Esteban Ocon
Aston Martin	AMR22	Mercedes	(5) Sebastian Vettel (18) Lance Stroll
Ferrari	F1-75	Ferrari	(16) Charles Leclerc (55) Carlos Sainz Jr.
Haas	VF-22	Ferrari	(9) Nikita Mazepin (20) Kevin Magnussen (47) Mick Schumacher
McLaren	MCL36	Mercedes	(3) Daniel Ricciardo (4) Lando Norris
Mercedes	W13	Mercedes	(44) Lewis Hamilton (63) George Russell
Red Bull	RB18	Red Bull	(1) Max Verstappen (11) Sergio Perez
Williams	FW44	Mercedes	(6) Nicholas Latifi (23) Alexander Albon

Rule changes:
- I think everybody is aware of the main rule change which involves a complete rework of the technical regulations, resulting in radically different cars from what we've seen in the last few years. Ground effect has been reintroduced along with a complete ban on bargeboards and a massive simplification of the front wing design, in an attempt to "make racing better" by eradicating much of the dirty air the old cars would produce (thereby massively reducing downforce of the trailing car).
- Additionally, those chunky 13" wheels we've associated with Formula 1 forever have been ditched in favour of 18" wheels. They now look a lot more like road car wheels which may or may not lead to increased sales for Pirelli in this sector. Rims are now standard equipment developed by BBS complete with 90's style hubcap wheel covers in a further attempt to control airflow from the cars.
- Sprint races remain, again at three races (this time Emilia Romagna, Austria and Sao Paulo). Points are now given to the top 8 (8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1) instead of just the top 3.
- Drivers who make it through to Q3 no longer have to start the race on the set of tyres they set their fastest lap on in Q2.
- Michael Masi is out as race director for making up his own rules in Abu Dhabi.

[7om]

Boldest prediction?

Mine: Leclerc will challenge for the driver’s championship.

[Ben]

In honour of the subtitle, I've got to go with Renault actually sorting out their engine and El Plan will indeed succeed and a 40-year old Fernando Alonso will be World Champion.

With my feet on the ground I'm going to say there'll not actually be much change to the pecking order and races won't be any better (as much because nearly every race in 2021 was fucking brilliant rather than the new regs being a damp squib).

[thommo]

Bold prediction - Albon to get at least two podiums. That Williams is going to be fast out of the blocks.

Realistically, most teams will stay where they are but hopefully we get some surprise winners like we have in the past couple of seasons. As long as it's close again, it'll be enjoyable.

[Jimmy Floyd]

My main desire for the season is for G-Russ to run into the side of Verstappen at Tarzan, causing some sort of riot in which Christian Horner is tragically trampled to death.

Bold prediction: Carlos Signs to beat Leclerc (again).

[Pepe]

What an opening post.

[Pepe]

@Ian, take note. I expect every football thread you start to be as detailed from now on.

[Ben]

My main desire for the season is for G-Russ to run into the side of Verstappen at Tarzan, causing some sort of riot in which Christian Horner is tragically trampled to death.

I hope its Bottas that does it just for old time's sake.

[Pepe]

Perez to beat Russell. Norris to beat Ricciardo. Sainz to beat Leclerc. Stroll to beat Vettel. Hamilton world champ.

[Clunge]

Just got a feeling that despite their progress, the new McLaren is going to be a complete dog.

[Ian]

@Ian, take note. I expect every football thread you start to be as detailed from now on.

I think you know there is not a chance of that happening.

Unless somebody catches my imagination like with the Vietnam or Southend threads.

[Giggles]

@Ian, take note. I expect every football thread you start to be as detailed from now on.

How do you know it’s not Ian?

[Shindig]

Everything's up in the air unless you're Haas. Although wasn't testing where Brawn showed their hand? Not that I see that happening again. The grid's had two years to think on this. Everyone will have a thesis.

Judging by the onboards from the Williams, I wonder if those covers over the front wheels can play havok with spray in wet conditions?

[Ben]

Everything's up in the air unless you're Haas. Although wasn't testing where Brawn showed their hand? Not that I see that happening again. The grid's had two years to think on this. Everyone will have a thesis.

This is probably revisionist but I seem to remember at least a few teams thinking Brawn had gone full beans in testing (in part to win sponsors) so weren’t overly concerned and thought they’d reel them in a lot quicker than it turned out.

[Shindig]

That's fair. That thing barely had any logos on it.

[7om]

Second bold prediction: Haas will get a podium this season.

[niko_cee]

I see the Merc is tooling around again with that weird chicken wire fence they seem to stick on the front of the car every year. What's the deal with that thing? Is it some sort of sensor array?

[Ian]

How do you know it’s not Ian?

Shh!

[Disco]

I see the Merc is tooling around again with that weird chicken wire fence they seem to stick on the front of the car every year. What's the deal with that thing? Is it some sort of sensor array?

Sounds like the air flow sensors they use, was it sat behind the front wheels? If so they'll be looking at how the air flows off/around the front bits of the car to make sure it's all being directed into the big floor scoops under the sidepods.

[Lewis]

Is Adrian Newey doing something nobody else has done pointing to them dominating, or can they all copy it after a couple of races?

[niko_cee]

What, with their now much talked about undercut sidepods?

Sounds like the air flow sensors they use, was it sat behind the front wheels? If so they'll be looking at how the air flows off/around the front bits of the car to make sure it's all being directed into the big floor scoops under the sidepods.

Aye, that's the one.

[Gray Fox]

Finally seeing a real version of a Red Bull today. Seems like Mercedes are on their own with that front wing design. It's so interesting to see the different ways the teams have gone about the same regulations.

My bold prediction for this season: Carlos Sainz jr. World Drivers Champion.

[Ben]

The Red Bull side pods look wacky. Top three teams with three completely different concepts. It’s going to be a fun season, at least to begin with.

[Ben]

Tickets for Sochi have been pulled. Apparently Turkey has been signed up as a replacement. I’ll update opening post if/when confirmed.

[Ben]

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[Jimmy Floyd]

The helmet is the sexiest part of that. There needs to be a rule about drivers using only 3/4 colours on their helmet and stick to the same one all season. Like fuck am I looking at the TV post things to tell the cars apart.

Also, mandatory names for all corners. No more 'Turn 13'. Make me FIA president now.

[Shindig]

Yeah, I miss being able to recognise drivers from iconic helmet designs. Schumacher, Hakkinen, Coulthard, Lauda, Hill, Senna. I know Lewis has a Senna motif going on but I can't call it from memory.

[Disco]

No more than 3 colours for a helmet and the size of paddock motorhomes should be directly proportional to how prominent the numbers are.

[Pepe]

The helmet is the sexiest part of that. There needs to be a rule about drivers using only 3/4 colours on their helmet and stick to the same one all season. Like fuck am I looking at the TV post things to tell the cars apart.

Also, mandatory names for all corners. No more 'Turn 13'. Make me FIA president now.

Yes, please.

Have I ever shown off my Valentino Rossi replica helmets in here? I look proper pro riding around on my Korean scooter with a big yellow 46 on the back of my head.

[7om]

Apparently yesterday Leclerc was 5km/h faster on the straights compared to last year.

[Giggles]

It's even nicer without the stripes.

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[phonics]

I love Turkeys new position of not having a race and getting one anyway every year.

[Ben]

Haas removed the Uralkali branding because now they’re genuinely concerned they won’t get paid due to sanctions. Guenther already making noises about binning Nikita.

[Luke Emia]

Looks like this could also spell the end for Mazepin. What a shame.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don't understand why there isn't already a total ban on all Russian involvement in this and any sport, much like the South African apartheid ban.

[7om]

Because F1 is inherently corrupt and cares about one thing only: cash. Everything else is a facade.

[Disco]

Because like in all things we want to feel good about banning cheats but it's too inconvenient/awkward to actually do it.

[Yevrah]

Like Gary Neville and the super league this appears to be breaking you a bit Jim.

Money drives capitalism and a capitalist society is the one in which we live.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Like Gary Neville and the super league this appears to be breaking you a bit Jim.

Money drives capitalism and a capitalist society is the one in which we live.

We also lived in a capitalist society when South Africa were locked out of international sport, when English clubs were banned post Heysel, and so on. What we live in now is the sportswashing era, and sport itself needs to end it.

[Ian]

What are your current ideas for corner names, Jimmy?

I hope there are some TTH themed ones.

[Yevrah]

We also lived in a capitalist society when South Africa were locked out of international sport, when English clubs were banned post Heysel, and so on. What we live in now is the sportswashing era, and sport itself needs to end it.

Yes, but the landscape was so different back then, the sports weren't awash with all this dodgy money and it's much less attractive to break ties as a result. I assume you're not following Chelsea anymore as of now, right?

[niko_cee]

He can probably still follow Chelsea and hold the view that dodgy owner money should probably be expunged from the game.

Good luck with that one though.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Yes, but the landscape was so different back then, the sports weren't awash with all this dodgy money and it's much less attractive to break ties as a result. I assume you're not following Chelsea anymore as of now, right?

I've always been hostile to the Abramovich ownership (or a lot more hostile than your average Chelsea fan is - I'm not going to switch to supporting Southend because a particular brand of cunt owns my club at this time) but at this point, if I was the FA/PL/UK Gov or whoever has the power, I would unilaterally stop televising our matches and make the team play behind closed doors (cutting off all income and exposure) until such time as the ownership changes or is linked to a less violent regime in Russia.

[Ian]

We should bring back calling them "Chelski" like my dad still does as if it's eternally 2005. That'll cut 'em deep.

[Lewis]

Imagine the gallery of shitheads lining up to buy Chelsea in the seized assets auction. Ken Bates coming back during Super Sunday like when Ric Flair bought Shane and Stephanie out.

[Shindig]

It'll be Mike Ashley.

"I did it ... for the high street." And I hope this ends up with 'Andretti' hastily scrawled on the side of the Haas' at some point this season.

[Ben]

"I did it ... for the high street." And I hope this ends up with 'Andretti' hastily scrawled on the side of the Haas' at some point this season.

That was my first thought. Andretti will just buy the carcass of Haas.

[7om]

Will the Bahrain test be televised?

[Ben]

Yes, full coverage from Sky et al.

[Yevrah]

I've always been hostile to the Abramovich ownership (or a lot more hostile than your average Chelsea fan is - I'm not going to switch to supporting Southend because a particular brand of cunt owns my club at this time) but at this point, if I was the FA/PL/UK Gov or whoever has the power, I would unilaterally stop televising our matches and make the team play behind closed doors (cutting off all income and exposure) until such time as the ownership changes or is linked to a less violent regime in Russia.

So you're not going to stop following Chelsea but you expect the PL to stop allowing fans into their games or tv stations broadcasting their games? A corking example of how we're all complicit in this to some degree and how we really don't care enough to do anything about it.