Maybe he called them Irish in Mutantards.
Maybe he called them Irish in Mutantards.
My boss keeps saying he's definitely leaving (after 39 years) and the department is completely underinvested in and lacks support. Seems like we're not far off all being made redundant tbh and I'm nowhere near my target of £1.5m...mainly because there's me, an admin person and two engineers. £1.5m!
Are you allowed to cross the road at lunchtime yet?
Targets are lol sometimes. The Arab's target this year is £3.5 million which is completely unrealistic. I told him they're exploiting him because his visa status means he can't leave the company, but he won't have it, and thinks it just means they believe in him.
Most of the time they are based in absolute fantasy and delusion. Mine was because it's what the department needed to have a successful year on top of remedial work. Logical, but not when you consider there's no support, no marketing, no staff, no productisation etc.Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd
Surely if you recognise they're exploiting staff you recognise you should bolt?
You mean I shouldn't work for a company/management that looks to squeeze where it can on potentially shaky ethical grounds? That will leave me short of prospective employers.
That is what I mean, yeah. Why would you accept that? The entire world isn't as shady as you're making out.
It is. Anyone running a profitable company is a shady cunt. "Business" is gross.
Let's say you go for a new job, value yourself at £40k, are offered £35k, eventually you accept an improved offer of £38k. Are they unethical? Well, for having tried to obtain your services for less than what they were ultimately prepared to pay, yes they are. Are you a sellout? Well, for accepting less than your own perceived worth, yes you are. Is this business and does it work for both parties? Yeah.
I guess you don't value yourself that highly then.
I'm a MHFA again.
I'm a twit
I've got four hours of online courses to do before the end of the week: Unconscious Bias, Modern Slavery, DSE, Mental Health Awareness. One down, three to go and I'm on the verge of throwing in the towel but we've been told we won't qualify for maximum bonus if we don't complete on time. Blackmail.
Is that yearly or monthly?
I'm a MHFA again.
I get £8 a month to be a (non-mental) first aider at our office. The only time something happened (just a fainting) I was working from home.
LOL now the CEO of the part of Group that I'm in is leaving. Been told there's no investment coming and we can't increase our head count. This is dumb.
Overtime confirmed for next month. It's never going to end.
Double bubble?
I only bother with weekends so it's double or time and a half.
That’s back pay cos they hadn’t been paying me since I changed roles. It’s £8 a month and involves literally nothing.Is that yearly or monthly?
I get £8 a month to be a (non-mental) first aider at our office. The only time something happened (just a fainting) I was working from home.
I'm a twit
I'm a MHFA again.You guys are getting paid?!Is that yearly or monthly?
I get £8 a month to be a (non-mental) first aider at our office. The only time something happened (just a fainting) I was working from home.
I know. I'm angry about it too. I want £8 a month to go with the giant book.
All fun and games until something happens. A security guard at my old work had a heart attack and I (along with others) had to give him CPR until the Ambulance turned up.Is that yearly or monthly?
I get £8 a month to be a (non-mental) first aider at our office. The only time something happened (just a fainting) I was working from home.
He survived and it's a good feeling knowing you have saved someone's life, but I let my first aid qualification expire after that and I'll never renew it. The noises he was making, the colour he went, the intense pressure... for £8. No. Never again.
Aside from that the only other things I ever had to deal with was a peanut allergy flaring up (called an ambulance), sickness and diarrhea (no, I'm not going in the women's toilet to deal with that, send her home ffs) and a 60+ year old with stomachache (I'm not a Dr, what do you want from me, go home).
Now, being a Fire Warden. That was a cushy ride.
Last edited by Spikey M; 25-06-2023 at 08:03 AM.
Are people actually signing up to that shit for the money? I assumed it was just some token fee.
Two lads in my team had fire warden forced on them and there’s since been two fire drills were afterwards an email went round saying how terrible the drills went and if it had been a real fire, there would have likely been serious harm done. Nobody seems to have rumbled that they went out of their way to slow things down and do things wrong, in attempt to have the extra responsibility (for no financial benefit) removed.
I'm a twit
We have first aid stuff and mental health stuff (which is likely unpaid) a bit like my “Carbon champion” sort of thing.
However we also have “emergency response” which they attempted to force onto all of us. It’s a rota system where if shit hits the fan (on just about anything) you get called in and have to deal with it. It’s I think about £100/week when you’re on rota but that could be basically whenever ie even over the festive.
I’ve always pushed it back - unless it’s I’m my contact I’m not interested in that.
One of the guys I work with was on call when a helicopter went down over a decade ago killing everyone. I think he’s still haunted by it. No thank you.
Pretty easy response no?
We were recently told about the accessibility checker in Word. It seems largely pointless so I assume it's for the 'Comic Sans in Pink' wankers but I now see we also have an inclusivity checker too (again, pointless if you're already using your brain). Brav, just give me ChatGPT incorporated Word already, you gimps.
Got my first proper interview for a job ever in half an hour. (Been at the council since turning 16 so basically 10 years and don’t count interviews there)
Gonna be interesting. Over teams rather than IRL which is annoying.
Stream it so we can give you tips in-play.
Just found it.
I always wondered what happened to Amigo.
Went well on my end. Job is not really what I thought it was though and the 2nd interviewer taking notes was annoying as fuck
Just had a massive domestic between the Arab and the Russian. One told the other to fuck off for unknown reasons, it then spiralled into an orgy of swearing and gesticulation. Home and away legs in each other's office, five minutes apart. The Russian won 3-2 on aggregate. Absolutely top spectator sport, unfortunately one of the bouts was during a phone call with a customer so I had to advise them that I'd only be able to deal with their enquiry when the shouting and raving calmed down a bit.
They have their own offices?
The sales office is broadly open plan but there are 4 partition 'offices' set into the wall on one side, which go to the manager, the Russian, the Indian and the Arab. I have the best desk in the open plan bit, and the chaff have to make do with the shit positions.
I'm in the office today. There's a man in fitting blinds and he's very bad at it. Clearly not getting any work done today while I watch him swear at window fittings.
I'm a twit
The Arab's now sent a teams message round having a whinge, including a line which will surely go down in history: 'Sometimes I feel like a bunch bag around here'.
Turns out my pay bump is almost twice than what I was expecting.
There’s an “Asian” woman (I think her family is from Bangladesh but she was born in London) at work who has some absolutely shocking stories about her upbringing and is an absolute warrior. I’m not sure if it’s that, or that she’s actually really physically attractive, or the fact that’s she’s just proper sound (probably a combination of them all) but I fancy her.
She was randomly in the office today and I told her I’m in every Thursday. Well so I am from now on she decided there and then.
Still got it.
When we had a works “award ceremony” we walked to a pub after it and she was drinking gin like it was ice cold clean water and she was back in the Bangladeshi slums. Actually I think that’s the main reason I like her.
I'm a twit
I put all of my pay into pension in April and may on purpose. Then shoved it back to normal on early June.
Paid today and it’s the same as April and may. It’s becoming increasingly more likely I’ve inadvertently set my salary to go to pension this year.
If I'm understanding that right how minted are you that you can just casually chuck all your salary into pension instead of getting it and not even notice?
I noticed it was happening, I did it on purpose (for the first two months of the tax year). I just assumed I could swap it back for the rest…. But that didn’t seem to work.
Going to phone them next week and find out if I’ve fucked it.
In more important news my work often has azeri expats in the office, and for the second time there is a ridiculously attractive lady in my wider team. Are Azeri women the most beautiful in the world or am I just getting a false representation?
Oh I thought you meant you'd accidentally been doing it for a while (before you then did it on purpose) but hadn't noticed.
Ha nah. A few years ago a senior lady indicated exactly that had happened, and I was like “how the hell does that happen?”.
Easier than it looks.
I just spoke to a Rosemary West.
Going with "Rosemary" is a good try, but really you need to be getting married ASAP. Or divorced, I guess, if you did this to yourself. Jesus. That must be a tough life.
Any time they are referenced now I get "sharp dressed man" stuck in my head ffs.
My wife's uncle was their lodger for a time. Based on the reports, he definitely had a go on old Rose whilst Fred manned the peep hole.
Said Fred was a real nice fella
Your Family Tree is mental. In the right hands it could solve every cold case going.
That's nothing mate, my dad introduced me to Wayne Larkins (paging @Jimmy Floyd), when they were both delivering for Littlewoods in the same depot. He was putting catalogues in the back of his transit and seemed grumpy, but you would be I suppose.My wife's uncle was their lodger for a time. Based on the reports, he definitely had a go on old Rose whilst Fred manned the peep hole.
Said Fred was a real nice fella
My dad once washed Jimmy Saville's car. Sir Jim'll went off to get some ice cream for the lads but my dad sodded off. A great decision in retrospect.
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