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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #8201
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Yeah fuck that I'd be gone.

  2. #8202

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    I was meant to be interviewing someone at 10am for a job. He didn't join the Teams call so I rang him and he's basically fobbed me off saying he's got another job. Yeah nice one mate, but you could have told us.

    SvN was right, fuck this shit.

  3. #8203
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I'd have no sympathy for any company in that respect. 99% of them wouldn't let you know if you hadn't got a job, you're just supposed to guess.

  4. #8204
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Anybody who wins the lottery then keeps on doing their job if it's not some actual dream job scenario needs stripped of the money then put it back in the pot.

  5. #8205

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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    I'd have no sympathy for any company in that respect. 99% of them wouldn't let you know if you hadn't got a job, you're just supposed to guess.
    It's not the company that needs sympathy, it's me. I had to sit and look at myself on a Teams call for ten minutes. The guy confirmed yesterday he'd be available at 10am.

  6. #8206
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    Anybody who wins the lottery then keeps on doing their job if it's not some actual dream job scenario needs stripped of the money then put it back in the pot.
    Exactly this. I mean, I would probably do some form of work if the money was just enough to sustain my life, rather than turning me into a billionaire, purely because I would get bored. But we're talking a part-time job stacking shelves or something.

  7. #8207
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I would probably have good intentions of working my notice if my manager wanted me to but if I had millions in the bank it'd be sorely tested the first time anybody have me shit for anything to not just shut the laptop and be done forever.

  8. #8208
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    If it was lottery win money I would quit immediately by hosing them all down with champagne.

  9. #8209

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    I'd put it all in BazBot and carry on like nothing happened.

    But seriously, I'd keep working short-term. The project I'm on now finishes in about 2025 and I've had a big hand in building it from the ground up (well, down, technically) and I'm actually quite proud of it so I'm not sure I could fuck off out of the blue. Three more years is nothing, the money will still be waiting for me.

  10. #8210
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Not when a giant pipe squashes you in 2024.

  11. #8211
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    I would quit immediately.

    Also lol at the 'I'd get bored' people.

  12. #8212
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    I would quit immediately.

    Also lol at the 'I'd get bored' people.
    The "I'd get bored" only applies to the stipulation that the money was enough to retire on but nothing else. It would essentially make you one of the people that sit around on Benefits. And considering the amount of unnecessary drama they get involved with I can only assume they are very, very bored.

  13. #8213
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    You always need the next challenge, don't you? I'd buy a golf course, or something.

  14. #8214
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ben View Post
    There's a fun hypothetical: would you quit your job immediately if you won the lottery (as in enough to comfortably live on)? I'm not sure I would.
    The sensible thing to do would be to work one's notice rather than start spending immediately to let the whole thing sink in, but I expect the reality would be that you'd be out of the door as soon something came up I didn't want to do.

  15. #8215
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    The "I'd get bored" only applies to the stipulation that the money was enough to retire on but nothing else. It would essentially make you one of the people that sit around on Benefits. And considering the amount of unnecessary drama they get involved with I can only assume they are very, very bored.
    If it was enough money to keep a yearly income similar to my current one, I'd be laughing my way through life. I get bored in my job. I have plenty of stuff to keep me entertained outside of it. If we're just talking about some sort of minimum wage then fuck that.

  16. #8216
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    The Arab sent me a Teams message this morning. "I know one big secret from the company yesterday, but I will tell you on Whatsapp in case Teams is read by the bosses"

    Can't fault him for watertight security, so we moved over to our phones, whereupon he told me that the director of finance, a hapless Indian, has been SACKED. I was slightly surprised, as the last we saw of said hapless Indian was a couple of days ago when a message went out from the MD sending condolences on the death of his father. If the Arab is right, I reckon father dead and SACKED in the same week has to take the biscuit/biltong for heartless South African behaviour.

  17. #8217
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Maybe he was sacked for killing his father.

  18. #8218
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    The MD sent an email announcing the SACKing. He's now come down saying 'It's the South Africans, man. What could I do?'

    Violins everywhere.

  19. #8219
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    How did The Arab know?
    I'm a twit

  20. #8220
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    I got my offer for a cyber security company. A £14,000 increase in basic and a much, much better comp plan.

    Can't quit yet, have to wait until me expenses are paid as I know if I hand in my notice they wouldn't pay.

  21. #8221
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    It's amazing how one 20-minute meeting can be the difference between aimlessness with zero motivation, to knowing exactly what you need to do.
    I'm a twit

  22. #8222
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    How did The Arab know?
    His brother does the IT, so he gets to hear early of any hirings/firings when IT change the accounts over / set up new computers.

  23. #8223
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jimmy floyd View Post
    his brother does the it, so he gets to hear early of any hirings/firings when it change the accounts over / set up new computers.
    IT-K.

    Dots.

  24. #8224
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    The Arab is a tier one source.

  25. #8225
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    HERE WE GO!! OFFICIAL, JIMMY HAS BEEN SACKED AND HAS TO GO BACK TO THE KOREANS!

    Deal is subject to satisfactory medical and confirmation he is happy to eat dogs. Terms agreed on a 2 year deal.

  26. #8226
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Ornstein already confirmed that. You're a fraud.

  27. #8227
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    People really are retards, aren't they?

    Had a reasonable interview yesterday with a guy for our junior developer role. He has fuck all experience other than a 16 week coding bootcamp, but he came across well, and seemed enthusiastic enough and his work actually doesn't look too bad for a beginner. So I emailed him today with a small coding competency test. His reply was to ask what the salary range for the role was - despite it being on the job advert he applied on, and still present on our website.

    He's now decided that the range is too low for him to consider because he has a mortgage to pay for. Maybe you should've considered that before you decided to switch careers and apply for junior roles at the age of 36 you fucking moron?

  28. #8228
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Heads have gone.

  29. #8229
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Bump him up, Bazbot is running wild you can afford it.

  30. #8230
    I used to be funny.
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    Nah, you'd set a dangerous precedent. Plus he sounds like a bottlejob.

  31. #8231
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    We've had a right lol episode today. The Indian had his bike nicked the other day, and saw it come up for sale on Facebook marketplace. Barney took up his case for him, and messaged the person who was selling it to say he was interested and arrange a meet at 11am. A date was arranged around the back of TK Maxx in Hounslow. The Indian started ringing round his hardman mates from the Indian community to join him on the mission to get it back. None of them were available at such short notice (or perhaps because they felt the mission foolhardy), so a crack two-man team of the Russian and the Arab volunteered to join him on the hunt (the Arab seemed particularly keen to spill some criminal blood, despite my warnings about the consequences for his temporary visa).

    I sat there utterly bemused, not only that it was suddenly OK to leave in the middle of the working day to perform this vigilante rescue on a bicycle, but also about the logistics. I asked them what they were planning to do with the bike once they had (somehow) stolen it back - ride it away? The Indian said he hadn't thought about that part yet.

    Barney stayed behind at HQ to monitor Facebook, which proved an important role, as no sooner had the hit squad departed in their shiny black Mercedes than the 'seller' got cold feet and cancelled the appointment, claiming the bike had now been sold. Minutes later, the ad had been taken down. Undeterred, the trio headed to Hounslow, got out and found three nearby policemen who they asked to come with them on the rescue. The bobbies sucked their teeth and said well, actually, we'll need a crime reference. The Indian gave them the crime reference. The bobbies called someone and said that the case had been closed, and that the Indian would need to ring 101 to get the case re-opened. The Russian, quite reasonably, said listen, you lot are literally police officers, can you not just come with us and you might find a whole load of stolen bikes and/or a trail to other criminal activity. The bobbies said no, sorry, we're community police, you need to get the case re-opened first.

    Tails between legs, the trio came back to the office saying oh well, at least we tried. That was until just now, when the Indian found that the bike had been stuck back up on Facebook at a higher price. He's just shut the door and started ringing round his mates again...

  32. #8232
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    The police element of that story is genuinely insane.

  33. #8233
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    I got my offer for a cyber security company. A £14,000 increase in basic and a much, much better comp plan.

    Can't quit yet, have to wait until me expenses are paid as I know if I hand in my notice they wouldn't pay.
    Haha, the new sales director stepped in and wanted to meet me first. Had another lengthy interview and they've lowballed me and reduced the offer.

    By 5k

    EDIT: Context is the new sales director hadn't started when I went for my first interview, was only in the job a week when I had my second with the sales manager and he made the verbal offer.

  34. #8234
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Sounds like you made a good impression

  35. #8235
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Is that even a thing? I mean, if it was a horrendous impression surely it's offer rescinded not fucking lowballed?

    I'm trying to keep perspective here on the basis I get out of this nightmare, it is a salary increase regardless, but it's not exactly a huge vote of confidence is it. Then again, did the sales manager have any right to make me a verbal offer in the first place?

  36. #8236
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Stand your ground. He's chancing it. That 5k will probably go into his bonus.

  37. #8237
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Weren't you on a million a week before this anyway?

  38. #8238
    I used to be funny.
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    Most of that million was on commission, I think.

  39. #8239
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Stand your ground. He's chancing it. That 5k will probably go into his bonus.
    I said I'd accept the original offer, but it's not giving me the greatest of vibes.

  40. #8240
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    You seem to have rotten luck with jobs.
    I'm a twit

  41. #8241
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    It's sales, I think.

  42. #8242
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    They put some 'executive leadership' poster up at work, with all the bigwigs on it, so I bought some googly eyes and glued them onto everybody.

  43. #8243
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    Calm down, igor.

  44. #8244
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Hey this happened.

  45. #8245
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    I got two other offers:

    £50k basic and £30k OTE
    £65k basic and annual revenue bonus

    Can't wait to quit this pile of shit.

    EDIT: The first company said I could get the extra £2k after my 3 month probation...

  46. #8246
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    The latter seems a far better deal?

  47. #8247
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    What car do you get?
    I'm a twit

  48. #8248
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Can't be arsed with people pretending to know stuff. Some of you may recall an interaction I shared with a "Rachel" trying to delegate tasks to me that aren't in my job description.

    Well a group of us were involved in creating a massive document for national publication. Some bright spark decided to just copy the 2018 version and "update" it. I provided my part (which pharmacies deliver which services) and they come back to me asking which ones have a certain accreditation. I've never heard of this accreditation and Google was throwing up nothing. I was previously unaware of this accreditation, I don't think any of our pharmacies have it. Job done, get rid.

    Lo and behold it was left in, claiming all 31 of our pharamcies have this accreditation. No.

    Now big trouble has ensued.

    I’ve had a quick look, only as far as the introduction and conclusions and the HWB are leaving themselves wide open to legal challenge. Some of what I have read is completely inaccurate or misrepresentative.
    Top job everyone. And this is just one example in a long list of people pretending they know what they're taking about being put in charge of stuff they've absolutely zero knowledge of. Extra annoying cos in this case, the people in question are agency staff getting paid 4 times what the people who could do a far better job are getting paid.

    Thankfully I'm off for 2 weeks after tomorrow so can't be roped into cleaning it up.
    I'm a twit

  49. #8249
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I think being petty might be my main hobby these days. It's probably going to end up blowing up in my face at some point, but I can't help it. It's the drama Mick, I just love it.

    Last week of school term my daughter had a "showcase" at school, it was only an hour long, but baking in the commute and queuing I needed an hour and a half. My manager wasn't in, so I had to ask the head of department if I could start half hour early and have an hour and a half lunch. Such a thing has never been a problem.

    Her response: "you will need to keep to normal hours going forward. Please book annual leave." OK, looks like we're not being flexible anymore.

    Guess who wants me to set off at 7:30am to cover a court hearing on Monday? Sorry boss, I am under strict instructions to stick to normal hours. No can do.

  50. #8250

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    The recruitment manager has booked me two interviews for today: 3pm and 4pm. On a Friday. In this weather.

    Seething doesn't cover it.

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