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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #7101
    I used to be funny.
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    Human trafficking in action.

  2. #7102
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Get on it @Don.

  3. #7103
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    I have a friend that flat out refuses to let his son win at anything. He says that it builds character because nobody let's you win in the real world.

    I countered that he may be taking Hungry Hippo's a little too seriously and that a childhood full of failure may have some negative impact on self esteem, but nah. Apparently not.
    My dad had to stop letting me win things when I was about 8 cus I could tell he was and had a few hissy fits demanding he try to win. I then consistently and genuinely started winning (chess and pool) from about 10, but that's less a character building thing, more a case of him being a drunken spacker incapable of convincing an eight year old he wasn't letting him win or beating a ten year old at chess and pool.

  4. #7104
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    At least he was a drunken spacker who spent time with his son.

  5. #7105
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Email this morning from the 79 year old guy I'm (maybe) waiting to replace in lat am, to the 20 something year old technician:

    Thank you Daisy,

    What a lovely lass you are.

    John
    Any danger of them pensioning off the old fool or do we just carry on with these cretins in the workplace forever?

  6. #7106
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    In your place? I think you know the answer to that question.

  7. #7107
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Has Succession taught you nothing, Jim?

  8. #7108
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    TBF our Logan did get offed, by a combination of Marcia and a springbok Stewie with an elephant rifle on his shoulder.

  9. #7109
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    School closed because on wind tomorrow chuck some Oak National lessons online and put my feet up. Wife's school currently still open so could mean her and eldest out of the house tomorrow as well.

  10. #7110
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Schools closing for wind has to be a new low [the wife mentioned the possibility of it earlier and I thought she was joking].

  11. #7111
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    Schools closing for wind has to be a new low [the wife mentioned the possibility of it earlier and I thought she was joking].
    When it’s easily the most destructive and dangerous type of weather, and the only one with absolutely zero means of safeguarding against, then I don’t see how it’s a low.

  12. #7112
    I used to be funny.
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    100 mph winds versus tiny children. I'm Johnny Knoxville. Welcome to Jackass.

  13. #7113
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    Schools closing for wind has to be a new low [the wife mentioned the possibility of it earlier and I thought she was joking].
    The South of the country hasn't seen winds like this for decades in fairness. It's not going to be as bad as 1987, but it's close enough for concern to be fair. Especially as 1987 atleast had the decency to turn up at night while everyone was in bed.

    Trees are going to come down, dickhead lorries will be blown over and debris is going to be flying about all over the place. If people crack on as normal there is going to be injuries and potentially deaths.



    Annoyingly I have no choice as I have a Court Hearing in Basildon. Rip.

  14. #7114
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Annoyingly I have no choice as I have a Court Hearing in Basildon. Rip.
    At least you croak doing something you love...

    I can occasionally hear the planes coming in/out of Schipol Airport and there were a few yesterday having a fun time coming through it

  15. #7115
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    Most schools can tolerate around 10% loss in staffing before the site becomes unsafe. Lot of our staff live in red zone i.e. do not travel, few more with young kids whose schools have themselves closed and it quickly racks up.

    Also a lot of places had half term last week, mine is next week which is even better.

  16. #7116
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Perhaps I am underestimating the SEVERITY of Eunice. We have a red warning as well it would seem so I'll let you know how many children survive the walk to school tomorrow morning.

  17. #7117
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    I've just moved my balcony plants inside, if I'm not woken up by a Tesla through my bedroom window I'm gonna be seething.

  18. #7118
    I used to be funny.
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    Taz using his powers of foresight to ensure he lives a long life.

  19. #7119
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I take it there’s been a delay? We were meant to be going all wizard of oz at 4am.

  20. #7120
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    An emails gone out saying to avoid travelling if you’re not an essential frontline worker.
    I'm a twit

  21. #7121
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    An emails gone out saying to avoid travelling if you’re not an essential frontline worker.
    It's not even meant to be bad up there is it?

  22. #7122
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    The roads were completely empty this morning. Utterly laughable.

  23. #7123
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    The roads were completely empty this morning. Utterly laughable.
    I'm half hoping the Court bottles all hearings, but I'll have to go if they don't.

  24. #7124

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    Our weather station at work is saying currently 20mph with 35mph gusts. Child's play compared to the other night. Although pressure is dropping like a stone at the moment and I don't think that's usually good news.

  25. #7125
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    All this official arse covering is such a load of shite.

    MAROON WARNING IN NORTH KENT

    MAUVE ALERT IN THE LONDON BOROUGH OF SUTTON

    Fuck off.

  26. #7126
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    There's barely even a breeze here at the minute.

  27. #7127
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    There's barely even a breeze here at the minute.
    Not meant to be is there? It's windy here, but nothing mental. The warning doesn't kick in until 10am though.

  28. #7128
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    All this official arse covering is such a load of shite.

    MAROON WARNING IN NORTH KENT

    MAUVE ALERT IN THE LONDON BOROUGH OF SUTTON

    Fuck off.
    It's Yellow, Amber and Red, Jimmy. I remember it as its a bit like a traffic light.

  29. #7129
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Not meant to be is there? It's windy here, but nothing mental. The warning doesn't kick in until 10am though.
    There's a yellow warning in place from 7am to 6pm.

  30. #7130

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    Look at what's in the Severn estuary now. End of days for you soft twats if that blows east.

  31. #7131
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Just shut up and get squating lad.

  32. #7132
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Just shut up and get squating lad.
    My fucking weights aren't arriving until Monday.

  33. #7133
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    I am leaving a well paid job I'm comfortable and well respected in that was just starting to take off to move to a smaller company selling something I know nothing about.

    ENFP.

  34. #7134
    I used to be funny.
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    It's just one win after another for you.

  35. #7135
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    It's just one win after another for you.
    It is in my eyes. A lot of people would see it as mad though, correct.

  36. #7136
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    What are you selling?

    I haven't done any work since Wednesday morning. Head's gone.

  37. #7137
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    My paternity leave ends today. Actual work begins next week. The positive is the boss is having a week off.

  38. #7138
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Manc View Post
    What are you selling?

    I haven't done any work since Wednesday morning. Head's gone.
    I went from direct selling comms for an ISP, to a wholesale comms supplier indirect selling comms to providers, now to an IT company direct selling managed services, security etc.

    75k, to 55-60k, to hopefully 120k (if it goes well, and I will make sure it does).

    I could have quite happily spent the next 10 years doing the indirect stuff, really enjoy it and have a great relationship with all my customers (only 30) but there's just not enough going on to satisfy me. As it's wholesale and volume based there's only so much money you can make.

  39. #7139
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Sounds good Magic. Smash it and get paid
    I'm a twit

  40. #7140
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    The MD just ran in. "A tree's come down on the vans next door!" It has, too, a big one. "I didn't know it was going to be this bad, or I'd have closed the company!" I mean, I told you yesterday it was going to be this bad, and you said 'Nah, that's Sunday, I saw the forecast'. But never mind, eh.

  41. #7141
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Is there any circumstance, any at all, where he would actually close the company? If an actual zombie apocalypse broke out I imagine he'd be talking up the importance of supporting agriculture to keep the food supply going and demand everybody do double shifts to flog as many tractor engines as possible.

  42. #7142
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    We went home an hour early one day during the 'Beast from the East', but that was when the snow was piling up at the actual door. He'd never plan ahead or anticipate anything, because he doesn't think about anything other than the nuts and bolts of the business, ever.

    In the zombie apocalypse scenario, he'd keep the company open until the zombies had actually broken into the warehouse, then he'd say 'I didn't know there was a zombie apocalypse on' because he'd have not turned the TV on for a month beforehand.

  43. #7143
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    I went from direct selling comms for an ISP, to a wholesale comms supplier indirect selling comms to providers, now to an IT company direct selling managed services, security etc.

    75k, to 55-60k, to hopefully 120k (if it goes well, and I will make sure it does).

    I could have quite happily spent the next 10 years doing the indirect stuff, really enjoy it and have a great relationship with all my customers (only 30) but there's just not enough going on to satisfy me. As it's wholesale and volume based there's only so much money you can make.
    Weren't you supposed to become a millionaire a few years ago when you were switched to working on commission?

  44. #7144
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    'I didn't know there was a zombie apocalypse on'

  45. #7145
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    Weren't you supposed to become a millionaire a few years ago when you were switched to working on commission?
    I said I'd double my wage (I think). I'll be quadrupling it if I do well in this job so that's fair enough.

  46. #7146
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    When do you start? Good luck with the new job.

  47. #7147
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    End of March. Offered to do my existing place an extra couple of weeks to help them out. Totally forgot commission is the month after so all the deals I help bring in March will go to the next person.

  48. #7148
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Magic has been on seventy-odd grand 'plugging phones in' all this time whilst people (not me) tee-heed at his life? He's donned you all.

  49. #7149
    I used to be funny.
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    Depends how much he's kicking back to the ex-wife.

  50. #7150
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    Even if it's half his earnings, he's making as much or more than most of you, no?

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