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Thread: News of the day

  1. #14751
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Taz could pass as one.

  2. #14752
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    As if you'd get a suit which could accommodate his nose.

  3. #14753
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    These 2 of all people

  4. #14754
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-66255727

    Absolutely mental. It's not quite that bad where I work, although it's certainly heading that way for anyone wanting one of the Dagenham or Barking properties.

    It's the result of yet more inexplicable decision making (well, inexplicable if we're to believe the government actually care about solving this). Why are we so anti-building-shit?

    "We need the population to start growing again"
    [I]We'll need more houses then"
    "...No. Our countryside must be protected. Also, we must grow our economy"
    OK, so we need more infrastructure and homes
    "We've built 10 miles of HS2 track, what more do you want?"
    Hospitals, homes, schools...
    "No."

    Recently they have kind of backed down and agreed that more homes can be built in pre-existing cities (no new infrastructure though, obviously) and they want to turn Cambridge into our Silicon Valley. Finger on the pulse shit, that. We're only 3 decades behind. But if you want a new estate in Nimby-on-Thames, then good fucking luck.
    Last edited by Spikey M; 01-08-2023 at 06:06 AM.

  5. #14755
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    On that theme, in Twickenham someone's put a stairwell up for sale for £20,000: https://www.zoopla.co.uk/for-sale/details/64988715/

    I'm struggling to work out what the 'development potential' is there.

  6. #14756
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Is that a fire escape or the main entrance into the building?

    Either way a fair levy to be had off the remaining residents for use of it.

  7. #14757
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    It's disused apparently. Could you make back £20k by putting advertising on it? If so I'm piling in.

  8. #14758

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    Leasehold as well.

    London is such a racket.

  9. #14759
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ben View Post
    Leasehold as well.

    London is such a racket.
    1000 year lease on a peppercorn rent though, so not really.

  10. #14760
    Senior Member Gray Fox's Avatar
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    An on-site Starbucks too. What more do you want?

  11. #14761
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    You turn that into a cute compartmentalised modern living quarter and you're set. The BBC article mentioned work spaces or vertical farm ().

  12. #14762
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I suppose you could house two giraffes and sell their milk.

  13. #14763
    I used to be funny.
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    £25k houseboats? Hmmmm....

  14. #14764
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Geezer 'has a plan' [which sounds mad] so he should probably try to turn it into some sort of IRL version of that dojo you had to fight through the levels of on FF7.

  15. #14765
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    https://www.theguardian.com/music/20...former-dancers

    Lol. Fat people and bad personalities really do go hand-in-hand. Is the grease blocking neural signals that lead to a positive, well-rounded human being or do they project the self-loathing that led them to their state? I suspect the latter.

  16. #14766
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    On that theme, in Twickenham someone's put a stairwell up for sale for £20,000: https://www.zoopla.co.uk/for-sale/details/64988715/

    I'm struggling to work out what the 'development potential' is there.
    https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-london-66369705

    Sold for £25k.

  17. #14767
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    I don't know anything about the bloke, but he sounds like a culture-war version of a bloke wearing half and half kit.



    Team Woke or Team Gammon. Does he care or does he not give a fuck? Pick a side mate.
    Pretty much. He was a guest on the (hilarious) cumtown, which is exactly the bolded bit, but I don't mind it from Nick Mullen cus he's hilarious.

  18. #14768
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Does the disused stairwell come with the land underneath it? Because that might make a decent punt if they ever come to re-develop the current flats and nothing can go ahead without him agreeing to it.

  19. #14769
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I think someone said it's a 999 year leasehold.

  20. #14770
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-englan...shire-66307905

    I'd like to think they both go away forever.

  21. #14771
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    The mum has somehow avoided a murder charge. She fed the baby it's own puke, so I'm going to assume she was almost certainly involved in the beatings too.

    Oh well, we'll have to settle for some good ol' fashioned jailhouse shanking instead.

  22. #14772
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    The fact that I am inevitably going to have to deal with a case like that at some point is...I don't even know how to put it into words.

    Fucking ghouls. I've seen the cases where a sleep-deprived parent at the end of their tether snaps and is immediately sickened by what they've done; whilst it's awful, you can at least get your head around it. This kind of case is just so far beyond my comprehension.

  23. #14773
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-66387994



    Pretty sure that I, as a 42 year old lazy shit, could run the 100m in sub 20s.

    Although, given much of the story, it's probably not right to laugh.

  24. #14774
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    When I worked forbthe MOJ I had the pleasure of speaking to a couple of baby / child killers after they got out. The overwhelming takeaway from it is that it was always someone else's fault and they're misunderstood. Bless their hearts.

    I also had the mum of this cunt on the phone after her sons court fine paperwork turned up.

    Apparently he's been through enough without having to pay a fine when he comes out. I just said "Sorry, I can't discuss it unless he's there to give consent " and lolled to myself after she hung up in a huff.

  25. #14775
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-66387994



    Pretty sure that I, as a 42 year old lazy shit, could run the 100m in sub 20s.

    Although, given much of the story, it's probably not right to laugh.
    Not as good as Eric the Eel though:



    "Before coming to the Olympics, Moussambani had never seen a 50-metre-long (160 feet) Olympic-size swimming pool. He took up swimming eight months before the Olympics and had practiced in a lake, and later a 12-metre swimming pool in a hotel in Malabo"

    Eric

  26. #14776
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Here's the Somali sprinter:



    Genuinely like what sports day was like for me when I had to run the 100m.

  27. #14777
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Even the kids who usually had a note to get them out of PE could do the 100m in under 20 second, wtf.

  28. #14778
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I read something recently about how a college in the US had to field a women's golf team at a particular event in order not to lose all its funding for everything, but didn't have any women golfers, so fielded a couple of random women who had never played before. Went round in about 300 each and got on the beers.

    Somali athlete will probably end up being something like that.

  29. #14779
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Yeah, I did think it might be like the Belgian [?] shot putter who did the hurdles to get team points for coming last quite recently.

    Maybe she was a So Solid Crew fan.

  30. #14780
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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  31. #14781
    I used to be funny.
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    I like the article about them wearing funny salmon hats.

  32. #14782
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry View Post
    Not as good as Eric the Eel though:



    "Before coming to the Olympics, Moussambani had never seen a 50-metre-long (160 feet) Olympic-size swimming pool. He took up swimming eight months before the Olympics and had practiced in a lake, and later a 12-metre swimming pool in a hotel in Malabo"

    Eric
    Basically me at the scout swimming gala as a kid when someone on our team dropped out of the breast stroke race so I decided to do it 'to not let the side down'. Except instead of praise I was mocked by a scout leader

  33. #14783
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-englan...shire-66243058

    Police absolutely toothless as per usual.

  34. #14784
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    They don't close long-established ones with hourly marketing, leave ol' Katerina and her girlfriends alone ffs.

  35. #14785
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Wilko aka Wilkinson's on the verge of administration, no surprise.

  36. #14786
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Whenever this sort of thing happens I always think of Mark Corrigan securing a job with Bathrooms, Baths & Fittings and immediately declaring 'I reckon the high street's going to make a comeback'.

  37. #14787
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    We went in Wilko's for the first time in years last week and I said then "I'm surprised they're still going". Pointless shop, full of shite.

  38. #14788
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    The most obvious explanation is that they've just been done in by B&M and Home Bargains, who sell the exact same stuff but aren't being mugged off paying high street business and rental rates.

  39. #14789
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    I am assured by my wife who works in haulage that Wilkos are turbo cunts so good riddance. Apparently they pull some bullshit where they have a really finnicky delivery system no-one else uses and if any element of it is wrong they try to fine hauliers hundreds of quid.

  40. #14790
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    The most obvious explanation is that they've just been done in by B&M and Home Bargains, who sell the exact same stuff but aren't being mugged off paying high street business and rental rates.
    Not really. B&M and Home Bargains are essentially just the middle aisle of Lidl/Aldi on steroids with a bit of Pound Shop thrown in.

    Wilkinsons is basically just Woolworths, minus the CD's.

    Speaking of dead shops and CD's. HMV is on borrowed time aswell (again). I went in one on my lunch break this week and it's an absolute state. "Plushies", Comics, endless DVD's and 12 varieties of Stranger Things t-shirts on sale. Fuck off.

  41. #14791
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    There are physical media saddos like me to give them business but I suspect they might go online only soon.

  42. #14792
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    If I were HMV I'd have sold all the town centre stuff ages back and bought small ones on cheaper plots to use as mock-ups of old fashioned record stores. Could have cornered the neckbeard/boomer pound sterling. Mugs.

  43. #14793
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    B&M is the only place round here that always has Caramacs in (Iceland and Farmfoods are hit 'n' miss) so I'm a steady customer. They sell everything.

  44. #14794
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Transform a Snack too

  45. #14795
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    The thing I hate more than I should actually let it get to me is that this shop used to be called Wilkinsons. Round here, NOBODY called it that. Literally every single person called it Wilkies. Everyone knew Wilkies. It was a starting point for giving directions. It was reference point for taxi rides. It was a meeting point for a night out. It was Wilkies. And then they went and changed their name to Wilko? I’m sorry, what? Wilko? It’s Wilkies, mate.
    I'm a twit

  46. #14796
    I used to be funny.
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    Probably the worst thing about Gateshead town centre. And the statue.


  47. #14797

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    Despite having lived about 10 minutes up the road from Gateshead for about five years, this is the first I'm hearing of them having an actual high street. I thought you all just went over the river.

  48. #14798
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    What in the 1990's Sonic The Hedgehog Baddy is that statue?

  49. #14799
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-66319064

    Get your Health Insurance policies ready, lads.

  50. #14800
    I used to be funny.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    What in the 1990's Sonic The Hedgehog Baddy is that statue?
    https://www.gateshead.gov.uk/article/4545/Sports-Day

    I've never liked it.

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