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Thread: What shall your weekend bring?

  1. #2251
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    I would like to clarify that I am a man who has a beard, rather than a "beard man". The whole pseudo-subculture, beard-as-personality thing is tedious and I refuse to be tarred with the same brush, you cunts. On balance I'd rather have the occasional spacker beard-bro give me a high five saying "nice beard man!", than look like a 14 year old.

    I can't make any excuses for the rest of my personality, though.

  2. #2252
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    That's what they all tell themselves. Give us your top ten Ron Swanson quotes you epic cunt.

  3. #2253
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Maybe I should double-down and just embrace being a cunt.

    I'll get one of those t-shirts you see advertised (not you specifically) on facebook with ultra specific things on the back like "I AM A BEARD GUY FROM WARWICKSHIRE I WAS BORN IN DECEMBER I LIKE MY INDIE MUSIC TWEE AND MY WOMEN TO HAVE CRIPPLINGLY LOW SELF-ESTEEM AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE THAT I'LL DO FUCK ALL BECAUSE I'M A COWARD", with a few eagles and american flags thrown in.

  4. #2254
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    'Respect the Beard'.

  5. #2255
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    Slogan tees are the fucking worst. I saw one the other day with 'Death Before Decaf' on it. There's no quicker or more effective way to out yourself as a tit.

  6. #2256
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    I sometimes get given them and just use them as pyjamas.

  7. #2257
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    I just got given a belter (and I normally only ever wear plain T-shirts) which is the peppa pig logo only the text says death grips. he ordered it from America though so it’s frickin’ MASSIV.
    I'm a twit

  8. #2258
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Never trust a man with no facial hair.

  9. #2259
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Bull shit. Every good disguise includes facial hair. Bunch of fucking frauds.

  10. #2260
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    It's those cleanly shaven mother fuckers I don't trust.

  11. #2261
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    avin a tinny in the front room as my mum watches a work training video on her laptop about invoicing orders. why the fuck am i getting a train to stupid london, this is the life

  12. #2262
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    also, thoughts on train beers, lads? i feel like it doesn't make me look (more like) a deviant on the 7pm to Euston on a Saturday in clothes obviously picked for getting my boogie on, right??

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    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    If you're worrying what the people on the train will think of your outfit then you definitely need the beers.

  14. #2264
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    oh no i've no worries about my threads daddio, just wondering if it's socially acceptable to be necking a can of lager on the train. i was just hoping the fact i'm wearing clothes obviously picked for a night out was something of an extra mitigating factor.

  15. #2265
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    At worst you'll look like a tramp who jumped the gates.

  16. #2266
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    You’ll look a right scummy cunt.

    So why not have a couple of cans to take the edge off?

  17. #2267
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    The very first tinder date I went on, after three years of involuntary celibacy, I got so nervous I necked a whole four pack of Stella on the train on an empty stomach in my dishevelled work clothes. It went as well as you can probably guess.

  18. #2268
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    I just got given a belter (and I normally only ever wear plain T-shirts) which is the peppa pig logo only the text says death grips. he ordered it from America though so it’s frickin’ MASSIV.
    Ive put it on a 90 degree wash and intensive dry cycle.

    This reminds me though, what’s happened to @Offshore Toon?
    I'm a twit

  19. #2269
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I think we just had a minor earthquake - or ghostquake - up here.

  20. #2270
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    It was probably just Rio Ferdinands tantrum because he could have done better than the Tyson fight.

  21. #2271
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Didn't realise my seats today were so close to the front and never brought suncream for my head. Burnt to absolute bits.


  22. #2272
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Sunburn

  23. #2273
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    I had a month of borderline problematic chemical usage, and was quite looking forward to the vanilla evening i had planned - hanging out with a little gang of fairly dorky old school friends, have a few drinks, then call it a night. I even, very optimistically, booked an advance train ticket for 11.50 from euston this morning. Told the anecdote of my irresponsible behaviour the previous weekend involving excess coke usage, and one of the ladies in our gang surreptitiously messaged me saying "fancy getting some tonight". Just two pints in spoons + my train tinny was already enough to break my resistance, and I immediately left the pub to phone my London man, and within half an hour i was waiting by a sketchy block of flats before getting into a car with 3 scary latino blokes to pick up.

    Was meant to go back to house of girl who lives 20 mins from euston, ended up in fucking CROYDON doing lines with my mate and her boyfriend until about 9am. I just got home after the most fucking ghastly overground-overground-tube-train journey that took about 3 hours, and haven't been to sleep since 7am yesterday.

    What a fucking spacker. Maybe me and phonics need a joint TTH intervention.
    Last edited by igor_balis; 10-06-2018 at 05:03 PM.

  24. #2274
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Get fucked, we need the drama. Too many Norms these days.

  25. #2275
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel View Post
    Sunburn
    Fuck it I'm in a beer garden now topping it off

  26. #2276
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    Was it GAA you were watching? I watched about ten minutes of it last night and it seems to be a complete mess of a sport. The goals are almost pointless because the aim appears to be get within about 50-60 yards of the goal in some space and smash it high trough the posts. It'd be like awarding Tony pulls the rule book to football.

    Seems really popular though. Do they basically force it on you in school?

  27. #2277
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Foe View Post
    Was it GAA you were watching? I watched about ten minutes of it last night and it seems to be a complete mess of a sport. The goals are almost pointless because the aim appears to be get within about 50-60 yards of the goal in some space and smash it high trough the posts. It'd be like awarding Tony pulls the rule book to football.

    Seems really popular though. Do they basically force it on you in school?
    It's barely played in schools. You were also watching Tyrone which is akin to watching Pulis x10. The game today was even worse.
    It's not supposed to be like soccer anyway though.


    .
    Last edited by Giggles; 10-06-2018 at 06:22 PM.

  28. #2278
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    I've been off it for a while, but I think it's highly unlikely I'll be able to make it through a month of world cup related day drinking without succumbing to the urge to get the coke in.

  29. #2279
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by igor_balis View Post
    I had a month of borderline problematic chemical usage, and was quite looking forward to the vanilla evening i had planned - hanging out with a little gang of fairly dorky old school friends, have a few drinks, then call it a night. I even, very optimistically, booked an advance train ticket for 11.50 from euston this morning. Told the anecdote of my irresponsible behaviour the previous weekend involving excess coke usage, and one of the ladies in our gang surreptitiously messaged me saying "fancy getting some tonight". Just two pints in spoons + my train tinny was already enough to break my resistance, and I immediately left the pub to phone my London man, and within half an hour i was waiting by a sketchy block of flats before getting into a car with 3 scary latino blokes to pick up.

    Was meant to go back to house of girl who lives 20 mins from euston, ended up in fucking CROYDON doing lines with my mate and her boyfriend until about 9am. I just got home after the most fucking ghastly overground-overground-tube-train journey that took about 3 hours, and haven't been to sleep since 7am yesterday.

    What a fucking spacker. Maybe me and phonics need a joint TTH intervention.
    Eeeegor

  30. #2280
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    What we really need is a good old rivalry. Someone petty enough to follow the other from thread to thread kicking off. Sadly you all killed Harold and Henry’s stuck in the first stage of grief.

  31. #2281
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    Surely I'll get offended by something soon, don't worry Spikey-san.

  32. #2282
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by igor_balis View Post
    I had a month of borderline problematic chemical usage, and was quite looking forward to the vanilla evening i had planned - hanging out with a little gang of fairly dorky old school friends, have a few drinks, then call it a night. I even, very optimistically, booked an advance train ticket for 11.50 from euston this morning. Told the anecdote of my irresponsible behaviour the previous weekend involving excess coke usage, and one of the ladies in our gang surreptitiously messaged me saying "fancy getting some tonight". Just two pints in spoons + my train tinny was already enough to break my resistance, and I immediately left the pub to phone my London man, and within half an hour i was waiting by a sketchy block of flats before getting into a car with 3 scary latino blokes to pick up.

    Was meant to go back to house of girl who lives 20 mins from euston, ended up in fucking CROYDON doing lines with my mate and her boyfriend until about 9am. I just got home after the most fucking ghastly overground-overground-tube-train journey that took about 3 hours, and haven't been to sleep since 7am yesterday.

    What a fucking spacker. Maybe me and phonics need a joint TTH intervention.
    Get this meet sorted out ASAP.

  33. #2283
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    So Friday the supporters group i joined for Orlando City is throwing this benefit event... gonna be a "Masquerade Ball"... I've ordered this mask:



    I was at Burlington (kinda like a TJ(TK?) Maxx but bigger and a little better variety of stuff) and saw this pink suit jacket made by Tommy Hilfiger so I've decided to basically go full Miami Vice:



    I've got white dress shoes too lol Gonna be ridiculous. I'll try and post pics.

  34. #2284
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Fucking hell.

  35. #2285
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    Exactly.

  36. #2286
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Cool mask, for what it is.
    I'm a twit

  37. #2287
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    I'm surprised people still do coke. I would have thought coke and drugs would have evolved and there would be some new type of wave that people would use to get them where they want to go.

  38. #2288
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I’ve read that 3 times and still have no idea what that means.

  39. #2289
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    A literal wave that transports people.

  40. #2290
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Drugs are sick, why would you ever get rid of them

  41. #2291
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Cocaine is still very popular. Why hasn't it been replaced with some new super drug? Its decades old now isn't it?

  42. #2292
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel View Post
    Cocaine is still very popular. Why hasn't it been replaced with some new super drug? Its decades old now isn't it?
    What?

  43. #2293
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel View Post
    Cocaine is still very popular. Why hasn't it been replaced with some new super drug? Its decades old now isn't it?
    Because there are still many many mongs about.

  44. #2294
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Sincere do you think that all cocaine in existence was created 30 years ago and it's been slowly going bad over the years?

  45. #2295
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel View Post
    Cocaine is still very popular. Why hasn't it been replaced with some new super drug? Its decades old now isn't it?
    I mean... I... what?

  46. #2296
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I'd say he means it's been around decades.

  47. #2297
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Yeah, still what?’

  48. #2298
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    I give up

  49. #2299
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    If someone comes up with some super cocaine I'm sure it'll take off, for now it's a perfectly enjoyable substance

  50. #2300
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mokbull View Post
    If someone comes up with some super cocaine I'm sure it'll take off, for now it's a perfectly enjoyable substance
    I've heard crack is quite moreish.

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