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Thread: The little things in life that fuck you off

  1. #5751
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel View Post
    Yeah, but I don't like sitting on the cold seat plus I just feel better knowing I'm not in direct contact with it. I'm really cautios with hygiene
    .
    I’m assuming the toilet paper is kept next to the toilet? Yeah, that’s covered in the same bacteria that the toilet seat is, and it hasn’t been treated with bleach.

  2. #5752
    mischamischaracterisation Dquincy's Avatar
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    Have I ever told you about the time I got caught with diahorea in a female netball changing room with nothing but a parish magazine? That was not a high point in my life.

  3. #5753
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Being woken up at half eight on a SATURDAY with one of those giant saws cutting through concrete.

    If you lot think that's an acceptable time/date I hope you get fucking sodomised.

  4. #5754
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I’d say 9am, but it’s half an hours difference you slobbering mess.

  5. #5755
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    So i'm in a group chat with other people that I go to Orlando City games with and naturally there's a couple other Man United supporters in the group.

    At any rate, the other two will always use "Man U" and growing up, hell I think it was on an iteration of this forum when it was still the Dugout, I learned how "Man U" is basically a derogatory term for the club and about all the chants w/r/t the Munich crash etc. etc.

    I was talking about not being able to get to Miami for our cup match tonight and he said "Well Man U made their second signing of the summer if it makes you feel better"

    No no you've only made it worse but thanks for trying.

  6. #5756
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Man U has nothing to do with Munich.

  7. #5757
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    The chants about Munich though I thought?

  8. #5758
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Why is Man U an insult? It’s short for United, surely, you fucking mega tarts.

  9. #5759
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Who the the fuck told you that Bruh?

  10. #5760
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    I thought it was bullshit but there's something there:

    https://www.google.com/search?client....0.0qm74jtkBI4

    Apparently it's because of songs from Leeds and Liverpool just after the Munich disaster.

  11. #5761
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Where I’m from “Man U” is basically what pretend football fans call them, and actual football fans just call them United.
    I'm a twit

  12. #5762
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    The Munich stuff is new to me, but I always took 'Man U' (and 'Man Yoo') to be a reference to how all the 'plastics' and Asians would refer to the club they claim to support, thereby serving - like 'Chelski', or 'Le(?) Arsenal' - as a way of criticising the club and its successful identity whilst being better than your own.

    EDIT: What Baz said.

  13. #5763
    mischamischaracterisation Dquincy's Avatar
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    Amazing.

  14. #5764
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Americans and football.

  15. #5765
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    In Fifa 18 you can choose the commentary language, and 'Mexican Spanish' is an option. When you select it, you get two South America cunts as commentators.

  16. #5766
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry View Post
    I thought it was bullshit but there's something there:

    https://www.google.com/search?client....0.0qm74jtkBI4

    Apparently it's because of songs from Leeds and Liverpool just after the Munich disaster.
    What a load of bollocks. If they sang ‘United’ in those songs would that become derogatory? The U isn’t part of the insult. U fUcking mega tarts.

  17. #5767
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    What a load of bollocks. If they sang ‘United’ in those songs would that become derogatory? The U isn’t part of the insult. U fUcking mega tarts.
    Oh it's completely batshit.

  18. #5768
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    In Fifa 18 you can choose the commentary language, and 'Mexican Spanish' is an option. When you select it, you get two South America cunts as commentators.
    Who do you want, Lil Yeezy and Big Papa from tha bloc?

  19. #5769
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Any two Mexicans would do.

  20. #5770
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Or at least get one of the decent S. American ones. Kempes is complete shit.

  21. #5771
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    ‘C’mon lil pea maneee, you gotta to be shooting from der maneee’

  22. #5772
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    'Just let me take a lil snooze, ese'.

  23. #5773
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    I love that the idea of Mexicans that you have is Mexican-Americans. Yet another thing the US has ruined.

  24. #5774
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    There is nothing, NOTHING, America hasn’t ruined. The whole of Central and Northern-South America is a war zone to feed Hollywood’s Coke habit.

  25. #5775
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    I love that the idea of Mexicans that you have is Mexican-Americans. Yet another thing the US has ruined.
    Says the prick who shunned the family landscaping business.

    Six generations deeply shamed by you.

  26. #5776
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    There is nothing, NOTHING, America hasn’t ruined. The whole of Central and Northern-South America is a war zone to feed Hollywood’s Coke habit.
    Half of Africa, the Middle East and South Asia will be permanent genocidal killing fields thanks to a bunch of tarty Brits thinking the Crown was the coolest thing out there

  27. #5777
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    You British plundered half the world for your own profit, let's not pass it off as the age of enlightenment.

  28. #5778
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mokbull View Post
    Half of Africa, the Middle East and South Asia will be permanent genocidal killing fields thanks to a bunch of tarty Brits thinking the Crown was the coolest thing out there
    Africa? What about Asia and the Middle East. Credit us where it’s due. Sheesh, what us with it where due. What is it with plastic yanks?

    Quote Originally Posted by bruhnaldo View Post
    You British plundered half the world for your own profit, let's not pass it off as the age of enlightenment.
    Better.

    Although you win for being cunts both historically and presently. We lost our way.
    Last edited by Spikey M; 06-06-2018 at 07:36 PM.

  29. #5779
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Aren't the bits of Africa we pissed about in probably the least fucked up bits (relatively speaking here)?

  30. #5780
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    Who the the fuck told you that Bruh?
    You people did! I was like 12 or 13 when I first started posting on the dugout. I used to say "Man U" and it was all oh you fuckin plastic blah blah blah so from that point on I was like welp I better not call them that.

    Then to be completely and totally honest about this entire bit, I didn't really remember why, and then when I 'did-a-google' that's what came up. I just assumed that was what (whoever posted on that version of this website at the time) must have told me back then lololol

  31. #5781
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Although you win for being cunts both historically and presently. We lost our way.
    So much winning I'm getting sick of winning

  32. #5782
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Africa? What about Asia and the Middle East. Credit us where it’s due. Sheesh, what us with it where due. What is it with plastic yanks?
    Huh?

  33. #5783
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mokbull View Post
    Half of Africa, the Middle East and South Asia will be permanent genocidal killing fields thanks to a bunch of tarty Brits thinking the Crown was the coolest thing out there
    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    Aren't the bits of Africa we pissed about in probably the least fucked up bits (relatively speaking here)?
    Yeah, the French and Belgians fucked them up best. Although @Jimmy will be able to give a full history of the continent in 500 words or more.

  34. #5784
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    Aren't the bits of Africa we pissed about in probably the least fucked up bits (relatively speaking here)?
    Yep. As an African, getting the British was a bit of a lottery win as we largely just extracted 'taxes' and stayed out of it. If you got the French you were unlucky (off to the pastry parlour with you), and if you got the Belgians, well.

    Everyone always cites the Mau Mau stuff as an example of how terrible we are/were, but that's nothing compared to literally anything that happened in the Belgian Congo between 1890 and 1970.

  35. #5785
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    Aren't the bits of Africa we pissed about in probably the least fucked up bits (relatively speaking here)?
    Kenya is your claim to fame. But the French equally have Cameroon which is a cool place so it’s a tie

  36. #5786
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    Yep. As an African, getting the British was a bit of a lottery win as we largely just extracted 'taxes' and stayed out of it. If you got the French you were unlucky (off to the pastry parlour with you), and if you got the Belgians, well.


    The spirit of Winston Churchill lives on in every entitled British royalist

  37. #5787
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mokbull View Post


    The spirit of Winston Churchill lives on in every entitled British royalist
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_o...PP)_per_capita

    Just look at that Belgo-froggie disaster pile up down the bottom. The Yanks making a nice guest appearance too.

  38. #5788
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Equatorial Guinea being at the top of that list for finding some oil in their waters and having a population of 30 is the biggest lol and also a reflection of the joke that is GDP per capita. They were #1 in the world for a couple years too

  39. #5789
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mokbull View Post


    The spirit of Winston Churchill lives on in every entitled British royalist
    The spirit of Rudolf Beran lives on in every Chamberlain hating Czech pretending to be American.

  40. #5790
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    There a lot of those?

  41. #5791
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    The Yanks making a nice guest appearance too.
    idk if you mean Liberia but holy shit I'm learning so much about this place now since they've only gone and stole our flag.

  42. #5792
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mokbull View Post
    Equatorial Guinea being at the top of that list for finding some oil in their waters and having a population of 30 is the biggest lol and also a reflection of the joke that is GDP per capita. They were #1 in the world for a couple years too
    You're right, this is probably a better list: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Democracy_Index

    Botswana chilling in the top 30 just above France.

  43. #5793
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    Hold on, Spain, who held elections to split their country in half and then arrested everyone involved (or something like that I don't know the details you guys know that) have a higher democracy index than the Good Ol USA? I fuckin refuse.

  44. #5794
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bruhnaldo View Post
    Hold on, Spain, who held elections to split their country in half and then arrested everyone involved (or something like that I don't know the details you guys know that) have a higher democracy index than the Good Ol USA? I fuckin refuse.
    Barcelona pretty much did what half of Texas want to do. How do you think Texas voting to become its own country, without having the referendum agreed before hand, would go down?

  45. #5795
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    Texas is like the Caitlyn Jenner of states. They'd like to think they'd be better off without us but they know if they got the snip-snip they wouldn't get any real pleasure and the headaches would then outweigh the positives.

  46. #5796
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mokbull View Post
    Half of Africa, the Middle East and South Asia will be permanent genocidal killing fields thanks to a bunch of tarty Brits thinking the Crown was the coolest thing out there
    That we got it down to half is monumental.

  47. #5797
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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  48. #5798
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    That we got it down to half is monumental.
    Lewis, the White Mum's Burden

  49. #5799
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Wahey. Seriously though.

  50. #5800
    Senior Member Spoonsky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mokbull View Post
    Lewis, the White Mum's Burden
    That's good.

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