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View Poll Results: How much women's football are you FORCED to watch?

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13. You may not vote on this poll
  • 24/7 on a loop. They won't let me sleep or see my family.

    0 0%
  • I've watched most of it.

    0 0%
  • I've watched some of it.

    3 23.08%
  • I watch if I happen to notice it's on.

    4 30.77%
  • None. Turns out it IS optional.

    5 38.46%
  • Turtle. But like, a Turtle that you're being MADE to read about.

    1 7.69%
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Thread: RAMMING August football DOWN YOUR THROAT

  1. #351
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Warrington have played 3, won 2, lost 1 in their first foray into the National League North.

    So…



    Mark January in your calendar, @Ian. If Warrington are still doing well, I’ll not only be going to watch them at the end of the month, I’ll be absolutely balls deep in my Warrington save on FM24 (no addons required), and I’ll be constantly referencing my 50/1 ‘Warrington to win the league’ bet.
    I'm a twit

  2. #352
    Senior Member Adramelch's Avatar
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    Marseille with the good old "penalty specialist goalkeeper" last minute substitution. Let's see if that one ends up working.

    Edit: It didn't.
    Last edited by Adramelch; 15-08-2023 at 10:21 PM.

  3. #353
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    They are one of the most useless clubs in Europe relative to the emotional energy expended on them.

  4. #354
    Senior Member Gray Fox's Avatar
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    I'd love to see some stats on the penalty keeper sub. The most literal comical example is obviously Kepa. Gets nowhere near any saves and balloons his own penalty into the crowd.

    If the Marseille SPECIALIST is that good, I'd love to see how bad the normal keeper is.

  5. #355
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    It's one of those things that is a no-brainer for a data analyst - Bill is 30% better at saving penalties so obviously you send him on for Bob - but is scuppered by the complex workings of the human psyche.

  6. #356
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    It probably works but luddites' confirmation bias has them posting about it every fucking time it doesn't which given a penalty conversion rate of 90%+ is very common.

  7. #357
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    If 85% of penalties go in (think it's about that), that means 15% don't go in of which probably two-thirds are saved. So the average goalkeeper will save probably 10% of penalties they face. In a five-kick shootout, therefore, your average keeper will save 0.5 penalties. Your top penalty-saving keeper is probably doing twice as well as that (Fabianski on 10/41 saved is top in PL terms). So he'll save 1 penalty in five.

    So if all things are equal you would give yourself an advantage of 0.5 penalties by sending on a top specialist from the bench to replace someone bang average. By sending on someone who's only slightly better than the man on the pitch that'll be down to 0.1 or 0.2... I'm not convinced. I'd rather use my sub on a quality penalty taker.

  8. #358
    Senior Member Bernanke's Avatar
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    Was it a World Cup or EC game where the Dutch brought one on to win a knock-out game?

    Edit: Ah yeah, Krul in the 2014 WC.

  9. #359
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    If 85% of penalties go in (think it's about that), that means 15% don't go in of which probably two-thirds are saved. So the average goalkeeper will save probably 10% of penalties they face. In a five-kick shootout, therefore, your average keeper will save 0.5 penalties. Your top penalty-saving keeper is probably doing twice as well as that (Fabianski on 10/41 saved is top in PL terms). So he'll save 1 penalty in five.

    So if all things are equal you would give yourself an advantage of 0.5 penalties by sending on a top specialist from the bench to replace someone bang average. By sending on someone who's only slightly better than the man on the pitch that'll be down to 0.1 or 0.2... I'm not convinced. I'd rather use my sub on a quality penalty taker.
    Bringing a penalty taker on is far, far worse and an act of supreme cowardice by a manager.

    Goalkeepers aren't expected to save many, so even if you are sent on as the penalty specialist keeper and save none, nobody really gets at you. You also get 4 or 5 chances to save one.

    The pressure on someone who's been sent on to take a penalty is enormous, because you're expected to score anyway and you're definitely expected to score if you've been sent on just to take one. Expecting someone to get in the headspace to shoulder the burden of a vital penalty when they haven't been involved in the game is ridiculous. Any manager who does it is basically feeding the player to the wolves to try to save their own neck.

  10. #360
    Senior Member Max Power's Avatar
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    Is sending the second keeper on a data thing? I assumed it was a “try and freak out the opposition” move, nothing sophisticated. Martin O’Neill did it in a okay off final nearly 30 years ago don’t think he was aware of the metrics.

  11. #361
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Yeah, classic icing the kicker madness.

    Problem is more those takers being sent on are never specialists, but as per Jimmy's keeper theory only marginally better, which human frailty overwhelms. If you were bringing on Matt Le Tissier or someone like that then it'd make more sense, but those sorts of players are never on the bench, mooks like Sancho are picked ahead of them.

    Looking ahead, even though Milner has gone Liverpool should have some pretty decent penalty shoot out options this year, if they make it into any.
    Last edited by niko_cee; 16-08-2023 at 10:06 AM.

  12. #362
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Maybe in a World Cup knockout game that's the case, but in a generic or theoretical shootout I don't think so. There surely has to be a greater variance between a shit and good penalty taker than there is between a shit and good penalty saver.

    And what niko said as well. If you're bringing on just-above-average takers who aren't actual specialists, it should be for the 8th / 9th kicks to replace people who are hopeless.

  13. #363
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Generic shoot outs don't really exist though, in the sense that if they are sufficiently mundane then there is less pressure and every professional footballer should have no problem scoring.

  14. #364
    Senior Member wullie's Avatar
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    Bringing Jamie Carragher on in the last minute of extra time in 2006 just to have him miss always stood out to me. Did he ever score penalties for Liverpool?

  15. #365
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    This colour commentator for the gashes is worse than the standard of play.

  16. #366
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wullie View Post
    Bringing Jamie Carragher on in the last minute of extra time in 2006 just to have him miss always stood out to me. Did he ever score penalties for Liverpool?
    Yeah. Extra gutting as I think he'd taken quite a few for Liverpool in shootouts (I may have imagined this, I know he'd never taken one in a match as such) and looked surprisingly good. I was convinced he'd score.

    Edit - scored in the Champions league final, and completely forgot he was made to retake that one against Portugal having scored it once. Talk about being on a hiding to nothing.
    Last edited by niko_cee; 16-08-2023 at 10:41 AM.

  17. #367
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    What a finish that was.

  18. #368
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    Edit - scored in the Champions league final, and completely forgot he was made to retake that one against Portugal having scored it once. Talk about being on a hiding to nothing.
    Did he? Not according to Wiki.

  19. #369
    Senior Member Gray Fox's Avatar
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    Gerrard, Smicer, Alonso and Kuyt the only goal scorers in finals he played in.

    As for the pens it was Hamann, Smicer and Cisse.

  20. #370
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Samalu Kerrkaku.

  21. #371
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Aww look mate.

  22. #372
    Senior Member Gray Fox's Avatar
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    Good luck booing Sweet Caroline you cunts.

  23. #373
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Maybe I am biased but I can't help but feel the commentary is very hyperbolic for the Lionesses. They won, fair enough but it is always 'they were laser focused, perfect' etc. When really they coughed up a lot and Australia squandered a lot of chances. The score doesn't lie but to hear the analysis you'd think the Matildas never made it past the half way line, so cowed were they by the imperious England women.

  24. #374
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    It's almost like home team commentators have an inherent bias towards their team.

  25. #375
    heavy like led Dark Soldier's Avatar
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    There is an almost childish view of women's football and its really fucking patronising in the coverage. Brave, heroic, gave it their all.

    No, a lot of the time they got beat because they were fucking shit.

  26. #376
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    I think it stems from this unwavering pursuit of having the Women's game exist in the same space as the Men's, so the Men's continual failure is somehow used as the baseline and achieving well above that (as the Women have) is treated in the same way as if the Men were suddenly doing it. Presumably the actual reality is that in terms of infrastructure and participation the Women's game in England is miles ahead of most of the rest of the World (like the England Men's game was in the late 19th century to the 2nd World War), but unlike the Men back then the Women are actually bothering to go to these tournaments and are winning them as a result.

  27. #377
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    It's the same for the mens, the only difference is you're all 15 stellas down and don't care.

  28. #378
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    I definitely don't think if England men drew 0-0 against Nigeria and had a late sending off for a daft foul before winning on penalties the commentary would be as positive as it was for the women.

  29. #379
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    Quote Originally Posted by Don View Post
    It's the same for the mens, the only difference is you're all 15 stellas down and don't care.
    Yeah, that's what I'm saying, the gushing nonsense that poured out of the commentator's mouth when we beat Denmark, at home no less to reach the final of the Euros was absolutely ridiculous, but brought about due to a) the commentator being a twat and b) all the shit we've been through to get to one. The Women haven't been through that, but because of this conflating of the two sports THE NARRATIVE is coming from a place where they have.

  30. #380
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    In short, it's our (the Men's failure) so just leave it with us and enjoy the fact that the Women's team is genuinely good and exhibits loads of characteristics we don't have that I wish we did.

  31. #381
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    And this, from the BBC's summary is a perfect example of it:

    Lionesses into final for first time & become first England football team to reach that stage since 1966
    No, no they don't. And if they win it, their achievement shouldn't be undermined by it being referenced to as the second England football team to win a World Cup.

  32. #382
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Since 1966 we have made three finals of the Amputee World Cup for starters.

  33. #383
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    Indeed. Given how absolutely fucked the Men's game is now anyway I'm not sure it's wise to position yourself within it long term. Sure there'll be some benefits now, but at some point those in charge are going to have to think about how to position it in its own right.

  34. #384
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    It's almost like home team commentators have an inherent bias towards their team.
    This is the 31st time you've started a sentence with "It's almost like" on this forum.

    48th if you include posts starting "Almost like..."

  35. #385
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Almost like it's a good format.

  36. #386
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    It seems to me like it was a bad decision to host the women's world cup in Austrlia and New Zealand at this time when it's therefore on at shitty times for the bits of the world that are probably most into it. A better timezone for more casual viewers would probably have helped solidify the game's status. Just had a look and 13 of the round of 16 teams are from Europe, Africa or the Americas.

    I'd probably have watched some of it if it was on in the evenings but as it is, it's completely passed me by.

  37. #387
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    Almost like it's a good format.
    It's even more almost like an irritating one.

  38. #388
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    Did he? Not according to Wiki.
    Duped by the echo.

    He definitely took and scored some in shoot outs, although I have no idea of the context.

  39. #389
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Saw a male receptionist watching football on his computer. I asked him if England were winning. They were, 2-1 at the time. The three women I was heading out to get dinner with all in unison said “winning at what?”
    I'm a twit

  40. #390
    heavy like led Dark Soldier's Avatar
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    Baz slamming it into three of em at once. Dirty bastard. You've come a long way since Garden Soccer mate.

  41. #391
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    Duped by the echo.

    He definitely took and scored some in shoot outs, although I have no idea of the context.
    League Cup against Birmingham, 2001?

  42. #392
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    That Man U statement about Greenwood is some proper cowardly shit. If you're going to do it, just do it, and own the probably world-ending consequences that will stain the organisation's name for decades.

  43. #393
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    The toxicity surrounding that dogshit bunch of favelas is going to be fantastic. As if they needed a reason to lose their heads already.

  44. #394
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Post something interesting at least once Taz.

    The greenwood statement is a joke. They want to keep him because he's good at football and don't care about anything else. Just own it you miserable cunts.

  45. #395
    Senior Member Gray Fox's Avatar
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    I'm very surprised he wasn't sought out for a Saudi move. Would have been the best thing for all parties involved.

  46. #396
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    He'd get a medal for it out there.

  47. #397
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kikó View Post
    Post something interesting at least once Taz.

    The greenwood statement is a joke. They want to keep him because he's good at football and don't care about anything else. Just own it you miserable cunts.
    The longer it went on beyond not sacking him that first weekend the more likely this outcome was. Every other sport has a few of these cases a year, and you don't get canned beyond a certain level of ability.

  48. #398
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Female Fans Against Greenwood's Return
    Definitely scope for some Lewis friendly tomfoolery here.

    Female Fans Against Greenwood Getting On The... erm.

  49. #399
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    It's going to be a total shitshow if he comes back. The club's name will be mud. I don't get how they can't see it.

  50. #400
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    He's innocent, how do you know it wasn't just kinky sex? They've moved on, you should to. He does what he wants etc etc

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