Yeah but the Jersy coke doesn't make your Mrs glass you in a pub.
Yeah but the Jersy coke doesn't make your Mrs glass you in a pub.
Fair.
I think there's a far higher base laziness index now then there was 20 years ago, but I can't put a full theory together lest I fall into the clutches of boomer thinking. I think there are a lot of people out there who literally never cook a proper meal. This one is peculiarly British too, or at least Anglo-Saxon - not the same in Europe at all.
Think it's the same reason that beards (me included) are popular, because people just can't be arsed to shave every day in the way they did in the 90s and 00s.
It definitely does.Originally Posted by Spikey M
In that case: new get rich quick scheme unlocked. The TTH Middlesbrough - Jersey smuggling chain will be the stuff of legend.
Not the worst idea we've had.
Barney, bless his little heart, has the new role of 'Sales Executive - UK and Ireland'. This will involve travelling to Ireland quite often to meet customers. He was getting some business cards printed up and showed me the proofs. On there it had his job as 'Sales Executive - UK and Eire'. Christ knows why.
I contended, largely based on distant TTH memories of being snarled at by Giggles, that he really shouldn't have 'Eire' on there, and should have 'Ireland' instead. This caused a massive panic with loads of people including a director coming on strong asking me to prove my assertion. I didn't really know why it was a bad idea, and was starting to doubt myself, so I told them to google it. They googled it and came up with loads of things like this:
I'm now sitting back lolling while about four people burst blood vessels trying to make calls and stop the printing run.The only conclusion to be drawn from the use of the description "Eire" by UK or unionist interests, except where it is used in ignorance, is that its use is intended as derisory or confrontational.
Why would it be seen as derisory or confrontational @Giggles?
It's the proper name of the country, right? Is it not the same as a French man making the effort to say "England" instead of "Angleterre" or whatever?
Last edited by Spikey M; 12-04-2023 at 03:46 PM.
Walked out of the office earlier and the lad ahead of me was intercepting a driver for his daily KFC delivery. I couldn't do that. Hell, the pandemic killed off my interest in popping over to Greggs.
The country is Éire in Irish, or Ireland in English.
Eire (no fada but that's fairly standard English loanword behaviour) is the name the UK used because they refused to recognise the name Ireland or Republic of Ireland for decades. They didn't habitually refer to other countries as Deutschland, Sverige, Rossiya etc.
British people using Eire is, at best, an unintentional parroting of that behaviour.
I'm a twit
Éire is in the constitution so it’s all good. Just the name of the country in Irish.
The Republic of Ireland is only for the soccer team, because of northy moaning, and the description of the state, but not the name.
I hope Eire was Barney's first big idea in his new role.
Hopefully Eire was in Gaelic font on the card.
My work has decided to take the mental step of giving all the managers a one off four figure extra payment in the next pay packet, but not the non-managers. The non-managers have just got wind of it
The higher up the tree you go, the bigger the bonuses. That’s just the way the world works.
I dread to think the size of some of the bonuses of leadership at my gaff this year.
That’s bullshit. I get mid four figures and I’m a peasant. Grass them up to the unions.My work has decided to take the mental step of giving all the managers a one off four figure extra payment in the next pay packet, but not the non-managers. The non-managers have just got wind of it
I have it on good authority that customs only stop BLMs so its definitely manageable.
Commuting into Euston and walking up the Euston Road past King's Cross and St Pancras twice a week, for some reason I just assumed I'd end up seeing famous people out and about. After four months I have finally recognised someone - food writer Jay Rayner. An anecdote so shit even Manc will believe it.
Not even joking: my sister and I have a long running private joke where we covertly take and send each other photos of people we see out and about that we think look like Jay Rayner (can't remember how it started but a bit like Jools Holland, we find him a comically absurd 21st century British cultural figure). We both dream of one day spotting the original so I am unbelievably jealous.
My mate was very unimpressed with my story. He lives in Stamford Hill, and says he sees big JR traipsing about all the time. I reckon he could just be confusing him with random curly haired Hasidic blokes. Maybe you should add him to your Jay spotting group chat.
I've seen 2 Celebrities in London ("in the wild", not at shows, gigs, clubs or football).
John Bercow, who needs to be added to @Lewis' Political Manlet spreadsheet. He was about 5' 5".
And the Asian geezer that set fire to Masood's house in Eastenders circa 2010.
So, you know, atleast I've found the heavy hitters.
That said, I met Frank Bruno, Jamie Oliver, Dennis Wise and Ray Parlour working for 2 years at a shitty Essex Theme Park as a teenager, so there's another reason London can fuck off.
Last edited by Spikey M; 13-04-2023 at 05:57 AM.
Living up in the barren wastelands, you won't be surprised to learn I've met virtually nobody famous, although I did manage to bump into Tom Hardy and his wife at the local beach one time.
No famous encounters for me, either. At best, a lass I used to work with recently appeared on SAS: Who Dares Wins.
I saw Suggs and Gandalf on separate occasions, both in Soho
I once stepped onto a tube train whilst on a stag do and was confronted by Greg Davies, Rhod Gilbert and Simon Bird [had to look him up]. I didn't really know who they were at the time but suffice to say they got off/moved carriages at the next stop.
Also saw Nathan Dyer [plus family] last time I was at Center Parcs.
Isn't there a thread for this?
I've played football with David May, Clayton Blackmore and Andy Ritchie in the past. Met Anthony Crolla at a United away game once (even have a pic). Continuing the boxing theme, I've seen Tyson Fury in Manchester city centre with his entourage and David Haye having a meal in Soho (no pics).
Michael Portillo, Paul Merson, John Romero, Adam Woodyatt (Ian Beale).
Scraping the barrel now lads.
Saw Badger from Breaking Bad at a pub in Cov, also met Ray Stubbs outside Wembley which is not exactly a chance encounter but you can't deny that star power.
I saw MC Harvey and Jermaine Jenas at a River Island in Stevenage.
That moment can't be topped.
Oh yeah I forgot we met Rikishi in Newcastle whilst we were in fancy dress as wrestlers for Wrestlemania Revenge.
I've met Stephen Fry. The PT we go to trains a load of the Norwich players so we met them at his Christmas party as well as Jake Humphrey.
Weirdly, the other day when everyone was slagging off Jake Humphrey in the football thread, I was sat almost opposite him in Wagamama after the Norwich game. I considered posting at the time but I thought it was a bit creepy to dox him and his kids in real time.
You should have done it whilst maintaining eye contact with him.
I've ran into loads of Finnish celebrities (I think it is likelier here), most notable being Sami Hyypiä and Jari Litmanen.
My favourite however was when I was on paternity leave and out having lunch with my son. I had to go back in to fetch a water jug for us and when I came back former Crystal Palace great Aki Riihilahti and a well known party leader who had been a minister in few governments where with my son protecting him and our starters from a menacing seagull.
Look, you all need to accept I preemptively won by living over the road from Rene Simoes in the Middle East before he later went on to manage Jamaica at the '98 World Cup.
Robbie Coltrane gave my auntie his old lawnmower when they lived opposite each other in London.
Last edited by randomlegend; 13-04-2023 at 07:26 PM.
Yer a gardener Sally.
Sorry.
My three celeb encounters were:
I got my haircut next to Chris Evans but I didn't know it was him till I left and my Dad mentioned it. He was fat as fuck at the time.
I was walking through the airport and several people were asking someone for a photo and I had no idea who it was. Realised 18 months later that it was Ruud Van Nistelrooy.
I was at the fair and this chick I was meeting said 'some guy who just got on the ferris wheel was so tall that people were asking for photos of him just because of how tall he was'. I asked to wait for the ride to end to see who it was. It was Yao Ming.
I once spent a glorious evening in London with Taz and Samadini.
Post has gone to advert for my assistant.
What a time to be alive.
I'm a twit
I was in an airport business lounge a couple of years ago and "Rak-Su" walked past me.
I only know it was them because a waitress walked past saying they were coming in now.
Drawing the thread swiftly back on topic from whoever Rak-Su is, I've come into the office deliberately today because I have 3 lots of court prep to do and nobody ever comes in on a Friday so I can be left alone and have free rein of the printer.
So, promptly at 9:00 someone I have never met before has come in and has plonked themselves down next to me. In an empty office. Right next to me. Ominous. So far I have heard about her Easter holidays, her kids favourite day out and what she's thinking of having for lunch. No amount of disinterested "mmm's" will make her stop.
At least you have company for lunch now.
I came up with what's going to be my legacy yesterday. A positive one too, before you start. Let's forever refer to it as Baz's Legacy.
As many achievements as I'll reach throughout my career, this will be the one with a lasting impact and will be forever remembered as my best contribution to my, and surrounding organisations. What an accomplishment it shall be.
I've already potentially revealed my cards a little bit too early in regards to my idea and potential execution, but only to two trusted personnel who will play a key role in establishing it as The Way We Do Things Around Here.
More to follow in the coming weeks, months, years and decades, I'm certain of that.
I'm a twit
I actually have a cracking anecdote about my lunch that I could share with her, because we ordered Domino's last night and the first pizza they delivered was wrong, but they let us keep it when delivering the correct one. See? Fascinating. She will never hear it.
There's also enough to share, but I'm going to eat it in the car now. That bitch is getting none of this - what I think is - Vegetable Supreme.
Ask her for a nosh in the bog at lunchtime, that'll move her on.Drawing the thread swiftly back on topic from whoever Rak-Su is, I've come into the office deliberately today because I have 3 lots of court prep to do and nobody ever comes in on a Friday so I can be left alone and have free rein of the printer.
So, promptly at 9:00 someone I have never met before has come in and has plonked themselves down next to me. In an empty office. Right next to me. Ominous. So far I have heard about her Easter holidays, her kids favourite day out and what she's thinking of having for lunch. No amount of disinterested "mmm's" will make her stop.
I once checked Timmy Mallet's ticket on a train.
I had an affair with an at the time England Women's B Team footballer. No fucking idea about the name anymore and probably the lowest form of celeb you can find. Ended in her leaving me a voicemail saying I had ruined her life by sending her nudes to her husband's phone. I didn't even know his number so lass spread that fanny like butter.
That tranny you shagged must hold a woman's world record in something by now?
Aye last I saw it was miles of cock shafted.
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