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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #851
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Of the US.

  2. #852
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Thanks, I'll see you there SvN.

  3. #853
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Thank you for applying for the role of 93512 - Postman/Postwoman with Driving - Newton Le Willows Delivery Office (WA12 9AA) .

    Unfortunately on this particular occasion your application has not been successful.

    I'm a twit

  4. #854
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    They were after a Transgender. Mike should give it a go.

  5. #855
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    They just assume that Sue Perkins had finally run out of work.

  6. #856
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Neither of those comments make any sense.
    I'm a twit

  7. #857
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Hurrrrrrrr

  8. #858
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    My seventy-five year old predecessor came in today to explain all the crap he had left me. Seems like a bit of a legend.

  9. #859
    I used to be funny.
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    Our IT lot in Malaysia just gave me access to a namesake's email inbox. He hasn't left or anything, they just didn't check to see if it was actually in use.

    Been a good week, lads.

  10. #860
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Reminds of when the wba forum I went on accidentally gave me access to the mod's subforum and I spent an hour reading them calling people cunts and stuff

  11. #861
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    I've been getting emails of meeting minutes from a hotel (health and safety team) in Cyprus for years now.

  12. #862
    I used to be funny.
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    You should probably inform them. Of their poor health and safety.

  13. #863
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by igor_balis View Post
    Reminds of when the wba forum I went on accidentally gave me access to the mod's subforum and I spent an hour reading them calling people cunts and stuff
    I was going to screenshot and post all the best stuff from the old Office when we moved to this place, but it died completely before I finished checking it all out to see what was worth bothering with.

    There was some quality stuff in there too. Henry and R-One did not like eachother.

  14. #864
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    It used to be absolutely class in there. Pure bitching at all times and I'm not ashamed to say I got involved occasionally. Didn't Mark fire Lewis after a while because he was off brand? I can't remember.

    I can't even remember what the points of contention were that caused all the in-fighting either. Defining racism was a favourite topic, but it wasn't the only thing.

  15. #865
    I used to be funny.
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    One of the things I never did as a mod was look in there. Really, really wish I did now.

  16. #866
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    It used to be absolutely class in there. Pure bitching at all times and I'm not ashamed to say I got involved occasionally. Didn't Mark fire Lewis after a while because he was off brand? I can't remember.

    I can't even remember what the points of contention were that caused all the in-fighting either. Defining racism was a favourite topic, but it wasn't the only thing.
    I think Lewis jumped before he was pushed, but it was down to him questioning Admin decisions 'in public'. Mark didn't like that.

    The best of the R-One vs Henry episodes was the former fucking around with people's profiles and the latter saying 'We must be adult at all times, we are the example.' I pissed myself laughing at that.

  17. #867
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Yeah, I was against the 'homophobia' warnings, but I could have kept on had I just not warned anybody. It was the public criticism (lol) wot did me in the end. The best threads were all the Harold (RIP) ones. For a while it was only me and Yevrah who were against permabanning him, so fuck knows how he avoided it really.

  18. #868
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Just had a customer scream at me down the phone (including calling me 'fucking useless') because his parts went to the wrong place - maybe 25% my error because I didn't double check, but 75% his because he didn't fucking tell me where he wanted them.

    Nerves properly shredded. Should I have to endure that over £35.92 of push rods? I don't know.

  19. #869
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    10 days offshore had potential to become 21 so I'm off today.

    Getting sent back on Tuesday or Thursday though

  20. #870
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Do they have tv’s and stuff? What does ‘going offshore’ actually mean in terms of day in and day out?

  21. #871
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    The training on this job is absolutely shit.

  22. #872
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Do they have tv’s and stuff? What does ‘going offshore’ actually mean in terms of day in and day out?
    It's like being in a hotel except you don't have your own room,
    Stay In a bunk and have unlimited free food. Each bunk has sky and a wee tv and there's areas with comfy chairs and massive tv or projector. Rec area has like arcade games and PS4s and that.

    Downside being it's 12 hour shifts, tiring as fuck and miles away from civilisation.

    It's not that bad as a short trip. Fuck doing 21 or 28 days though.

  23. #873
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Foe View Post
    It's like being in a hotel except you don't have your own room,
    Stay In a bunk and have unlimited free food. Each bunk has sky and a wee tv and there's areas with comfy chairs and massive tv or projector. Rec area has like arcade games and PS4s and that.

    Downside being it's 12 hour shifts, tiring as fuck and miles away from civilisation.

    It's not that bad as a short trip. Fuck doing 21 or 28 days though.
    Fuck sleeping on a bunk after some sweaty gibbon.

  24. #874
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Hi guys idk if I've mentioned but I graduated yesterday and I'm starting work next week as a doctor.

  25. #875
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    Hi guys idk if I've mentioned but I graduated yesterday and I'm starting work next week as a doctor.
    Engineer of humans.

  26. #876
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Fuck sleeping on a bunk after some sweaty gibbon.
    You stay in the same bunk each night and typically there isn't anyone else in there.

    Weird as fuck wandering around looking through grating into the North Sea though. Not something I could do long term.

  27. #877
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Had a call about a job today. I can’t even remember the job title but she described it as “lead generation from an extensive database.” When I said if she meant cold calling, ‘well yeah....... extensive database!’ Haha wtf. No thanks mate. Plus it’s 50 mins drive away and I’d only finish at 5:30, and would need to buy my own car.

    This [ludicrously shite] job of mine has spoiled me.
    I'm a twit

  28. #878
    I used to be funny.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig
    Our IT lot in Malaysia just gave me access to a namesake's email inbox. He hasn't left or anything, they just didn't check to see if it was actually in use.
    Well, the email saga just went up a notch. My old email address was closed overnight. My only way of contacting the namesake was to phone his mobile in his signature. Left a voicemail although I'd imagine he'd be well aware that, for the last three days, he's been unable to access his emails.

    In the off-chance we were sharing the inbox, I sent an email to myself for the other fella to look at. There's been no response. I've won. This email address is mine. They sent a survey out to ask how they did, too. Unfortunately, our firewall blocks it so I can't explain to them in detail how much of a fuck-up they've managed. Maybe they'll reverse it (moral good) but, chances are they'll just give the namesake a new inbox (chaotic good) because that's less work for them.

  29. #879
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    I have the same name as another doctor who works as a GP but is also a tutor for the medical school. I was sent various pretty sensitive documents on a number of occasions, including exam results for students in his tutor group and a certificate awarded to him for some training. Lol.

    EDIT: This one really wasn't me trying to jam "I'm a doctor lol" into every post...
    Last edited by randomlegend; 20-07-2018 at 07:48 PM.

  30. #880
    I used to be funny.
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    So far, all I've gotten is meeting minutes, an update on an ADSL line and a couple of invoices picked up by our spam filter.

  31. #881
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    I can’t remember exactly how it happened but I was once sent another persons Facebook login details. Assuming it wouldn’t work I tried it and it worked, logging me in as a girl from Birmingham. I checked her photos (not fit) and noticed all the recent ‘not allowed on timeline’ pics were her smoking at a party. I allowed them on her timeline and logged out. I presume I caused some lasting damage.
    I'm a twit

  32. #882
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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  33. #883
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    dots

  34. #884
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    Proper thundercunt behaviour, that. What a surprise.

  35. #885
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    No it was me who did it, not you.
    I'm a twit

  36. #886
    I used to be funny.
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    If I was ever friends with Baz, I'd seriously wonder what level of distance I'd need to avoid being caught by something like that.

  37. #887
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I'm on day six of a 9 day conference and I'm 99% of the way to quitting and leaving these fuckers to wallow in it. I've been called every name under the sun to my face by people who earn twice as much as me for concentrating on the job I'm paid to do rather than covering for their own fuckups.

    I'm coming home. Unless several people come to me once their stress levels drop and personally apologise I'm abandoning the quitting in 2020 plan and just get a job at a Premier League club doing wank social media videos announcing transfers.

  38. #888
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Got a job interview on Monday. Never really had one. Any tips?

    Pulling a sickie to attend.
    I'm a twit

  39. #889
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Offer them a blowjob/muffmunch.

  40. #890
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    My interview to get this job was weird as hell. The guy just talked about himself for an hour, promised me an answer by the end of the week (it was a Monday), and told me I was hired three hours later.

  41. #891
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Practice making towers with marshmallows and raw spaghetti.

  42. #892
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I need to do a few too so as to keep in practice. Awful going for one after years of not doing them.

  43. #893
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I will hopefully have some interviews soon as I've finally had enough where I am. I got home on whatever day it was and applied for a load of stuff. There's one in another department doing stuff not dissimilar to stuff I'm already doing and the money's ace but it would involve night shifts and I dunno how I'd get on with that.

  44. #894
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Did it for years and it has its advantages, but really nights is a young mans game.

  45. #895
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    First day of school holidays. Feels fucking great, even if did still get woken at 5.30 by toddler.

  46. #896
    Pretty Much Amazing Mike's Avatar
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    Finished work for the summer, 5 and a half weeks off!
    I’ve been split between a Y3 class and a reception class this year so have got a silly amount of presents. Most beer and chocolate too.

    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    Got a job interview on Monday. Never really had one. Any tips?

    Pulling a sickie to attend.
    Tuck your shirt in

  47. #897
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    Got a job interview on Monday. Never really had one. Any tips?

    Pulling a sickie to attend.
    I've been the interviewer loads of times now. Be there early, dress as smart as you can even if the end job doesn't require it, and if it's comptency-based come up with some decent stories.

  48. #898
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Put your feet on the desk and tell them you don't work Fridays.

  49. #899
    I used to be funny.
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    Get a damn haircut.

  50. #900
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Don’t be yourself.

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