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View Poll Results: Who will receive your vote?

Voters
44. You may not vote on this poll
  • Theresa May's Conservatives

    10 22.73%
  • Jeremy Corbyn's Labour

    23 52.27%
  • Tim Farron's Liberal Democrats

    3 6.82%
  • Paul Nuttall's UKIP

    0 0%
  • 2 people's Greens

    1 2.27%
  • Nicholas Durgeon's Scottish Nationalists

    1 2.27%
  • Satan's Sinn Fein

    0 0%
  • Dr Ian Paisley's DUP

    0 0%
  • Some other bunch of nonces

    2 4.55%
  • I'm foreign, but I wish I were an Englishman

    4 9.09%
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Thread: UK General Election 2017 - 8 June

  1. #8401
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Prince William has about as good a shaped head as you could want for baldness, and he can grow a solid beard, but he chooses to bowl around looking like he does. Maybe nobody has ever walked him through it properly.

  2. #8402
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I don't know who the best looking bald man really is, but it will be a black man. White people can't get close to them when it comes to rocking baldness.

  3. #8403
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Women like men in a different way to how men like men (I observe), which makes me think that the purest way for a straight man to understand women would be to look at what lesbians are looking for in a partner, something that is way outside my bounds of understanding.

  4. #8404
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    The constant threat of domestic violence.

  5. #8405
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    It's pointless trying to understand them Jim. Pointless.

    https://www.vanityfair.com/style/202...t-bald-man/amp
    That story is bollocks, paid for by a hair transplant company (Big Hair?): https://twitter.com/danbarker/status...806289411?s=20

  6. #8406
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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  7. #8407
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    The Starmer vids are decent. From what I can tell, he slips into a pub after being confronted by an Anti-Lockdown don only to then realise the geezer is the landlord

  8. #8408
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Like something out of The Thick of It

  9. #8409
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I properly lol'd at that yesterday.

    The landlord is a bellend, but Starmer doesn't come out of that looking too good by having his minder fight the mean shouty man so he could retreat.


  10. #8410
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Lolled at "bring David Cameron back I say"

  11. #8411
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    In the end he actually handled it quite well insofar as he spoke to him and told him he disagreed with him, but the Labour Party have made themselves look stupid trying to say the landlord was spouting the dreaded 'misinformation' (that awful doctor woman they have said he was a 'denier'). Bring John Prescott back I say(!).

  12. #8412
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Ironically if Starmer had just lamped laddo his poll ratings likely would have rocketed, so 2 Jags knew his audience.

  13. #8413
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Johnny Mercer trailing his resignation all day, like the shithead self-publicist he is, and then just getting sacked is seriously lol-worthy. Alright he's right in what he's moaning about, but what can you do.

  14. #8414
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Laurence Fox's London mayor campaign going well as he is currently polling at 1% along with Count Binface.

  15. #8415
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Brian Rose is the fascinating one among the minor candidates. I drove past his battle bus yesterday, and there are huge billboards of him (wearing a very wide tie) all over London. Why? You're on 2%, mate.

  16. #8416
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    Laurence Fox's London mayor campaign going well as he is currently polling at 1% along with Count Binface.
    £5m to be as popular as a man wearing a bin on his head.

  17. #8417
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    Brian Rose is the fascinating one among the minor candidates. I drove past his battle bus yesterday, and there are huge billboards of him (wearing a very wide tie) all over London. Why? You're on 2%, mate.
    a mate of mine:

  18. #8418
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Also, he's, like, American. Not just a bit American. Completely American.

  19. #8419
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    lol out loud at absolutely everyone who thought Lawrence Fox was a viable anything. He is clearly an idiot (in the actual sense of not knowing anything at all, rather than just being a social idiot like many politicians), and I can still see him renouncing it all as a mental health wobble within a couple of years when the reality hits him.

  20. #8420
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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  21. #8421
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Having just seen the polling I would vote Brian Rose for a laugh. Sadiq Khan has been a shit mayor by any objective measure (this is a job remember that Ken Livingstone and Boris Johnson managed not to fuck up for a full sixteen years), but Shaun Bailey is one of the most useless people in the country, so he must be lolling his head off. Non-alcoholic drinks round Babar Ahmad's gaff.

  22. #8422
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Why is Khan shit?

  23. #8423
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Old Sadiq is one of the rare cases where the dog whistlers are correct. Horrible little shit.

  24. #8424
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    The two main things that the Mayor of London actually has the power to influence are transport, which was pissing money even before the kung flu blew it to pieces, and crime, which... Short of just abolishing all of these wanky little ego positions I think there is a case for giving the mayor a lot more power just to see how big a fucking mess Labour could make of it, like how Los Angeles is deliberately run as a hellhole.

  25. #8425
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    @igor_balis you that mate winning the internet

  26. #8426
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I got a flyer through earlier from the "Scottish Family Party" which on the name alone got lolnoped into the bin.

    My friend sent me a related thing so I've looked up their polices and they sound a top bunch of lads.

  27. #8427
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    I got a flyer through earlier from the "Scottish Family Party" which on the name alone got lolnoped into the bin.

    My friend sent me a related thing so I've looked up their polices and they sound a top bunch of lads.

  28. #8428
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    How am I only just hearing about these people?

  29. #8429
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Pity about the lyrics really, as his bass runs are A+.

  30. #8430
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    I got a flyer through earlier from the "Scottish Family Party" which on the name alone got lolnoped into the bin.

    My friend sent me a related thing so I've looked up their polices and they sound a top bunch of lads.
    What in the name of Alabama is that doing over here?

  31. #8431
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I saw a brief clip of Question Time yesterday, and what are we doing allowing a Canadian to come here and co-lead a party trying to break the country up? She should be given a day to produce her Scottish passport or be deported.

  32. #8432
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    That is up there with the stupidest things any politician has ever said. 'This is only being talked about because the UK government has decided to leave the EU'. Yeah. And because of that...

  33. #8433
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    At this point I think we should cut them loose just so that awful woman can shut up about it.

  34. #8434
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Deadly Dom cruising around dropping bodies tonight, he really is the GOAT.

  35. #8435
    I used to be funny.
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    I mean, the border can create jobs by sheer security alone. And they need a Greggs, a Costa and a WH Smiths for the waiting room. And someone to clean said waiting room. PEOPLE WILL ALWAYS NEED ROOMS.

  36. #8436
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Dom's blog posts are always good value.

  37. #8437
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Henry Newman seems like a right little nonce.

  38. #8438
    Senior Member Bernanke's Avatar
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    Well then...

  39. #8439
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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  40. #8440
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    This whole story is hilarious. How do you get elected in the wake of the Expenses scandal and think this won't get out.

  41. #8441
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    He's an actual idiot and/or just thinks he's above the hoi polloi.

    Deadly Dom torpedoing this government would be hilarious.

  42. #8442
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Dom is massively winning me over. Absolute masterclass in trolling.

    The "pile the bodies high" stuff is quality.

  43. #8443
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    The Conservative Party will shuffle him and his brass and her gay little crew into retirement next year. Let him [and Matt Hancock] take the fall for any shite that emerges once we start shaking all of the wank off, and then put your savings into Cuban heels and forced perspective futures.

  44. #8444
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    To paraphrase Malcolm Tucker, Boris is unfuckable. His image of buffonery and the general political malaise in the wake of the never ending culture wars mean I reckon he could get away with some seriously heinous shit on camera and still get away with it.

  45. #8445
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    The Conservative Party will shuffle him and his brass and her gay little crew into retirement next year. Let him [and Matt Hancock] take the fall for any shite that emerges once we start shaking all of the wank off, and then put your savings into Cuban heels and forced perspective futures.
    Michael Gove scraping a 10 majority at the next election on a 'Make Dom Emperor' ticket will be a fitting end to this whole era.

  46. #8446
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Keir 'Sir Keir Starmer' Starmer going on the telly and saying 'It's not about who is and isn't emperor, it's about...' and finishing third.

  47. #8447
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Starmer looking utterly crestfallen as his New New Labour crumble to a more humiliating defeat than Corbyn without Brexit to fall back on as excuse will be a silver lining.

  48. #8448
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    'We're not New Labour. We're not Old Labour. We're just Labour.'
    *wins ten marginals and calls it a success*

  49. #8449
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Genuinely thickest bloke in media.


  50. #8450
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    It's one of the most foul words in the dictionary but having seen John Lewis furniture be described as 'aspirational' by whatever foul cunt on twitter has truly marked a nadir for humanity.

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