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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #7001
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I may actually try that at some point and see if anybody believes me.

  2. #7002
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Brlan.

  3. #7003
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Went with a consultant today to break the news to some parents that their kid probably has leukaemia. They only brought them in with some joint pains. Totally blindsided. It was brutal; haven't been affected by something at work like this for a long time.

  4. #7004
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Well, absolutely fuck that on all fronts.

  5. #7005
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Was in a meeting with someone using a standing desk yesterday and it was like a birds eye view but from a urinals perspective. Although he didn’t have his knob out.

    Also had a meeting mostly discussing Mason Greenwood.

    The big big bosslady wants me to do a “work based learning qualification” which is essentially an apprenticeship but people seem to stray away from saying that cos it’s associated with people bordering on special needs learning a trade. If I can swing it that I can get a day off a week but do nothing extra other than fill in a form every so often saying what I’ve been upto, it sounds great - brownie points with the director, which will likely lead to a promotion, and more time off. However, if it turns out to be actual extra work, I’m not so keen. Anyone done one, as an adult?
    I'm a twit

  6. #7006
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Avoid at all costs.

  7. #7007
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Fell in to that trap when I was in a Civil Service job. Ended up with loads of little jobs to do but not a sniff of actual career progression.

    Never again.

  8. #7008
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Remember that it is actually brownie points for your boss to show she is 'developing' you so it is worth being wary of that angle, happened to my mate where they kept insisting he did additional degrees and post graduate qualifications until he was burnt out and no better off in the role for it.

  9. #7009
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    “I would prefer to focus on my role.”

    Cheers boys.
    I'm a twit

  10. #7010
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Realistically, being good at your job should be sufficient to step up when the opportunity presents. If it isn't good enough, then it's a dead end job and you're best served fucking it off in short order.

  11. #7011

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    I've got zero qualifications (relating to my job). I've been casually asked a few times if I want to do any but honestly they'll mean nothing but letters after my name. My job is so niche that there's not really anything applicable that I've found.

    If they're going to pay for it and it's definitely useful for career progression then snap their hand off, otherwise question what's actually in it for you.

  12. #7012
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Realistically, being good at your job should be sufficient to step up when the opportunity presents. If it isn't good enough, then it's a dead end job and you're best served fucking it off in short order.
    Every single job in my department, above mine, says a degree or equivalent qualification is essential and I dropped out of uni after 4 days. Meanwhile the lad with a degree in graphic fucking design is considered a possible candidate.
    I'm a twit

  13. #7013
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    That's mad if all they're after is a degree.

    And especially mad that it still matters if the job is the natural progression for the one you're in.

  14. #7014
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Yeah, I'd be fucking off ASAP.

  15. #7015
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    On the flip side, having a qualification that someone else pays for is not a bad thing.

  16. #7016
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Depends what it is really. If your own employer insists on a degree for progression, then anything under that is a bit of a waste of time. Or, at best, fluff to "support" you in your current role.

    I'd potentially find out what the qualification is and how respected it is though.

  17. #7017
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    The Arab has tested positive for covid. His brother, the IT guy, was just installing new monitors on my desk. Literally 5 minutes later, he tested positive as well and is going home.

    If I survive this onslaught I'm superhuman.

  18. #7018
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    My wife gets a lift to work with a woman and 2 others. She managed to give 2 of the 3 Covid, but one of them just can not catch it. Her husband and kids have had it and now she's sat next to my wife who tested positive 6 hours later.

    I heard on the radio the other day that they believe the Common Cold (atleast the ones caused by CoronaViruses) can give you some immunity. Or, more likely, you may have just been asymptomatic at some point.

    When I had it last month I literally only knew because my daughter tested positive and I did some cautionary tests afterwards. I'd never have known otherwise. I just felt a bit tired.

  19. #7019
    Senior Member wullie's Avatar
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    Near enough everyone in my daughter's room at nursery has had it the same time she's been there and I've been sat near people at work who've then called in the next day after testing positive, still none of us in the house have tested positive for it at all. There's got to be something in regular colds bumping up your resistance because we've always got some kind of cold or bug every few weeks it feels like.

  20. #7020
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Get your plague talk in the plague thread. The degree as a requirement is ridiculous, especially when it is unrelated. A hangover from Blair I think, at least some sane employers recognise that if you have worked in an industry for years that is equivalent experience in lieu of a degree.

  21. #7021

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    20% of regular "colds" are one of the four endemic coronaviruses we already live with (the other 80% is rhinovirus mainly).

    If the immunity to COVID because of those is true, then sound, because otherwise I've had an asymptomatic infection at some point. No way I've actually avoided it all this time if it's as contagious as we're told (England's Euro campaign spelled the end of all COVID "mitigations" in the North East; it's always a shock to the system when I go further south and see how much more seriously they're taking it in comparison).

  22. #7022
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Degrees are pointless about 90% of the time. I have one of the pointless ones.

    Degrees to become Lawyers and Doctors are probably the only actual necessary ones.

  23. #7023
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    Well, absolutely fuck that on all fronts.
    Yeah, it fucking sucks. I really feel for the Dads because you can tell they feel like they have to be strong for everyone else and can't show their emotion.

    People who can do paediatric oncology are either very special people, or sociopaths. My experience is of the former but there must be some of the latter around too.

  24. #7024
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ben View Post
    20% of regular "colds" are one of the four endemic coronaviruses we already live with (the other 80% is rhinovirus mainly).

    If the immunity to COVID because of those is true, then sound, because otherwise I've had an asymptomatic infection at some point. No way I've actually avoided it all this time if it's as contagious as we're told (England's Euro campaign spelled the end of all COVID "mitigations" in the North East; it's always a shock to the system when I go further south and see how much more seriously they're taking it in comparison).
    It's definitely regional, but I don't think it's a North / South thing. Masks have been gone for a long time in deepest Essex and they were pretty rare in London when I went on New Years Eve. Kent was pretty masky before Christmas, mind.

  25. #7025
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    It's a corporate / non-corporate thing. If you have an arse worth covering then it's being covered. Otherwise, who cares.

    Would probably map well onto the Remain/Leave voting map.

  26. #7026
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Degrees are pointless about 90% of the time. I have one of the pointless ones.
    I too am in the pointless degree crew.

  27. #7027

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    And me. Economics degree. Realised two months after graduating that I can't cope with London so my career in that industry was torpedoed.

  28. #7028
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    My politics degree is useful in all aspects of life. Especially useful for the two areas where I spend thousands of hours a year, an international sales office and amateur cricket.

  29. #7029
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I work in the same field as my degree. How do you end up doing something different?

  30. #7030
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    I work in the same field as my degree. How do you end up doing something different?
    I imagine by applying for all and any "graduate opportunity" jobs.
    I'm a twit

  31. #7031
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Most degrees do not have an associated field.

  32. #7032
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    They have some sort of ties rather than political selling of engine parts.

  33. #7033
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    I work in the same field as my degree. How do you end up doing something different?
    In my case by going to uni because from the age of about 11 that was all school (and my parents, but I was at that point set to be the first in my family to go and get a degree so I don't hold it against them) told me you did. You're always working towards GCSEs, A Levels and uni and there was never another thing I specifically wanted to do or had in mind and just going to uni seemed the easy option.

    Chuck in a bit of what Pepe said and I ended up with a degree that wasn't especially useful, I did get a job related to it and didn't like it, just took a call centre job initially while I worked out what I went to do and have ended up where I am now.

  34. #7034
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    A politics degree doesn't get you into any job directly (especially not one in politics). Out of uni I wanted to go into market research, I had several short term contracts in firms which I hoped would constitute a foot in the door. None of them were and the last one (on a phone bank) made me think I wasn't cut out for it anyway. So I went down the local employment agency and said here I am, I'll do whatever. The Koreans hired me from that without an interview. Three years with them was more than enough and so I moved here, as I saw the pay was the same and it offered progression. At my interview the MD asked me to point to a piston from among the bits shown on the corporate poster, I said I couldn't. He gave me the job later that afternoon, on the basis that I can speak French and Spanish (did them at school and just about kept them going well enough in between).

    I'm sure many TTHers employment history bear some sort of relation to that pathway, unless you're in a specialist trade of some kind it's just go wherever, work hard enough in between and you'll find a way - and an education, of any kind, doesn't hurt.

  35. #7035
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    I work in the same field as my degree. How do you end up doing something different?
    Finishing my Business Degree in 2009, a year into a financial crisis and global recession, was admittedly poor timing.

  36. #7036
    I used to be funny.
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    Could've been worse. I packed my Computing degree in and then didn't find work for three years. Not that the degree would've got much use. I'm just not that kind of nerd.

  37. #7037
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    At my interview the MD asked me to point to a piston from among the bits shown on the corporate poster, I said I couldn't. He gave me the job later that afternoon


    I once applied to a job as a waiter. The manager asked me to roleplay selling a specific wine to him. I said 'I don't know. This one's good,' or something along those lines. He told me to show up the week after for my first shift.

  38. #7038
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    All my interviews bar one were slogs of things. Hate doing them.

  39. #7039
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Finishing my Business Degree in 2009, a year into a financial crisis and global recession, was admittedly poor timing.
    High five brother.

    I ended up in financial services because I wanted to do an internship which placed you in companies in New York. The placement ended up at a bank and then once in, I've not bothered looking outside

  40. #7040
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    My qualifications are perfect for my job, but I was unemployed for years because they're worthless for literally everything else.

  41. #7041
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    I work in the same field as my degree. How do you end up doing something different?
    Common sense at the university of life followed by a postgrad at the school of hard knocks, aye?

  42. #7042
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Post-graduate study at the University of Knowledge.

  43. #7043
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post


    I once applied to a job as a waiter. The manager asked me to roleplay selling a specific wine to him. I said 'I don't know. This one's good,' or something along those lines. He told me to show up the week after for my first shift.
    My first ever job (after getting a politics degree like Jim) was stacking shelves on the night shift at Asda. They gave us some Heinz oven gloves and made us roleplay a corporate sales pitch as though we were from Heinz and trying to convince Asda head office to stock them in their shops. Really good way to guage how many cages of pizzas and chicken nuggets we could chuck into freezers while telling pissed Polish people "sorry no, we're not allowed to sell alcohol after 10pm".

  44. #7044
    Just Luca, but still a DJ Luca's Avatar
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    I did management, concentrated in economics and finance, and I’m a management consultant serving mainly financial services clients.

    I could have done any degree, to be honest. Wouldn’t have mattered a lick. Maybe it would have made ramp up at the beginning a bit slower, I suppose. But the functional knowledge all gets re-picked up anyways.

  45. #7045
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    *slides over business card*
    'The Brand: Luca'

  46. #7046
    I used to be funny.
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    "See this tea towel? Samsung gave it to me. This could be your life."

  47. #7047

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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    I work in the same field as my degree. How do you end up doing something different?
    Do a degree that interests you but you didn’t do any research on what the career post-graduation entails. Fuck it all off because London, move back home, run a random business because no commitments so why the fuck not, fail, get a random job at the company next door, automate your entire job but don’t tell them you’ve done that so you look awesome, get poached via LinkedIn for current job, bore you lot to death with life story.

  48. #7048
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    I dropped out of uni after being quite ill in my first year studying English Lit and Film. I preferred making money to studying and got on the railway. I managed to get promoted once I moved away having been stuck before hand. Not sure I'd have been any better off with a degree.

  49. #7049
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ben View Post
    Do a degree that interests you but you didn’t do any research on what the career post-graduation entails. Fuck it all off because London, move back home, run a random business because no commitments so why the fuck not, fail, get a random job at the company next door, automate your entire job but don’t tell them you’ve done that so you look awesome, get poached via LinkedIn for current job, bore you lot to death with life story.
    What was the random business and then company next door?

  50. #7050

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    Business was primarily cabling supplies working with the companies who provide the camera setups at sports stadiums. Timed it perfectly because they all went wireless for a lot of things around the same time. Company next door was run of the mill business solutions, completely unrelated, they just offered me a job because I had got friendly with a few of them over time and they knew I was suddenly available.

    Now work in the construction industry…

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